shy guys and sp

[shortdude 100]

it seems that us (me) shy guys get a hard time trying to book,it seems sp providers (nameless they know who they are):P seem to get there backs up and are very rude at times... so i must ask what quetions do you others ask,i have only seen a few sp,i tend to be a regular to one not many lol...so any and all info would be appreciated..ty in advance

[Ryo83 604]

Most reputable ladies don't like to be asked about their rates, especially when they have their rates on their ad/website. One thing to NEVER do is ask if rates can be lowered.

 

I will admit, though, a personal pet peeve of mine:

 

Ladies whose rates are nowhere to be found.

 

There have been some ladies that I have REALLY wanted to contact in one form or another to set up a date to meet. However, I have been deterred quite a few times because they either don't have a website, or their website does not include info about rates.

 

Now, don't get me wrong... I'm not trying to sound cheap, as there are times I will "splurge" and spend 2 or more hours with one of the ladies that I feel very comfortable with.

 

However, I have learned over time that most of the ladies do not like to discuss rates. From my point of view, it is not fun to contact a woman who has no advertised rate because I would have to ask her about it. Also, it is not fun to make a rendezvous with a lady without asking her rates because there are some ladies who charge a lot more than other ladies. Quite frankly, I do not have as much disposable income as some of the other hobbiests may have so I need to be able to fit a lady's rates into my budget.

 

I will use Belle Bordeaux's website (I hope she doesn't mind) as a perfect example of how a lady might take care of the business portion of a meeting before it even begins.

 

She has a display of multiple options/times for rates and also requests that hobbiests have it in an unsealed envelope and that they place it on the coffee table upon entering her incall location.

 

This leaves no questions to be asked regarding the business (the least fun part) portion of the meeting.

 

 

 

Secondly, I would not ask a lady to "forget" about one or more of her restrictions.

 

Being a guy that's also on the shy-side, I just try to ask very simple yet open questions that can let the SP do more of the talking (nice day/weather, how was your weekend, etc etc).

This way you also get to learn more, faster, about the SP. I feel that letting the SP do more of the talking helps me feel more comfortable with the SP as I learn more and more about her, which opens up more of my options to converse about myself, if asked.

 

At first, if asked a question, I can tend to give very short answers that may seem to leave the inquirer unsatisfied. I'm sure most other shy-guys can relate. Ladies, PLEASE do not take this as an insult! :)

[Jolie 3396]

I do not have a website as of yet I have asked a few people if they could set me up but it has not panned out yet and when it comes to computers I am USELESS so I have yet to get one. However I have no problem letting someone know what my consultation fees are over the phone and the only times I get insulted is when the conversation starts with Yo waz up (sorry not my thing)or they try to talk me down or even get insulting about my fees specially since I am VERY reasonable. I know what it is like to be shy and I get where you are comming from but look at it this way we are sharing a very intimate part of ourselves with you and for me atleast I am very open about it so take a deep breath ;) and get busy boy you are wasting time lol .

[Soleil Sublime 38108]

Personally, I like the challenge of trying to get a shy guy to relax and open up a little. May not happen the first time around, but it's always very satisfying knowing you've made them feel comfortable enough to just relax, enjoy and be themselves.

[cat 262460]

I am perfect example of someone who does not advertise rates, and I only advertise on occasion. My approach is simple, someone sends me an email to say "Hello, I may want to meet you." and I send an introduction with a little bit about who I am and all the details. I don't expect clients ask "how much?", the onus is on me to inform them.

 

The key is to understand that being shy doesn't mean there can't be a great connection and like Soleil, I love to bring someone out of their shell. If you receive short or unsatisfactory responses from an SP, move on. There are plenty of us out there that will welcome your inquiry.

 

cat

[Kyra.Graves 23779]

it seems that us (me) shy guys get a hard time trying to book,it seems sp providers (nameless they know who they are):P seem to get there backs up and are very rude at times... so i must ask what quetions do you others ask,i have only seen a few sp,i tend to be a regular to one not many lol...so any and all info would be appreciated..ty in advance

 

If you have difficulty asking the information you need you may wish to look at using a different medium to talk, sometimes it's difficult to get the phrasing right over the phone but in an email you can review your questions to ensure the tone is correct. The reverse may also be true for some, I have spoken to some people where English is their second language and they struggle with the nuances of the written word however on the phone they feel much more confident. Find the medium that you are most comfortable in and connect with the lady in it.

 

In regards to asking specific questions, take a moment to review them and the phrasing and see if it's something the lady may find offensive or if you are contacting the wrong lady for the type of service you seek. A common misconception is that all ladies offer similar services but they do not, contacting a lady that promotes "companionship" and asking for a detailed menu of services will not be received well, much the same that contacting a lady that advertises explicit sexual services is not likely to entertain a lot of emails that ask questions not specific to her services.

If you are finding that more often than not the ladies are not welcoming your question than you may find the question itself isn't appropriate, at least at your current relationship level. The companions in this industry learn over time there are certain questions we don't ask our dates in initial exchanges, these questions can often appear nosy or intrusive to our clients personal lives but if we continue to see them and develop some trust in the relationship the question is a part of everyday conversation. The reverse is also true, sometimes you need to establish a level of comfort with a particular lady before asking certain questions, this may not assist you in deciding which lady to see but in every exchange there is some level of risk, the lady doesn't know you so she cannot say where on the YMMV scale you may be.

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

Ok if I got this right shortdude is saying he has difficulty breaking the ice when calling a lady and finding the right approach when asking questions.

 

Well, yes as Ryo83 commented reading a website is important in order to decide if you are ok with things mentioned there (rates, do's & don'ts, etc.) the call is step 2. Now, if the lady you are interested in seeing has no website and does not mention rates anywhere in her ads then IMO you can still call just to let her know you would like to meet her and would appreciate her sending an email/PM with the information you need to know before booking and what you need to bring to the appointment as well as if she has any requirements like reference, your contact info or anything like that.

 

I personally have been asked on the phone for my rates and simply respond I do not discuss that on the phone but they can be found on my website but there is no reason to be rude to a potential client especially if he is being respectful to the lady.

 

Like they say ... 'the secret to success is to treat customers as if your world revolves around them.'

[Ryo83 604]

Thank you for some insights, ladies.

You are obviously some of the nicer ladies around, because from a hobbiest point of view, there have been 3 or so instances where I could not find info on an SP's rates/etiquettes anywhere. This resulted in me asking them via email/phone (case by case basis).

For these 3 or so cases, I had received various negative responses telling me that it's rude to ask about rates (as if I'm supposed to know how much to bring... I've seen women who ask $100 and have also seen women who ask more than $400/hr. Hobbiests can't be expected to pull and ABM out of their arse if they didn't bring enough)

 

In one case that I hope to never experience again, I had asked about a lady's rates. She replied that she will only discuss that in person. I went along and we met up at a Second Cup to discuss our date. She then said she'd only discuss rates out of the public eye (understandable). At the END of our two hour venture, she requested $1,200. I was quite disturbed as I know it's inappropriate to haggle rates. But expecting a client to pull that kind of cash out of his arse with no prior notice just seems wrong to me. Also, the SP shouldn't have to watch the client leave to go to an ABM to scrounge up the difference between the $500 he brought and the $1,200 she requested.

 

Am I not seeing something? Am I in the wrong in some way? I am not clairvoyant and don't think that the situation was dealt with professionally by the SP.

 

This is in no way a general reflection on the majority of SPs as this only happened to me one time. But it makes a good example of some of the cases that can discourage clients from SPs who do not show upfront information.

 

Some ladies don't mind being asked about rates, some do. Some are seemingly offended by it.

I am not willing to take the risk of offending one of the wonderful ladies, as I don't yet know if she is the best SP I've yet to meet! :)

 

Additional Comments:

I'm sorry if i went a bit off-topic, but the independent ladies out there are basically running their own business.

 

The clients are the customers and should be treated as though they are valued. So they should be informed of the services to be rendered, costs, conditions, etc..

 

It goes both ways. The Customer should show appreciation to the SP as well.

 

I am aware that i may sound like a bit of a jerk at the moment. I could supply a few references from some of the wonderful ladies on CERB to say otherwise, but I am just hoping that 1 or two of the SPs out there (you know who you are) read this and understand that hobbiests face obstacles just the same as the SPs do and that not all hobbiests are just "Johns" with cash to be sent out the door ASAP.

 

Client/SP relationships should be developed and nurtured, and be left allowed to prosper.

