Walking Away Gracefully....

[Kate von Katz 49953]

I am so sorry you had to experience such an awkward situation :(

[50 Shades Raven 31380]

I don't see where your questions are too personal, it's just small talk, nothing had to be revealed that was too personal, what a jerk he is.

 

It's not like you were asking him for his specific address or when he was going to be home so that you could confront a significant other.

When are people going to lighten up?

[Guest st*****ens**ors]

That's wretched. I'm sorry someone's paranoia and narcissism (because let's face it, how could he be that oblivious to your feelings in this situation, however anxious he might have been?) marred your week.

[roamingguy 300292]

So sorry you had to go through this Emily. And it is bad that this guy's behaviour led you to write this post. I've had many wonderful encounters with you, and every time my heart pounds, I get weak in the knees and I'm left breathless. But feelings of paranoia, not at all. The small talk you'd have made wouldn't cross any boundaries, and is intended so two people can get to know one another and relax.

You are a kind intelligent lady who epitomizes the word professional. His actions are unacceptable and he certainly isn't suited for this lifestyle. He likely doesn't know nor care how his behaviour affected those around him, well specifically affected you

Again sorry you had to deal with this character

 

RG

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

I'd like to offer a different perspective, if opposing opinions are still welcome in these times.

 

I live in Hali and don't know all the hotels in the area. Occasionally I have scrambled to make it to the hotel on time given the typical 1 hour advance notice. One time I mistook which hotel(they had 3 locations) and ended up being 10 minutes late. It happens and it shouldn't be a big deal. Just stick to the original appt end time instead of seeing it as strike 1. I'm sure ladies have been late on occasion.

 

I wouldn't classify his comment that he was new to this as an intentional lie. "Been a while/new to this" both mean a reference is not going to be viable, in my book. Strike 2?

 

I also don't like knocking on a door with a housekeeper right there. They may not care but it might still concern someone that doesn't look at this lifestyle as old hat.

 

I just read a post on the "turn offs for a lady" thread where several ladies complain about guys asking "personal" questions such as "what do you study" and "what university do you go to". Maybe he just read that post earlier in the day and mistakenly thought he understood the ground rules.;)

 

You said in your post this was more frustrating and not threatening. I would chalk it up to nerves and move on. For the record, I find you quite charming and that just reinforces my opinion that this was simple nerves in a post c-36 world. No need to drag him through the coals.

[Phaedrus 209521]

Ugh. Sorry to hear you went through this, Emily.

 

I must say, though... having re-read the OP a couple of times, it really strikes me that what we have here sounds like a first-time client who's just nervous as hell, really not sure how these things are supposed to go, not handling a stressful situation at all well, and just digging the hole deeper every time he panics a bit more. "It's been a while" may have meant, "... since I last got lucky" rather than ".. since I last saw an escort"; it's not obvious to me that it makes him a liar, although obviously I wasn't there and don't know what was said or how.

 

Hopefully this guy has learned that seeking paid companionship is really not what's right for him, and won't do it again (at least, until/unless he sorts his head out).

[Charlotte Edwards 8590]

That's unfortunate. If someone is that paranoid and edgy it's best they never even make the appointment. We're only human and there can never be a promise of zero awkwardness when the client is against communicating at all and tells lies that complicate the matter.

 

I had someone new show up to my hotel 30 min early for his appt and ask to come up. I said there are people in the hallway a sports team is here let me see if they will leave before you come up. A few minutes later he asks just to come up I said I still hear talking in the hallway. He comes out of the elevator and texts me that he's leaving and uncomfortable. I said I'm sorry but you showed up very early and I told you the situation. I am discreet they don't even know I'm in here. If you leave I won't be able to rebook you. He got mad at me and left. I mean if you're that worried about seeing anyone why not do an outcall?

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Phaedrus 209521]

I mean if you're that worried about seeing anyone why not do an outcall?

 

Would that be any better? If you're going to be paranoid and believe that everyone you walk past in the hotel is going to somehow know who you're seeing and why you're there, then you're probably also going to believe that all your neighbours will see who's arriving at your house and know exactly why she's visiting.

 

If your head's messed up then this won't be fun for anyone, however you do it.

