Sex Work is Work!

[Guest s******ecan****]

I don't really like the word "donation" because to me it's not - it's payment for my time (work). But if it turns out true that by calling it or considering a donation is the same as a gift and it's tax-exempt, I think I'll be changing the wording in my ads very soon.

 

Unless you want to live "off the grid", there's no way around not paying taxes. CRA doesn't care how you make your money as long as you claim it, so there is no shame in calling this "work" and declaring yourself self-employed consultant or whatever you want to call yourself.

 

Some of us choose to claim all, some, or none, just like other folks who are self-employed.

 

 

I always thought ladies used the word "donation" or "consideration" out of concern of LE.

[Cleo Catra 178382]

My guess is it breaks the illusion which is part and parcel of a GFE. No different to the dreaded white envelope.

 

This is the reason why I avoid using the word work. It in no way means I don't love what I do - I ADORE what I do, and left a full-time government job to do this. I see your points about how you wouldn't do it for free and I agree, but still, to me, I don't like pointing out to clients that they're 'clients', it just my personal preference.

[sacha 7410]

Well said!

Sacha

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I hope everyone understands that the points I am making are not to diminish the value of the work or to assert that it shouldn't be spoken of... the point that was being made is the rationalization of the hobbyist mindset.

 

I don't think that any of us is under the impression that it is not work nor do we believe that it is not tough. It's like any other job in that respect, good days and bad, dream clients and nightmares, disappointments and unexpected windfalls.

 

But as to the "work" issue... you are only working when you are with someone else. When you are with "me," it is REAL. Every client wants to believe that they are the one and only "me." I think that is probably why there is a reluctance to accept the discussion of work... it somehow bursts the bubble of fantasy... like being told that there is no Santa.

 

I don't know whether that makes the issue any clearer...

 

 

Yes, I agree with you from a hobbyist's point of view. My point was that at the end of the day, clients should be aware that this is a job whether one wants to think of it in a positive or negative way. Or that this line of work sometimes isn't taken seriously by those in the community or society in general. Most people think all we have to do is provide the experience or to put it more bluntly, just lie on our backs and we instantly make money. There is a lot more that goes into it before and after seeing it and shares many parallels to other businesses or those in the service industry.

 

As for providing an experience for the client, it can be hard tightrope to walk from the POV of an SP as it is often difficult to mention things related to the job when you're with a client. The fantasy an SP is creating is directly proportionate to cultivating new business and maintaining current business. So while it is an unspoken rule that this is work, we are being paid and there are other clients waiting in the wings, providing that illusion and not talking about "work" is mandatory.

[VedaSloan 119179]

The emphasis on this being actual work is, because, first off, it is work, but secondly, under the Canadian Charter of Human Rights, citizens have the right to choose their profession--and since exchanging sex for money is NOT illegal, we have the right to choose this work as our profession.

 

Additionally, as Megan stated, just because it is referred to as work doesn't mean we don't enjoy our jobs. Most of us chose this line of work over OTHER options.

 

Part of the reason I emphasize that it is work is because, as many have pointed out, clients want the illusion...but some of them want it all the time. Those people need to realize that we have a personal/private life like anyone else.

 

And as for the use of the word "donation," I dislike it, for the sole reason that it implies choice. That is, that the donation is optional. And we all know it's not optional or negotiable.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I don't like the word donation since it sounds as if you're giving money to charity. As we are providing a service, I like to use the word "tribute".

[VedaSloan 119179]

I don't like the word donation since it sounds as if you're giving money to charity. As we are providing a service, I like to use the word "tribute".

 

Eh, I just go with rate/fee.

 

I don't know why we have to dance around everything all the time (that's not directed at you Nicki, just a general observation!).

 

I know we are in the business of fantasy, but let's not kid ourselves.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Eh, I just go with rate/fee.

 

I don't know why we have to dance around everything all the time (that's not directed at you Nicki, just a general observation!).

 

I know we are in the business of fantasy, but let's not kid ourselves.

 

True, you are correct. I've also used rates in the past.

 

Finding the right balance between fantasy and reality can be difficult. I think at the end of the day, we all know this is a service and if we can proivide that fantasy for the client in that moment, great.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

ha ha ... try telling a Canada Revenue Agency Auditor that your lifestyle is supported by non-taxable gifts from anonymous donors, instead of by taxable income. I'm guessing the auditor will be very happy to take the opportunity to administer a lesson as to exactly where fantasy stops, and reality begins!

