Hobby... Hobbiest??

[Ice4fun 78407]

I was just on Twitter reading a bunch of posts and came across one that suggested that the terms "Hobby" and "Hobbiest" were not ideal terms for use in this industry and that might be seen as inappropriate because this industry is all about interpersonal relationships and the term Hobby is not complementary to that notion.

 

I have to admit that I was surprised to see the post but it did make me think. I certainly have used the term in the past mostly however in posts on this and other similar sites and have to admit I never really thought of my participation in this industry as a hobby until I saw the term used frequently on this site so I adopted it.

 

My initial reaction is that while I can see some initial incongruence with the use of the term if one thinks of more traditional hobbies like coin collecting a review of the definition of the term Hobby does seem to fit:

• Merriam-Webster definition - a pursuit outside one's regular occupation engaged in especially for relaxation http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hobby
  
• online dictionary definition.- an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupatio. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hobby
  

 

I would love to know what others think as if is something that is seen as offensive or inappropriate especially by people working in the industry then I would want to rethink my usage of the term.

 

Just my Opinion

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

"Hobby" works for me. It beats passion, obsession, interest, game, distraction...

The word seems to capture quite well what we do. Can anyone think of a better word?

Edit: if we were being honest we could always call it what it is, prostitution or commercialized fornication but that doesn't sound as nice as hobblying, nor as degrading. :)

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

The words Hobby and Hobbyist were, and had been, in play for awhile when I came along so they were adopted as part of the culture. If you just look at the dictionary definition it most definitely fits as this is a pursuit of pleasure and relaxation. I think the rub comes in when you look at it from an outside perspective and not just from a definition one.

 

When one thinks of hobby, they think inanimate objects, things, objects, actions (board games, models, sports, karaoke, reading, travel). So the pursuit of pleasure is more defined by a thing or an object or an action. In the case of what's happening here, the pursuit of pleasure is an experience with another person or about another person.

 

Technically one could say it's the pursuit of the experience that is the actual hobby but that completely disregards the human factor where the provider becomes the hobby. When you're on the inside looking out, it's the pursuit of the provider that is the goal as the provider gives the experience thus the provider IS the hobby. If you let that comment stand on its own, it seems rather degrading and disrespectful.

 

Mind you I'm sure society would have less of an issue with ladies choosing to be a hobby than a provider/sex worker.

 

I have been privy to a few discussions on this and it really depends on what side of the word you're on. Both have been adopted and used by this industry and I have yet to see any better words suggested or bandied about. Everyone knows and understands what the terms mean so it's a "same page" sort of deal. I use it but that doesn't mean I don't have any issues with it. It's a term that has different angles and I'm not sure that will ever change.

[mrgreen760 37785]

Is Player taken yet?

 

Peace

MG

[johnybird 4391]

I don't find the term hobbyist offensive, but I find it more of a 'Lifestyle' than a hobby

 

:)

[TorontoMelanieJolliet 4458]

 

 

• Merriam-Webster definition - a pursuit outside one's regular occupation engaged in especially for relaxation http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hobby
  
• online dictionary definition.- an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupatio. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hobby
  

 

I would love to know what others think as if is something that is seen as offensive or inappropriate especially by people working in the industry then I would want to rethink my usage of the term.

 

Just my Opinion

 

I understood 'hobbyist' to mean someone who does this activity AND participates in forums with reviews and critiques. Like it is their responsibility to inform others of their experiences and to 'give back' to their communities. I have seen internet posters describe it as this too. So when someone refers to themselves as a 'hobbyist' I have an idea of demands and expectations and what they plan on doing after. So the "not a main occupation" kind of discredits that definition as a hobby, as I've noticed the follow-up seems to be a rather intensive undertaking, and time consuming.

 

Whereas just a regular person who sees companions, is just that. A regular person with no vested interest in reporting experiences but only enjoying them.

 

That to me, now, is what a 'hobbyist' is.

