Advice for new hobbiests

Mikeyboy · February 3, 2016

I've been following this site for a long time now, and it is amazing how often the same, issues, concerns and complaints come up. Things that should be obvious often are not.

I thought it might help if I compiled a summery of some of the more common concerns for the newbie section. Hopefully it will help get some of the new gents to the hobby off on the right foot. There may be some here that don't apply to all people or situations, but these are some of the more common ones I have seen over the years:

1. Do your homework first. Nobody likes to have to spend time writing out answers to questions they have already provided answers for on their website or ad.

2. Be respectful during the initial contact. Being abrupt or rude is definitely a bad start.

3. Don't be too explicit. The laws are such that everyone is restricted in what can be said. Some are more careful than others with this, but remember that you are simply compensating for her time. That's all. Asking for anything more specific will often get you no reply at all.

4. Don't haggle. This is not a flea market. Nothing kills the mood faster than telling someone that they are worth less than they think they are. If she is out of your price range, move on politely.

5. If you have to cancel, let her know ASAP. Life sometimes gets in the way of the best laid plans. Their time is their source of income and they have promised some of it to you. At least give them some notice if you won't be able to make it. If you can't give notice, consider offering to compensate her. It has already cost her the time, whether or not you were there. (E-transfers can make this super easy.) ....And just not showing up without letting her know at all is so incredibly disrespectful and uncool. (and a sure way to get yourself black listed.) Just don't do it.

6. If you are sick, cancel. Nobody wants your illness. (But see number 5)

7. Hygiene -It shocks me how often this one comes up. It is for your own benefit to not have her repulsed during your time together. Take a shower and brush your teeth as close to the appointment as possible. If you can't, then ask if she has shower facilities. Many do. (But remember it is on your time.) oh... and wear deodorant!

8. If she asks you to take a shower before hand.... take one. It means one of two things. a) She has a policy that all clients take one, or b) you smell. Either way, it is the same answer: Take the shower if she asks.

9. Respect her time. This means being on time, but not early. Not always easy to be precise, but do what you can. If you are late, don't expect that she will let you stay later to make up for it. Also, don't expect her to be ready early just because you showed up early. Remember, you have an appointment. Respecting her time also means leaving when your time is up without having to be asked over and over.

10. Have the envelope ready at the beginning of the date. Don't make her ask. It kills the mood. I just place it on the dresser or table as I walk in. They can address it or not as they see fit.

Of course, all of these points can be summed up with two words: "show respect". If you use that as a guideline, you can't go wrong. I know there are some points that I have missed and some that not everyone will agree with. Remember, this isn't my list. It is a compilation of the most common concerns I have seen since I started following the site.

Feel free to add to it if I have missed any.

50 Shades Raven · February 11, 2016

I've been following this site for a long time now, and it is amazing how often the same, issues, concerns and complaints come up. Things that should be obvious often are not.

I thought it might help if I compiled a summery of some of the more common concerns for the newbie section. Hopefully it will help get some of the new gents to the hobby off on the right foot. There may be some here that don't apply to all people or situations, but these are some of the more common ones I have seen over the years:

1. Do your homework first. Nobody likes to have to spend time writing out answers to questions they have already provided answers for on their website or ad.

2. Be respectful during the initial contact. Being abrupt or rude is definitely a bad start.

3. Don't be too explicit. The laws are such that everyone is restricted in what can be said. Some are more careful than others with this, but remember that you are simply compensating for her time. That's all. Asking for anything more specific will often get you no reply at all.

4. Don't haggle. This is not a flea market. Nothing kills the mood faster than telling someone that they are worth less than they think they are. If she is out of your price range, move on politely.

5. If you have to cancel, let her know ASAP. Life sometimes gets in the way of the best laid plans. Their time is their source of income and they have promised some of it to you. At least give them some notice if you won't be able to make it. If you can't give notice, consider offering to compensate her. It has already cost her the time, whether or not you were there. (E-transfers can make this super easy.) ....And just not showing up without letting her know at all is so incredibly disrespectful and uncool. (and a sure way to get yourself black listed.) Just don't do it.

6. If you are sick, cancel. Nobody wants your illness. (But see number 5)

7. Hygiene -It shocks me how often this one comes up. It is for your own benefit to not have her repulsed during your time together. Take a shower and brush your teeth as close to the appointment as possible. If you can't, then ask if she has shower facilities. Many do. (But remember it is on your time.) oh... and wear deodorant!

8. If she asks you to take a shower before hand.... take one. It means one of two things. a) She has a policy that all clients take one, or b) you smell. Either way, it is the same answer: Take the shower if she asks.

9. Respect her time. This means being on time, but not early. Not always easy to be precise, but do what you can. If you are late, don't expect that she will let you stay later to make up for it. Also, don't expect her to be ready early just because you showed up early. Remember, you have an appointment. Respecting her time also means leaving when your time is up without having to be asked over and over.

10. Have the envelope ready at the beginning of the date. Don't make her ask. It kills the mood. I just place it on the dresser or table as I walk in. They can address it or not as they see fit.

Of course, all of these points can be summed up with two words: "show respect". If you use that as a guideline, you can't go wrong. I know there are some points that I have missed and some that not everyone will agree with. Remember, this isn't my list. It is a compilation of the most common concerns I have seen since I started following the site.

Feel free to add to it if I have missed any.

Love this list :-) Should be a 'sticky note' at the top of New Members info, lol

Very precise and to the point, love it.

If more potential clients would put themselves in our shoes, a lot of fears/disappointments/guessing would be overcome.

It doesn't take much to make an appointment, very much like an appointment anywhere else. We will ask for some information, please be prepared to provide it.

But I do love 4-8, these SHOULD be a no-brainer.