addiction-david butler

[popsicle 100]

sad story in todays citizen about david butler, a man who apparently squandered most of $115,000.00 of fraudulently obtained money in ottawa area strip clubs.

it brings to mind that we use the word "addiction" far too loosely here on cerb-usually in the context of praise for one of our favored women.

butler seems to have had a true addiction that was instrumental in ruining his life. it is not for me to judge this man either favorably or unfavorably, but he seems interesting...a resident of "perverts row" where he wrote poetry that he shared with the dancers.

do any of us know him--dancers or hobbyists?

is he a member of cerb?

is there anything we should do to help him?

at the very least we should reflect upon our own vulnerability. his story may not be unique.

[Seymour 3970]

Here is the article.

 

http://www.ottawacitizen.com/opinion/dance+luxury+came+high+price/3431165/story.html

 

Without judging anyone I just wanted to comment on one item:

"at the very least we should reflect upon our own vulnerability"

 

Any addiction has the potential to ruin the individual. In many cases the individual does not realize nor admit there is a problem. I've said it before and will say it again - everyone needs to have their own rules for how they play this game. It is not for everyone, play safe and play within one's means.

 

Ultimately responsibility comes down to the individual - many times I go away and return to see various members account gone disabled. That could be due to many reasons, a spouse found out, they can't keep up the deception with the spouse, or perhaps they noticed they were spending too much time and resources on their hobby. Any hobby or passion has that potential to lure one in and consume the person, if they are that passionate about it.

 

The point about reflecting on one's vulnerability is very valid. Always good to have a reality check.

[Grass_Hopper 18263]

Unfortunetly, there is a lot of sex addicts here, on cerb. Saying that the word is used to loosely, I believe this is wrong.

 

From what I believe, an addiction is when something is used in order to fill a need, by any means, including the fact that the wrong substance (in this case, women) is used to fill that specific need...

 

I had to refuse quite a bit of potential clients like people telling me their phone was going to be cut off because they wanted to see me, or regulars asking for retainers, but unable to pay up front... Those signs will get you a no-no, since escorts and strippers are meant in a way of ENTERTAINMENT, not to fill a need... It is plain luxury. Most of you gents are working hard for your money, and instead of hitting a bar, you preffer to give yourself a little treat.

 

When sex and companionship are the main points of life, this is not entertainment, but ADDICTION. That is when life becomes a NIGHTMARE.

[survived70s 582]

Some of us have addictive personalities and must learn from past mistakes.... else suffer the fate to cysysfus (typo for sure) and keep rolloing the rock up the hill only to have to roll back...

Doubtlessly, we are best to learn from other's mistakes - perhaps the term is judgemental and I should say life experiences...

 

I learned to value future pleasure versus present pleasure and also factor in family needs. I had a lot of help from very kind wonderful people over the years. I never denied anything to my kids bacause I selffishly over endulged.

 

I suppose that I always have to be sure that I don't get too carried away.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Interesting posts and some very wise comments!!!. Funny that I always considered myself addicted (No, not to drugs, I never even smoked cigarettes in my life lol, and not to gambling, and not to alcohol, and not to sex) but addicted to girls. Being with them and hugging them and kissing them and exchange love and passion, with or without sex. I always percieve their company as being in heaven or heavenly time because it can't possibly get any better (time) for me, no matter how green or pleasant heaven may be.

 

Having said all above, I never let myself get carried away or do anything childish or stupid. When I go to strip bars I take limited amount of cash with me (and do not take my debit card) and once I am done my wallet orders me out. I put the fund for mortgage, utilities, food and clothing and charity aside and whatever remains is for entertainment. That is the reason for the title for my post. It is an addiction but a good addiction. It is addiction because if one weekend (i.e I have a cold or flu or a no show that has happened three times past two years) and don't spend time with a girl or girls, I feel that my nerves are on fire and I am stressed out for the whole week at work and home. So, it can be classified as addiction and it is good addiction because I am enjoying it with no regrets and regard it as a pay back for my week long hard work lol.

 

I always believe that life is too short not to enjoy it to the fullest and why should I instead keep the dollars in the bank so that I take them to grave with me. I rather to have the pleasant memories of a thousand and one nights being with a thousand plus girls/ladies when my time is up than a million dollars in my bank account lol. Money and wealth does not bring hapiness, but girls do (to me). So, my belief is spend it and spend it on what makes you happy but spend wisely and do not have any regrets after you did lol. Well as usual my views are likely in minority and likely even radical to some readers but again they are mine:D.

[curious2 323]

The problem here was that $114K of it was defrauded from the government. There are many, many of us who earn and then breeze through that amount on this hobby easily over a few years, and as SA said it's one hell of a lot more fun than watching it sit in a bank account. Too many people end up old, unhappy, and unable to do much but with $1,000,000 in the bank. I'll never understand the aspiration that many people have to retire like that.

 

Also, about that $25,000 stamp collection--I'd have that thing on Ebay within seconds of the funeral being over!

[Peter Smith 808]

I also like going to strip clubs to see the girls. Beautiful women no strings attached. But I also only take limited funds otherwise I would blow the lot at once. Never take a debit card. It is just too easy to get carried away. You have to use your head when the hormones take over.