Anyone else think this was rude?

[Guest M**th**d]

Re: Hi!

I don't chat. Book me or don't.. but this is boring.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meathead

Hey ****** how is your night going?

 

MH

 

 

.....................................................................--

this was a response I got from a girl whose name I blocked out to protect her identity. I am a shy person and often I try to chat with a girl before just booking. I understand some girls dont like or dont want to chat with us and just want our money, but don't you think that conveying this message in a response could have been done in a much better way? I was really shocked....and I apologized for "boring" her.

 

input welcome

 

MH

 

Additional Comments:

that's baloney. You can easily get to know what I'm like by viewing my posts and *********. How you get to know me is talk to me. Asking me an open ended question means you expect me to entertain you. Here's how this works... you do your research. You book the girl of your choice and then you get to know her better in person.

You call it rude.. I call it cutting out time wasters.

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meathead

Wow!! that was kind of rude. I am sorry for "boring" you. I am a little shy to get the ball rolling and was merely trying to get to know what you were like.. to decide if/when to book with you.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by ****** ****

I don't chat. Book me or don't.. but this is boring.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meathead

Hey ****** how is your night going?

 

MH

 

 

 

..................................................................-

 

 

ouch!!

MH

[Kate von Katz 49953]

I have to agree, most ladies provide ample information for a prospective client. Chatting without booking is generally not something ladies do.

Posted via Mobile Device

 

Additional Comments:

 

Posted via Mobile Device

[Guest *b*y]

Yes that was rude. Your question didn't justify her harsh response. After all, when in a chat room, she had to expect someone to want to chat with her. Why else would she have been in the chat room in the first place?

[Guest M**th**d]

I can accept that. However I really feel as though it could have been handled in a much more polite manner.

 

MH

 

PS.

 

however. This is the first time I have ever been told that I was in the wrong by trying to say hi to girls. I have chatted with many of the girls on here and never been treated like this. And, yes, I actually have booked with girls on here too..not just chatted. I am sorry if it is boring to say hello and get the ball rolling. Had her response been anything other than what it was I was ready and willing to book with her for tonight.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Personally, I like to chat to get to know someone first but not all ladies are alike!

[The General 11309]

I guess it depends on where you made contact. Sounds like the chat room, so I think if the lady is hanging around, then you should be able to chat and she should be willing to. If you phoned and contacted her, then you should not be into the small talk, only need to get information, but often that is provided elsewhere.

 

So, if in chat when this happened, the lady needs to work on her manners.

[HarveySpecter 1908]

The defn8ly a message from somebody that was in a bad mood at the time.

 

Especially if she does not accept texts from people and must have stated that on her ad or was just really tensed up the moment you texted her.

 

Regardless she shouldnt have acted the way she did. Even if as she claims, to be quite popular or expects her clients to have done their research. Well research must have led someone to "Ok, let me give this lady a text and start off by finding out if she is doing fine tonight and maybe things can go on from there"

[40ishsxaddict 203]

Glad you were classy enough to block out her name, but i get where you're coming from... Some ladies just want the cash w/out putting in any effort, obviously if you're looking for a bit more of a connection, then shes not the sp you want. Maybe you don't have tons of disposible income to play with, and you are looking for a nice time as well as the sex. Sounds like you just weren't each others type...which is great then you didnt waste your money...She also, may have just been having a bad day, as we all do...I understand they dont want to 'waste time', maybe their phone rings off the hook regularly... but she's the one missing out on a potential regular customer by not being pleasant, and when the phone stops ringing off the hook, shes going to wonder where all the guys went!... There's a lot more to this business in the long run, than a great body and sex... just my thoughts ...take em or leave em...

[Guest M**th**d]

In her defence she was not in a chat room...it was a PM.

 

 

Yes that was rude. Your question didn't justify her harsh response. After all, when in a chat room, she had to expect someone to want to chat with her. Why else would she have been in the chat room in the first place?

 

Additional Comments:

Contacted her by PM. I guess what annoyed her was that I asked her the same thing the night before. I ended up not hearing back for a while so i went out and did something else. She did respond to me with a short answer but with no indication that this was not a good way of starting a conversation with her.

 

I guess it depends on where you made contact. Sounds like the chat room, so I think if the lady is hanging around, then you should be able to chat and she should be willing to. If you phoned and contacted her, then you should not be into the small talk, only need to get information, but often that is provided elsewhere.

 

So, if in chat when this happened, the lady needs to work on her manners.

[Guest *b*y]

I understand the argument that not all ladies want to chat, that is fine and understandable. I don't think even Meathead has a problem with that. The issue is with the way the response was formulated. It was unnecessarily harsh. The same message could have been conveyed in a more respectful and a less aggressive way, that's all.

 

So, let's not have a double standard here. I'm sure that if one of the hobbyists used the same tone with one of the ladies, none of us would have found it appropriate.

 

It's not about the message- it's about how you convey it.

[EmilyRushton 253372]

Personally, if you want to get to know the lady before a visit an email is usually best.

I for one like to get to know who I am visiting with prior to meeting ,but via email only.