 

This may sound like old news to a lot of you ladies, but there are some ladies out there who don't seem to understand this.

 

Sorry for such a long blurb :P

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

T

In one case that I hope to never experience again, I had asked about a lady's rates. She replied that she will only discuss that in person. I went along and we met up at a Second Cup to discuss our date. She then said she'd only discuss rates out of the public eye (understandable). At the END of our two hour venture, she requested $1,200. I was quite disturbed as I know it's inappropriate to haggle rates. But expecting a client to pull that kind of cash out of his arse with no prior notice just seems wrong to me. Also, the SP shouldn't have to watch the client leave to go to an ABM to scrounge up the difference between the $500 he brought and the $1,200 she requested.

Wow. Where on earth are you meeting your SPs? This is not normal. Even if that rate was agreed upon, I'd never deliver services without payment and let a client run up a $1200 tab.

[Ryo83 604]

for obvious reasons I won't say where this meeting was (though it was not in Ottawa) and it was a couple of years ago.

If anyone wants more details, PM me.

Though I'm not even sure if she still works anymore... She is not on CERB and her website looks as though it has gone under.

 

But still, I was only using it as an example. :)

[fortunateone 156618]

Wow. Where on earth are you meeting your SPs? This is not normal. Even if that rate was agreed upon' date=' I'd never deliver services without payment and let a client run up a $1200 tab.[/quote']

 

 

I totally agree.

 

And my word of advice is you never commit yourself to any appt with any sp until or unless she provides rates. As mentioned, at a more courtesan level, it is likely she will not have a list of acronym services on her ad or site (or if asked) but generally a professonal lady provides at the minimum a safe gfe service. The exceptions would be where the client is not looking for that.

 

I have one word of advice for all clients (and by extension to sps) and that is if the sp refuses to discuss rates and services (assuming they don't want to guarantee bbbjs or kissing, but do provide them ymmv), then DO NOT BOOK AN APPT WITH THEM EVER. Hopefully, eventually they will learn from this and realize they are running a business. It is not classier to not provide the client with the information they need to make an informed decision. If they claim it is not legal to discuss them, then direct them to google the laws of Canada (or on this site) to educate themselves to the fact that it is legal.

 

I do not expect that all sps are going to list rates and specific services on their sites, because many of them market to the US and they cannot provide more than just rates.

 

I was also going to comment on the envelope thing (which to me is an affectation of perceived "class" which is ridiculous). When an sp offers several different packages at different rates, and won't discuss details about it, and you stick an undisclosed amount in the envelope, how does she determine which session option you have chosen lol.

 

You see, at some point, classy or not, details MUST be determined. Or you will have someone paying for 2 hours hustled out in 1, because the sp didn't bother to check the donation to find out that was your choice. Or you say wow she let me stay overtime and she thinks at the end of the date you shortchanged her, because she figured your donation was for 1.5 hours.

 

 

See, ridiculous. Hand the cash over, verify and confirm what you are there for and expect, and there is very little chance of misunderstandings and frustration. in other words, get over it.

 

For the OP and r, if the info is not provided in ads etc (and keep in mind in some sites this info is not allowed (like CL) or providing them can be problematic, then you must ask. I would suggest you contact her by her preferred method, introduce yourself (a description is not necessary), but just that you are in .>>> and thinking about an appt for <<<< and noticed that she did not include rates information on her ad, and could she please let you know what they are. You don't have to explain yourself, because she already knows that she did not include this info and she knows she is expected to do this.

 

Additional Comments:

for obvious reasons I won't say where this meeting was (though it was not in Ottawa) and it was a couple of years ago.

If anyone wants more details, PM me.

Though I'm not even sure if she still works anymore... She is not on CERB and her website looks as though it has gone under.

 

But still, I was only using it as an example. :)

 

 

It is a very bad way to do business, and either she was in it for the short term or she understandably had to either bury that persona or quit.

 

This kind of practise (in Canada) is very unusual, I think you may never encounter such a thing again, not because you learned a valuable lesson, but because this kind of thing is so unusual this is the first time I have ever heard someone actually doing this. Maybe she was American and did it american style (all the hedging around to give out the info) but standard practise is to get paid up front, so someone who chooses payment after, meets first in public, etc, that is just odd and (imo) a huge red flag of do not do that.