[Guest S****r]

I agree, too, that it is unfortunate. But I also feel for the guy. I doubt there was any mal-intent involved. I suggest not giving any energy to the memory.

[fortunateone 156618]

As an sp sometimes you get a feeling about the difference on how someone acts when they are simply nervous and how they act when they are putting on an act, with the specific intention always being to 'lookie loo' and leave.

 

if they are seeing a call and book and see on short notice sp without taking the time for emails, research or websites, fine, be sketched out nervous and paranoid thinking all sp ads are LE set ups, and bolt.

 

But seeing an escort like the OP, she doesn't set up appointments that way. there is plenty of time for doing all the things to reassure that we are not living in the USA with stings & so on, so that by the time they reach the door and knock, the presence of a housekeeper or even just the cart shouldn't make a bit of difference.

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

Emily, I'm sorry this happened. I'm always so cautious when asking questions when we first meet. When I bring up a topic like, what do you enjoy doing in your free time? Or What type of work do you do, it's not so I can gain additional information about my guest so I can then turn around and blackmail them. It's a genuine attempt to understand who they are.

 

I've met some who just are like pulling teeth trying to gain some chemistry with. I'm sorry, but I'm not a machine. I need some sort of connection.

 

However, I have to giggle to myself when a basic question gives me all the details to their life. Where they work, the specific details of their life I don't need to know on a first meeting. So I get the frustration guys feel when asked some questions, and some spook so easily.

 

However, this guy sounds a little like someone who really had no intention of going through with his appointment. Housekeeping in the hallway? Is he joking?

 

I had a client arrive at my hotel and there were 3 rcmp cars out front. He did text me to make sure everything was ok. Their presence had nothing to do with me, but yes, I could understand if he wanting to bow out. He did come to see me, and we kinda giggled about the fact that the cops were out front.

 

And he was cute too. Even funnier, I was wearing my Sargeant McLeod outfit for him, and he thought I had really gone all out to create the environment. Lol

[EmilyRushton 253372]

To clarify a few things, anyone I end up having a date with has had at least 5-10 emails in exchange with me - so we can get to know one another (nothing was off on his communication and he was forth coming via email). When one is nervous they usually are non-forth coming in emails as well as in person.

 

I asked him the questions I ask anyone (not like i asked of this address and SIN number) and have for almost all my time in this business. Ive dealt with nervous people in the past and non have ever pulled this type of BS behaviour.

 

He knew all too well where my hotel was as when we confirmed on the phone I made sure he knew where I was, where to park and where the entrance is. There is only one of the chain brand of hotel I was staying at and the only one at the intersection - so I'm sorry I don't buy I'm lost when he texted ( 15mins early and when I asked where he was parked it was a 5mins walk (even if he had to walk up the stairs, 8min max)

 

As for the housekeeper, she was 3 doors down and in her own world, he claims because she went from her cart into the room (the one she was cleaning) that is must be a sting. Im sorry you watch way to much A & E. People come and go into hotel hallways and rooms all day long, no one pays attention to much unless you bring it on yourself.

 

Im clear on my site and in my ads that we will be communicating before and during our date (after is up to you). Considering what i ask to screen is more invasive than what i ask in person, I don't buy nerves with this guy. (plus the first time I've had someone say my questions were too personal)

 

Someone who goes through as much communication with a companion as he did, should have some butterflies as we all do on a first date. Once inside the suite that is well lit with open doors and the person they booked standing in front of them after they are hugged should in most cases be able to breathe a sigh of relief. I even offered for him to look in the close or dresser if that would he help him relax to show I was "alone" and not part of a sting.

 

From my time in this biz, newbies have a way they act and this guy was no newbie he played my screening to be a douche. Im willing to bet that every SP he has booked he has played the same stunt with - after much thought I know when I have been played.

 

I get nerves and respect they do happen, but people serious about a date generally relax at some point, laugh and have fun. This was not the case.

[waterat 20911]

Emily, I hope this is the only time this ever happens to you and it does sound as if it was a time to walk away gracefully.

[OTRE 1087]

Hi Emily, I think you have the guy figured out. I doubt he ever intended to proceed with the date. I know from experience there is no way a chat with you wouldn't have put him at ease. Sorry you had that experience. You were correct to walk away.

