FACEBOOK rant

[canuckhooker 19203]

Well. I am going to wade in here because unfortunately we are missing a couple of major issues. I will have to out myself as one of the individuals implicated. I was one of the clients who was on another SPs friend's list that linked to Annessa. However, what wasn't mentioned, and is key to this argument, is the reason I found Annessa's FB profile was not through being on the SP's friend's list but because I got invited to the same event on Facebook as Annessa did. It turns out we have mutual friends and acquaintances in Real Life. When I opened the link to the event page, the first picture of who was coming to the event was Annessa and under the picture was the real name. And Annessa I am surprised you forgot that because I told you that to your face. I only found out later you were on the other SP's list. I also found out later, that you too had at least one client on your list.

 

That is where the danger lies, particularly in a place like Ottawa where in essence we are really a small town. You may have a working pseudonym, but people know your face. If you post your face on the net with your real name someone could see it and put two and two together. If you have other interests where your face is posted a lot, even more chance of getting "discovered". Facebook only exacerbates the problem, not so much through friends lists but by the other social networking tools such as Events, groups, fan lists etc. If you use photo recognition software like CK does, to find fake ads etc, it doesn't take much more reasoning to realize it can be used for other uses, such as taking pics from CERB galleries and finding real-life websites or vice versa.

 

This is all pretty much common sense.

 

As for the artwork comment, I apologize for stumbling across it, ( I won't say where so nobody else knows where to look) and then looking for more. I really should not have taken an interest, but I mistakenly thought an artist might like a compliment or the fact that someone took interest. It is not like you ever hid that fact you were an aritist, you seemed quite proud of it. Don't worry it won't happen again.

[Annessa 22743]

Well. I am going to wade in here because unfortunately we are missing a couple of major issues. I will have to out myself as one of the individuals implicated. I was one of the clients who was on another SPs friend's list that linked to Annessa. However, what wasn't mentioned, and is key to this argument, is the reason I found Annessa's FB profile was not through being on the SP's friend's list but because I got invited to the same event on Facebook as Annessa did. It turns out we have mutual friends and acquaintances in Real Life. When I opened the link to the event page, the first picture of who was coming to the event was Annessa and under the picture was the real name. And Annessa I am surprised you forgot that because I told you that to your face. I only found out later you were on the other SP's list. I also found out later, that you too had at least one client on your list.

 

That is where the danger lies, particularly in a place like Ottawa where in essence we are really a small town. You may have a working pseudonym, but people know your face. If you post your face on the net with your real name someone could see it and put two and two together. If you have other interests where your face is posted a lot, even more chance of getting "discovered". Facebook only exacerbates the problem, not so much through friends lists but by the other social networking tools such as Events, groups, fan lists etc. If you use photo recognition software like CK does, to find fake ads etc, it doesn't take much more reasoning to realize it can be used for other uses, such as taking pics from CERB galleries and finding real-life websites or vice versa.

 

This is all pretty much common sense.

 

As for the artwork comment, I apologize for stumbling across it, ( I won't say where so nobody else knows where to look) and then looking for more. I really should not have taken an interest, but I mistakenly thought an artist might like a compliment or the fact that someone took interest. It is not like you ever hid that fact you were an aritist, you seemed quite proud of it. Don't worry it won't happen again.

 

you always have to out yourself as someone I'm talking about when I try to be discreet and respect that dont ya? oy.....like I said everyone, drama only ensues.....Thanks for proving my point CH. I also think this proves how some members can take it far too personally that some girls dont like it when a client snoops or admits she doesnt like them admiting to knowng person details about her or having seen them etc.

 

stumbling upon and then searching for more are two different things....and no i do not take it as a compliment. sorry.

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

That's what I do, being away from home FB is a great way to communicate with friends/family and even know how they do but I do not allow friends of friends to see my profile. I think there's even a setting to not allow anyone find you by name so only ppl you invite can befriend you or see your profile.

 

In FB privacy settings do not let 'Friends of Friends' see anything.

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

Annessa - If people are recognizing you by your face, can you make your profile picture not viewable by anyone but your friends? I don't know how to do this, but I know people who do it so there must be a way.

[777flyer 1612]

you always have to out yourself as someone I'm talking about when I try to be discreet and respect that dont ya? oy.....like I said everyone, drama only ensues.....Thanks for proving my point CH. I also think this proves how some members can take it far too personally that some girls dont like it when a client snoops or admits she doesnt like them admiting to knowng person details about her or having seen them etc.