 

You may want to rethink your approach....

[The General 11309]

Little tougher to chat via PM. If you are PMing, you might want to get a bit more to the pertient information. So, a bit less clear in my view about how rude, but still a little class might be added, but still could have made her point with some politeness.

[Victoria Banks 21899]

This sounds like she was just having a bad day. :-(

[Guest M**th**d]

I agree and I realized that we were just not each other's type. Originally i was upset but I apologized to her and explained I never intended to upset her, bore her or waste her time. I just hope she accepts my apology.

 

Glad you were classy enough to block out her name, but i get where you're coming from... Some ladies just want the cash w/out putting in any effort, obviously if you're looking for a bit more of a connection, then shes not the sp you want. Maybe you don't have tons of disposible income to play with, and you are looking for a nice time as well as the sex. Sounds like you just weren't each others type...which is great then you didnt waste your money...She also, may have just been having a bad day, as we all do...I understand they dont want to 'waste time', maybe their phone rings off the hook regularly... but she's the one missing out on a potential regular customer by not being pleasant, and when the phone stops ringing off the hook, shes going to wonder where all the guys went!... There's a lot more to this business in the long run, than a great body and sex... just my thoughts ...take em or leave em...

 

Additional Comments:

Thank you. Your input is valuable, and I will apply in it the future. I understand now that I need to put a little more into my messages than hi how are you. Honestly...I thought it would have been rude to go straight to the point. Actually a long time ago I had a convo on here with a girl that I have chatted with for a long time and have met with as well. She told me she felt it was so rude when guys would contact her and get straight to the point without asking how they were. She said it was disrespectful to not ask how she was before asking how much she charges or if she was available. I really did not intend to come across in a rude way when i contacted her.

 

MH

 

Personally, if you want to get to know the lady before a visit an email is usually best.

I for one like to get to know who I am visiting with prior to meeting ,but via email only.

 

You may want to rethink your approach....

[Kate von Katz 49953]

This was a chat room? Woops! Then yes, the purpose of a chat room is to chat. I thought it was over the phone :-S

Posted via Mobile Device

[Guest M**th**d]

No not a chat room. She did state that she does not go into chat rooms or enjoy small talk in PMs because she is not into that. I only wish I knew before so this whole thing could have been avoided.

 

This was a chat room? Woops! Then yes, the purpose of a chat room is to chat. I thought it was over the phone :-S

Posted via Mobile Device

[sexy bbw vero 425]

I'm sorry but if I was that girl I wouldn't even answer to your first message ...

yeah maybe it is rude ... I understand your point of view but still ... do you know how much time waisters that we go through every day on the phone or by email?

 

And + ... Your question sounds like : did you had lot of clients before me? If the girl say : I had a good night ... Would you please tell me what you will have in mind after that answer?!!!

 

I got this question often and I don't answer ... what happend most part of the time ... the guy write me back again with a more precised message for booking!

 

I know we are rough sometimes with people who don't deserve it ... but we just try to give our best in a so hard world ... and yes we expect that you can understand and just wait the encounter to make some smooth conversation ;)

[Guest M**th**d]

I appreciate everyone's feedback. I have learned from this and I am sincerely sorry to the lady I have been referring to. I guess on the lighter side of things....What worked for Joey Tribbiani (friends), "How you doin?".....will definitely not work on here. LOL. I really hope I have not come across in a way that resembles my nickname. I am not really a meathead, i just thought it was a funny name. Unlike the girls on here, us guys dont have stage names. Just cheaky names that we use to log on so that no one from our real life recognizes us on here. Once again thanks again for the input, it will not be wasted in the future.

 

MH

 

PS. I do not want to receive PM's asking who it was. My goal was not to embarass her or hurt her reputation. I just wanted to allow others to provide different angles or perspectives for both her and I to see this from, should this happen again in the future!!

 

Additional Comments:

I can see now how you could have taken that question the way you did. Honestly it was just an icebreaker. My next question was going to be about her availability for tonight. Nothing undermined or maliciously intended by asking how her night was going. As I stated in a previous post, I had been informed by another girl from here that it was rude to not ask how someone is before asking them anything else. I realize now that everyone has a different way of seeing things and it is very hard to convey emotion, or intent through text when asking questions or contacting girls on here. In the future I will definitely change the ways I interact with the girls on here. It was never my intent to upset anyone.

 

MH

 

I'm sorry but if I was that girl I wouldn't even answer to your first message ...

yeah maybe it is rude ... I understand your point of view but still ... do you know how much time waisters that we go through every day on the phone or by email?

 

And + ... Your question sounds like : did you had lot of clients before me? If the girl say : I had a good night ... Would you please tell me what you will have in mind after that answer?!!!

 

I got this question often and I don't answer ... what happend most part of the time ... the guy write me back again with a more precised message for booking!

 

I know we are rough sometimes with people who don't deserve it ... but we just try to give our best in a so hard world ... and yes we expect that you can understand and just wait the encounter to make some smooth conversation ;)

[VedaSloan 119179]

First and foremost, how the lady in question responded to your PM was totally rude and could have been handled much better.

 

That being said, if you were interested in getting to know her better to decide whether you want to book or not, it may have been better to be upfront about it, rather than just ask how her night was going.

 

Those kind of PM's come off as "time-wasting" because it seems as though you simply want to chat, but have no intention of booking.

 

If you had PM'd me asking how my night was going, I probably wouldn't have even replied.

[canuckhooker 19203]

Rude doesn't begin to describe it. It seems the person in question forgets that the "S" in SP is service. I don't know many people who would have much success in any service industry with that attitude.

 

Not to say she had to reply, she could have ignored the PM or replied in a polite manner. That response was rude and arrogant. Probably a good indication of a person to avoid, and quite probably an indication of less than stellar service.

[Kyra.Graves 23779]

I think the bigger issue here is that you didn't use PM effectively which can irritate a lot of users, not just ladies in this industry but in all businesses that use social networking.

Private Message is a lot like email, it isn't a form of instant communication but rather should be used much like writing a letter. When you write a PM you should include a greeting, a brief introduction (provided you have not communicated before), the purpose of your message and a closing.

The message you sent had no clear no purpose so the person responding did not know it's intent and effectively had no idea how to respond or what the appropriate response would be.

 

If you had said "Hi Kyra, My name is Wally and I was reading your post on Widgets, I thought it was rather funny. I am a shy guy and I wanted to take a moment to introduce myself. I live in Nantucket I own a large bucket factory which brings me to Toronto regularly. I hope to hear from you soon. Kind regards, Wally" I would know who you are, what the purpose of the letter is and I would be able to start a conversation. At this point you will find out if you are contacting the type of lady that interests you as you seek someone that you can connect with in advance (via conversation), there is nothing wrong with either styles of companion but they are different and you can choose which suits you best. If she does not wish to connect via conversation she will let you know and you can seek out someone that will, if she prefers the connection then you can carry on with the conversation and arrange a date when you feel comfortable.

 

The point is to ensure that you are using PM, email, text, etc. effectively, failure to do so and the message will be lost no matter what lady you contact. I very much enjoy a conversation with my companions must admit that had you sent me the same one line PM you sent her I would likely wait 3-5 days to respond then would reply with the word "good" or "pleasing". It should be noted I would reply without quoting the original message. ;)

[Guest ***nsut***jr]

Maybe I am posting this in the wrong thread but I will take the chance.

 

This is a pretty interesting thread because the answer is still not clear.

I will give you my take and hope the daggers don't fly.

This is a new world for me. I may have posted that previously. I am new to this community and it's concepts. There are many questions and opinions on how to behave and how to interact with the ladies.

 

I have taken a more systematic approach to which ladies I have an interest in and I have PM'd them on several occasions. Maybe I am a shrewd researcher, but each of these ladies has responded in a most positive manner that has given me every reason to take that contact further. Maybe it's because I am not fixated on the physical aspect of the encounter that I am not trying to contact as many ladies as I could. I would prefer to have a bit of interaction before deciding that I want to meet and this is as much for her benefit as mine. If there is no synergy what would be the use? I am also not looking for a "special of the week" so if I don't like the rate or can't afford it I won't waste anyone's time with a PM or email.

 

Above all I have a real respect for these ladies and when the time is right the encounter will be an unbelievable experience because it is something we both are looking forward to.

 

So if I PM you that means that I am interested and attracted to some attribute you have shown on the board. It could be that you are a gorgeous gal or maybe something more that has got my attention.

 

JSJ

[Guest M**th**d]

Thanks for your contribution Kyra! I agree. I am horrible at "break the ice" communication. I may have contacted a number of you girls out there in a similar way....in the past. Please know that I had no intention of being rude, and I had not realized that I was using PM incorrectly. Thank you for embarassing me in this thread by adding that I have also contacted you in the same way. I left the girl's info annonymous to save her embarassment and protect her from being singled out. I would have appreciated if you had not included that line in your post but you did and that's fine we are free to speak our minds here right? However, as indicated earlier, I will do my best to contact girls in the future in a much more effective manner. I really do hope that this thread has not hindered any chance I have had with booking with any of the ladies on this board. I am taking this very seriously and do appreciate all the feedback. LOL even the stuff that embarasses me a little by pointing out I have made this mistake more than once. (today being the first day I have been told of these mistakes)

 

Thanks,

 

MH

[Ava Foxx 1747]

Thank you for embarassing me in this thread by adding that I have also contacted you in the same way.

 

 

Where in her post does she state that you contacted her in the same fashion? Perhaps you misread? I don't know Kyra but publicly embarrassing someone does not strike me as her style at all.

[wendigo 687]

How the provider responded to your PM was less than ideal. I guess one takeaway lesson is that the mode of communication matters. If it was in the chat room, a casual "how's it going?" isn't a bad icebreaker at all. But think of the PM from the provider's point of view - she probably gets way too many of the throw-away one-liners on a daily basis, 99% of them from time wasters (even though it was not your intention). If you want to get to know the provider better, I think Kyra's polite introduction approach in a PM is appropriate.