Bored...Why?

[Guest]

I'm right there with you ... kind of lost and wandering ... not knowing what/if I should post.

[Guest S****r]

I absolutely agree. I used to be driven to get on cerb and see what all was being said and discussed, but now.....bored is exactly the word that I had ascribed to it. I get on and check and don't see much of interest. I can't even remember what used to be so interesting to me.

 

I thought maybe it was because so much was moved to the "fun thread" forum, which I very rarely look at. Maybe that is why. But when I do look there, I don't see much that interests me there either..

 

Don't get me wrong. I am grateful for this board and it has my full support. But I do agree that I have become bored on here.

 

What was it we used to talk about that seemed so fascinating at the time?

lol

 

Times have changed, for sure.

[Guest N***he**Ont**y]

I decided to take a break from here for a couple of weeks to have some second thought about what I could contribute to this site. Yes I am back but I will only be able to contribute on the postings of others. I see that most of my recommendations were deleted from the past with the change in format last year. A very frustrating experience for all of us I am sure. So if I find something humorous I may post it and if something is news worthy I may post it. Perhaps there will be some posts on the fun threads but I am also of the feeling this site has lost its way some how and we will all have to pull together to help direct this site in the new direction IMO.

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

I think I would use the term disheartened. This new law has not only taken away the right to consensual pleasure between adults but it has taken away our freedom to talk about sex and pleasure because even if it's not about an exchange, it's about sex and could be connected. I miss the interaction and openness. I miss the acceptance and support. Yes, we're still supportive but it's surrounded by feeling like we've been stripped of something and I think many will agree, many seem on edge and prone to pounce more negatively.

 

I've noticed a huge shift and myself have shifted to my personal blogs to make commentary. I miss the interaction and different views that we used to enjoy.

 

There is now risk involved in doing this that's not related to stigma or not wanting so and so to know. It can impact jobs and careers and even result in jail or fines. I understand why some choose to remain in the background and it's entirely frustrating that we're at this point and I can only pray that we will get some enlightened leaders into places of power and change and rectify the wrongs slammed into place by our government.

 

Like NorthernOntGuy said, it feels we have lost our way and the only way back is together. It's not illegal to talk about sex in general terms or to flirt and enjoy. I suppose we have to find that line.

[mrgreen760 37785]

Bill C-36 has had an impact without question but I think it's also a bit of a natural attrition. Demographics is having an impact as younger players really have no interest in this kind of social media. Sort of like golf, older folks still play but the youngins can't be bothered cause it takes too much time and for them it's boring. Certainly some quality players have moved on or gone to ground but there seems to be little benefit seen by lots of players on both sides. There is more of an edge and while I have generally have no issue with that, it does spin out of control very quickly and become repetitive and redundant. There does seem to be a lot of anger and frustration out there.

 

Maybe it is just inevitable that things will change.

 

Peace

MG

[Helena D'Orville 33237]

I think that if everybody leaves the ship, then this is "the beginning of the end". Things are what we make them. This website, despite the new rules since last December, is still what we make of it. Human beings adapt to new situations. We can still talk about many things, and even the things that are supposed to be censored, using the art of language. Think about countries where freedom of expression is a real issue for human beings, and even a risk for them to be killed. Ladies & Gentlemen, YES, the F--K you can write about anything you want!

 

Don't give up, or this government will win this for good! Resistance is the solution. Nobody will tell me how I should live and enjoy my sexuality, even when it is related to business.

 

F--K Yeah!

[Guest S****r]

I don't think anyone is suggesting leaving. I think people are just expressing that they are bored. And trying to pinpoint what is the difference

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

It has changed and I've considered leaving the board. I understand the reasoning why things have changed here (mostly legalities) but I agree that it's not the same as it used to be.

Posted via Mobile Device

[Guest jake_cdn]

Though I do agree that things are different now I believe that it is still important even within the confines of the changes.

 

Different ... yes !

 

... but it is still the best option of all forums out there and I will not be considering leaving. Hope others feel the same.

[drlove 37204]

I think a lot of people here have scurried into their cubby holes and are peeking out, evaluating the changed landscape. It's not a surprise that many have been left feeling dejected and disillusioned. It's only natural, after being stripped of our freedom of expression and choice through no fault of our own.

