Games or Cold Feet?

[Brody Boivin 8445]

Couldn't find a thread to best accommodate this topic. I decided to just create a new one.

 

I had booked an appoinment with someone He cancelled because of illness. Fair enough that happens.

 

We then spoke some more, because I enjoy connecting before rendezvous and then today after a week of talking, he exclaims, That I am far too young for him.

 

I'd like to know why people think it's okay to do this? It's like a total other person! He apologized for wasting my time, which sorta helped, not really. I suppose he wanted to try something new, but I'm all about communication. I'm offended that he couldn't communicate anything tell NOW.

 

Sparing my feelings, or not. Dishonesty turns me off!

 

If I am not for you please don't waste my time. geeez!

[henryporter 1836]

Thanks for bringing this up Brody because it seems to be a topic both sides need to address.

Your situation is really unfortunate because you are a willing communicator which in my opinion helps certain guys make a decision.

Personally I like to establish a bit of back and forth if I am interested in you because it makes for a better and more comfortable encounter.

 

The chat room used to be a great place to meet and greet and feel things out.

No ladies seem to go there anymore so now I have to PM or text.

However I really feel like I am intruding and because its not a fluid conversation I begin to feel like a time waster if I send more than a few texts.

Kind of hard to get or stay enthusiastic when you feel like you're being a pain in the backside.

 

However if i invested a week of your and my time then I would not cancel or not book.

You have great info on your website and you seem to take the right approach in the way you handle things so don't let this make you change.

 

Not sure if its games or cold feet but it doesn't help any of us in an already tough lifestyle.

 

H

[Brody Boivin 8445]

Thanks for bringing this up Brody because it seems to be a topic both sides need to address.

Your situation is really unfortunate because you are a willing communicator which in my opinion helps certain guys make a decision.

Personally I like to establish a bit of back and forth if I am interested in you because it makes for a better and more comfortable encounter.

 

The chat room used to be a great place to meet and greet and feel things out.

No ladies seem to go there anymore so now I have to PM or text.

However I really feel like I am intruding and because its not a fluid conversation I begin to feel like a time waster if I send more than a few texts.

Kind of hard to get or stay enthusiastic when you feel like you're being a pain in the backside.

 

However if i invested a week of your and my time then I would not cancel or not book.

You have great info on your website and you seem to take the right approach in the way you handle things so don't let this make you change.

 

Not sure if its games or cold feet but it doesn't help any of us in an already tough lifestyle.

 

H

 

I gotta figure out how this chat room thing works. Sounds intriguing

[Some1LikeU 321]

As OC Transpo says: Respect & Courtesy are a 2-way Street! :-P

 

Unfortunately, this type of immature, deceitful and pathetic communication you describe is not only the hallmark of an un-professional failure of a person, but is all too common with people on but sides of the hobbying fence (hobbyists and providers alike; and of course, this is not restricted to just to the hobbying business).

 

Too many examples to possibly give - but imho opinion it's best Not to try and stop such behaviour (as you never will), rather learn how to quickly deal with such losers, cut them off, and move on to better things and people on life :-) Through the weeds you will find gems, as us hobbyists also do when exploring the landscape of lust we love to play in :-D Gems do shine... and then they get glowing Recos ;-)

 

This all leads me to think of the phrase in French: C'est la vie!

 

All the Best in 2016!

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

It's a common complaint among ladies about "timewasters". Some are playing games, I'm sure, and some get cold feet or simply decide a connection isn't happening. Too bad it takes a week of back and forth but we're not buying a hamburger here. We are trying to arrange a date with someone we think we might have a connection with. It's all about the GF experience for some guys and nothing wrong with that.

 

Eventually you'll get better at spotting the true time wasters. As for the other guys, that's just part of this or any other business where you're selling a service. I'd love to have a 100% closing ratio in my business for every person I spend my valuable time dealing with.

 

I'm not saying I also don't gripe about it but it's a numbers game for me. I talk to enough people I know I'll make enough sales.

 

Great threads, by the way!

[MightyPen 67414]

Yeah... some of those guys are just intentional time-wasters. But there are other reasons possible, too.

 

I suspect a lot of guys like the excitement of planning and communicating, dipping their toes in the fantasy... but balk whenever it comes time to act. They'll talk and talk, but never book. It's not exactly malicious... but it's inconsiderate, no matter what the reason behind it.

 

Also consider that people just have different states of mind at different times. What seems to a client like a great idea and an exciting adventure for a while, might eventually crash against the rocky shores of simple fear, a case of a suddenly cold heart, or just a bad day.

 

It's an especially pronounced hazard for providers in an industry that centers around the kind of impulses, desires, and fantasies whose strength varies from one day to the next. Lots of people aren't very capable, or consistent, when dealing with those.

[Guest st*****ens**ors]

Just to underscore the notion that for some clients, initial correspondence is a means of screening to ensure a connection. If the initial contact is welcoming but becomes brusque, or unpleasant in some way, a potential contact may lose interest.

 

Vulgarity or discourtesy may kill a client's interest as quickly as a provider's.

[Brody Boivin 8445]

Just to underscore the notion that for some clients, initial correspondence is a means of screening to ensure a connection. If the initial contact is welcoming but becomes brusque, or unpleasant in some way, a potential contact may lose interest.

 

Vulgarity or discourtesy may kill a client's interest as quickly as a provider's.

 

That's not the reason, that's for sure.

[Guest discr33t]

Maybe he was a scaredy fish that needed a softer line to reel in? Maybe he'll get hooked again, and with a gentle touch you'll bag one for the trophy wall!

 

I suggest it's only a game if your having fun, so it could be cold feet.

 

But its usually true that a hungry fish will go hard for it, and swallow the hook. If it's plentiful times, than certainly screen out the scaredy ones.

[Grass_Hopper 18263]

Brody,

I truly feel for you, but I have learn, as an older SP, that the X factor just happen. Nothing you can do about it. Don't be offended by it.It is impossible to satify to everybody's cretaria. Age is one.

 

You still have beautiful years to come, live your youth to the fullest and remember the X factor. You'll learn to get over it. It goes fast, in this buisness...

 

Kisses

[waterat 20911]

Brody,

....You still have beautiful years to come, live your youth to the fullest and remember the X factor. You'll learn to get over it. It goes fast, in this buisness...

 

Kisses

 

Sabrina, I completely agree with your advice but if we're talking chromosomes it is more of a guy thing i.e. a Y factor.

Brody: excellent sage advice for you!!

[roamingguy 300292]

Some are ignorant time wasters, no shows

Some like the idea of communicating with an escort. It excites them, but they never intend on going through with a date. But they know a companion wouldn't communicate with them just for the heck of it so they pretend they are a prospective client

Some fully intend right up to H Hour to go through with a date, but for whatever reason they get cold feet and can't go through. Maybe it's a married guy who at the last minute can't go through with an encounter

Or nervousness, maybe shy around women, or just the whole idea of a date with an escort scares him.

I know for myself, my very first date with an escort, terrified, beyond nervous :-). But I texted the lady my hotel and room number scared as I was. No way to cancel then. That first time got me past the hump of seeing companions. And all my other dates, even with ladies I have had repeated dates with, I still get nervous, weak in the knees. The day I don't is the day I leave this lifestyle

A rambling

 

RG

[Grass_Hopper 18263]

Some are ignorant time wasters, no shows

Some like the idea of communicating with an escort. It excites them, but they never intend on going through with a date. But they know a companion wouldn't communicate with them just for the heck of it so they pretend they are a prospective client

Some fully intend right up to H Hour to go through with a date, but for whatever reason they get cold feet and can't go through. Maybe it's a married guy who at the last minute can't go through with an encounter

Or nervousness, maybe shy around women, or just the whole idea of a date with an escort scares him.

I know for myself, my very first date with an escort, terrified, beyond nervous :-). But I texted the lady my hotel and room number scared as I was. No way to cancel then. That first time got me past the hump of seeing companions. And all my other dates, even with ladies I have had repeated dates with, I still get nervous, weak in the knees. The day I don't is the day I leave this lifestyle

A rambling

 

RG

 

I have to disagree.

 

As she will also learn (I hope), it's not all flowers and roses to provide a girlfriend experience. It's a lot more work.

 

First, I would like to thank Brody for not making any allusion to who it was. I have to salute. This is a high mark of respect, and is sometimes forgotten.

 

Second, some gents require more care and patience, and sometimes, for a reason or another, it just doesn't work. Some are really looking for a relashionship eventhough both parties are fully aware that no love is involved. Only cares.

 

Unfortunetly, we are refusing to often to see the cold truth, and this is consider as a time waster. As said before, we cannot satisfy everybody's createrias and being a girlfriend is a lot of work...