[Charlotte Edwards 8590]

She's right. Especially when you are well known with a great reputation, and know where to stay and be discreet - to keep acting like everything going on means there's a sting? Someone isn't right in the head. If he'd ever been in a sting he would know that the girl wouldn't be well known and maids cleaning the rooms might not actually be maids. They clean rooms the same at all hotels. Park Cart In front of

Room with door open and clean inside. Seriously

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[TorontoMelanieJolliet 4458]

 

From my time in this biz, newbies have a way they act and this guy was no newbie he played my screening to be a douche. Im willing to bet that every SP he has booked he has played the same stunt with - after much thought I know when I have been played.

 

I get nerves and respect they do happen, but people serious about a date generally relax at some point, laugh and have fun. This was not the case.

 

I understand having that feeling. It's almost like it is a challenge for them to get through your screening process and they want to accept and defeat that challenge. I have had that happen too. So I know what you mean.

 

It leaves you feeling unsafe and wondering to what extent they will take this, or was it just a challenge and they are content and walk away. Those guys are always sketchy, and act all nervous, when they are full of it. So I see where you are coming from.

 

Don't worry about it any more. Could be someone who will report to friends on his conquest.. but do be aware that his friends may play that game too for awhile. So of course, be vigilant so as not to allow it to happen again. And find a way to put your foot down if you see it might be happening again to prevent further incidents like this.

 

Good luck!

[cinelli 22184]

I have seen hundreds of ladies in hotels over thirty years.

I have NEVER had a problem with anyone recognising me.

What goes on in these guys' minds?

Panicking over a housekeeper in the hallway is just plain sad.

[Brad 49548]

I have seen hundreds of ladies in hotels over thirty years.

I have NEVER had a problem with anyone recognising me.

What goes on in these guys' minds?

Panicking over a housekeeper in the hallway is just plain sad.

 

 

It is sad and unnecessarily , but perhaps the difference is, as you say, you've seen hundreds of ladies in hotels over thirty years.

 

I think sometimes those with more experience forget just how incredibly nerve-wracking it was the first time.

 

Now, for this particular gent, I'm willing to trust Emily's intuition. She was there and is experienced enough that if she says it was more than just the usual nerves in his case, then I believe her.

 

But looking at some of the responses to this thread in general it does seem like some have forgotten what it was like when new. Understandable, of course, but worth keeping in mind. I know I was very lucky that my first lady was so patient, as I made some mistakes that still make me shake my head at myself when I think back to them (forgot to leave the envelope out in the open despite reading over her website half a dozen times, etc).

 

The one time I was almost late was because I managed to take a wrong turn heading to a location in my own city...and worse, it was a place I'd even been to once before!

 

I can also see Zeno's point that sometimes it can be conflicting to know as what counts as "too personal". I certainly wouldn't have classified anything Emily asked in this case as being intrusive, but then, I also have to admit I wouldn't have realized asking someone what they study was so offensive, as others have now pointed out. But I guess that's one thing I like about this board, it helps me to keep learning!

 

Anyway, I don't mean to hijack this thread, since as I say I'm not questioning Emily's take on this particular situation and gent, and it certainly doesn't sound like there was anyway it could have ended happily with someone so paranoid and conflicting. But I did just want to observe that - in general - I think we can sometimes forget how we felt our first time and what those nerves can make us do.

[shortandsweetxo 1348]

I'm sorry this happened Emily. It's not fun at all when clients freak themselves out with too much TV and paranoia. I'm just glad you came out unscathed.

 

I will say, if a client genuinely is too nervous and uncomfortable with the situation they should be honest and leave a tip for the lady's time!

[Andee 220524]

As someone who just recently toured to a few cities, it is very unnerving when a client arrives at your hotel suite ( now knowing your location ) and makes some excuse eg cop parked down the street, front desk clerk gave him dirty look, housekeeping in hallway etc). It happened to me twice in 2 cities and the excuses were basically non-excuses.

 

My thought is if one is that uncomfortable about going to a hotel (especially an upscale one) then why book in the first place.

