A Brief Reminder/Rant

[Kate von Katz 49953]

I recently told someone via e-mail that they were not the kind of client I wished to see. A week later, he calls me and books an appointment. Of course I didn't know it was him. He shows up 20 minutes late, tries to underpay me, and of course I discovered he was the very person I had politely told that I will not see.

 

I know it can be harsh to be on a lady's do-not-see list, especially when you haven't even met. But to be decietful and try to "sneak" in to see her by means of pretending to be someone else is just wrong.

 

And before you think this wasn't a Cerb reader, he is. He mentioned that all the information he could find on my location was that it said "10 mins from downtown). That is solely on Cerb.

 

So, while it may be a bit of a snub, or leave you feeling shot down, please respect a lady when she says she will not see you. There are many lovely ladies out there, and not all of the ladies will be comfortable with or willing to provide what you are seeking. If a lady - for whatever reason - chooses not to see you, think of it not as being shot down, but as getting that much closer to finding the lady that you will share great chemistry and fond memories with.

Posted via Mobile Device

[Ava Foxx 1747]

This has happened to me once before and I was not pleased at all when I opened my door to see the client. I had met him once before and he was overly aggressive and I did not enjoy his company at all. After a few failed attempts to book with me again, he finally stopped trying and I took it to mean that he got the hint. No such luck. He opened a new email and proceeded to email me to book an appointment. He was VERY deceptive, acting like we had never communicated via email before, let alone met! He clearly knew what he was doing. Not cool at all.

[masterowls 249]

I recently told someone via e-mail that they were not the kind of client I wished to see. A week later, he calls me and books an appointment. Of course I didn't know it was him. He shows up 20 minutes late, tries to underpay me, and of course I discovered he was the very person I had politely told that I will not see.

 

I know it can be harsh to be on a lady's do-not-see list, especially when you haven't even met. But to be decietful and try to "sneak" in to see her by means of pretending to be someone else is just wrong.

 

And before you think this wasn't a Cerb reader, he is. He mentioned that all the information he could find on my location was that it said "10 mins from downtown). That is solely on Cerb.

 

So, while it may be a bit of a snub, or leave you feeling shot down, please respect a lady when she says she will not see you. There are many lovely ladies out there, and not all of the ladies will be comfortable with or willing to provide what you are seeking. If a lady - for whatever reason - chooses not to see you, think of it not as being shot down, but as getting that much closer to finding the lady that you will share great chemistry and fond memories with.

Posted via Mobile Device

I've been shot down by a lot of girls who are for whatever reason not ok seeing disabled men. I was somewhat hurt/disappointed until I realized 2 things about it... 1. I probably wouldn't have really had great fun with them anyhow if they're that uncomfortable, and 2. by them turning me away, some more tastefully than others btw, they forced me to keep looking and find Allie... Allie still rocks my world in ways I didn't think were possible 3 years later, so the way I figure it, they all did me a huge favor turning me down.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Some men don't take rejection very well. There are people that have emailed me and I knew I didn't want to see them (and usually for a good reason) so their emails were ignored. It may have been something they said, a sexually explicit email etc and I've always had this as a disclaimer on my website in the past so it was justified. There are ways to ask things without being rude or crude.

 

I think by telling them that they're not the kind of client you want to see might push them to the edge a bit since a guy's ego is feeling bruised even if they said or did something stupid. The way I figure it is if a potential or existing client says or does something stupid, they are off my list and sometimes they won't even know it until it's too late. If you don't respond to them they don't know what's going on, so these types of deceptive practices most likely will not occur.

 

My philosophy is that I don't have time for drama and games so if a client did something dumb, too bad. They should have known better. I will ignore them. I've had a few clients play games in the past and while I may have been forgiving in the past because they were a good regular, I won't give them a chance now. And when they want to see me again, I tell them I'm busy. And this could be the truth. I will not see them for the sake of money because in the end it's not worth my trouble. Usually they always end up meeting someone else without all the bs of them pretending to be someone else.

[PistolPete 61421]

I know it can be harsh to be on a lady's do-not-see list, especially when you haven't even met. But to be decietful and try to "sneak" in to see her by means of pretending to be someone else is just wrong.

 

And before you think this wasn't a Cerb reader, he is. He mentioned that all the information he could find on my location was that it said "10 mins from downtown). That is solely on Cerb.

 

Being deceitful and sneaky is just wrong, it just gets the individual in further issues here and perhaps with other ladies.

 

Sorry Lindsay that this happened to a very well spoken,intelligent,sexy lady that you are.I don't think you were being harsh on a lady's "do-not-see-list" after all it is your prerogative who you see,and don't see.

