Jump to content

Shit!!! I've fucked up

Recommended Posts

Guest s******ecan****

Post your best stories of times you dropped the ball.

 

I remember the first time my brother let me drive his new jeep. He was one of those who liked to back into the driveway to park. So when it was time to try it by habit I put the vehicle in reverse, hit the gas and backed into my old man's caddy, to make things worse I panicked and tromped on the gas instead of brake and rammed it a 2nd time.

 

Not my best day.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, you definitely fucked up there! Lol! I have sooo many 'I fucked up' stories!! The only one I can think of right now is a few years ago I accidentally somehow pocket dialed a friend while I was having sex with my boyfriend lol I noticed a couple hours later and saw that she listened for 7 minutes....hahaha of course she denies that part, though hahah. I was definitely a little embarrassed but I laughed about it later :D

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Scott, I will assume most people's list would be super long. I will start by sharing my earliest really bad f up moment.

 

I was about 8 or 9 and my mom's boss invited us for a winter BBQ. He was (or so I thought then) a bigwig. Huge house in the country and skidoos! My dad let me sit in front of him and steer! I was so proud and so confident! We had a wonderful ride on the trails and I was sure I could bring us back to home base! For some reason I panicked, hit the gas and plowed into the corner of the garage! Totalled the skidoo and broke my dads arm....ah memories! Lol. Funny enough, my next memory includes injuries to my dad :(. He is awesome by the way!

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Age 4: was painting my nails in secret behind the couch using bright red nail polish and my mom's fancy placemats. I spilled all over the placemats. At least it wasn't the carpet?

 

Age 15: making grilled cheese and need to melt butter. I stick the entire bar of butter with foil wrapper into the microwave. Microwave destroyed.

 

Age 21: Reheat a Wendy's burger in the microwave with foil wrapper still on. Microwave two destroyed.

 

Age 32: Making a smoothie in the blender. Blender gets jammed with fruit chunks in the bottom. Stick a fork in it while still on and spray smoothie and fruit chunks everywhere, in addition to destroying the fork. Blender, thankfully, survives.

 

 

I may be doing a PhD, but you'd never know it given some of the dumb shit I do on the regular.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Age 4: Was playing in the refrigerator one afternoon and put butter in my hair minutes before my mother was taking my dad to the airport on one of his many business trips. He missed his flight as a result.

 

Age 15: Moving to a new house. Was moving things with my sisters and we jumped out on the passenger side. For some reason the mini van went into reverse ( dont ask me how) as I jumped over the seat and the car start rolling back with my youngest sister in it and went right on the neighbor's lawn hitting the fence. Luckily it stopped there because they had a pool on the other side.

 

Age 26: was moving things around in a condo downtown. Had to move the sofa so I put boxes on the balcony. I threw the light weight box on the ground and out came a 10 inch pink dildo rolling on the balcony. Before I could step outside and catch it, it slipped under the glass partition where there was a space and went down 15 floors. Before I could look over and about to cringe, all I could hear from down below was "wtf?!!!" in an extremely loud voice. I'm assuming someone walking by on the sidewalk on Somerset st in Ottawa literally got hit on the head with a flying dildo from 15 stories high.

Posted via Mobile Device

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was walking on Somerset st. in Ottawa and all of a sudden a 10" pink dildo hit me on the head, it must of came from the 15th floor and I screamed "WTF" and I did not see anyone. I still have the dildo in a box at home waiting for someone to claim it. J/K

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I recently had to go to the courthouse with a friend. I carry a large Coach bag, and it literally has EVERYTHING in it. Any who, there was a high profile trial going on, and they had the metal detecters and CT Scanners that everyone had to go through. So I put my purse in the basket to go through the CT Scanner,and I walk through the metal detecter and of course, my bag had to be checked because the officer said there was a pair of tweezers in my bag. So the officer empties out my bag to find these tweezers, but ends up finding my GIANT 8.5 INCH HOT PINK DILDO. Not only did he find my dildo, he waved around for everyone in the lobby of the courthouse to see. I think I died, resurrected myself, and died again. The worst part, it took the officer about 20 seconds to realize what he was waving around. Needless to say, he totally forgot about the tweezers. F.M.L. lol

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was getting ready for an early flight to Toronto, and don't do mornings very well.

 

So, I decided to wash my hair, so I wouldn't have to do it in the morning. After I washed it, I reached for the mousse, and put it in. However something was not quite right. I then looked at my mousse, and realized it was the flea treatment for the cats.

 

My hair was silky shiny, and not a flea in sight. Gawd.

 

When I got married, my son was a newborn, and I nursed him. We were piss poor, and I couldn't afford the proper pads nursing mums use. So, I would cut a period pad in half, and use them instead. I borrowed a beautiful white dress for the occasion. We got married, and afterwards at the reception, I had to take my baby to nurse him. My new sister in law (all of 8 years old), wanted to come with me. Once we got to the washroom, she turns to me and asks...

 

"Why do your Breasts say "always?"

 

I'm a bit confused.....

 

She says again, "your breasts, they say always."

 

Then it hits me, I didn't remove the wrapping to the sticky part. I'm like looking in the mirror, and sure enough, it's clear as day. Not one adult mentioned this, it was an 8 year old child.

 

I later asked my new husband, did you notice it? He replied yes, I asked him why he didn't mention it, and his reply was

 

I thought that was your wedding present to me.

  • Like 9

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...