 

I am sorry you had to go through this Emily. If there is anyone who is forthcoming and honest about what your requirements are, it's you. For these guys to use such lame excuses for bowing out is just plain cowardly.

[Katherine of Halifax 113932]

I'm sorry this happened Emily. It's not fun at all when clients freak themselves out with too much TV and paranoia. I'm just glad you came out unscathed.

 

I will say, if a client genuinely is too nervous and uncomfortable with the situation they should be honest and leave a tip for the lady's time!

 

After all the time spent booking a new client if he enters my suite and is uncomfortable he owes more than a tip. I have done everything in my power to ensure a guests comfort, I have a lovely suite for him to relax in, have refreshments and prepared to engage in non threatening conversation.

 

I would expect nothing less than my full donation as I have done nothing wrong.

[Guest st*****ens**ors]

After all the time spent booking a new client if he enters my suite and is uncomfortable he owes more than a tip. I have done everything in my power to ensure a guests comfort, I have a lovely suite for him to relax in, have refreshments and prepared to engage in non threatening conversation.

 

I would expect nothing less than my full donation as I have done nothing wrong.

 

When I agree to provide a service for a client, I require a deposit to secure the agreement, and this deposit is non-refundable so that if they change their minds I'll still have some compensation for the time and effort I'll already have invested.

 

Is this a possibility for providers? Does anyone make a practice of this, even for first time visits, or would it be too much of a disincentive? I'm curious.

[Katherine of Halifax 113932]

When I agree to provide a service for a client, I require a deposit to secure the agreement, and this deposit is non-refundable so that if they change their minds I'll still have some compensation for the time and effort I'll already have invested.

 

Is this a possibility for providers? Does anyone make a practice of this, even for first time visits, or would it be too much of a disincentive? I'm curious.

 

Most gentleman I book especially extended time with offer a deposit or my donation in full. I have never taken an overnight without a large deposit or donation in full. Gentlemen that book with any established lady have no problem with this as if we have to cancel they know they will receive a full refund.

 

I do not ask for this at home , only while travelling.

[50 Shades Raven 31380]

When I agree to provide a service for a client, I require a deposit to secure the agreement, and this deposit is non-refundable so that if they change their minds I'll still have some compensation for the time and effort I'll already have invested.

 

Is this a possibility for providers? Does anyone make a practice of this, even for first time visits, or would it be too much of a disincentive? I'm curious.

I require a deposit for overnight appointments.

I agree with Katherine here, we make ourselves available for you with a lot of thought going into preparation.

We don't book other clients so that your time with us is strictly that, time with you.

 

Cancelling with almost zero notice, or you arrive and are uncomfortable in any way and want to cancel, I have still prepared this time for you.

I do expect to be compensated for my time.

[Ice4fun 78407]

If I gentleman "walks away" after arriving or cancels at the last minute then I would expect that the full payment should be made. The exception to this would be in situations where the reason for the decision not to continue is because of something which is the responsibly of the lady (bait and switch, lady not available at agreed upon time) but frankly in my experience these are the exception especially if you are booking with reputable ladies.

 

When someone cancels on or two days before a booking then the gentleman should follow the ladies cancellation policy which is normally some lower cancellation fee or no charge in my experience. Cancellation especially for touring ladies can be exceptionally challenging and can turn a potentially lucrative trip into a loss so it is a serious issue and this should be understood by us guys when we are booking. That said it is equally important for ladies to understand that sometimes situations change (not referring to walk aways just cancellations in general) and that there will be cancellations... they are part of the business so have a clear though out and fair policy for clients. I have had the experience where I had to cancel a booking with a very well established lady who was touring St. John's but when I contacted the lady about a 5 days before our date to tell her I needed to cancel and I asked her about her cancellation policy she gave me considerable grief which frankly is just not appropriate... I had never met this person before so there was no history on which to base her behavior. I call with plenty of time and asked about her policy and still got grief.

 

As for deposits... I totally understand why ladies would look for a deposit especially for longer duration bookings but frankly I would never give a deposit to a lady I have not met before but respect that it might be necessary for ladies to structure their business in this matter. I have learned over years that paying upfront can be problematic.

 

Just My Opinion