Addiction

[Empire of the Dumb 100]

Specifically sexual addiction. Perhaps that is a dirty word around here. I've been creeping on this site for almost 2yrs now (as a hobbyist) and haven't seen any discussion about this. (It might be out there, I just haven't seen it) I'm certainly not meaning to preach, nor judge, but rather wanted to get different perspectives on this sensitive yet relevant topic. How do individuals feel about it from either side of the coin? Thanks

[lookingforfunxxx 615]

Personally I find the idea that sex can be an addiction rather ridiculous.

 

Sex is THE basic drive of all life. Without reproduction life dies out. I think this the most hardwired of all the instincts.

 

There is this myth that reason should be more powerful than our biological urges. Children cost money, deny us much of our personal time and re-orient our priorities from ourselves to someone else. From a purely selfish point of view, they make no sense. Only birth control frees us to indulge ourselves without creating herds of children in the process.

 

There is a spectrum of people with differing strengths of sex drive. Some have more desire for sex than others and some have a more of a desire for variety in partners than others. From the male perspective this makes sense from a biological standpoint. There should at some level be a drive to impregnate as many females as possible.

 

Now some (or many) of you will say that we're not mindless animals rutting because of uncontrolled biological imperatives. To a certain degree, I will agree with you. However, there is a portion of the mind that is called the subconscious. As it's name suggests, it operates beneath our conscious selves and in it will mix things like instinct, drives, social pressures, etc. It is my opinion that society imposes a view of what is morally right upon all of us. As has been shown over and over (see gay rights as a case in point) one set of rules or values cannot fit the entirety of the sexual spectrum.

 

As a result of this long winded tirade about the social prejudice against my philandering ways. I will just say, accept and enjoy who you are while leaving society's guilt out. SEX is normal and healthy (providing one takes the necessary precautions)

[roamingguy 300292]

Specifically sexual addiction. Perhaps that is a dirty word around here. I've been creeping on this site for almost 2yrs now (as a hobbyist) and haven't seen any discussion about this. (It might be out there, I just haven't seen it) I'm certainly not meaning to preach, nor judge, but rather wanted to get different perspectives on this sensitive yet relevant topic. How do individuals feel about it from either side of the coin? Thanks

 

First it has been discussed. Just a quick search revealed these three threads

 

http://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=208802&highlight=addiction

 

http://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=198071&highlight=addiction

 

http://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=74288&highlight=addiction

 

As for my opinion, first I'm no expert. But I, in my non expert opinion believe most claims of sex addiction are more to defend "bad" behaviour, such as a cheating (hate moral laden terms) spouse trying to defend his/her actions to his/her spouse. "I wasn't cheating, I'm sick, I have an addiction"

Like I said I'm no expert but it seems more an excuse to me than a real problem

But I could be wrong

 

RG

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

Here is the other thread on the topic.

 

http://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=670114#post670114

 

I'm also looking for a recent article that disproved the whole "sexual addiction" theory because many of the key points of addiction are not present in those claiming sexual addiction. Therefore it would fall into other sex related issues.

[roamingguy 300292]

 

I'm also looking for a recent article that disproved the whole "sexual addiction" theory because many of the key points of addiction are not present in those claiming sexual addiction. Therefore it would fall into other sex related issues.

 

Is this the article

 

http://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=145529&highlight=sex+addiction

 

RG

[Sweet Emily J 172062]

Here is the other thread on the topic.

 

http://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=670114#post670114

 

I'm also looking for a recent article that disproved the whole "sexual addiction" theory because many of the key points of addiction are not present in those claiming sexual addiction. Therefore it would fall into other sex related issues.

 

Here is a solid piece by Dr. Marty Klein that disputes "sex addiction" as a diagnosis -

 

You're Addicted to What?

[Empire of the Dumb 100]

I guess maybe there needs to be a definition on what constitutes an addiction. IMHO I think an addiction is any behaviour that a person continues to do, despite having a negative impact on their lives. (Emotional, financial, employment) I believe that anything can develop into an addiction if a person has a certain brain chemistry to allow it. Obviously certain substances, but also work, exercise, food, gambling, video games just to name a few.

[scribbles 6031]

Oh , Marty Klein... That amused me.

 

There is no consensus on diagnostic criteria, nor is there consensus on nosology (what to call it). Correct. However, to claim there are *no* diagnostic criteria is incorrect. There are lots, many of them overlapping or similar, and differing in complexity and actual measurable practicality.

 

Check out Kenneth Blum's Reward Deficiency Syndrome. It isn't hard to find a few papers by him on it, though the 2000 paper is detailed, if epically long. Rather than approach the subject from a pithy and purely cultural perspective, Blum gives a good and exhaustive analysis of the neuroscience behind addiction. By demonstrating the changes that occur in the dopamine system, specifically the mesolimbic structures, and by demonstrating the effect of the Taq A1 allele genetic variant to regulation of this system, you can start to see that addiction is real. And, yes, behavior can be addictive if it activated the mesolimbic system. Sex definitely does, as this is one of the ways we are built, to have sex reinforced neurobiologically, to ensure that we want to continue the species.

 

Is everyone who *says* they are a sex addict addicted? No. But, saying *nobody* is because of the ones who aren't is pretty short sighted. Certainly, just saying they're all immature and narcissistic is useless and wrong.

[Gntlmn 796]

Dr. Darryl Ray has a book on the myth of sex addiction. Here's a Youtube clip

[RainyDaise 100]

This may be an unpopular opinion, but I believe anyone can become addicted to anything given the right circumstances. If, even when having regular sex, the thought of more is dominating your thoughts and actions so much that it is interfering with your ability to function (work, maintain your home etc.), then perhaps you have an addiction. Most importantly you must look at whether or not the actions you're undertaking as a result are making you unhappy.

 

That being said wanting to have sex on a regular basis is perfectly normal, and being driven to seek out sex is also normal. As with all things, balance is key.