Redefining 50's

[Loralee Reach 245]

From The Sunday Times

 

 

 

The women who are redefining 50

 

Jerry, Madonna and the wild new fiftysomethings prove this is the decade for work, sex, fun and freedom

 

 

BY: :jackoff:Emma Soames

 

div#related-article-links p a, div#related-article-links p a:visited { color: rgb(0, 102, 204); } When I was in my mid-forties, I left my house one morning all dolled up for a big day at the office ? the highest heels, my sharpest suit and the cleanest hair imaginable. I really cut the mustard, or so I thought. Tragically, I found my car had a flat tyre, so I stood in the road holding the jack, looking helpless. A young man stopped and changed the tyre while I burbled effusive thanks, and offered him a tenner. But he wouldn?t take it, saying, ?Oh, I?ve got a mother.?

I had never felt so deflated in my entire life. But the dirty Damascene deed was done ? despite considerable investment in the skills of a dermatologist, I realised that I did not look the age I felt. That I could indeed be somebody?s mother. Indeed, self-deluding fool that I was, I was somebody?s mother (and for a brief time I used to lie about her age, too).

Hitting your fifties does involve some painful moments of insight and a pervasive feeling of dread that the party is over. I was lucky that I got through these severe misgivings before my actual fiftieth birthday, which in itself demanded some thought: was I going to pretend that this was just another birthday party or should I declare my age? In the end, the invitations to the smartest party I?ve ever given went out with my age on them ? much to the annoyance of friends the same age who had decided to keep quiet about theirs. And now, some years into my fifties, I can say that this has been a great decade and I should never have worried.

It was unheard of even a few years ago, but now women in their fifties are in demand as fashion models and brand ?faces?. Many of the big names are still working and some ? see Twiggy ? have enjoyed a blazing rebirth. This season, we have Madonna (whose attitude to hitting 50 has been typical, if somewhat extreme: divorce, another makeover and a world tour) displaying her tush for Louis Vuitton; Marie Helvin, 56, playing poster girl for M&S?s new Portfolio range; and Jerry Hall, newly hired at 52 as the ?new old face? of Chanel, as she puts it. Dear Jerry may have been jilted in her forties, but here she is, out the other side, thriving as a fiftysomething singleton with a book in progress, languid and lovely ? and, with a Chanel toyboy at her side, looking fabulously fiftysomething. She said recently: ?A career is for life, a man isn?t.? And she seems to be right on both counts.

If these women are role models, they are pushing at an open door, as so many fiftysomethings are redefining the possibilites of the sixth decade. In the past three years, I have retooled my career, allowing me to work from home. I have more freedom, I have time for my friends and I have acquired a bolthole in France big enough to house small groups of friends and family. (It?s amazing how popular a pool in the sun makes you with people under 25.) And all the people I know who are reaching the same age seem to be having a seriously good time. I have friends who are newly single, some in blissful new relationships and just a few still happily hanging on in there with their first model.

Compare and contrast with the lives of our own dear parents. In their fifties, they were counting the days to retirement, making their wills and practising near-Buddhist levels of acceptance. Divorce was a rare event and not regarded as an option. Back then, a dark cloak of invisibility descended on women over 45. Perhaps after traversing the menopause without HRT, they were simply exhausted and happy to embrace grey hair and comfortable shoes. My mother never shopped at Biba in the way that I work Topshop.

The fashion industry has woken up to the spending power of fashion-savvy women in their fifties. (If you have that gene, you don?t lose it.) The recession is concentrating the minds of designers wonderfully, for they now have to follow the money rather than the red carpet: the over-fifties currently own 80% of the wealth of this country. If we are in a profession, we are probably at the height of our earning powers, our kids have left home and we are experiencing a giddy sense of freedom that quite often leads to the dumping of long-term partners. As Fay Weldon said recently: ?Women in their fifties instigate divorce because they?re bored. But there?s work, money and friends out there the other side of marriage. They?re after what comes next.?

And what comes next does include sex. A recent poll shattered the myth that sex stops at 50, revealing that 65% of the over-50s have regular sex ? also shown by the rising rates of STIs among the many in this age group who practise unprotected sex. (The thinking goes that we?re not going to get pregnant now, are we?)

With an arsenal of beauty products and procedures available, some cosmetic surgeons are finding that their fiftysomething clients expect the works ? face, breast reductions, liposuction. Fifty no longer looks old. It looks well-groomed, sophisticated and sort of ageless. As Tina ?I?m not 69 in my head? Turner told Saga Magazine last month, ?If you take care of yourself, 60 is nothing for women. These days, you can be the kind of woman you want to be.? Deepak Chopra, the wellbeing guru and author, agrees. According to him: ?We have been given a new old age.?

Thus, 50 may be the end of the beginning of your life, but it is merely the dawn of what comes next. It promises to be something very different to how our parents got old. Indeed, unless you have ambitions to be a television presenter, the 21st century is a great time to be a woman in your fifties. It?s much like swimming in the North Sea in August ? a terrible shock when you hit the water, but lovely once you?re in.