chocolove 150 Report post Posted January 30, 2016 Hi, I'm a black gents. I never had an appointment with an escort from any sites like bp, scarlet, etc (Usually I go to Asian agency escort). But Im currently looking for one but some adds has this 'no black gents' restriction so I stay away from them. But there are some that don't have it, so would it still be okay to make an appointment without telling you are black? This is not a complain or whatever because I understand these ladies has its own reasons. I just wanna know the appropriate way that will not hurt them or drama-situation to happen during my visits. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meaghan McLeod 179664 Report post Posted January 31, 2016 If they don't specify in their ads or website, go ahead and contact them. Many of us love seeing all races. 11 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Highsexdrivebabe 11800 Report post Posted January 31, 2016 Hi darling, If it is not mentioned it should be fine but to be extra sure when you give the lady a call just mention it babe. Personally when a gentleman does I make him feel very at ease as I have no problem whatsoever in meeting gentlemen of all races. I would even say I LOVE it as it brings so much fun and it si SO much more interesting!! Bisous all over!! Barbara xxoo 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grass_Hopper 18263 Report post Posted January 31, 2016 Ask her... Be straight forward and understand her choice if she refuses... 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
YoungBeautyMirella 5600 Report post Posted January 31, 2016 If she does not mention anything about not seeing a certain race or age etc, then it should not be an issure, but it is always safe to ask just in case! As long as you are respectful, have very good hygiene and are a kind gentleman(you can be a gentleman at any age!) then the lady will treat you very kind, I assure you! I would like to add, however, if you are seeking a lady on BP, try to do your research when choosing a lady, see if her pictures are real (tineye, google etc), see if she is on lyla, see if she has any reviews etc. Happy hunting :) 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meaghan McLeod 179664 Report post Posted January 31, 2016 I don't know. Isn't it 2016? I've never had a guy contact me and say "hey, I'm white, is it ok if I see you?" However, I do remember when I was in NB. Predominately white. So, I had someone contact me, to ask if I could see him as he was black. Of course I told him I'd love to see him. We had a great time. However, every time he called me after, he would say "hey, it's your favourite black boy, can I come over?" A little chuckle between us, as he felt lonely being the only black guy in the university course taking his mechanical engineering degree. The contrast of my pale skin and his deep colour was really nice. I miss him being out here. 8 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S****r Report post Posted January 31, 2016 I've never had a guy contact me and say "hey, I'm white, is it ok if I see you?" I had the exact same thought. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amanda-Lee 11094 Report post Posted January 31, 2016 It's something to ask or mention, but if you are unable to find anything in their ads or website (if they have one) then the chances are they don't have that restriction. I had a gentleman schedule a rendezvous with me and before anything happened he is like, "before we do anything, I know I asked on the phone, but are you really okay with a black man?" I explained where you come from doesn't affect me and if you walk in here green, blue, or red; it wouldn't matter to me, it doesn't define a person. He was glad because he expressed he's been insulted and thrown out of doors cause he isn't Caucasian. That isn't something to hear from another person, cause it is plain sad and heart breaking. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lastchance69 914 Report post Posted January 31, 2016 A little different but I'm a brown guy :) I always mention it when calling, even if the ad doesn't say 'no east indian'. It just avoids any awkwardness and saves everyone time and effort. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Exotic Touch Danielle 31728 Report post Posted January 31, 2016 Most times it is mentioned in the ad...and if not then I would assume race wouldn't be an issue...I myself love all races but I do have an age requirement which I do post I think the 'no black gentlemen' has been something of he norm lately so I would understand if you as a black/brown man would mention it or ask me would I mind seeing you .... just to make sure ... nothing wrong with that...better to know than not know Then that way you know your time will.not be wasted Good luck sweetheart and have lots of fun with it 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Annapurna 999 Report post Posted January 31, 2016 I'm black and race hasn't been an issue at least 99% of the time. I have met some great SPs and MAs on this site and the overall experience has been positive. I would also add that a number of people that I have met have been more genuine,kind and down to earth than my work colleagues. The only time that race was an issue was when I mentioned that I was black in advance after seeing a thread on Lyla and the woman didn't reply. I can only speak of my experiences (which have been good), but I can't speak on behalf of those who have had difficulties in the past(both clients and SPs). This is a sensitive topic for many and trying to find hard and fast rules that apply is difficult. My approach is not to contact anyone who has explicitly made their preferences clear; treat the woman with respect and according to any guidelines that she made beforehand; and, if you are turned down, stay confident that there are many ladies with outstanding reviews that would love to spend time with you. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loopie 15358 Report post Posted January 31, 2016 I think certain sites do not allow SP's to post ads that feature this type discrimination. Or at least, I know a few sites used to not allow such ads. So there may be SP's who won't see black clients, but they just don't mention it in their ads because they're not allowed to. There are SP's who discriminate on factors other than race. I would say age is usually the second most common (usually they prefer older men 30+ or 40+). What I usually do is when I contact an SP is I ask her the questions I want to ask, then I ask her "Is there anything you want to know about me?" This leaves the door open for her to do any screening she wants to do rather than having me guess what I think might be a dealbreaker for her. 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VedaSloan 119179 Report post Posted February 1, 2016 If it isn't mentioned, just go ahead and contact her. If you're really unsure, just ask. Privilege: never having to identify your race to a provider. The reason no white guy has ever said "hey I'm white, are you ok with that" is because whiteness is the invisible standard by which all difference is measured. It doesn't need to be stated because it's assumed. (*cough*socialjusticenerd*cough*) 11 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ice4fun 78407 Report post Posted February 1, 2016 If it isn't mentioned, just go ahead and contact her. If you're really unsure, just ask. Privilege: never having to identify your race to a provider. The reason no white guy has ever said "hey I'm white, are you ok with that" is because whiteness is the invisible standard by which all difference is measured. It doesn't need to be stated because it's assumed. (*cough*socialjusticenerd*cough*) Thanks I am glad you said that because as I have read the posts on this thread over the last few days I have been struck by my thought that it would never occur to me to think about my race when making a booking and that I really have no idea what that feels like to wonder if I will be accepted because of my skin colour. Not a very nice feeling actually but I guess it is good to have that brought to my attention. Before anyone jumps to the conclusion that I have a problem with a lady being upfront with her choice of who she is intimate with let me just say that I understand that there are many reasons that could go into that decision so I am not saying it's wrong.... just that the discussion has helped me learn something about myself. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grass_Hopper 18263 Report post Posted February 1, 2016 Have you ever think it was related to ''Willy'' 's size??? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S****r Report post Posted February 2, 2016 Speaking of privilege, this is a great exercise we use to communicate the concept: Privilege Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meaghan McLeod 179664 Report post Posted February 2, 2016 Have you ever think it was related to ''Willy'' 's size??? That is stereotyping. It really needs to stop. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grass_Hopper 18263 Report post Posted February 2, 2016 That is stereotyping. It really needs to stop. Nope. Offering certain services, I can attest that it can be an issue... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest *Ste***cque** Report post Posted February 2, 2016 Nope. Offering certain services, I can attest that it can be an issue... Aahhhh, Gwasshopper. If while building a house, a carpenter strikes a nail and it proves faulty by bending, does the carpenter lose faith in all nails and stop building his house? - Master Kan (Kung Fu, before your time) Translation: As with bendy nail assumptions, to suggest the willy's of Black men are overly large is by definition, a stereotype or oversimplified idea, since not ALL are. (Not basing this on any experience!:)) I do think however that many restrictions are typically based on stereotypes which may have been reinforced by a woman's particular experiences. That doesn't make it fair but it is reasonable in such a personal business. To the OP I would suggest that if it isn't mentioned in her ads it likely isn't much of an issue for her. If you want to avoid any chance of possible awkwardness at the meeting, then bring it up beforehand. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S****r Report post Posted February 2, 2016 and not all Asian guys have small ones, either. I can attest to both. The biggest cock I ever experienced belonged to a boyfriend I had, and he was white. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dread pirate roberts 4036 Report post Posted February 4, 2016 Years ago (pre-Lyla for me) I phoned an SP and booked an appointment, and towards the end she said something like "I should tell you, I'm black, does that make any difference?" I immediately assured her that it didn't - as, in fact, it didn't. But when we hung up I was sad for her that she felt she had to ask that, and slightly depressed to live in a world where she was probably right. This thread is full of sincere people doing their best to try to create a world where this is a non-issue, and that's great, but it's a disheartening state of affairs nonetheless. 