[Doc Odd 103]

So far as I can tell, OP doesn't specify what it is that he has trouble talking with an SP about. I don't generally ask any questions myself when I book; I tend to book SPs who have ads that answer all my questions, or sometimes exchange E-mails or chat online with them before I book them. Maybe OPs problem is that he's asking questions that shouldn't be asked on the phone during booking?

[fortunateone 156618]

. Maybe OPs problem is that he's asking questions that shouldn't be asked on the phone during booking?

 

 

I can't think of anything that cannot be discussed on the phone, though. All services and rates for the services can be discussed, so the only thing really that might rub the sp the wrong way is being overly graphic, rude or aggressive in some way. I have not encountered very many shy guys who are capable of any of that kind of behaviour.

 

If an sp is offended someone needs to ask about rates even though she doesn't mention them anywhere, oh well. Move on, cuz clearly she is in the wrong business lol.

 

 

Also part of the biz is talking about them with a potential client in spite of the fact they are available on site or in an ad. Most guys have learned that what is written can be out the window when he shows up, so a verbal (or email) confirmation on a direct question coming directly to him is a great business tool. He can be much more at ease that nothing will change between hanging up the phone and showing up at her door. Most of the things in this business come about because of the things others do wrong. So when an sp gets paid in full at the beginning of the session, that is due to the small # of guys who plan to rip off sps. When a client asks specifically about rates & services, even if they can be found on a website, that is because a small # of sps (or often agencies) lie about what is available or what the real rates are. Unfortunate, but dealing with this in an up front manner puts everyone on the same page.

 

I think the OP should give us a clear example of what cause the ruckus from the sp.

[pjrd 324]

I would be curious as to what questions you asked these Providers and what you think made them angry. Everyone thinks it's about rates.

[BUCKIT 100]

If a CHICK (i know some CHICKS don't like the word CHICK) is gonna,BE RUDE,to me on the phone. No Thank You:). The Chick,could,be just havin a RUFF day,lots of phone calls,time of the month(i know)things just not goin right,etc.etc. Could be a HINT. Could have a TOUCH of rude,if you go visit. Or they,put on their HAPPY face. 50/50. Take a CHANCE,CUM in YOUR PANTS.

ps -Try,and be SMOOOOOOTH askin questions:)

pss - LISTEN:) to the LADIES:) GOOD:) replies:)

[Doc Odd 103]

I can't think of anything that cannot be discussed on the phone, though.

 

I know some SPs who refuse to discuss services over the phone. There are also some who just don't like tying up the phone for any length of time answering questions, though the phone people at agencies are more likely to have that attitude, since they handle multiple SPs and so get many more calls.

[Ryo83 604]

So far as I can tell, OP doesn't specify what it is that he has trouble talking with an SP about. I don't generally ask any questions myself when I book; I tend to book SPs who have ads that answer all my questions, or sometimes exchange E-mails or chat online with them before I book them.

 

 

This is exactly what I do 99% of the time.

[Guest s******ecan****]

I know some SPs who refuse to discuss services over the phone. There are also some who just don't like tying up the phone for any length of time answering questions, though the phone people at agencies are more likely to have that attitude, since they handle multiple SPs and so get many more calls.

 

 

Regarding "tying up the phone " you have to remember that some ladies are beset with calls from tire kickers, time wasters, and guys that just want to whack off while asking a lady about sex acts.

 

None of the SP's I know would object to a polite, business like discussion of rates. Some ladies prefer email, others don't mind the phone but all of the ones I have dealt with are happy to discuss (not negotiate) their rates and services offered. But you have to be polite, courteous and to the point. The ladies don't want braggadacio about our looks or abilities, they don't want negotiations, or comparisons with other ladies, or criticism or commentary on their rates, and they won't go for graphic discussions of particular sex acts etc. Its a good idea to learn and use the commonly accepted acronyms. No reasonable SP would hesitate to discuss rates or services offered, they prefer open communication. The last thing they want during a booking is drama over what "is on or off the menu" or what is to be left in the envelope.

 

As for the earlier post abou discussing the rate at a coffe shop that would be illegal as it would constitute public solicitation, if somone asks you to do this in the future refuse and end any further contact.

