Annessa 22743 Report post Posted September 9, 2010 As many people know i go to karaoke frequently....well tonight was a different sort of evening. sitting at the bar i ended up talking to a friend who mentioned a regular..."hey you know ****? the older guy who sang the oldies and Abba songs?" I happily replied "oh yeah! love that guy!" my friend regretted to tell me he passed away in his sleep the previous week. the first thing out of my mouth was "NO!!" as if my pathetic cry for injustice would make things somehow right....when i realized that no cry for unfairness would bring him back there were involuntary tears...then full on tears... once I had excused myself to the bathroom and collected myself i went outside for a cigarette to get some air....and one of the bartenders approached me and asked what had made me teary. i told him that I had just found out that he had died....and all he could say was 'yeah well he was a terrible tipper and he used to sometimes waive his empty water-glass at the end of the night...whatever, that was problematic for me" I couldnt stomach that someone had just died and all this server could do to comfort me was to say something petty about how he made his serving life 'difficult" I said...."I hope when i die unexpected that there aren't people shitting on me because i paid them a dollar too less at the bar...for goodness sakes!" I think this should be applied in all walks of life..........this is definitely making me re-evaluate my close relationships...we are only here for a small term, dont sweat the small stuff and love everyone and anyone who is in your direct reach, regardless of your opinions or clashings..... say what you mean to say to who you mean to say it to, because you never know if you'll get the chance to again. thanks for listening.....lets all drop our hates on here......its truly energy wasted towards something we could all bond though and share in. Lets not wait until its too late to recognize each other's bond...and for those who think this is a cheese approach, go for it. But I truly think that life is too short to sweat the small stuff. *huggs* 7 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
40ishsxaddict 203 Report post Posted September 9, 2010 Hey Annessa, I too lost a friend and coworker (43) unexpectaedly 2 weeks ago... he was an occasional golfing buddy, poker friend and all around really good guy. A very private person who didnt open up to the people and friends who could have and would have helped... Small signs were there but we missed them.... i've spent 2 weeks making sure people at work are alright, and talking one by one with people i know have big problems, so hopefully this kinda thing doesnt happen again... i decided to take next week off to decompress myself.... All i can say is let people know you care and yes, stop the petty 'hating' bs cause life's too short... I'm sorry for your loss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Royalfun 55449 Report post Posted September 9, 2010 thanks for listening.....lets all drop our hates on here......its truly energy wasted towards something we could all bond though and share in. Lets not wait until its too late to recognize each other's bond...and for those who think this is a cheese approach, go for it. But I truly think that life is too short to sweat the small stuff. *huggs* Thanks for sharing, Annessa. I think also that life is too short, and your appeal to drop our hates and to share is very relevant. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cato 160314 Report post Posted September 9, 2010 Nicely said, Annessa! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest s******ecan**** Report post Posted September 9, 2010 But I truly think that life is too short to sweat the small stuff. *huggs* Sorry for your loss Annessa....I know he wasn't a close friend or relative, but your reaction seems to indicate it is a loss just the same. Life is too short, we all know this yet forget to apply the lesson. Over the last few years I have known or have heard of at least 4 people in my social circles who have died within 2 years of having retired. In all but one case they had never done much other than work prior to retirement...waiting to experience everything then when they would finally have the time. But none of us know when our time is up. We certainly all believe we're going home safe tonight...but we don't know. All of you, don't just wait for tomorrow, and take some time to reflect on what you have accomplished in your lives so far, I'm confident all of you have had some really unique experiences, close your eyes once and a while and remember them, listen to some of your favourite music that really stirs you...live a little for gods sake and know that you have been given a great gift. Great thread Annessa...thanks for sharing Peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881 Report post Posted September 9, 2010 You are so right Annessa. Any time I have a fight with someone I care about if haven't heard from the person when my day ends, I call/text and let them know I'm not happy but I still love them. say what you mean to say to who you mean to say it to, because you never know if you'll get the chance to again. True and what I'm about to write may be a little out of topic (I apologize) but because life is too short, do yourself a favor and everyday take some quality time for yourself and do something you enjoy. I used to wake up early enough every day to have time to do things and not rush since who knew if that was my last morning ever, starting tomorrow I will do it again :D so I guess no more late nights on cerb for me lol But I truly think that life is too short to sweat the small stuff. *huggs* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Annessa 22743 Report post Posted September 9, 2010 well said scott........its true that any of us can go at any time without warning. I know this man did...no signs of sickness, nothing....heathiest guy for his age ever. Luckily I found out that the service is this saturday so I have some time to pay some last minute respects. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrgreen760 37785 Report post Posted September 9, 2010 Empathy and simple kindness seem sadly lacking more and more these days. There was upside in the bartender being a dick and knocking the man who passed. Moreover you were upset and he showed no empathy toward you. It doesn't take much, just a kind word or a touch or a smile and it can mean the world to someone. Life is way way too short and lots of us have experienced sad and sudden losses. Some times is takes incidents like theses to remind us that life is beautiful and we should never ever take it for granted. Be good to each other Peace MG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lowdark 5613 Report post Posted September 9, 2010 Excellent thread. I've been thinking a lot about the ortaility of some family members lately and it's convinced me to make more time for friends and family. They're whas important and should be treasured. Worry less about what other people think (they could be as bad as the bartender, or worse) and what makes you and yours happy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest gagagaga Report post Posted September 9, 2010 sorry Annessa, Last year someone very very close to me passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. There is nothing that can prepare a person for that, and no way to fix it or make it better. Almost a year has passed and I think about my friend every day. I miss so much about her. What I have chosen to focus on are all the things I learned from her that make me a better person. I try to make her proud even though she isn't here. Everyone handles death differently...do your best, talk to friends, talk to your friend who has passed, and try to make every day more good than bad. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipualipua 4704 Report post Posted September 9, 2010 "Vanity of vanities; all is vanity". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted September 10, 2010 One of the best things to come from something like this is a new found resolve to never let it happen again. "From the ashes comes a Phoenix, anew." I don't think a single one of us will escape this mortal coil without regret, one of those being not having said what we felt in our hearts before it was too late. I know it has happened to me. I wished I had the chance again to speak with friends and family that have passed to tell them just what I felt... and to actually spend meaningful time to get to know them better. I regret that sometimes my "I love you's" paid only mere lip service to what I really felt. Epiphanies of this nature come in all shapes and forms. Whether it is a perceived slight to the dead, or a personal awakening, it is important to heed that personal desire to relate your feelings. To say "I love you" to a friend, family member or someone that has touched your life is one of the easiest and best gifts a person can receive. I have had my epiphany... and I can rest assured that now the people in my life will know the love I have for them. So now you know... that if you are my friend or have had an impact on my life, I do, sincerely, love you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nicolette Vaughn 294340 Report post Posted September 10, 2010 Epiphanies of this nature come in all shapes and forms. Whether it is a perceived slight to the dead, or a personal awakening, it is important to heed that personal desire to relate your feelings. To say "I love you" to a friend, family member or someone that has touched your life is one of the easiest and best gifts a person can receive. I have had my epiphany... and I can rest assured that now the people in my life will know the love I have for them. So now you know... that if you are my friend or have had an impact on my life, I do, sincerely, love you. So true. :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites