My Review of our One and Only ... OLD DOG !

[777flyer 1612]

For the longest time, I admired Old Dog from the shadows, but Friday the 13th seemed to finally align the stars for us…….it was to be my lucky day….

 

My review, of our lovable Old Dog…..

 

Early this morning cruising at 35,000 ft over Ottawa, my phone rang, it was Dog, he had an unexpected cancellation today, and could fit me in between 2 and 2:15…….

 

With nary a hesitation, I turned to my green co-pilot and told him to declare an emergency, I am going to dive straight down into Ottawa airport !!

 

I kept focused, and did a high speed landing on the taxiway…..quickly cutting across the grass to the terminal…..and just before I taxied to the gate, I jumped out of my seat, smacked the copilot on the back of the head, told him to stop crying, we are alive ,and to put the damn parking brakes on…..

 

I quickly grabbed a six pack from the food cart, opened the door…..activated the emergency chute and slid down……landing firmly on my feet in full stride…..

 

Looking to my right, there was Dog, just beyond the perimeter fence…sitting in his lime green 1968 Chevy Nova…engine running, I quickly hopped the fence, admiring the flames on the car……the leopard skin seat covers….and the biggest furry dice I had ever seen……all this helped dissipate my nerves……

 

Dog was a pro, and knew how to keep a first timer like me calm…small talk, endless jokes... till we got to his incall location…. I tried to ignore the line up at his door as we brushed past…..he snickered told me his Friday night incall and taco night special was always a great hit…

 

The room was as I had dreamed, a large polar bear rug in the middle of the room, the disco ball spinning, a fake fireplace, all the while the strobe light was flashing…..Barry Manilow in the background……

 

Dog then emerged from the bathroom, wearing a pair of chaps and a large cowboy hat, exactly the outfit I had asked….…. he quietly walked over to the stereo in the corner and put his 8 track of Abba’s greatest hits in…..I was in heaven…….

 

he opened a pack of extra large condoms, but assured me he was the consummate pro.....again, my nerves were quickly put to ease....

 

While what happened between Dog and I will remain between us, I do recall intense passion, non stop jokes from Dog’s mouth, the occasional bad talk, a suggestion in the middle of our session that I speak to Cato or Pistol Pete about proper etiquette…..him repeatedly asking me to smack his ass thru his chaps, and the room constantly spinning ….. while Abba blared in the background….

 

Would I repeat ? Hell ya !

 

Total damage, $250 for 15 minutes, but I must admit when you throw in the the Friday night Taco’s it was well worth the premium charge…..

 

Run, don’t walk, Dog is a gem, and it’s only a matter of time people discover his wicked evil ways……….

 

Dog.....you're a great sport....thanks for helping me get over my Friday the 13th SUPERSTITION........ ;-)

[Cato 160314]

It must have been an intense 15 minutes, flyer. LOL

And expensive, at $1000/hr. !!! I doubt I'd drop that much...Maybe for Jayme Langford, but for Dog????

But I'd be glad to provide etiquette tips any time. Just ask.

[Guest S**a*Q]

777 You rock!

I just nominated you for CERB's daily

"I-just-made-someone-almost-pee-themselves" comedy award. :D

 

I love stories and that was awesome... and awesome is all that I can describe that story as.

 

You again, rock...

Lol!

[Old Dog 179138]

Wow. There's not much to add... wow.

 

I must admit that I was pleasantly surprised when my 2 o'clock cancelled. Flyer had been pm'ing me constantly wanting to know what the RJE was all about.... not many get the full Ron Jeremy Experience.

 

I thought, "what the hell?"... the Flyer is that kind of special.

 

What could happen in 15 minutes??? Woooo hoooooo.... I am glad I had the extra pair of ass chaps.... and the ten gallon hat??? By the time we were done it was almost filled to the brim.

 

ABBA was quickly forgotten, we moved quickly to Starland Vocal Band's "Afternoon Delight"... and I must say that it certainly was.... the emergency chute and slide was not the only thing that inflated rapidly *wink*

 

You must drop by the next time you are in Ottawa... I just had the faux fur replaced in the 1976 AMC Pacer... it is to die for.... and we can experience the rumpus room with my collection of velvet Elvises (velvet Elvii??)... with the almost wood panel and the orange shag, it is a splendour to behold... and remember Saturdays are Sloppy Joe nights and I may even let you browse through my collection of Scandinavian porn on Beta!!!! Boooom chicka wow wow!!!!

[antlerman 17064]

You guys have out done your selves on this one.....hahahahahahahaha:bowdown::sm185::sm185::sm185:

[Andee 220524]

Don't forget the signed autograph of Liberace you had framed which hangs in the bathroom over the throne!

[Old Dog 179138]

Don't forget the signed autograph of Liberace you had framed which hangs in the bathroom over the throne!

 

That has been replaced!!!! I now have my Captain and Tenille "Muskrat Love" Gold Record replica hanging there....