(I'm not throwing pennies this time :) )

[masterowls 249]

This has happened to me once before and I was not pleased at all when I opened my door to see the client. I had met him once before and he was overly aggressive and I did not enjoy his company at all. After a few failed attempts to book with me again, he finally stopped trying and I took it to mean that he got the hint. No such luck. He opened a new email and proceeded to email me to book an appointment. He was VERY deceptive, acting like we had never communicated via email before, let alone met! He clearly knew what he was doing. Not cool at all.

I hope you sent the jerk packing... preferrably with sore balls for wasting your time.

[Kate von Katz 49953]

Masterowls, I am both surprised and a little mad that a lady would turn you down because of physical disability. But you are absolutely right, you probably wouldn't have fun with them anyways.

 

I am very professional with clients, and I am careful to maintain professionalism when I let someone know I am not comfortable seeing them. But yes, egos play a major role in human behavior and some people don't like being told "no", even if it was put in the nicest (but firm) way.

 

It's like so many of us all agree upon - chemistry is very important to the overall experience of spending time together. We don't all have good chemistry, and trying to force it is always disasterous. Ditto for personal boundaries/services offered. And deciet - in any form that is not expressly for the purpose of discretion - is not conducive to making me change my mind about seeing someone. Oh well, c'est la vie.

 

And Pete, thanks for not flinging pennies! LOL! Besides, your thoughts are surely worth more than two cents!

Posted via Mobile Device

[Guest ***nsut***jr]

As a newcomer here I find that type of behavior very disturbing. From what I see here most of the Cerb members eventually get to know and respect each other in some shape or form. The Mod and the community have made this a beautiful place to visit and participate and hopefully I will be accepted and respected.

To deceive and misrepresent yourself to any of the ladies as to your intentions is plain wrong. As you said "getting that much closer to finding the lady that you will share great chemistry and fond memories with" is what I think this place is all about.

Sorry to hear that there are those type of people around and good for you, Lindsay, for standing your ground.

 

JSJ

[777flyer 1612]

Hi Lindsay

 

I am sorry that this happened to you, you are certainly one of the most intelligent and sexiest lady on the board.......and not deserving of this type of behaviour.

 

it never ceases to amaze me, just how crass some people can be, and how they lack the common sense to be decent........ Just annoying....

 

Finally, of course you have the absolute right to see who ever it is you want to see and do not need to give anyone a reason for not seeing them....ever.....

 

Promise me though, when i do see you, that you can talk with all those big words you normally do......so i can google while you are beside me......it's kind of becoming a fetish of mine......... ;-)

 

SNK

[Kate von Katz 49953]

Okay, so I should go buy an updated Oxford Dictionary? That'll be our foreplay LOL!!

 

And you realize this brings a whole new meaning to using "Google" as a verb!

Posted via Mobile Device

[Guest M***ell***A]

I had a very similar issue happen once from a member. It was someone I had met before so luckily I recognized his voice when he called to confirm and get my address and I was able to avoid the very awkward and unpleasant scene that could have occurred had he been at my door...

 

I really don't understand the mentality on this one. I mean, what outcome could someone possibly be hoping for? That I wont notice? That I forgot? That I'm desperate and will see you anyway since you are there? That I will be so charmed and smitten when I see you that I'll instantly change my mind??? Seriously, what kind of fun could someone expect to have with a lady that did/does not want to see you anyway?

 

A lady's reasons for not seeing someone are her own and her right. The initial reason is almost irrelevant to me at that point though, the fact that someone would be deceptive is the biggest reason I wouldn't want to see them! We ladies put ourselves at great physical and emotional risk every time we open the door (especially to someone new) no matter what screening or reference system we use and we need to be able to trust on some level. What kind of trust does behaviour like that breed?

 

And a little something I have learned over the years: Being a CERB reader or even a CERB member, IMHO, does not automatically make anyone anything other than better informed. I have met some of my best and favourite visitors from here and I have also met some of my worst...

[Dorinda Bloom 44036]

What a very kind way of seeing and saying this.

[Lexy Grace 103697]

I recently told someone via e-mail that they were not the kind of client I wished to see. A week later, he calls me and books an appointment. Of course I didn't know it was him. He shows up 20 minutes late, tries to underpay me, and of course I discovered he was the very person I had politely told that I will not see.

 

I know it can be harsh to be on a lady's do-not-see list, especially when you haven't even met. But to be decietful and try to "sneak" in to see her by means of pretending to be someone else is just wrong.

 

And before you think this wasn't a Cerb reader, he is. He mentioned that all the information he could find on my location was that it said "10 mins from downtown). That is solely on Cerb.