 

stumbling upon and then searching for more are two different things....and no i do not take it as a compliment. sorry.

 

This is absolutely BANG ON....

 

I don't know why people don't always maintain absolute discretion...... don't assume it is ok to be a LITTLE non-discrete in certain situations, because it is NOT.....

 

always be discrete, always.....if not for your sake, for your client or SP

 

SNK

[fortunateone 156618]

This is absolutely BANG ON....

 

I don't know why people don't always maintain absolute discretion...... don't assume it is ok to be a LITTLE non-discrete in certain situations, because it is NOT.....

 

always be discrete, always.....if not for your sake, for your client or SP

 

SNK

 

I would go one step further -- don't think you are the exception to the rule that discretion is paramount, or that you are so special that this rule does not apply to you.

 

I saw an sp exposed with enough info to link to her real name with her facebook page. This was not done by one of her fans, but yet another disgruntled wannabe client who actually has a bad reputation amongst the local sps (well deserved I might add), so these things can and will happen at any time. She for some reason used her sp pics in her FB profile, did not set the privacy levels at all, and now whoever wanted to knows her real name. Also, she uses face pics in sp ads and on the FB, along with real location, etc, and you do not have to be a friend to find her. She may be retired now, but the vindictive people are still out there after all.

 

If an sp makes every effort to disguise her face and identity in her sp advertising, and someone comes across her real identity from another route, then I would consider it an act of slander and defamation and the actions of a complete sociopath to post the link anywhere, to tell anyone else, or to do anything other than discretely send her a message detailing how he stumbled across the info and suggest ways for her to set up privacy settings that will help prevent that from happening to anyone else.

[VedaSloan 119179]

I just went through my list again to doublecheck I wasn't one of the offenders!

 

But I'm safe!

[Annessa 22743]

Annessa - If people are recognizing you by your face' date=' can you make your profile picture not viewable by anyone but your friends? I don't know how to do this, but I know people who do it so there must be a way.[/quote']

 

to my knowledge I thought my profile pictures were hidden to anyone who wasn't my friend....the problem is fixed now as I have my profile pictures now viewable to only friends, I'm not sure about how this will appear as the main picture tho.

 

fortunateone, I totally get that situation, as I'm going through another situation similar myself with an outside friend posting my cerb page and facebook page all on a separate non-escort related board. I'm currently seeking legal action. I have removed my album on cerb as it was the link and taken away any face-pictures (I only had one)

 

Additional Comments:

I just went through my list again to doublecheck I wasn't one of the offenders!

 

But I'm safe!

 

lol, nope Erin, you're still good in my books :-)

[Andee 220524]

t

fortunateone, I totally get that situation, as I'm going through another situation similar myself with an outside friend posting my cerb page and facebook page all on a separate non-escort related board. I'm currently seeking legal action. I have removed my album on cerb as it was the link and taken away any face-pictures (I only had one)

:-)

 

I said it before and I will say it again, I cannot believe the evil-spiritness of some people. You are a good person and loyal friend and to be treated like this is a damn shame.

 

We're talking about adults here behaving worse than kids. It's almost inconceivable really that people would do something like that.

[Guest s******ecan****]

Excellent thread Annessa. I think this is an important topic for anyone in the hobby. I think SP's and clients alike need to give it serious thought because FB is here to stay and more and more SP's are going to be using it. For myself I plan to avoid it until I am more confident of my own understanding, but I can see why others find it valuable.

[Two Thirty 1422]

I agree, an excellent thread, Annessa. It's sobering to read just how invasive FB can be if you aren't careful -- and discrete -- with your personal info.

[VedaSloan 119179]

 

 

lol, nope Erin, you're still good in my books :-)

 

 

WHEW. I had one of those moments where I went "Crap, I don't have any clients in there do I?" and then immediately went to look. Hahaha.

[Reddog01 30280]

I have a fake Facebook account to allow me to search and a veiled email account to communicate with SPs and MAs. I am too cautious to put up a real site just in case there are unintended repercussions. Like someone mentioned, there is recognition software to find all kinds of links. Not just pictures but names addresses and phrases. Once google brought me to a CERB link when I was searching for something very benignly. I was surprised to find a thread with my alias front and centre.

 

When you use the internet beware. Everyone can see it.

[Lexy Grace 103697]

I 100% agree. I don't even show my picture on FB now. My privacy settings are for friends only to view anything and everything, they are family, friends who have moved away and people I know personally. I have always done that. When I did have my picture up I went to see this gentleman and he said you look farmiliar, I think we have some of the same friends on FB. As soon as I got home my picture changed to something that is not me or my face. I did have an issue with a FB link to my site, I don't know how or who did it but I got the link and FB banned from going to my site. I was feaking out as this is a very private business for me.

[Exotic European Jessie 100]

Thanks for starting this thread it's a good idea, even though it should be common sense in everyone's mind to stay out of other's personal lives.

 

No profile picture, no real name birthday or location, increased privacy setting so no one can view my friends list, and I keep all photos private even to friends, and I hope for the best.

 

I didn't even know FB existed for the longest time, until I began investigating why a lot of people stopped replying to regular hotmails all of a sudden...I really only use FB to keep in contact with those friends and family overseas and across provinces who are so addicted to it that they don't pickup their phone anymore.

 

Does anyone know if there is a way to change the privacy setting to hide mutual friends?

[Lexy Grace 103697]

Good question "Does anyone know if there is a way to change the privacy setting to hide mutual friends?"and advice. I'm changing my privacy setting also so no one can view my friends list.

[Annessa 22743]

Good question "Does anyone know if there is a way to change the privacy setting to hide mutual friends?"and advice. I'm changing my privacy setting also so no one can view my friends list.

 

I have been back and forth with this all day and i cant seem to find anyway to block who can see your friends in common link...it offers a way to hide your relationships, family etc......but for anyone that I have got a friend request sent to me from there is ALWAYS a list of mutual friends.....something that facebook uses to always spam us with "friend" requests.....I dont know if theres a way around hiding mutual friends on FB and I have considered having me and many others approach FB about this issue.

 

unfortunately however, facebook breeds on social networking and will probably have a million and one reasons as to why this lack of privacy on our accounts "helps" others find their friends....ugh

[Andee 220524]

Annessa: Chanel is the "Facebook Queen" and mentioned something to me awhile back about there being higher level of privacy settings that are available that aren't obvious - or something like that.

 

We have a mutual friend who was causing all sorts of problems with gossip and she sealed up her FB account tighter than a nun's...

 

Anyways, pm her - she is always happy to help.

[masterowls 249]

so this month alone I have delt with Three different cases of SPs who choose to add their clients to their facebook....thats all fine if they decide to do so.

 

my problem however? when I'm at a social and a male member makes a comment about MY facebook page because he has put 2 and 2 together with whoever was dumb enough to add him to her FB page. or a client blurts out that we have a similar last name and he did a google search after finding out my name to check out my artwork....ummmm...??????!

 

Ladies...I know they you may feel comfortable with a client and on a friend basis with them but realize that when you add your clients to your page you are not only jeopardizing YOUR privacy...but the privacy of other SPs that you have on your facebook.

 

I have NO wish to have clients rummage through my art pages or see what friends they have in common with me etc etc...and I certainly have a MASSIVE problem with people learning my full real name!

 

whats annoying is that clients dont seem to realize that it is a HUGE blurring of boundaries when they "figure" out who we are and say so. to me, its like someone just drove up to my house, honked and said "hey you! [insert real name] i know where you live and hang out and I think I know your dad!"

 

Ladies, you dont have to add EVERYONE to your facebook. I realize that clients can be friends...but blurring those lines makes drama for everyone involved...I have never encountered anyone adding a client to facebook that didnt end in some kind of messy drama...especially if she realizes she doesnt want them on her facebook anymore

 

GUYS, just because someone doesn't add you to your facebook doesn't mean that they're not your friend...take whatever connection you have here on Cerb and in physical contact and treasure that....it doesnt need to go further than that.

 

Today I have deleted 2 girls off my facebook who have chosen to add clients as friends. I admit that I have ONE client on my facebook but only because he was my friend on facebook through mutual friends before becoming a client....and I dont even see him anymore so I dont think that counts.

 

To me adding anyone to facebook is like seeing someone off the clock 24/7...its extremely unprofessional and comparable to adding your boss to your FB...business and personal life should be separate. am I the only one who thinks like this?