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

ha ha ... try telling a Canada Revenue Agency Auditor that your lifestyle is supported by non-taxable gifts from anonymous donors, instead of by taxable income. I'm guessing the auditor will be very happy to take the opportunity to administer a lesson as to exactly where fantasy stops, and reality begins!

 

Haha! LMAO!! Good one!

[PistolPete 61421]

I always look at my encounters as a "date" and the "envelope" is always placed in a manner,so she gets it. Very seldom do I use the word donation, I would place an envelope, and say "this is for you"

[Capital Hunter 18263]

I do, in one sense, find it weird to call work, cause it's like dating for me... So that's not work, but fun...

 

I always look at my encounters as a "date"

 

WOW:shock:, the "date" perception is gathering momentum past couple of months:).

 

Glad to see that:D.

 

I would place an envelope, and say "this is for you"

 

I would place an envelope over a box of chocolate and say "this is a gift for your time and the joy you are about to give me with your companionship".

[Andee 220524]

ha ha ... try telling a Canada Revenue Agency Auditor that your lifestyle is supported by non-taxable gifts from anonymous donors, instead of by taxable income. I'm guessing the auditor will be very happy to take the opportunity to administer a lesson as to exactly where fantasy stops, and reality begins!

 

As usual WIT, you're on the money (no pun intended)!

[VedaSloan 119179]

WOW:shock:, the "date" perception is gathering momentum past couple of months:).

 

Glad to see that:D.

 

This troubles me. It's NOT a date. A date is between two adults and can be any number of activities (paid or free) and does not necessarily result in sex.

 

When you hire an escort, the implication is that sex is involved. Whether or not you actually take advantage of the sex factor is up to you, but I go to a call expecting to fuck a guy.

[Parker 19761]

This troubles me. It's NOT a date. A date is between two adults and can be any number of activities (paid or free) and does not necessarily result in sex.

 

When you hire an escort, the implication is that sex is involved. Whether or not you actually take advantage of the sex factor is up to you, but I go to a call expecting to fuck a guy.

 

I will have to disagree here..

 

I think that's an overly narrow definition of the word date, which can mean many things. I've always used it (in escorting and outside of escorting) to refer to an appointment... which I believe is actually part of the definition.

 

I just don't think we should be picking apart terms here..

 

I believe if we're going to talk about the work being recognized as such, it has to become something more than this partial legal loophole that only a portion of people really know about or understand... terminology isn't going to change people's views of us... as nice as that would be.

[VedaSloan 119179]

I will have to disagree here..

 

I think that's an overly narrow definition of the word date, which can mean many things. I've always used it (in escorting and outside of escorting) to refer to an appointment... which I believe is actually part of the definition.

 

I just don't think we should be picking apart terms here..

 

I believe if we're going to talk about the work being recognized as such, it has to become something more than this partial legal loophole that only a portion of people really know about or understand... terminology isn't going to change people's views of us... as nice as that would be.

 

 

My issue is with the word "date" being used in place of "paid sex" in order to blur the lines as to what is going on. Though, I do not want to put words in his mouth, SA has commented in this thread and others, using the word date in the context of something you might have in your personal life, and not the actual dictionary definition of the word, which does include appointments. Used in this context it is misleading.

[Seymour 3970]

"Date", "call", "meeting", "appointment", "session" - can all be used and can all be viewed differently. It is no different than some individuals who do not like use of the terms "service provider", "prostitute", "hooker" etc.

 

So in the end like many other things it comes down to personal preferences and comfort with the individual and how they chose to communicate. It does not necessarily mean the person that makes a 'date' reference has intentions to cross any lines between the established roles.

 

Agreed, in hiring an escort there is the expectation that sex is involved. However, men hire escorts for non sexual encounters too - not because they have an agenda to become romantic with them outside of their 'work'. Sometimes people just want to talk, have dinner, they may be required to attend a social function with a companion. It is not always about the sex.

[VedaSloan 119179]

"Date", "call", "meeting", "appointment", "session" - can all be used and can all be viewed differently. It is no different than some individuals who do not like use of the terms "service provider", "prostitute", "hooker" etc.

 

So in the end like many other things it comes down to personal preferences and comfort with the individual and how they chose to communicate. It does not necessarily mean the person that makes a 'date' reference has intentions to cross any lines between the established roles.

 

Agreed, in hiring an escort there is the expectation that sex is involved. However, men hire escorts for non sexual encounters too - not because they have an agenda to become romantic with them outside of their 'work'. Sometimes people just want to talk, have dinner, they may be required to attend a social function with a companion. It is not always about the sex.

