Ticketed comming back from MTL..

[antlerman 17064]

I travel from Montreal and Ottawa and also between TO and Ottawa...

And we all know that sometimes we head off with our morning coffee in the dash and listen to the news as we head off into the morning sun.....or drive off into the sunset with a nice after dinner coffee to keep us awake till we get to our destination.

For me?.coffee sometimes makes me go pee shortly after I drink it?.some times it takes a while?..and while these urges are random?it can usually be planned to happen at the good old rest stops??..while they are still around??

Sometimes??.the urge hits and there is no rest in site so to say?..so what do you do?.pull over?..and pee beside your car?.cross the ditch??jump into some bushes?.do what you can?but you do it.

So here I am the other day coming back from MTL?.it was mid morning and I was almost to Ottawa??.but as I said the urge hit me to pee?and there was no way I would make it to town without having to make the stop??.

So??.I pull over??get out of the car and open the passenger door?..put my back to oncoming traffic?and face towards the open door and pee?

I do this so people do not look in their mirror on the way past and drive off the road?.heheheheh??

So as I start to pull up my zipper I hear the sound of a car coming to a halt behind me on the shoulder of the road.

I turn around and what do I see but one of our good old black and whites??the trust worthy O-dots?..or more commonly known as the OPP pulling in behind me?..

?hello officer? I say?smile on my face??.? There is no problem?..I was just about to head on my way?

The officer looks at me as he walks towards me?a stupid look on his face?.? Well sir?..I have to ask?..did you just stop and have a pee at the side of the road??

?uh?yes?.you know the coffee sometimes does not let you get all the way to town?hehehe??..I like cops and always treat them with respect and a little humor?it often reduces the tickets and time sitting around.

A bit of a smirk goes across his face?? well I am sorry sir but I am going to have to write you a ticket.?

?What?......for what reason?....I was not blocking or hindering traffic?

?No sir you were not? says the officer?.he leans back and rests on the hood of his cruiser. ?You see, there have been complaints of people stopping at the side of the road and doing what you are doing??and well?..the people who live beside the highway have been complaining?.so we have to report and act on their complaints?

Well?.I started to smile and laugh?not real hard laughing?.but you know..ha..ha..ha?

So in my usual humor I say ?You have got to be kidding right?....what is the fine for?

?Indecent exposure?..public urination??.straight face?this guy would be an awesome poker player??..and I told him that?..and he actually laughed?

But being the type of guy I am?.?So?..how much is this going to cost me??..and am I going to loose points?.....?

?No points lost on this sir?..it is not a traffic fine as much as it is a minor offence in this case??.?

I laughed again???please officer?do not say the word ?minor? when referring a ticket being issued on the fact that I had my manhood exposed??.hahahahah?

I agree to the ticket and mark it down to no more coffee when I travel??

He then hands over the ticket?..again the poker face is amazing on this guy?.

I look at the ticket and exclaim?.?$90 bucks!....you are nailing me $90 bucks for pissing on the side of the road??.this is funny?

As the officer walks back to his car?..he looks back and says??.

?sorry sir??.it is based on $10 per inch exposed?

[Cato 160314]

I think there's a typo in your post. You mean $100 per inch exposed, don't you, antlerman? :wink:

[Genwar 101]

I travel from Montreal and Ottawa and also between TO and Ottawa...

 

And we all know that sometimes we head off with our morning coffee in the dash and listen to the news as we head off into the morning sun.....or drive off into the sunset with a nice after dinner coffee to keep us awake till we get to our destination.

 

For me?.coffee sometimes makes me go pee shortly after I drink it?.some times it takes a while?..and while these urges are random?it can usually be planned to happen at the good old rest stops??..while they are still around??

 

Sometimes??.the urge hits and there is no rest in site so to say?..so what do you do?.pull over?..and pee beside your car?.cross the ditch??jump into some bushes?.do what you can?but you do it.

 

So here I am the other day coming back from MTL?.it was mid morning and I was almost to Ottawa??.but as I said the urge hit me to pee?and there was no way I would make it to town without having to make the stop??.

 

So??.I pull over??get out of the car and open the passenger door?..put my back to oncoming traffic?and face towards the open door and pee?

 

I do this so people do not look in their mirror on the way past and drive off the road?.heheheheh??

 

So as I start to pull up my zipper I hear the sound of a car coming to a halt behind me on the shoulder of the road.

I turn around and what do I see but one of our good old black and whites??the trust worthy O-dots?..or more commonly known as the OPP pulling in behind me?..

 

?hello officer? I say?smile on my face??.? There is no problem?..I was just about to head on my way?

 

The officer looks at me as he walks towards me?a stupid look on his face?.? Well sir?..I have to ask?..did you just stop and have a pee at the side of the road??

 

?uh?yes?.you know the coffee sometimes does not let you get all the way to town?hehehe??..I like cops and always treat them with respect and a little humor?it often reduces the tickets and time sitting around.

 

A bit of a smirk goes across his face?? well I am sorry sir but I am going to have to write you a ticket.?

 

?What?......for what reason?....I was not blocking or hindering traffic?

 

?No sir you were not? says the officer?.he leans back and rests on the hood of his cruiser. ?You see, there have been complaints of people stopping at the side of the road and doing what you are doing??and well?..the people who live beside the highway have been complaining?.so we have to report and act on their complaints?

 

Well?.I started to smile and laugh?not real hard laughing?.but you know..ha..ha..ha?

 

So in my usual humor I say ?You have got to be kidding right?....what is the fine for?

 

?Indecent exposure?..public urination??.straight face?this guy would be an awesome poker player??..and I told him that?..and he actually laughed?

 

But being the type of guy I am?.?So?..how much is this going to cost me??..and am I going to loose points?.....?

 

?No points lost on this sir?..it is not a traffic fine as much as it is a minor offence in this case??.?

 

I laughed again???please officer?do not say the word ?minor? when referring a ticket being issued on the fact that I had my manhood exposed??.hahahahah?

 

I agree to the ticket and mark it down to no more coffee when I travel??

 

He then hands over the ticket?..again the poker face is amazing on this guy?.

 

I look at the ticket and exclaim?.?$90 bucks!....you are nailing me $90 bucks for pissing on the side of the road??.this is funny?

 

As the officer walks back to his car?..he looks back and says??.

 

?sorry sir??.it is based on $10 per inch exposed?

 

 

 

 

hahahahaha!!! You had it all out didn't you Antlerman. that will teach you to take it all out! hahahahahaa!!!!!

[rickoshadows 937]

?sorry sir??.it is based on $10 per inch exposed?

 

You could always dispute the ticket in court and hope for a female judge.

[Newton 714]

Haha. You can always go to court and then ask for a measurement. Your fine could be reduced to under half of it.

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[NotchJohnson 214123]

Don't try to fight it antlerman.....you will be the laugh of the courthouse. Just saying, he never really went and measured it himself, so its your word against his.

BTW, where did you get your coffee between Montreal and Ottawa?

[NotchJohnson 214123]

I found the picture taken from the police car of antlerman doing is business.

 

[Peachka 4334]

Empty Gatorade bottles (with the wide mouth of course) are great to use while driving! :-P

[moonshadow 369]

Thanks for the ... Ummmm...heads up antlerman.

 

I've always kinda known peeing beside the highway is a no no...but

never heard of anyone actually get fined for it.

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