[Guest gagagaga]

I have no clue what any of this is about, but it is funny as hell, so, what the fuck!!!

[Andee 220524]

Could somebody please tell me what JoeBlow's avatar is? I'm been trying to figure it out for months.

 

Back to the thread....

[Guest ***nsut***jr]

Could somebody please tell me what JoeBlow's avatar is? I'm been trying to figure it out for months.

 

Back to the thread....

 

Angela:

 

Honestly, from what I can tell, you are better off not knowing! LOL

To put it mildly, it appears to be baboon with great flexibility.

Obviously BBBJ is offered but I'm not sure if it is extra.

 

No wonder I'm having a hard time coming up with an avatar.

 

JSJ

[Andee 220524]

Angela:

 

Honestly, from what I can tell, you are better off not knowing! LOL

To put it mildly, it appears to be baboon with great flexibility.

Obviously BBBJ is offered but I'm not sure if it is extra.

 

No wonder I'm having a hard time coming up with an avatar.

 

JSJ

 

Okay, makes sense...I think.

[777flyer 1612]

Well Dog, what can I say, the baboon hijacked your thread.......

 

Life at the top can be so fleeting at times, well my friend, at least you were at the top.......... ;-)

 

Damn baboons........it's a damn travesty

[Guest ***nsut***jr]

Hey guys sorry to get off the topic.

So I will say that that was a fine piece of writing by Flyer and a shameless confirmation by the Dog.

Unfortunately, LOL, it was like being there, I think. Hell I don't know what to think of it.

If I could make a suggestion though for the next time you might want to play Billy Don't be a Hero, it may be fitting and if it gets really intense maybe a little Ballroom Blitz just to kick it up a notch.

Gotta lover the Pacer reference too.

Thanks for those little bits of nostalgia.

 

JSJ

[Old Dog 179138]

Hey guys sorry to get off the topic.

So I will say that that was a fine piece of writing by Flyer and a shameless confirmation by the Dog.

Unfortunately, LOL, it was like being there, I think. Hell I don't know what to think of it.

If I could make a suggestion though for the next time you might want to play Billy Don't be a Hero, it may be fitting and if it gets really intense maybe a little Ballroom Blitz just to kick it up a notch.

Gotta lover the Pacer reference too.

Thanks for those little bits of nostalgia.

 

JSJ

 

Ahhh Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods!!! "Billy don't be a hero" was also done by Paper Lace who also did.... "The Night Chicago Died." I could follow that with Pilot doing "Magic"... Jigsaw doing "Sky High"... Major Hooples Boarding House doing "I'm Running After you"... Pablo Cruise doing "Love Will Find a Way"... and Hamilton, Joe Frank and Reynolds doing "Don't Pull your Love"...

 

I was waffling between the Pacer and the Gremlin....

[capitalman 3861]

I would be honoured if you guys would join the Fat Bastards BBM agency!

[Old Dog 179138]

Thanks Cap!!!! I would be honoured to accept!

[Guest ***nsut***jr]

[quote name=

 

I was waffling between the Pacer and the Gremlin....[/quote]

 

Yes the Gremlin was a classic too! I remember being in a powder blue Pacer back in the early teenage years and the guy driving was so cool in his mom's car!

Don't be writing about any K cars either, I got dibs on that. LOL.

 

Going further back, do you recall the coloured transistor radios from Radio Shack? In Ottawa we had CFGO that played all those great hits. "Feelings, nothing more than feelings" Remember that, it was great and the Bay City Rollers in grade six. I'm starting to get misty eyed.

 

Damn, off topic again!

 

JSJ

 

Additional Comments:

I would be honoured if you guys would join the Fat Bastards BBM agency!

 

Are you calling me fat? Did I leave my webcam on? What else do you know about me?

I could potentially ruin your whole club with the deep discounts you would have to give the ladies. I'm a crappy dresser too!

 

JSJ

[777flyer 1612]

I would be honoured if you guys would join the Fat Bastards BBM agency!

 

Cap !

 

I would love to join, on 2 conditions please.

 

1.) Dog reduces his ASTRONOMICAL rate since he will be a member of FB BBM

 

2.) We have sloppy Joe nights....again, i am referring to the food !

 

SNK

[Guest ***s]

I have no clue what any of this is about, but it is funny as hell, so, what the fuck!!!

 

I'm totally with you joebloe! ... but man that was hilarious! ... enough for a nomination though? ...HELL YA!

loved it flyer777 - do me!! - do me!!

 

:sm185:

;)

[777flyer 1612]

I'm totally with you joebloe! ... but man that was hilarious! ... enough for a nomination though? ...HELL YA!

loved it flyer777 - do me!! - do me!!

 

:sm185:

;)

 

Hi Tess,

 

I saw your 'Do Me Do Me' message almost 12 hours ago....

 

It has taken me that long, for my knees to stop shaking and my heart to regain its proper rhythm.....and for me to crawl back up on the chair to respond...