[Brody Boivin 8445]

Brody,

I truly feel for you, but I have learn, as an older SP, that the X factor just happen. Nothing you can do about it. Don't be offended by it.It is impossible to satify to everybody's cretaria. Age is one.

 

You still have beautiful years to come, live your youth to the fullest and remember the X factor. You'll learn to get over it. It goes fast, in this buisness...

 

Kisses

 

It wasn't the issue of not booking with me. Everyone has their thing. It just doesn't make sense, he would talk to me for so long when my age doesn't match his criteria.

[MightyPen 67414]

It just doesn't make sense, he would talk to me for so long when my age doesn't match his criteria.

His claim at the end that "you're far too young for me" could have just been an excuse he picked once he had decided not to proceed. His real reason could have been anything.

 

Because you're right; the age thing is something he would have known right from the start.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

You're right, it doesn't make sense given he used the excuse that you were not age appropriate by his standards. Another b.s. excuse. He should have known your age by reading your ad. Don't waste time with the time wasters anymore. If they are serious about booking an appointment, an initial conversation shouldn't take no longer than 10 minutes to get an idea of who you are and covering the basics and what you feel comfortable in letting them know the type of service you offer. You can always tell by a brief phone conversation and if the client will want to meet you or if you will want to entertain their request just by how they speak to you and the questions they ask and vice versa.

 

If they insist on talking more in depth before the appointment after everything has been covered completely during the initial phone conversation, my red flags go up. This tells me they are not serious and perhaps could be lonely but do not want to pay for my companionship. Remember we are running a service and I know myself that I provide excellent companionship but I am not a chat line. I let them know nicely that if they wish to speak to me more, they need to come and see me.

 

I do not have time to speak to people for a casual conversation with the promise of booking an appointment. Strangers who I have never met are not my friends either so why would I give them all my time to speak to them on the phone without a guarantee of anything but their word? While I enjoy what I do and who I meet, I have established clients that I dedicate my time to as well as new potential clients who have done their homework.

 

Talking to a client for more than a week indicates to me that they aren't serious about booking an appointment. Again, this isn't a dating service or a chat line. A person does not need to speak to you for a week before they meet you and we are not hand holders either. Good potential clients will have always researched you beforehand, will have read your website or even may have looked you up on this type of site to find out what you're about by reading your posts. Then they make their decision before contacting the provider.

 

There is no time for hand holders or babysitting the unusually cautious, sometimes even paranoid men because it usually never works out as they were not that serious to begin with. Don't get taken by them. There is a difference in being patient and understanding when meeting with clients as opposed to the ones who want you to be patient and caring but never ever booking an appointment and never meeting the provider in person. That is completely taking advantage of a person's time. One doesn't have time to wait around to see if they will be ever be a client when there are good clients waiting in the wings who actually want to meet. One phone conversation is sufficient enough to give someone a fair chance.

[Carrie Moon 68826]

I would have to agree that age was not the 'real' issue..

Nicolette is right (as usual).. usually time wasters whether nervous guys who will eventually book or are just lonely guys who will never book are in my opinion not worth the investment or waste of your own precious time... because many other clients are ready to book and will pay for your time to 'get to know you'.

 

I have for some time now offered cam sessions for just that reason... and some book me for cam several times and still admit they'll never get up the nerve to book in person.. so they will still pay for me time but keep a safe comfortable distance to communicate with me and enjoy a 'session'.

 

This works for me.. put your money where your mouth is.. it's a much smaller donation and some book right after one cam (or phone if they're even too shy for that) and some don't.. but either way I don't feel my time or energy is taken advantage of..

 

I get that you're more hurt by the feeling of connection you felt and being lied to.. but that's a part of life.. not just from clients.. and it sucks..

don't waste time on energy suckers.. just shake the dust off your feet and move on with integrity knowing you didn't lie :)

[Guest Prufrock Cummings]

I can only imagine how much it sucks dealing with all the no-shows. I look at how my dentist office operates: one month in advance I get a text message that my appointment is in one month (my dentist has my smart phone number how??), then an email at work the week before, plus a voice message to my home and office also a week before. This followed by two more text messages until 72 hours before. At that point if i cancel for reason except for illness, I get charged in full.

 

Why can't "gents" keep their appointments? I bet if they had no choice with some sort of cancellation fee maybe they would honour their appointments or else re-book in a timelier manner.