 

I often wish that the general public at large were more educated about the workings of the industry. If they were, more of them would be up in arms. Let's be clear: the new laws have nothing to do with combating trafficking and exploitation - there are already laws on the books for that. The government is banking on societal ignorance and apathy that will allow them to feed the public their drivel and have it unquestionably accepted. On the surface, for the layman the new laws sound good, considering they accept the party line at face value. But, as we all know, the truth is much more sinister. It's an attempt to legislate morality, which I believe takes away our basic rights and freedoms. Sadly, most people are unaware that this is even occurring.

 

To put things in perspective, imagine for a moment that the Conservatives passed a bill that made engaging in pre-marital sex amongst civilians illegal. There would be an uproar of momentous proportions, with riots across the country. Of course, the opposition would jump at the chance to publicly announce that they will squash such unconstitutional legislation, if only they are elected to form the next government... So, is there really a difference between this hypothetical scenerio, and the one we are currently faced with? Just one - premarital sex is free, and the other is for an exchange.

[Guest]

Well, I'm going to take out my proverbial bad guy stick. I'm probably going to say some things that I'm going to regret, or I'm probably going to upset some people but....

 

I don't think it's just about the law. In my opinion this place isn't as rosy as people think. I would love to have a friendly place to post on and have fun. However, when I do post, I think my posts get taken out of context, my business ends up getting attacked, or it seems like people have other motives, other than having fun, or being friendly. I have felt picked apart many times and rather upset because of it. You can put a friendly face on things and write things in a diplomatic way, but people do and will read between the lines.

 

We have a right to disagree, but when it turns into name calling, when people are being signaled out, and when nit picking happens, posting is just not fun anymore. I have seen all of this on cerb and I have experienced it first hand.

 

I myself do not want to give my energy and time to post and end up upsetting people, being made fun of, and being that guy/girl. Maybe others feel the same? I think we as a group need to be more accepting of others opinions/feelings and the "balance" will come back.

 

Lyla is a great place to find recommendations and authentic companions. However, I do not like participating in the discussions because of the things stated above. I know that I'm not perfect and just like everyone else, I've made mistakes here. Sorry, a lot of mistakes, but that's how I learn. One could say that the discussions are posted so we all can learn, share our opinion and get a new perspective. One opinion isn't right and the other wrong, it just is...I'm sorry for pissing everyone off again, but since you asked, like always, I will give my authentic opinion on things.

[Parker 19761]

I know that I'm not perfect and just like everyone else, I've made mistakes here. Sorry, a lot of mistakes, but that's how I learn.

 

Me too.. I still have the two infraction points as a reminder, lol.

 

I've never been a huge contributor here, but the new laws are definitely stopping me from talking as much or about the same things as I use to. I'm a liberated woman with a very high... libido... a lot of my life revolves around sex.

 

At the same time, Lyla is a valuable resource to me and I really don't want it to be shut down or made a target.. so I understand their need to censor the site.

 

Not knowing if I can talk about something or knowing I can't has made it difficult, but I honestly think in time things will kinda go back to normal.. I mean, incalls weren't legal, but a lot of us were offering them, talking about them openly, etc.. It will take time for people to relax again.

 

Harper's fear mongering seems to be working everywhere.. :(

[conquistador 18487]

I agree, that this has been happening way before c36... But that hasn't helped the site and since this is an adult site, you can't really discuss sex with all the words being blocked out... Nature of the environment I guess.

 

I do think the place has become stale, and the fun threads are very repetitive and sure I contribute to them once in awhile... But no new ones are being created and just seems the status quo.

 

Like some other sites, it would be nice to discuss day to day news or things that are happening in the world, but none is discussed.

 

I agree with peachy that this board appears rosy on the outside looking in, it can be very unfriendly at times, especially to new posters, who then get attacked or posters who've been around for having a different opinion\views and they get shot down... No wonder no one posts much on here.

 

The attitude needs to change...we think we are the best of the forums, but we have to act what we preach.

 

Still a great site, and for me being in Ottawa this is a way better website than those out there... So for me it works.

 

Cheers.

[drlove 37204]

 

Not knowing if I can talk about something or knowing I can't has made it difficult, but I honestly think in time things will kinda go back to normal.. I mean, incalls weren't legal, but a lot of us were offering them, talking about them openly, etc.. It will take time for people to relax again.