[Ice4fun 78407]

I understood 'hobbyist' to mean someone who does this activity AND participates in forums with reviews and critiques. Like it is their responsibility to inform others of their experiences and to 'give back' to their communities. I have seen internet posters describe it as this too. So when someone refers to themselves as a 'hobbyist' I have an idea of demands and expectations and what they plan on doing after. So the "not a main occupation" kind of discredits that definition as a hobby, as I've noticed the follow-up seems to be a rather intensive undertaking, and time consuming.

 

Whereas just a regular person who sees companions, is just that. A regular person with no vested interest in reporting experiences but only enjoying them.

 

That to me, now, is what a 'hobbyist' is.

 

Just so I am clear... am I correct in assuming you see the term hobbiest in a negative context?

[TorontoMelanieJolliet 4458]

Just so I am clear... am I correct in assuming you see the term hobbiest in a negative context?

 

you know what? now that you asked that, i think i kind of do.

 

Now that I am aware what that is, i can look back and see 'traits' of people who I now know considered themselves 'hobbyists' and they seem to have things in common. I find those 'traits' to be the centre of the uncomfortable experiences i sometimes have, like alot of pressure and being judged, harshly lol

 

And they never seem to truely let go and be natural. It's like an order of things must take place, and length of time spent on each activity etc.

 

So yeah, I don't like the term if someone were to actually come out and say that is what they were, I would get tense and stressed.

[Ice4fun 78407]

Based on the feedback I am receiving here in this thread and directly from texts and PMs it certainly appears that this term is seen in negative terms by a number of ladies.

 

I know I certainly have adopted the use of the term since I came across it here on the site and assumed it was an acceptable way to refer to your regular involvement in this industry so if my doing so has hurt anyone or was seen as disrespectful in any way then please accept my apology that was never my intention.

[Andee 220524]

I don't find hobby or hobbiest to be offensive at all. I would rather think of my guests as such rather than johns or tricks etc.

[roamingguy 300292]

I don't find the term hobby or hobbiest wrong or offensive. When I began seeing companions it was the accepted terminology and still is. I agree with Johnybird , I consider this a lifestyle, not a hobby. I don't see how interpersonal human relations, especially intimate human relations can be viewed as a hobby. But that's just me, and use of those terms has been accepted since before I began in this lifestyle. So I can't say their use is wrong or offensive

As for using boards and writing recommendations, first it is both ladies and gentlemen who use such board. Ladies to advertise, and gentlemen to see those advertisements. When I began dating companions I was uncomfortable with the idea of writing recommendations. To me what happened between a man and woman was private. But it was ladies who said recommendations are welcome, it helps their business. So my first few recos were awkward, more because I was uncomfortable writing them. Now I view it as having three purposes. First, a public thank you to a lady for a great date. Second hopefully it helps the lady get other clients. And third, sort of the opposite side of the second reason, it lets potential clients know of a great lady to see

And on the subject of boards, well in this day and age conventional dating has led to the rise of computer dating sites. In both cases, conventional dating sites and escort sites computer/internet technology has just allowed for a new forum for long time human practices. Dating, and seeing escorts has just kept pace with the internet age that's all

So yes, hobby/hobbiest are accepted terms. But for me, when I contact a lady for a date, it's because I'd like to meet her, or she is a lady I know and want to get together with her again. And it is a lifestyle, a lifestyle where ladies and gentlemen can date one another in a no strings polyamorous relationships

A rambling over cup number one

Now I'm going through my fishing tackle...fishing, that's my hobby ;-)

 

RG

[bewlayb 7480]

Now I'm going through my fishing tackle...fishing, that's my hobby ;-)

 

RG

 

Hobby? I thought it was a sport! ;)

[roamingguy 300292]

Hobby? I thought it was a sport! ;)

 

 

RG :-)

[conquistador 18487]

I don't find the term hobby or hobbiest wrong or offensive. When I began seeing companions it was the accepted terminology and still is. I agree with Johnybird , I consider this a lifestyle, not a hobby. I don't see how interpersonal human relations, especially intimate human relations can be viewed as a hobby. But that's just me, and use of those terms has been accepted since before I began in this lifestyle. So I can't say their use is wrong or offensive

