Anyone else think this was rude?

[Guest M**th**d]

It was there she must have edited her statement. It's okay I wasnt upset again the way text works it was hard to show that i typed that with a smile on my face thinking it was funny that she pointed out another one of my failures. LOL.

 

 

Where in her post does she state that you contacted her in the same fashion? Perhaps you misread? I don't know Kyra but publicly embarrassing someone does not strike me as her style at all.

 

Additional Comments:

I can't agree with you more, i also agree with Kyra. I just made that comment because in her original post she had mentioned that i contacted her the same way. She saw my reply and edited her post. I was not insulted and I hope I have not insulted her.

 

 

How the provider responded to your PM was less than ideal. I guess one takeaway lesson is that the mode of communication matters. If it was in the chat room, a casual "how's it going?" isn't a bad icebreaker at all. But think of the PM from the provider's point of view - she probably gets way too many of the throw-away one-liners on a daily basis, 99% of them from time wasters (even though it was not your intention). If you want to get to know the provider better, I think Kyra's polite introduction approach in a PM is appropriate.

 

 

On a final note I am going to add. This was not the first time I have contacted her before. Yes I asked her the same question yesterday. However, I have talked to her through PM many times before. I have asked questions and about her availabilty and rates before and complimented her on her pics. I have even expressed interest in meeting her at some point in the future. I just realized this now...which is why i never mentioned it at the beginning. So really since we had been through all that before a little "hi how ya doing" or "how is your night going?" to start things off again shouldnt have been taken negatively. I am not trying to make any enemies or point fingers or place blame. I was really shocked at the response I got so I started a thread to see if it was justified. By some it was and others it wasnt. That's the way things go in life sometimes. I am really sorry to anyone offended or anyone that feels they need to attack me for starting a discussion about something. I guess I know now that many SP's are going to blacklist me...which sucks because I really dont feel like I have done anything that horrible. I made a mistake, and I brought it to discussion to see what things could have been done differently on my end and on the SP's. I have stated that I will try to improve and I will do that.

 

Thanks to everyone,

MH

[Ava Foxx 1747]

It was there she must have edited her statement.

 

Ah, I see :). *sneaky, sneaky Kyra* Lol, I'm just kidding ;)

[Carrie Moon 68826]

See.... you can totally carry on a conversation!

 

Here's my take on the "what's up" guys.. or "how is your day going"? guys.

 

My issue is that when someone saysjust hi.. or what's up.. they are just being completely lazy.

 

It's not shy.. I can totally handle shy. I get shy guys all the time. If you were too shy you wouldn't have bothered emailing to begin with..

 

It's also correct that it's nice to say hi, how are you doing? But not as a complete message. It's a greeting.. you could have simply asked in the same message if I she were available and if you could book.

[Guest M**th**d]

Duely noted!! I will!!

 

 

......."so ummm....Carrie?.....how is your night going? I have seen your profile online for a very long time and have wanted to get in touch. I am just wondering if there is any chance that you would be available sometime this evening?".....by the way I like long walks on the beach, and.....lol just kidding about that last thing there....anyways dont worry everyone I am working on being a whole new me in the future. i think for now I will just let things blow over a bit and take a break!

 

again thanks for all of your perspectives on this issue!!

 

MH

[Rounding Third 9568]

As stated before this is an interesting thread and there is no clear cut answer. Here is a slightly different slant on the issue. Generally, to introduce myself I communicate by email. As well, I usually send a thank-you email after the encounter. Even thought I am naturally shy like MH, I can easily find myself getting very wordy in my emails to providers. That is ironic because I am not normally wordy, but remember all of this hobbying is pretty emotional stuff. So I can understand why providers, on receiving a wordy email, may feel I am trying to cheat by coxing them into conversation outside of our encounters. it is not really my intention, Usually I can tell from the providers response if I have gone too far.

 

But it is an interesting question - are thank-you emails or any other messages outside of booking an engagement ok?

[Kyra.Graves 23779]

It was there she must have edited her statement. It's okay I wasnt upset again the way text works it was hard to show that i typed that with a smile on my face thinking it was funny that she pointed out another one of my failures. LOL.

 

 

Additional Comments:

I can't agree with you more, i also agree with Kyra. I just made that comment because in her original post she had mentioned that i contacted her the same way. She saw my reply and edited her post. I was not insulted and I hope I have not insulted her.

 

 

 

Meathead,

 

I just logged back on now, I did not edit my post. The post was not meant to embarrass you but rather I was hoping it might be helpful for the next time you might contact another lady on the board.

I don't recall you ever contacting me via PM nor have you posted on my guestbook. It's possible you are confusing me with another lady on the board.

I don't wish to get into any debate over such a simple comment however I used myself as an example in the post in order to not single out any other lady on the board, it's common courtesy on the boards when making a post to use yourself as an example rather than another board member (unless it involves kleenex and antlerman).

 

.Kyra

[Carrie Moon 68826]

by the way I like long walks on the beach, MH

 

I like long walks on the beach too!

 

But it is an interesting question - are thank-you emails or any other messages outside of booking an engagement ok?