6 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest discr33t Report post Posted February 6, 2016 Young brains in children cannot categorize new information so they fit it into their current understanding. I know dog, so I see a wolf, I call it a doggy. Works similar when you're older. I dislike people who are as rough, delinquent, unattractive, sexually repressive, not gentle, offensive, not generous, and if I imagine that person - they look this way.... Based on my previous experiences, and likely how I grew up. To avoid having these feelings show up on my face during an encounter I explicitly state no ....... I don't think any person would want to see the face of an SP expressing those thoughts in the first look they gave you. Think of the statement as a courtesy to yourself. I had enough of that in my real life, don't want to see it in my fantasy. .... Oddly enough, the higher prevalence of this statement in my area ads drudges up bad feelings, so it's one of the reasons I am taking a hiatus. I don't want to read something that makes me feel bad Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chocolove 150 Report post Posted February 7, 2016 I'm glad many of you answered my thread and from this I have learned something. However this discussion seems to start to grow towards another topics which I have no interested in it(black's willy, white privilege, stereotype, etc). But if some of you wondering what I have decided then I'll say that I would prefer to mention them in advance that I'm black. (if not interested, skip it) My reason is, if I don't say this in advanced than I'm already not a respectful person, regardless how much I treat her with respect or having a good times together. And it would be too naive to say(or assume) she had no problem, or enjoy it during our time together even though I didn't mention my skin color because most of providers started do this kind of job because they have no options. So they are already in uncomfortable situation which something I think it is needed to be respected and understand, especially for her spending some time with a strangers that have different culture and perspective that some providers have no experienced in it. And so for those ads that has "no black gents" in it then I would assume they are just beginners/amateurs. For those ads that put me on the dark, then I should always ask whether they can see me or not. I have also seen some ads that says all race/nationality/color is welcome, black gents welcome, accept black gents, even black gents above +30/40, (which nowadays I used to search)has showed me that stereotypes, discrimination or privilege isn't the main factor. I believe we all have preferences and this is one of the reason why man choose to look for providers because of the diversity of choices that is available and so women should have theirs choice who they want to be with, no matter who they are. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waterat 20911 Report post Posted February 8, 2016 What about if it's a black lady who just want to be discrete and avoid any chance of meeting people from her family? As I have said before Racism is only one reason why a lady may have preference.... True enough, Ice, it may not be a circumstance of racism. That being said, I haven't noticed many Asian providers restricting Asian gentlemen... nor Italians, Spanish, Russian etc. providers with the same sort of restriction. The ladies who post this restriction (and I respect their choice) have no way of ensuring the client won't lie (omit information?) and show up with no other reason than to check out the provider - and hopefully they proceed with the appointment. My point is the restriction provides little protection. If I show up at the door of one of my daughter's high school friends we'll BOTH (the provider and me - hopefully not my daughter! lol) have to just deal with it. Time has no reverse gear. This rationale seems earily similar to the concerns of hobbyists who are worried about whom they may see entering or leaving a spa.... relax already, you're there for the same reason! lol For me, I'm hoping I don't start seeing restrictions for middle-aged+, wasps and it doesn't impress me that the 'no black guys' restriction exists. I have a sense that this restriction exists for other reasons and I would be interested in hearing why from the ladies who post it..... but I'm not holding my breath. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ice4fun 78407 Report post Posted February 8, 2016 True enough, Ice, it may not be a circumstance of racism. That being said, I haven't noticed many Asian providers restricting Asian gentlemen... nor Italians, Spanish, Russian etc. providers with the same sort of restriction. The ladies who post this restriction (and I respect their choice) have no way of ensuring the client won't lie (omit information?) and show up with no other reason than to check out the provider - and hopefully they proceed with the appointment. My point is the restriction provides little protection. If I show up at the door of one of my daughter's high school friends we'll BOTH (the provider and me - hopefully not my daughter! lol) have to just deal with it. Time has no reverse gear. This rationale seems earily similar to the concerns of hobbyists who are worried about whom they may see entering or leaving a spa.... relax already, you're there for the same reason! lol For me, I'm hoping I don't start seeing restrictions for middle-aged+, wasps and it doesn't impress me that the 'no black guys' restriction exists. I have a sense that this restriction exists for other reasons and I would be interested in hearing why from the ladies who post it..... but I'm not holding my breath. Posts that suggest that ladies who have outlined a preference are racists or suggest that the personal reasons for that preference are silly or unrealistic don't really respect their choice. Is it realist to think that sometimes the decision might be based on Racism sure but likewise it is also realistic to think it could be for lots of the other reasons that ladies here have extoled endlessly in many threads s suggesting it is discrimination in all cases is wrong in my opinion. If all of us guys are so intent on ensuring there is no discrimination in this industry I guess all we need is a phone number and we will be 100% fine with whoever opens the door... let not let our wanting to be politically correct exceed the reality that for this industry to provides the best service it's important that both the lady and the client are happy to be there. If the ladies out there have a preference to not be intimate with older overweight guys like me then I hope they puts it in the ad or tell me during the booking process. Just my Opinion Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