 

Privacy is important to everyone....blur the lines and things will only get more complicated.

These Women should realize they risk exposing your personal info too,... What the hell went through their heads...?

[Lowdark 5613]

Facebook has evolved beyond mere social networking. Recent scandals involving the release of private information for millions of users and its presence in a number of recent and tragic investigations of cyber-bullying that resulted in suicide. Not to mention the threat of predators trolling for victims, particularly young kids. Hell, even employers are using FB now as a way to do background checks on applicants and existing employees. EVERYONE needs to take care of their personal information, and SPs and MAs have to be more careful than others because of the nature of the industry. Its unfortunate some exercise poor judgement in dealing with their information, forgetting they're jeopradizing others as well. Equally unfortunate that there are a lot of people, hobbyists and non-hobbyists alike, who fail to exercise discretion when stumbling upon some information. This is the information age afterall, and personal data has become the new currency. It's a dangerous sword that cuts both ways and can wound friends and others as well as an individual. What's really unfair is some ladies like Anessa are forced into these situations by a few others not exercising adequate caution. The sad reality is that no matter how much security and protection you use, you can't always protect yourself from other people's decisions.

[Lexy Grace 103697]

Facebook has evolved beyond mere social networking. Recent scandals involving the release of private information for millions of users and its presence in a number of recent and tragic investigations of cyber-bullying that resulted in suicide. Not to mention the threat of predators trolling for victims, particularly young kids. Hell, even employers are using FB now as a way to do background checks on applicants and existing employees. EVERYONE needs to take care of their personal information, and SPs and MAs have to be more careful than others because of the nature of the industry. Its unfortunate some exercise poor judgement in dealing with their information, forgetting they're jeopradizing others as well. Equally unfortunate that there are a lot of people, hobbyists and non-hobbyists alike, who fail to exercise discretion when stumbling upon some information. This is the information age afterall, and personal data has become the new currency. It's a dangerous sword that cuts both ways and can wound friends and others as well as an individual. What's really unfair is some ladies like Anessa are forced into these situations by a few others not exercising adequate caution. The sad reality is that no matter how much security and protection you use, you can't always protect yourself from other people's decisions.

You said "poor judgement". FB even allows people to post their website links as I have seen a person I know from school post his website to promote his girlfriend or whatever she is to him. He was deleted quick, as I see her ads on CL. I went through my friends list today with a fine tooth comb.

[Lowdark 5613]

Guilty as charged Lexy. I was trying to be diplomatic. Your right, anyone who posts a link that can draw that kind of attention is guilty of more than questionable judgement.

[Lexy Grace 103697]

Guilty as charged Lexy. I was trying to be diplomatic. Your right, anyone who posts a link that can draw that kind of attention is guilty of more than questionable judgement.

Very true. I love the internet but it can be a scary place, especially when this is a very private business for the SP and the hobbyist.

[Cleo Catra 178382]

Bringing this thread back up because today I had the unpleasant experience of being contacted on facebook by someone from here. Someone I've never even MET.

 

The audacity of such an action seriously floors me. Cleo Catra and the personal me are two separate entities. Sorry guys if that comes as a shocker! I do not want gentlemen on here to know my full real name (although many, that I've met and TRUST, know my first). That is very, very personal, private information.

 

If you recognize someone in the 'suggestions' section on facebook from here, leave them alone. Or, if it's someone you've met, possibly mention it to them when you speak. But getting a facebook message from someone saying 'I know you from cerb', actually felt like such an invasion of my privacy I almost burst into angry tears.

 

I responded to this 'gentleman's' message and let him know why what he'd done was wrong. However, unfortunately, I think needs to be brought to people's attention again because I don't want this to happen again, to me or to anyone else on here. Most people here who read my posts I hope know that I'm not one to come on here and rant about things that go wrong in this business, however in this case I need to make my opinion on this issue known.

 

I would never, ever, jump into a hobbiest's personal life like that, and I expect the same back. Just be respectful everyone, and you'll get the same back :)

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

... If you recognize someone in the 'suggestions' section on facebook from here, leave them alone....

 

As I said before in my previous post on this thread, this is what I did the one time I signed onto Facebook in my life. The obvious power of the Facebook tools for tracking down connections thoroughly creeps me out. Some folks are comfortable with exposing themselves to such things. Not me.