 

So, while it may be a bit of a snub, or leave you feeling shot down, please respect a lady when she says she will not see you. There are many lovely ladies out there, and not all of the ladies will be comfortable with or willing to provide what you are seeking. If a lady - for whatever reason - chooses not to see you, think of it not as being shot down, but as getting that much closer to finding the lady that you will share great chemistry and fond memories with.

Posted via Mobile Device

I feel for you and sometimes for me it is hard to turn someone away but our/my safety comes first and our instincts guide us very well.

 

I have been dealing with something very similar. First he was a "no show" and contacted me again with some BS. Now he is texting from different numbers and demanding me to call him.

 

First of all that is no way to speak to a lady, which ever form it may be "call me now" sorry but I don't think so. I'm a lady and I demand to be treated with respect and approached in a proper manner.

 

Additional Comments:

I've been shot down by a lot of girls who are for whatever reason not ok seeing disabled men. I was somewhat hurt/disappointed until I realized 2 things about it... 1. I probably wouldn't have really had great fun with them anyhow if they're that uncomfortable, and 2. by them turning me away, some more tastefully than others btw, they forced me to keep looking and find Allie... Allie still rocks my world in ways I didn't think were possible 3 years later, so the way I figure it, they all did me a huge favor turning me down.

It is disappointing to hear this but I guess eveyone has their own comfort level and hopefully you were told so in a polite manner. In the end it worked out for you.

Myself I see gentlemen who are in wheel chairs and are very comfortable with doing so as I have family members that are in chairs. My only thing is my current in call location does not accommodate wheel chairs for now so I usually go to see them. That is about to change, hopefully very soon.

[Kate von Katz 49953]

I agree fully on demanding you call/text them. That kind of self-entitled behavior is exactly what will get you a one-way ticket to my blacklist! Yeah, I'm fussy with who I see. I like to enjoy my time with clients, and if an e-mail or phone call rubs me the wrong way, I won't see you. Moreso when they make demands of me. It is just another form that disrespect takes. And homey don't play that! *whacks idiots on the head with a stuffed sock*

(In Living Colour reference)

Posted via Mobile Device

[Lexy Grace 103697]

I agree fully on demanding you call/text them. That kind of self-entitled behavior is exactly what will get you a one-way ticket to my blacklist! Yeah, I'm fussy with who I see. I like to enjoy my time with clients, and if an e-mail or phone call rubs me the wrong way, I won't see you. Moreso when they make demands of me. It is just another form that disrespect takes. And homey don't play that! *whacks idiots on the head with a stuffed sock*

(In Living Colour reference)

Posted via Mobile Device

I hear ya Lindsay. I don't know you but I like your style and your awesome.

[Lowdark 5613]

The behaviour of this person is nothing short of disgusting. To disrespect a lady's wishes so blatantly and without shame and to resort to lying is beneath low. Michelle brings up excellent points. A lady reserves the right to refuse specific individuals based on a number of criteria, including their safety. And like she also said, what did this person think was going to happen when you opened the door? Automatic forgiveness? I have had a handful of appointments fall apart at the last second (often for unavoidable reasons) and in one case, I believe the lady decided against the appointment. Sure, I was disappointed but would never consider using lies or deception. Lindsay, I'm truly sorry you had to suffer this sort of stupidity and the same goes for all the other ladies on CERB. I truly can't fathom this sort of malicous idiocy. I think it goes without saying that this individual (and I'm being very selective with my words when referring to this individual) has surrendered the right to see any of the ladies here. News tip, friend, their time is a privilige that should be treasured and never taken for granted.

[wendigo 687]

Lindsay, you were absolutely justified in refusing to see the individual in question, his behaviour once he arrived at your place more than amply confirmed that he was not the sort of client that you would see.

 

I had a question though: is it possible to ever get off a provider's do not see list? An interesting discussion arose on another board, though it involved a second chance three years later which turned out much better than expected.

[VedaSloan 119179]

This has happened to me once before and I was not pleased at all when I opened my door to see the client. I had met him once before and he was overly aggressive and I did not enjoy his company at all. After a few failed attempts to book with me again, he finally stopped trying and I took it to mean that he got the hint. No such luck. He opened a new email and proceeded to email me to book an appointment. He was VERY deceptive, acting like we had never communicated via email before, let alone met! He clearly knew what he was doing. Not cool at all.

 

 

Did he think he was going to arrive and you wouldn't recognize him? Ugh.

 

I've had it happen a few times that I've refused potential clients and they've gotten verbally abusive with me, only proving that I'd made the right choice. I mean honestly, if I turn you down and you start insulting me, do you really think that's going to make me change my mind? If you can't respect my "no" via email or over the phone, how likely are you to respect my boundaries and wishes in real life? Not bloody likely.

[Ava Foxx 1747]

Did he think he was going to arrive and you wouldn't recognize him? Ugh.

 

I know, right??!!