 

Harper's fear mongering seems to be working everywhere.. :(

 

Good point. The thing is, it's still relatively early in the game.. too soon to take anything for granted, so better to err on the side of caution. I would hope that police chiefs / forces across Canada would exercise common sense when choosing which aspects of C-36 to enforce, and which to let fall by the wayside. I believe that so far, they've been rational in their enforcement. However, what will happen in the future is anyone's guess.

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

I understand what mrrnice2 is saying. I left months ago for several reasons and one of them was boredom. The thing is, after looking around, there aren't many "civilized" alternatives out there, just lots and lots of trolls. Things ebb and flow in life and here as well. Hopefully things will improve and we can have many more lively discussions. Until then, let's make the best of it!

 

I'm rejoining because I missed the community and enjoyed voicing opinions on the industry and life in general. I won't be partaking much at all in the more pleasurable side of CERB anymore but hope to reengage with some of you reprobates verbally, now that I'm back! :)

 

Talk soon,

 

Steve(McQueen)

[FunAdventures 4501]

I completely agree with Peachy.

 

For me it has nothing to do with the new laws that I have been fairly silent recently. It's simply that sometimes getting picked apart time and time again just makes it discouraging to participate. The thread about the risks of STI's comes to mind for me, where I felt I had to validate and defend my desire to obtain better information. It's tiring to do that, and not worth the effort. And I've seen it done to many others, where if there opinion doesn't go with the masses, they are berated.

 

I personally would love to talk about more issues and am tired of every thread becoming about the 'new laws'.

 

So I'll start a new thread now and see if I can start a discussion that I am sure will bring out a variety of opinions... Or at least I hope it will

[someguy 67067]

I agree with the post above. There are not as many interesting topics being posted. and with the censorship, can't really say much. It's hard to give recommendations also, because you can't say much. I too have had posted some topics in fun or get some interesting opinions. But then there always some posters that interpret or hijack the thread and turn's it into a negative direction. Some of my thread start off good and then go a totally different tangent :(. These have been so many discussions that it is hard to find something new to discuss. Still I have met many people here and PM them. I used this more to be able to contact and look for recommended companions. So this site is still good for contacting the women of cerb and keeping in contact with other chat buddies. But I find a lot of the regulars have left the chat room also. But at the same time there are new members dropping in for a chat. Hope things will get back to normal. And this stupid law goes away.

[Guest N***he**Ont**y]

There will always be new things to discuss. If I find something on Twitter that I follow up on and can contribute and is interesting to me and perhaps other iI post it. Unfortunately some things are no longer appropriate to this forum so it it cant be posted so we will just have to make a go of it. Self censureship is hard and as someone who like to discuss many topics I find it hard throttle back because of the new format.

[oldblueeyez 15475]

[Guest S****r]

 

hahahahaha

Good one/

[oldblueeyez 15475]

Did you know that Shreddies are Non-GMO Project verified?

That was my excitement for today.

Boring is sexy, right?

Right?

Hello?

[Amanda-Lee 11094]

I'm fairly new still and I didn't understand why I wasn't allowed to use certain words, phrases, or sentences. I enjoy writing, if there wasn't this censorship I would be writing more detailed in my threads of advertisement. Since I can't it annoys me to no end because I'm not allowed to express myself.

 

I remember back in public school (7 years or so ago) the talk about sex wasn't the talk. I lived in the country with farms surrounding. It feels like this not being able to talk about sex.

 

I advertise on CL and my posts always get flagged and are removed no matter how little information I put. I'm always risking advertising even when I barely mention anything. There's risks everywhere because of this law.

 

I feel so censored to post ads anywhere including Lyla. I think it's the censorship and the new law preventing others to express themselves.

 

But I am new so I don't know what it was like before the laws changed.

Posted via Mobile Device

[Guest **cely***r***ne]

The English language is diverse and has many words for one simple thing. There are many ways to express what you would like to say in a "fluffed up" way without breaking rules. Just use your imagination...and maybe it wouldn't be so boring.

 

It might be just me, but I like words and writing and find bending to follow the rules here a conquest, and lame as it may be, it's fun for me to find new ways to express myself. As humans we are creatures of habit and that gets boring after a while. We've learned to adapt to many other things we love so why should posting here be any different?