 

I personally love a thank you email followup to the appt. Let's me know he/she is still thinking about the encounter fondly and I've made their day/week what have you.

[Guest M**th**d]

Meathead,

 

I just logged back on now, I did not edit my post. The post was not meant to embarrass you but rather I was hoping it might be helpful for the next time you might contact another lady on the board.

I don't recall you ever contacting me via PM nor have you posted on my guestbook. It's possible you are confusing me with another lady on the board.

I don't wish to get into any debate over such a simple comment however I used myself as an example in the post in order to not single out any other lady on the board, it's common courtesy on the boards when making a post to use yourself as an example rather than another board member (unless it involves kleenex and antlerman).

 

.Kyra

 

Well I am quite sure I didn't make it up..........but I am sick of this now. I am sorry I even brought any of this up!

[Guest s******ecan****]

Let me chime in with my thoughts. I think Kyra said it best. It comes down to how the various communication forms are best used. Many of the ladies are consantly receiving texts, emails, phone calls, PM's, not just from CERB either, many have several different sources of traffic. Using their time effeciently is a constant challenge. Time wasters (not implying you are one MH) are a constant issue.

 

Having said that I think most of us agree the response from the lady might have been worded better or just ignored.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

On a final note I am going to add. This was not the first time I have contacted her before. Yes I asked her the same question yesterday. However, I have talked to her through PM many times before. I have asked questions and about her availabilty and rates before and complimented her on her pics. I have even expressed interest in meeting her at some point in the future. I just realized this now...which is why i never mentioned it at the beginning. So really since we had been through all that before a little "hi how ya doing" or "how is your night going?" to start things off again shouldnt have been taken negatively...

MH

 

One possibility (as a general rule) ... is that all these previous communications, with no actual booking having come about, might have affected the lady's attitude this time. She may have thought to herself: "Oh oh, here comes yet another round of more of the same wasted time if I don't cut it off immediately ..."

[Guest s******ecan****]

One possibility (as a general rule) ... is that all these previous communications, with no actual booking having come about, might have affected the lady's attitude this time. She may have thought to herself: "Oh oh, here comes yet another round of more of the same wasted time if I don't cut it off immediately ..."

 

I agree this completely changes things. The lady was basically saying shit or get off the pot.

[Carrie Moon 68826]

I agree this completely changes things. The lady was basically saying shit or get off the pot.

 

 

ah.. so eloquently put.. hee hee.. I miss that saying! I'm going to start using it again.

 

One possibility (as a general rule) ... is that all these previous communications, with no actual booking having come about, might have affected the lady's attitude this time. She may have thought to herself: "Oh oh, here comes yet another round of more of the same wasted time if I don't cut it off immediately ..."

 

so in the case of time wasters.. what is a good way to respond? should we start an acronym SOGOTP?

[Guest M**th**d]

wow...once again the whole point of this thread was missed. I guess i wasn't taken seriously afterall. Well I am done with this!!

 

ah.. so eloquently put.. hee hee.. I miss that saying! I'm going to start using it again.

 

 

 

so in the case of time wasters.. what is a good way to respond? should we start an acronym SOGOTP?

[Carrie Moon 68826]

sorry MH.. I wasn't meaning that to you personally. Sorry to offend. I meant in general to time wasters.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

.. what is a good way to respond? should we start an acronym SOGOTP?

 

Maybe NTKP ("no tire-kickers please")?

[Andee 220524]

Using PM as a means of chatting can take up a lot of time, going back and forth. I have found in most cases, when approached in this manner, the person is looking to chat rather than book and it does end up being a waste of time.

 

If you ad up the time, you could be going back and forth, literally for an hour or more, for what?

 

Perhaps direct, the lady was simply saying, look at my profile, my website, if you have any questions, ask and then let me know when you'd like an appointment.

 

Period.

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

I guess it depends on where you made contact. Sounds like the chat room, so I think if the lady is hanging around, then you should be able to chat and she should be willing to. If you phoned and contacted her, then you should not be into the small talk, only need to get information, but often that is provided elsewhere.

 

So, if in chat when this happened, the lady needs to work on her manners.

 

I totally agree..if this is in chat then unless your willing to chat then why go in?

[Carrie Moon 68826]

In her defence she was not in a chat room...it was a PM.

 

It wasn't in Chat. It was in PM

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

Personally, if you want to get to know the lady before a visit an email is usually best.

I for one like to get to know who I am visiting with prior to meeting ,but via email only.

 

You may want to rethink your approach....

 

since i couldn't give you rep points{have to spread the points around} i had to type...grrrrr i hate typing...lmao...kidding...8)

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Very rude. This obviously backfired on her. I agree that having a conversation by PM can be tedious with all the going back and forth. iIthink if a guy has questions, they should be asked up front so she can answer them. She could have gotten her message across a lot better by giving you a more diplomatic response.

[Grass_Hopper 18263]

We receive about 50 pms a day. Most of them are time wasters or no-shows. I think that her way to respond was not quite adequate, but to start small talk in pms as a first contact was'nt either...