 

I worded that poorly. It just seems that to me, when clients refer to it as a "date" rather than an appointment or a call, they're trying to convince themselves they're not really paying.

 

And one doesn't have to have a plan to become romantic outside of work to have it happen anyway.

 

But you are right, it isn't always about the sex.

[Parker 19761]

I worded that poorly. It just seems that to me, when clients refer to it as a "date" rather than an appointment or a call, they're trying to convince themselves they're not really paying.

 

And one doesn't have to have a plan to become romantic outside of work to have it happen anyway.

 

But you are right, it isn't always about the sex.

 

I completely understand what you're saying, it seems we're not being taken seriously by a bunch of people.

 

I personally get annoyed when people act like my work as an escort is my whole life or somehow is everything I am and I'm never off the clock... looking for clients everywhere...

 

At the same time though I'd rather have the government recognition that my line of work is work. It's just really hard to call it work. I have a lot of friends outside the industry that just don't get it and I can't explain it to them.. to them it's just a loophole that allows us to do what we want.. and they're not entirely wrong.

 

I know of very few, if any, lines of work that have absolutely no standards or regulations... and I really think we have to make it work on a different level before we start trying to convince the common public that our work deserves the same amount of respect as other jobs. (It's a hard sell)

 

All we're going on now is faith and happy clients... We have almost no proof that our profession deserves recognition. We work hard, damn hard.. I'm not saying we don't or don't deserve such... but we can't ask people to blindly believe us.

[Andee 220524]

WOW:shock:, the "date" perception is gathering momentum past couple of months:).

 

Glad to see that:D.

 

 

 

I would place an envelope over a box of chocolate and say "this is a gift for your time and the joy you are about to give me with your companionship".

 

That reminds me of a story an SP once told me about when she went to an out-call and it was the very same thing you described - the envelope was on the box of chocolates. The guy opened the box and offered her one, which she took. At the end of the date, he took the box and put it in the fridge. She said she would have had more than one if she had have known the box wasn't for her.

 

Back to the thread....

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

That reminds me of a story an SP once told me about when she went to an out-call and it was the very same thing you described - the envelope was on the box of chocolates. The guy opened the box and offered her one, which she took. At the end of the date, he took the box and put it in the fridge. She said she would have had more than one if she had have known the box wasn't for her.

 

Back to the thread....

 

"Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

 

Back to the thread ...

[Old Dog 179138]

There is a limerick in here waiting to be born.

 

... back to the thread.

[VedaSloan 119179]

There is a limerick in here waiting to be born.

 

... back to the thread.

 

Well, I'm waiting. ;)

[Carrie Moon 68826]

Initially I confess I found it all quite confusing, but hanging out on CERB and watching the Secret Diaries of a Call Girl helped me get a better handle on it.

 

That show freaking rocks! I kept watching it initially and yelling ''that's my life!!!'' at the tv. It's a great one to show my non-sp friends so they can get a handle on what I do as well..

 

The emphasis on this being actual work is, because, first off, it is work, but secondly, under the Canadian Charter of Human Rights, citizens have the right to choose their profession--and since exchanging sex for money is NOT illegal, we have the right to choose this work as our profession.

 

Additionally, as Megan stated, just because it is referred to as work doesn't mean we don't enjoy our jobs. Most of us chose this line of work over OTHER options.

 

Part of the reason I emphasize that it is work is because, as many have pointed out, clients want the illusion...but some of them want it all the time. Those people need to realize that we have a personal/private life like anyone else.

 

And as for the use of the word "donation," I dislike it, for the sole reason that it implies choice. That is, that the donation is optional. And we all know it's not optional or negotiable.

 

Exactly!

 

ha ha ... try telling a Canada Revenue Agency Auditor that your lifestyle is supported by non-taxable gifts from anonymous donors, instead of by taxable income. I'm guessing the auditor will be very happy to take the opportunity to administer a lesson as to exactly where fantasy stops, and reality begins!

 

Been there.. done that.. lesson learned.. and painfully so..:exagerefesses:

 

I go to a call expecting to fuck a guy.

you do?? you're such a slut! oops.. I am too..

[VedaSloan 119179]

you do?? you're such a slut! oops.. I am too..

 

Haha, well, it's more like I *hope* there will be sex. Lately I've been getting a lot of oral lovin' and wrestlers. I don't think I've actually been penetrated (by an actual penis anyway) in at least a month.