 

Did you know another word for penis is flesh flute?

[Phaedrus 209521]

A couple of things on this.

 

First, we've lost a few members who contributed a lot and initiated a lot of discussion; they've left, or faded away, or just don't post much any more. Newer folks haven't really replaced them. Maybe it's the new legal climate, maybe it isn't. I don't know why, and I don't know what - if anything - we can do about it.

 

There's also a bit of change in perspective. When I first started reading this board, everything was new and interesting. Now, some of the stuff that I found fascinating back then is a bit... "Oh, God. Not this thread again." I think the folks who have been around a bit longer and have seen pretty much the same thread a dozen times need to remember that there are always going to be people who haven't, and newer members aren't going to find that thread from six months ago which is now on page 14 of the forum index. The board may not now be the same as it was when I first joined... but neither am I the same as I was when I first joined. Nor is anyone else who's been around for a while.

 

As for debates/discussions... yes, the balance here is difficult. Ideally people disagreeing will do so nicely, and people being disagreed with won't take it personally, but none of us are perfect. There's a difference between vehemently disagreeing with what someone wrote and attacking that person, but many of us have differing opinions on where the boundary between the two lies. It's even harder in a written forum where the subtleties of tone of voice are completely absent and comments posted in a light-hearted spirit are misinterpreted.

 

The laws have had some effect... but I think this is limited. Yes, the ladies have to advertize differently, but they seem to be managing. Recos can't be as explicit as they once were... but I've never really liked the play-by-play accounts much, so I'm afraid I don't care about that :). And we now can't ask questions like, "I'm looking for someone who offers..." which is kinda annoying. I hope this will change.

[Athos 108589]

A couple of things on this.

 

First, we've lost a few members who contributed a lot and initiated a lot of discussion; they've left, or faded away, or just don't post much any more. Newer folks haven't really replaced them. Maybe it's the new legal climate, maybe it isn't. I don't know why, and I don't know what - if anything - we can do about it.

 

There's also a bit of change in perspective. When I first started reading this board, everything was new and interesting. Now, some of the stuff that I found fascinating back then is a bit... "Oh, God. Not this thread again." I think the folks who have been around a bit longer and have seen pretty much the same thread a dozen times need to remember that there are always going to be people who haven't, and newer members aren't going to find that thread from six months ago which is now on page 14 of the forum index. The board may not now be the same as it was when I first joined... but neither am I the same as I was when I first joined. Nor is anyone else who's been around for a while.

 

As for debates/discussions... yes, the balance here is difficult. Ideally people disagreeing will do so nicely, and people being disagreed with won't take it personally, but none of us are perfect. There's a difference between vehemently disagreeing with what someone wrote and attacking that person, but many of us have differing opinions on where the boundary between the two lies. It's even harder in a written forum where the subtleties of tone of voice are completely absent and comments posted in a light-hearted spirit are misinterpreted.

 

The laws have had some effect... but I think this is limited. Yes, the ladies have to advertize differently, but they seem to be managing. Recos can't be as explicit as they once were... but I've never really liked the blow-by-blow accounts much, so I'm afraid I don't care about that :). And we now can't ask questions like, "I'm looking for someone who offers..." which is kinda annoying. I hope this will change.

 

I've been reading this thread with interest. I left for a while, because I felt my life had moved in a different direction and I was finding the board to be taking too much of my time. I missed it for a while, then didn't miss it, then became curious again as to what was happening. I left before the change in laws, and came back after the change. I'm not sure I see a huge difference in the board because of the laws. Blocked out words, etc., are a pain. But the basic essence of what this board is, in terms of a community of like-minded group of people involved in this lifestyle, has not.

 

I agree completely with Phaedrus, though, that as someone who has been here for some time (though not as long as others), it can become tired. New threads on old topics. Communities have cycles ...ebbs and flows. New people come in and old people leave. The discussion cycles around. My worry would be that the legislative changes might be dissuading new members from joining. But overall, I do think the health of the community is still strong. I've missed threads where people feel they've been poorly treated. So I certainly hope that hasn't become an undercurrent. I don't necessarily see it, but I also am not very active. I'd urge everyone to keep to the philosophy of this board, which has made it so unique.