Posted via Mobile Device

[mrgreen760 37785]

Pretty cut and dried for me. After doing my due diligence, the response I receive to an inquiry decides my interest. I like to communicate with some who is willing to enagage with me. I'm in no hurry and am prepared to take the time to establish a rapport but won't continue if it's a waste of time for both of us. I appreciate and love smart and witty women and often the only way to find that out if you might be on the same page is to communicate.

 

If I'd received that kind of response I literally wouldn't have given it or the woman another thought.

 

Peace

MG

[Tulsa 130]

Hi,

 

I think the way it was done was rude yes. But, if you expect to have a drawn out conversation with an SP because you are shy, as it has happened to me many times, it takes away from us dealing with clients that actually want a booking. I personally will try in every way to make you feel comfortable before meeting you because I can understand what it is to be shy but it has to end.

 

I guess what I'm saying is the way she said it was wrong but the reasoning behind it was right.

[Guest S***dst***]

Typing has no emotion.

Chatting is quicker.

Allow me to expand.

 

Typing has no emotion, so one liners "how's it going?" is a waste of a message. Experience seems to have taught these ladies those messages are worthless; exceptions likely exist but time is money friend.

In a PM or email you have an entire canvas to fill out. Do just that.

 

"Hello my darling, my name is John Candy. I saw your add on sesame street and was intrigued by you witty writing style and sexy photos. I'm a shy guy by nature, so I'm not sure how to break the ice, but I like to get to know my mistresses before booking a first session with them."

Etc etc

How would the Mona Lisa look if only her head was on the canvas? No body, no background..nothing..not as masterful, right?

 

Conversations are quicker than emails/pm. In a chat room, "hey how's it going?" is a legitemate ice breaker. Why? The lady is right there to say, "Lonely, wanna keep me company?" and it can develop from there, back and forth within a few seconds.

 

Now, was it rude to reply in the manner chosen? IMO yes.

Was it justified for her to not want to pm back and forth one sentence at a time? IMO yes.

[Annessa 22743]

very well put Speedstick, I have to say though that being blunt and being rude sometimes are confused and I think that all the lady in question was doing was trying to explain *why* she does things this way....probably could have dealt without the "thats baloney.." part, but personally I think if she really wanted her reputation slaughtered she could have done a lot worse, lol.

 

a good point about chat being a convenient time to say "hi whats up?". sometimes I have received a couple one line messages....i didnt end up replying and if I did I would say, I'm sorry but if you have a request, fine...but I am not by my computer to answer 24/7...this is what chat is for"

 

i get one message:

 

"Hi are you around"

 

I reply saying "yes" thinking maybe hes looking for my availability

 

he replies saying: "oh hello, how are you this evening?"

 

I reply simply "good"

 

didnt hear back at all so decided to go about my evening (away from the computer) I came back later to another message that was sent 2 hours later saying "well I'm looking for an outcall and I love your pics, could we meet tonight at my place around 10pm? please let me know"

 

umm.....if you needed to make a booking why not mention it right off the bat? One liner emails IMO deserve one-liner replies. I'm not wiling to put any more effort into my messages than the client messaging me is willing to do in the first place.

 

to the OP, if you were interested in booking the lady there is no harm in telling her that you are interested...you have to realize that there are MANY guys that we deal with that only want to email back and forth and not actually book, I'm not saying you're one of those guys but I dont blame the SP for being blunt. Also its not like she did it out of the blue...you had messaged her before the same thing. she could be annoyed/having a bad day etc....but sometimes cutting to the chase is ok......

 

Think about it this way....if you handed your resume to someone you met and they called you and left you messages saying "hey, thanks for the resume, how are ya? hows your day going?" you're obviously not going to call them back right away and pour your life story out to that stranger....now if the potential boss called you back and said that they were considering hiring you but wanted to come in for a secondary interview and that was why he called....well then that would be a different story.

 

not to say its about money, but in the end our time is money and if you have a request or interest, tell us...we are quicker to reply to someone who we know is interested in us than someone who might not be interested in us at all...just the conversation

 

 

Typing has no emotion.

Chatting is quicker.

Allow me to expand.

 

Typing has no emotion, so one liners "how's it going?" is a waste of a message. Experience seems to have taught these ladies those messages are worthless; exceptions likely exist but time is money friend.

In a PM or email you have an entire canvas to fill out. Do just that.

 

"Hello my darling, my name is John Candy. I saw your add on sesame street and was intrigued by you witty writing style and sexy photos. I'm a shy guy by nature, so I'm not sure how to break the ice, but I like to get to know my mistresses before booking a first session with them."

Etc etc

How would the Mona Lisa look if only her head was on the canvas? No body, no background..nothing..not as masterful, right?

 

Conversations are quicker than emails/pm. In a chat room, "hey how's it going?" is a legitemate ice breaker. Why? The lady is right there to say, "Lonely, wanna keep me company?" and it can develop from there, back and forth within a few seconds.

 

Now, was it rude to reply in the manner chosen? IMO yes.

Was it justified for her to not want to pm back and forth one sentence at a time? IMO yes.