 

Of course I will....... in fact, I insist !!!.........

 

In fact, I have the perfect pair of chaps for you to wear...... ;-)

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

This is, by far, one of THE most entertaining threads (other than the Fat Bastard one) on CERB....thank you Flyer for the great laughs!

[Andee 220524]

Old Dog: You really musn't miss this Abba tribute band playing at Super-Ex, this Wednesday evening. Backup band is Yellow Brick Road, an Elton John tribute band. Starts at 8:00 don't miss the show.

 

http://www.abbamania.ca/

 

[Old Dog 179138]

As long as they also have a Bay City Rollers Tribute Band, I am in!!!!!!!

[Guest s******ecan****]

Getting back to the original twisted theme of this thread....any plans to tour Old Dog?

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

For the longest time, I admired Old Dog from the shadows, but Friday the 13th seemed to finally align the stars for us??.it was to be my lucky day?.

 

My review, of our lovable Old Dog?..

 

Early this morning cruising at 35,000 ft over Ottawa, my phone rang, it was Dog, he had an unexpected cancellation today, and could fit me in between 2 and 2:15??.

 

With nary a hesitation, I turned to my green co-pilot and told him to declare an emergency, I am going to dive straight down into Ottawa airport !!

 

I kept focused, and did a high speed landing on the taxiway?..quickly cutting across the grass to the terminal?..and just before I taxied to the gate, I jumped out of my seat, smacked the copilot on the back of the head, told him to stop crying, we are alive ,and to put the damn parking brakes on?..

 

I quickly grabbed a six pack from the food cart, opened the door?..activated the emergency chute and slid down??landing firmly on my feet in full stride?..

 

Looking to my right, there was Dog, just beyond the perimeter fence?sitting in his lime green 1968 Chevy Nova?engine running, I quickly hopped the fence, admiring the flames on the car??the leopard skin seat covers?.and the biggest furry dice I had ever seen??all this helped dissipate my nerves??

 

Dog was a pro, and knew how to keep a first timer like me calm?small talk, endless jokes... till we got to his incall location?. I tried to ignore the line up at his door as we brushed past?..he snickered told me his Friday night incall and taco night special was always a great hit?

 

The room was as I had dreamed, a large polar bear rug in the middle of the room, the disco ball spinning, a fake fireplace, all the while the strobe light was flashing?..Barry Manilow in the background??

 

Dog then emerged from the bathroom, wearing a pair of chaps and a large cowboy hat, exactly the outfit I had asked?.?. he quietly walked over to the stereo in the corner and put his 8 track of Abba?s greatest hits in?..I was in heaven??.

 

he opened a pack of extra large condoms, but assured me he was the consummate pro.....again, my nerves were quickly put to ease....

 

While what happened between Dog and I will remain between us, I do recall intense passion, non stop jokes from Dog?s mouth, the occasional bad talk, a suggestion in the middle of our session that I speak to Cato or Pistol Pete about proper etiquette?..him repeatedly asking me to smack his ass thru his chaps, and the room constantly spinning ?.. while Abba blared in the background?.

 

Would I repeat ? Hell ya !

 

Total damage, $250 for 15 minutes, but I must admit when you throw in the the Friday night Taco?s it was well worth the premium charge?..

 

Run, don?t walk, Dog is a gem, and it?s only a matter of time people discover his wicked evil ways???.

 

Dog.....you're a great sport....thanks for helping me get over my Friday the 13th SUPERSTITION........ ;-)

 

 

OMG!!! LMAO!! This has got to be the most entertaining thread ever!!

 

Additional Comments:

Wow. There's not much to add... wow.

 

I must admit that I was pleasantly surprised when my 2 o'clock cancelled. Flyer had been pm'ing me constantly wanting to know what the RJE was all about.... not many get the full Ron Jeremy Experience.

 

I thought, "what the hell?"... the Flyer is that kind of special.

 

What could happen in 15 minutes??? Woooo hoooooo.... I am glad I had the extra pair of ass chaps.... and the ten gallon hat??? By the time we were done it was almost filled to the brim.

 

ABBA was quickly forgotten, we moved quickly to Starland Vocal Band's "Afternoon Delight"... and I must say that it certainly was.... the emergency chute and slide was not the only thing that inflated rapidly *wink*

 

You must drop by the next time you are in Ottawa... I just had the faux fur replaced in the 1976 AMC Pacer... it is to die for.... and we can experience the rumpus room with my collection of velvet Elvises (velvet Elvii??)... with the almost wood panel and the orange shag, it is a splendour to behold... and remember Saturdays are Sloppy Joe nights and I may even let you browse through my collection of Scandinavian porn on Beta!!!! Boooom chicka wow wow!!!!

 

 

Jesus Christ Old Dog!! LMFAO!!! You never cease to amaze me with your posts. I can't stop laughing!!!! You make me smile!:-D

 

Nicki