As for using boards and writing recommendations, first it is both ladies and gentlemen who use such board. Ladies to advertise, and gentlemen to see those advertisements. When I began dating companions I was uncomfortable with the idea of writing recommendations. To me what happened between a man and woman was private. But it was ladies who said recommendations are welcome, it helps their business. So my first few recos were awkward, more because I was uncomfortable writing them. Now I view it as having three purposes. First, a public thank you to a lady for a great date. Second hopefully it helps the lady get other clients. And third, sort of the opposite side of the second reason, it lets potential clients know of a great lady to see

And on the subject of boards, well in this day and age conventional dating has led to the rise of computer dating sites. In both cases, conventional dating sites and escort sites computer/internet technology has just allowed for a new forum for long time human practices. Dating, and seeing escorts has just kept pace with the internet age that's all

So yes, hobby/hobbiest are accepted terms. But for me, when I contact a lady for a date, it's because I'd like to meet her, or she is a lady I know and want to get together with her again. And it is a lifestyle, a lifestyle where ladies and gentlemen can date one another in a no strings polyamorous relationships

A rambling over cup number one

Now I'm going through my fishing tackle...fishing, that's my hobby ;-)

 

RG

 

You mention dating companions?... Is that what you really want to say?!

 

I don't think that at all, we meet and enjoy each other's company, but calling it dating seems a bit of a stretch and wrong.

 

As for hobbyists, works for me. Better than a bunch of other words I can thinking of lol... It is a hobby in essence, something I do once in awhile.

[peacectryguy 12547]

Honestly, I don't use the term very much because I don't consider what I'm doing as a "hobby" per se. It's just having companionship for me. The only difference between this and a regular dating scene is the monetary aspect (which isn't truly much of a difference) and that this is much more honest to me. There are no concerns of this getting complicated. It is truly the ultimate NSA relationship. That, to me, doesn't mean a lack of passion either. There is plenty of passion and often, genuine feelings involved but we both can leave that behind when I walk out the door. I am very pragmatic when it comes to this.

As for the terms "hobby or hobbyist", I have noticed this topic gets raised on a lot of boards out there and it appears that it is mostly the men that embrace this term more so than the ladies. A few ladies don't mind, obviously, but I would say the majority of SP's find the term somewhat demeaning or just aren't fond of it in general. Several ladies that I have spoken to in person have expressed displeasure with the term as well.

I don't know what other term works better, though. Maybe we don't need to label this lifestyle with anything. It just is what it is. Consenting adults having amorous fun times together, with a financial aspect, of course. I don't know, though. I try not to over think things too much. :icon_mrgreen:

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

As a society we use terms and labels in regards to most things as it puts people immediately on the same footing. There is inherent understanding that provides a basis to start communication.

 

I don't like many of the labels and terms in this industry because I view them as derogatory to one side or the other. In some instances, there is an uprising to change the terms such as the debate you see regularly on <P Word> versus sex worker.

 

People understand the terms hobby and hobbyists even if they don't like them or use them. Some consider them fitting because it's something they do every now and then for fun and on another level, a lady they do for fun.

 

I would like to see better, more appropriate terms but these have become standard; they are understood. Use/not use, make your own terms, define it however you like and then accept those who think different. It is what it is and it will continue on that way too.

[roamingguy 300292]

You mention dating companions?... Is that what you really want to say?!

 

I don't think that at all, we meet and enjoy each other's company, but calling it dating seems a bit of a stretch and wrong.

 

As for hobbyists, works for me. Better than a bunch of other words I can thinking of lol... It is a hobby in essence, something I do once in awhile.

 

What's wrong for you isn't wrong for me

As for the term date, yes I really wanted to say that. Otherwise I wouldn't have said it.

Just because the date is a paid date doesn't mean it isn't a date

Hobbyist works for you, great. Doesn't mean it works for me

 

RG

[conquistador 18487]

What's wrong for you isn't wrong for me

As for the term date, yes I really wanted to say that. Otherwise I wouldn't have said it.

Just because the date is a paid date doesn't mean it isn't a date

Hobbyist works for you, great. Doesn't mean it works for me

 

RG

Date is different than dating... Big difference.

 

I don't have problem with date, so to speak... If it's one date.