[Doc Odd 103]

Yes, I've heard SPs have a lot of trouble with time wasters. I wonder if shy guy ends up coming across as a time waster because he has difficulty getting to the points he wants to talk about.

[big AL 350]

Personally, I like the challenge of trying to get a shy guy to relax and open up a little. May not happen the first time around, but it's always very satisfying knowing you've made them feel comfortable enough to just relax, enjoy and be themselves.

 

well said.........

[fortunateone 156618]

I know some SPs who refuse to discuss services over the phone. There are also some who just don't like tying up the phone for any length of time answering questions, though the phone people at agencies are more likely to have that attitude, since they handle multiple SPs and so get many more calls.

 

I know, and they often use as an excuse that they are not permitted (by law) to discuss services, which is not true. If they don't have services somewhere else, I usually advise anyone (especially new) to avoid this type of sp. If she has a review that mentions the services, fine. I think agencies are hard to deal with too, often they don't know what the sps do or don't do, or it may take too long to find out, so suddenly the sp does everything (not true), and the client and sp are put in a bad place.

[Spinderella 1786]

I for one chose not to discuss services or donations, by pm, mail or telephone. By no means is that meant to drive people crazy! Lol, I guess that could be a tad frustrating;) the way I see it is by the time a meeting rolls around I've gotten a feel for the person(the way they approach and introduce themselves) I realize that it's my choice not to discuss those details, I'm therefor the one assuming any "risk" there may be( donation= whatever u feel would be appropriate, and if I feel differently I'll be sure and let you know for next time;) cuz that IS the main goal! knock on wood, I've yet to regret this =D

I will add one little rule of thumb " good sp's aren't cheap. And cheap sp's aren't good" lol =P

 

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[Seymour 3970]

Well - if guys are shy, then there is incentive to do your homework. Find someone you think you will click with, check the web site, communicate with the person and when your have ALL the information - make up your mind. Who in their right mind will commit to a meeting without key information like donation is beyond me. If that is how you manage your affairs you will definitely get screwed and not in a good way.

 

As for this comment " good sp's aren't cheap. And cheap sp's aren't good" - if a male member made that comment he'd be tarred and feathered. No one is cheap, this is about knowing one's client base and tailoring business requirements for the market one is in. At the end of the day what is good is all about the chemistry and mutual respect between two or more people, which of course lends itself to a good encounter. Donation is secondary in this regard.

 

Do your homework guys!

[Andee 220524]

I too get tired of time wasters, but I give everyone a chance to "clarify" what my services or rates are. I do expect them to have done some research and read my ads and/or web-site, but I for one, make sure they understand everything they are signing up for, so to speak before they come to see me.

 

I see no reason to blow a guy off or be rude who is trying to find out information to book an appointment if his questions are legitimate and not worded rudely, condescending or explicitly offensive. I am in the business of providing a service, and if I can't take 5 minutes to try and close the deal, then WTF am I doing this for. I don't have the luxury of the phone ringing off the hook and being able to turn clients away.

 

Not everyone communicates the same and I would rather be clear about what I offer and what the rate is, even at the risk of repeating what is listed in my website. I rarely get regret the clients who do end up seeing me and some of them did not start off communicating the best, some times.

 

I don't really understand what you mean by "shy" anyways. If someone is shy, then they should tell me that they are shy and I will reassure them I don't bite But I don't want it to take 10 e-mails back and forth for them to get "comfortable". If you're brave enough to do that, then you're brave enough to meet me in person and go for it!

 

My advice, do your research, be sure you want to see that lady before asking a lot of questions and tell her where you're coming from in terms of anything she should know to make the appointment more comfortable for you.

 

If she's any kind of a "professional" she will give you the leeway to get comfortable.

 

I am so sick of hearing about guys who waste SPs times and SPs who are rude without good reason to would-be clients.

 

I would say some people really need to adjust their attitudes (on both sides).

[stevecurious 42059]

I will add one little rule of thumb " good sp's aren't cheap. And cheap sp's aren't good" lol =P

 

I am afraid that I must strongly disagree with this statement! I have had the misfortune of seeing SP's who charge top dollar but provide a cold and rushed encounter not worthy of a repeat visit. However the opposite is also true, as I have met ladies who charge what might be considered "bargain basement" prices and provide a penthouse level performance! My two cents on this ever tiring subject!