Courtesy & Manners

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

Two words that I have read quite a few times in some threads posted here. However, not too sure how many really apply them. This is far from for a rant, more like an observation.

 

Since I joined cerb I have been participant of the threads, first reading them and once I felt I had something to comment, well, then I started to reply and when I noticed I was posting my first thread. Same thing with chat and through both of them is that I have noticed and sometimes received discourtesy from some members which is kind of disappointing when I try to be friendly and respectful to others.

 

The feeling of starting this thread started last night when after being in the chat room for a little while, I realized it was bed time, and just as I was about to close my window, I noticed a question from a new member who seemed a little confused so I decided to invite him to private chat and answer his questions as well as give a few suggestions and point a thread on the topic he was concerned about. Next thing I noticed, he had left chat without even saying good night (a thank you would be to much to ask it seems).

 

Recently I got a private message from a member saying he would like to meet me and asking if I would be available a certain day/time which I was not so I replied explaining this and telling him what my schedule is normally like, he replied back asking me to please let him know when my next availability would be and that is exactly what I did ... Did I hear back from him? Of course not. Would it be to much to ask for a short note like a 'That does not work for me?'

 

And like those I could give you few more examples so yes, I'm a bit disappointed and frustrated to see that some people has no manners and/or respect for others. In my case, it makes me feel like trying to help others out is not worth it as is not appreciated. Yes, I know one should not do things expecting something in return but a 'thank you' makes a big difference. I also worry that the more people take this attitude the less others will want to help others out and in this particular case (cerb) that is what keeps it as a friendly community.

 

At last but not least and something non-cerb related thing. I would like to remind those who show no courtesy towards others that it can get back at them and I'm not saying I'm wishing for it to happen but I know many of the members here (ladies & gentlemen) have children. Please do not forget that no matter how many times you tell them things they watch more than what they listen so teach them good manners and to appreciate people, that will be reflected in their lives as they grow older :)

[mrgreen760 37785]

Been in the same boat a few times myself and I've never understood it. I'd never treat anyone that way. There's no harm in saying no to something or not being interested but ignoring someone in my view is just plain ignorant. Common courtesy and manners should be the rule of the day.

 

Unfortunately it isn't aways the case and it seems to be becoming less and less so.

 

Peace

MG

[Sovkhan 100]

Given the type of service being requested and provided, being courteous and polite would matter more here then anywhere. It's a business transaction at the base of it and the normal rules of engagement should be observed.

 

Irritating the lovely lady you want to spend some quality time with is beyond stupid.

[roamingguy 300292]

It's happened to me too, Isabella. What I do , whether it is in life, on CERB, in pm's, and emails etc etc etc, is treat the other person(s) the way I would like to be treated. There are those in life that are rude. But don't let them get you down. I'd like to think there are more people that have good manners and are respectful than are rude. And on days where I've had my fill of rude ignorant people and feel like I should be the same, I think to myself "I won't lower myself down to their level"

Hope that rambling helps

RG

[Guest ***nsut***jr]

Isabella, thank you for another thought provoking thread.

All of what you say is true and good advice.

I still consider myself a "new member" and I don't know how everything works here so I imagine I will make a few mistakes. BUT... I always am respectful of the other members.

One time my computer crashed during a private chat and by the time I got back online the lady had logged off of chat. I felt really bad so I immediately sent her a PM apologizing. I would not like someone to just leave a conversation without any type of comment as too why.

 

On the plus side of the courtesy issue, I have been pleasantly surprised by PM's thanking me from people after I have commented on their thread. That's all it takes to make my day.

 

So lets keep this place healthy, happy and fun. There's no other place like it!

 

J

[Guest s******ecan****]

it makes me feel like trying to help others out is not worth it as is not appreciated.

 

I understand this, but stay encouraged and helpful eventually you will come across someon who appreciates your efforts and shows it.

 

A good approach when offering anything...advice, volunteer time, donations to charities, friendship etc, is to consider it as a gift freely given. That way you have protected yourself from any feelings of being taken advantage of or unappreciated.

[fortunateone 156618]

One time my computer crashed during a private chat and by the time I got back online the lady had logged off of chat. I felt really bad so I immediately sent her a PM apologizing. I would not like someone to just leave a conversation without any type of comment as too why.

 

 

J

 

I have had the same thing happen. Actually had this site crash on me earlier this evening (I don't go into chat, thankfully lol) Was out for about an hour, right in the middle of changing a post which I don't think I can find now lol.

 

I do feel that a thx etc is a good thing, especially when given something, but I have also been in the position of either stopping pming or sending off yet another pm which was already going back and forth and back and forth. So at what point do you just stop, if you know what I mean. I send info, someone says thanks, do I then say no problemo, or just let it alone? Is it rude to not reply even tho there is nothing to add?

 

So maybe just for the record, if you are someone who followed up a pm with a thankyou note and I don't reply with a no problemo, it doesn't mean I am ignoring you, just not prolonging the inevitable ending to our private chat......:grin:

[antlerman 17064]

Ohhh.....some of my favorite topics that I have ranted about....

 

Chat and chat lurkers.

they come and go...often.....the ones that drop out drop out from connection problems and "opps...some one is comming".......

 

Polite and manners..

 

don't get me started on that one.......they are alomost extinct......

[Loralee Reach 245]

Unfortunately this is not an issue exclusive of Cerb. Bad manners are rampant anywhere.

In this situation is a more "intimate" issue and especially since you were given the "gentleman"(have to call him something...)some advice.

In all orders of life there is people who think they are too big for their shoes, too smart for their environment and they cut all of us off.

Do not bother even remembering and DO NOT STOP helping someone else because of him. Keep doing the good thing. If you don't, you will be puting yourself at his level...too much of a low place to be....

Hugs

LoraLee

[Guest S***e]

Never quit being honest, polite and courteous. Never expect it in return.

[E.D. man 691]

Courtesy and manners are lacking in this world today.

I have a co-w0rker who i try to treat with respect, just wants to be an asshole. So some peope lack the attitude for this behavior and their is nothing you can do about it.

Their are people like this in all walks of life. Including cerbites both hobbiest and SP's.

You just have to deal with it.