 

I've had it happen a few times that I've refused potential clients and they've gotten verbally abusive with me, only proving that I'd made the right choice. I mean honestly, if I turn you down and you start insulting me, do you really think that's going to make me change my mind? If you can't respect my "no" via email or over the phone, how likely are you to respect my boundaries and wishes in real life? Not bloody likely.

 

EXACTLY!!!

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I had a question though: is it possible to ever get off a provider's do not see list? An interesting discussion arose on another board, though it involved a second chance three years later which turned out much better than expected.

 

If a client did something that was unforgiveable or did something out of line, I think he's off her list forever. A few years ago I had someone say something to me really, really hurtful after they were out of line by wanting certain services that I do not offer which explains why they said what they said. After firing off a very angry email to him and even though he was apologetic, imo it wasn't sincere and all they did was cry on another board about how no other SP would see them. This guy I knew for years. Now, I've heard a lot of things in this line of work but nothing that was so low and I do have my standards. Nothing he could say to me back then or even now would make me change my mind. He showed his true colors that day and that was that. How could I see him after he said that to me? What would make me change my mind?

 

Point being, you have to do something really bad to get on the shit list with these girls. Maybe others situations are forgiveable but it all depends on the SP. As for myself, I'm not so forgiving in serious situations and I've also changed over the years and do not put up with much bs anymore. Life is too short and there are other clients waiting in the wings who may be nicer. Money is not a factor.

[GHT 798]

I think its freaking crazy to try seeing a lady who doesn't want to see you. Great chemistry makes for a great experience and you can't possibly have good chemistry in this situation. What are these guys thinking?

 

If you ever found yourself in a situation where you really wanted to see a lady but she didn't want to see you because of something you did (its never happened to me). I would try to sincerely apologize and beg forgiveness. If she takes you back, great, if not move on, its just not meant to be.

 

GHT

[sexy bbw vero 425]

What are these guys thinking?

 

 

GHT

 

Lolllll That's the point ... Obviously they are not thinking! They only want to :jackoff: ... and sometimes when we say no to someone ... he just want more to meet us ... and then he call with an other # and he change his voice ... they try so much thing ... I have lot of experience with guys like that, because in Montreal, I block 5 or 6 persons every weeks. Soooo fun ... what a nice city!

 

Girl's of Ottawa ... you're so lucky to deal with all of this gentleman here ...

In 2 years now or so ... I have only blocked 2 persons here. Now you know why I always come back in the capital city :mrgreen:

[Kate von Katz 49953]

Yes chemistry is extremely important in bringing a playdate to "the next level". Afterall, in my mind GFExperience is more a way of being with each other than services rendered. Otherwise it would be GFService. That's how I look at it, anyway. Better to end something sooner, than suffer through what is sure to be an awkward encounter.

Posted via Mobile Device

[masterowls 249]

Masterowls, I am both surprised and a little mad that a lady would turn you down because of physical disability. But you are absolutely right, you probably wouldn't have fun with them anyways.

 

I am very professional with clients, and I am careful to maintain professionalism when I let someone know I am not comfortable seeing them. But yes, egos play a major role in human behavior and some people don't like being told "no", even if it was put in the nicest (but firm) way.

 

It's like so many of us all agree upon - chemistry is very important to the overall experience of spending time together. We don't all have good chemistry, and trying to force it is always disasterous. Ditto for personal boundaries/services offered. And deciet - in any form that is not expressly for the purpose of discretion - is not conducive to making me change my mind about seeing someone. Oh well, c'est la vie.

 

And Pete, thanks for not flinging pennies! LOL! Besides, your thoughts are surely worth more than two cents!

Posted via Mobile Device

 

Lindsay,

it's actually much more common than most people think for an escort/service provider to refuse to see disabled clients. I personally know of six potential clients in Vancouver who gave up on the idea of being with a service , simply because they were tired of calling girls, only to be turned down based on their disability. Fortunately I was able to put them in touch with a few good providers who don't have a problem with seeing disabled clients, and they are now very happy clients. I've even had a provider ask me if it's possible to catch cerebral palsy by having sex with a client who has it. Just for those of you reading this who don't know the answer is ABSOLUTELY not. There are exactly 2 ways to get cerebral palsy, first and most common is birth injury of some kind. Second is severe brain trauma due to a accident. This is not common as it requires some pretty serious injury, and some body who is injured accidentally that badly would probably die first.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Once upon a time, in a far far land, I was a different kind of service provider if you get my drift. The only reason I can see for not meeting with someone with a disability would be because of my own affliction. I cannot be comfortable providing an outcall. I did meet the sweetest of gents one time who could not climb the stairs at my place so we had a ton of fun on the couch and on a big mountain of pillows! :)