Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted August 27, 2010 Where do you come up with these??? Remember you're not supposed to mention CERB members' names but those were priceless! Additional Comments: A madam operated a house of ill repute It was the best in the city - no dispute Frequented by politicians and many others Men of reputation were found beneath the covers Since they paid, they didn't need to be cute This is harder than I thought!!! Hey!!!! I needed something to rhyme with windy and dicky.... heheheheh Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NotchJohnson 214123 Report post Posted August 27, 2010 I was looking for a date for the evening have been searching since morning look up on CL is time wasted when cerb as been suggested found my date for the evening Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
omehgosh 736 Report post Posted August 27, 2010 Great thread Scott! @ Cato - brilliant! There was a young Cerbite named CatoWho loved to administer DATO. He'd lick and he'd thrust, Till she came, 'twas a must, Then he'd flip her over and mate-o. @ Seymour - LMAO - even a masterpiece can be improved! Alternate ending: There was a young Cerbite named Cato Who loved to administer DATO. He'd lick and he'd thrust, Till she came, 'twas a must, Then he'd immortalize her with a reco :mrgreen: WIT - Ha ha ha! Nicely done! I once knew lady-twins from Belgrade;In stilettos they swayed and sashayed. Whether Serb or Cerb-Slavs, They did nothing by halves -- So let's all cast our votes for free trade! ALL of these posts are awesome though! Nice work! I'm going to hold off on picking my favourite, however, until Berlin posts hers (* fingers crossed * :smile:)... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mikeyboy 27133 Report post Posted August 27, 2010 Amongst our fair maidens, a winner,With a penchant for Mexican dinner, But oh our fair Cindy, Just a little too windy, Is CERB?s only jet propelled spinner. and.... With promises sweet, hot and sticky, I booked with Notorious Nicki, CERB rated her highly, And now I?m quite smiley, She did fabulous things with my dicky! and... There once was a man, his name Larry, On CERB he would constantly tarry, His only pursuit, Were pleasures hirsute, Oh how he loved his courtesans hairy!!!! and last for today... A CERB banished girl, quite a shrew, Had filled her vagina with glue, She said, with a grin, ?If they pay to get in, They will pay to get out of me too!? bwahahahahhahhah Old Dog...you rock! I'm still laughing:sm185: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
omehgosh 736 Report post Posted August 27, 2010 I once wrote a limerick - it sucked I knew from the start I was fucked Who needs poems and rhyming? I'll practise orgasm timing Oh shit! I forgot to use "CERB"! Did I mention the time I wrote a really sucky limerick? 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seymour 3970 Report post Posted August 27, 2010 Here are a few - enjoy.. it came to pass they voted with fervor for a CERB member known for candor valued with his group called RHAG tricks hidden in his virtual bag redheads he's known to savor her comment was of type shill yet she persisted with will the ire of mod she faced being banished from CERB disgraced sneaks in as another - you know the drill it causes angst amongst the member newbies questioning without ponder the search is your friend on CERB someone will append enough, to the albums yonder she had her style beat the competition by a mile retired from CERB without whimper leaving admirers not so chipper hopes for a return from exile a challenge of mayhem and mirth looking for limerick to not brag about girth members are plenty and interest not feign CERB, oasis of pleasure again and again farewell, I've found my berth Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VedaSloan 119179 Report post Posted August 27, 2010 I once wrote a limerick - it suckedI knew from the start I was fucked Who needs poems and rhyming? I'll practise orgasm timing Oh shit! I forgot to use "CERB"! Did I mention the time I wrote a really sucky limerick? You are putting a lot of pressure on me, but here goes: There once was a 'ho named Berlin, the sight of your dick sent me hurlin', but you reeled me back in with your mouth full of sin, and now you've got my toes a-curlin'. Ok, that was terrible. Hahaha. I also forgot to mention CERB. Goddamnit. I just can't compete with Seymour and Cato and WIT. You guys are too good with words. A member is called a CERB-ite, many are much tastier than marmite, from handsome to plain, we'll play again and again, until our endeavours seem trite. 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cato 160314 Report post Posted August 28, 2010 Great thread, Scott! Very amusing. And incredibly time-saving! I think that instead of writing reviews from now on, I'll just post my limerick. ;-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest s******ecan**** Report post Posted August 28, 2010 Wow you guys are awesome....and how did I know Old Dog would have more than a few contributions! Bravo all! There once was a man named Herb who found a lovely lass here on CERB he showed up at her door claiming to be poor she then showed him straight to the curb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seymour 3970 Report post Posted August 29, 2010 Just a couple more .. the CERB ad read plain her voice sounded vane my friend is here too we'll take care of you and have you cumming again her CERB photos were cropped she's removing her top blurs her face just in case cause daddy's friend's a cop this CERB thread was fun you're likely wishing it were done thank our friend from the east he's unleashed the beast and then there were none Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cato 160314 Report post Posted August 29, 2010 OMG I've caught the bug! I woke up this morning with this in my head. The only way to get rid of it is to post it, so I do so with apologies for the quality. There once was a Cerbite named Ithacal. His sexual exploits were mythical. Erect he could stay For day after day, Causing orgasms most paradisical [/ paradithical]. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted August 29, 2010 Oh the ladies of CERB would implore, That his hygeine was really quite poor, But he never listened, And his chest how it glistened, With the sweat garnered three days before. Now he called and he called everyone, His mind full of visions of fun, But the odious smell, Like the sulfurs of Hell, Meant his calls would be answered by none. Poor Stanley could not understand, That no courtesan in the land, Would sate his desire, So burning with fire, He was forced to take matters in "hand." 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cato 160314 Report post Posted August 29, 2010 A new art form, Old Dog! The multi-stanzaed limerick! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted August 29, 2010 A new art form, Old Dog! The multi-stanzaed limerick! Thanks Cato!!! But there is one final stanza... Now Stanley sits sad, and forlorn, His CERB membership canceled with scorn, His life full of gloom, He sits alone in his room, Eating cheezies and watching bad porn. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest W***ledi*Time Report post Posted August 30, 2010 Old Satan cried with cash-strapped chagrin: "Just what good are my wages-of-sin? Those lovely Cerb ladies Are hotter than Hades But I've forgotten by bank-card PIN!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seymour 3970 Report post Posted August 30, 2010 some on CERB call it a hobby others say beware the bobby cause if incall you lust careful the bust it is common bawdy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest W***ledi*Time Report post Posted August 30, 2010 He bragged: "I'm hard as rock, you'll cum thrice -- Therefore give me a discounted price!" Her acerbic reply Was: "Get-out and Good-bye! -- Though you're stiff as quartz schist, you're not gneiss!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VedaSloan 119179 Report post Posted August 30, 2010 He bragged: "I'm hard as rock, you'll cum thrice --Therefore give me a discounted price!" Her acerbic reply Was: "Get-out and Good-bye! -- Though you're stiff as quartz schist, you're not gneiss!" Where do you get this stuff? It's brilliant. And too funny. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest W***ledi*Time Report post Posted August 30, 2010 Where do you get this stuff? ... It's true, the mind's inner workings are mysterious and inexplicable. Ha ha ... I don't remember it, but perhaps I once read the book Sonnets of a Sorcerer. As Ron warns Harry in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (p.173), enchanted books can be dangerous: " ... everyone who read Sonnets of a Sorcerer spoke in limericks for the rest of their lives." (This didn't stop Harry from reading the Riddle diary, though. Can't say he wasn't warned! Limericks would have been the least of his worries.) I patiently waited five more books for Rowling to follow up on this and introduce a limerick-speaking character, but, sadly, nada. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nicolette Vaughn 294340 Report post Posted August 30, 2010 Sex with cerbites is dynamite Almost like losing your sight But if you have no one to fuck You'll be shit out of luck And you will be told to go fly a kite Old Dog makes me smile So much that he makes me throw up bile It won't be long before he says "It's all good" And then I fully understood Why he's got great style Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted August 30, 2010 awwwwww now I am blushing....:oops: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nicolette Vaughn 294340 Report post Posted August 30, 2010 To those hobbyists who are crude You might meet someone who is a prude Cause when you want someone to lust You'll be greeted without any trust They'll kick you out in the nude If Cerb is a board Then the Mod is a Lord I enjoy coming here Even more than getting it behind in the rear I never feel ignored Cerb, is it a verb Hell, it's more entertaining than t**b But when shit hits the fan You know who'll be in the can At the end of the day mod will say "Do not disturb" When Cerb has a party You know never to be tardy Heaven forbid should you drink too much You might need a crutch You could end up in bed with a guy named Marty 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted August 31, 2010 It's true, the mind's inner workings are mysterious and inexplicable. Ha ha ... I don't remember it, but perhaps I once read the book Sonnets of a Sorcerer. As Ron warns Harry in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (p.173), enchanted books can be dangerous: " ... everyone who read Sonnets of a Sorcerer spoke in limericks for the rest of their lives." (This didn't stop Harry from reading the Riddle diary, though. Can't say he wasn't warned! Limericks would have been the least of his worries.) I patiently waited five more books for Rowling to follow up on this and introduce a limerick-speaking character, but, sadly, nada. Damn it WIT, what you read is all true, When you start with this style, you are through. Every cognitive thought, Whether wanted or not, Rhymes with three lines and two others too!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cato 160314 Report post Posted August 31, 2010 Revising my previous entry, as I've thought of a better rhyme. (This is not meant to slander our distant ancestors, by the way). There once was a Cerbite named Ithacal. His body looked Australopithecal. Yet erect he could stay For day after day, So had sexual exploits most mythical. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andee 220524 Report post Posted August 31, 2010 There was an old cerbite named Ricky Who often ended up with his dicky not in a girl when he wanted a whirl but rather his hands ended up icky Nicki: That bile comment made Old Dog Blush? I don't get it. Ah, those weren't lima beans in the back of his cupboard after all! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites