The Subconscious Truth

[Guest al****s]

This past Thanksgiving (2010) was a new experience for me. It was the first time that I have ever been away from my mom, my sister, my nephew, my brother, my grandmother…and well you get the picture. Moving to Alberta is a decision that I do not regret. Does that mean I don’t miss my family and my friends back home? No…sigh…I miss them everyday, but holidays are especially hard.

 

Family is so important to me. I would not be the person I am today without each and every single one of them. I learn from my family, I laugh at my family (in a good way), and I take inspiration from my family. My father passed away seven years ago at the young age of 60. Far before he should have said goodbye. But, life is such. My dad taught me my independence. He taught me how to be strong. He gave me excellent advice (the one person who’s advice I took more than any other). Sorry, I got side tracked there…my mind has gone deep this weekend. My mind has grown and evolved a bit this weekend.

 

My maternal grandmother is 96 years young. I spoke to her on the phone on Thanksgiving and every time I talk to her I can’t help but morbidly think “will this be the last time”. She is 96 after all and she has had an extraordinary life. If I was to name my biggest inspiration, it would be my grandma. She lived in the “olden days”…hehe…but I remember as a kid listening to her stories and thinking “wow…she washed clothes without a machine? For real?” I listen to my mother speak of how they were so poor her and her five siblings had to share bath water! Excuse me? Can I be first please?

 

I look back on my life till now and I know I’ve had a pretty colorful past full of hard lessons and a LOT of fun. I wouldn’t change any part of my life…not even the nine months of hell in BC (another post…lol). Every single experience that I have been through (good and bad) has made me the person I am today. I take my life lessons to heart. I listen to them and improve upon them. I like and appreciate my lessons.

 

If I were to sit down with my grandma today and tell her what I choose to do for a living, she would be devastated…she would disapprove wholeheartedly. She would be basing all her opinions on her beliefs and her God. The LAST thing I want to imply here is a lack of respect for people’s beliefs and their religion, but my grandma is a true testament to her “times”. If she were to allow me to actually explain to her my experiences with my chosen profession, she might change her opinion…I doubt it, but never say never. If I was able to express to her that the people I have met have been for the most part stellar individuals. They are respectful members of society who love to entertain this hobby for whatever their reason(s) may be. That reason doesn’t matter to me. As long as they respect me, I want to be with them. If I was able to express to my grandma how much I have learned and how much I have taught, and the incredible things that I have experienced, would she then be accepting of me? If I was able to tell her that I have experienced bliss and pleasure beyond my wildest dreams and have given that in return, would that make a difference? Likely not…

 

My grandma loves me…I am one of nine grandchildren and six great grandchildren and no matter what, she knows I’m a good person…she knows I am happy….and when it comes right down to it, that’s all that matters.

 

What is the “Subconscious Truth”? You tell me…

 

Alexis….xoxo

[Mutau 2516]

Congratulations Alexiss,

Taking time to reflect and seriously consider one's situation in life is never an easy task if one is being truthful to one's self. It appears Alexiss that you have dug deep, confronted some challenges and come out a better person.

 

Accepting what you are and especially who you are is critical to peace of mind. Others may judge, society may try and place you in a pigeonhole and attempt to classify you as x,y, or z. But only you, and your soul mate, whoever he or she may be, truly know the "real" you. If you are comfortable in your way of life and have behaviourial boundaries, whatever they may be, then what others thing or perceive should not really bother you. Although we always want to be "accepted".

 

Society, and people in general, needs to be more tolerant and accepting of others. We were not all cut from the same cloth, our circumstances in life vary and we are much richer for these differences.

 

Remember Alexiss, you are the mistress of your own destiny. You make the decisions based on the circumstances and your knowledge at the time. Life is a cruel teacher and our experiences are lessons in reality.

 

The main thing is that as you have said one learns from making mistakes. The essential is to minimize the risks to oneself by having as much information as possible before making a decision.

 

The end result is that you are you, whether in the subconscious or in the now. Granted, we all regret certain things which we have done in our lives. But that is the past. It cannot be undone. The future lies in front of us as a vast unknown frontier. If you are confident in who you are, and have fortitude of character, then you are a stronger person and capable of facing the curves that life will throw at you.

 

Good luck, Alexiss. Journey forth and enjoy your life, just as your grandmother has certainly enjoyed hers.

[Old Dog 179138]

I really believe that there is a generational disconnect that makes us believe that our elders are more pious, more rigid and less forgiving than they actually are.

 

This Saturday, my daughter, my niece and my 80 year old mom were sitting at the dining room table just talking. My brother (my niece's father) and I were sitting in the adjacent room having a beer and shooting the breeze. We were absolutely amazed at the ease at which our girls and our mom were connecting... and on subjects that we probably never would have broached with our own grandfathers or grandmothers. But there they were, giggling, laughing to the point of tears on things that would have made us blush at the same age. My brother and I looked at each other and smiled; we knew that our kids had achieved a level of comfort that we had never attained.

 

You will never know how accepting someone will be unless you push the boundaries; sometimes those boundaries are a lot less concrete than you once thought... ;)

[Guest e**m***h]

Don't usually write on these sorts of posts, but I think Alexiss has offered a certain wisdom here. Thank you.

 

Genuine acceptance between generations is something quite rare and transformative. We are all so deeply formed and in many cases constrained by our origins. What could be better than if our very own families (our closest origins) actually accept who we are and what we do? This is worth thinking about. We would all be much more amazing in our personhood, our confidence, our love, our sex, our freedoms. Not much harm in that. Yet, so much harm comes from the uncertainty of this exact sort of acceptance. The species has been around so long, we should all be much better at this.

 

So, I am really not sure what the subconscious truth is in the end, but more acceptance all around seems on the right track. Thanks for these beautiful thoughts.:grin:

[Guest s******ecan****]

I think tolerance stems from self confidence and humility. Those who are most intolerant are usually masking a deep insecurity, or have never had the misfortune/opportunity to suffer in a way the creates genuine humbleness.

 

Those of us who have suffered painful defeats, made mistakes, or endured setbacks have had a great opportunity to learn humulity. To learn that we can never control events, that events are always in control of us and our defence is to adapt and respond positively.

[tiimde71 176]

 

My grandma loves me…I am one of nine grandchildren and six great grandchildren and no matter what, she knows I’m a good person…she knows I am happy….and when it comes right down to it, that’s all that matters.

 

What is the “Subconscious Truth”? You tell me…

 

Alexis….xoxo

 

 

Hi Alexis

 

Thanks for sharing. The most important part of your post is the part I quoted. You are who you are not what you do.

 

Having said that there are many who can hold their head high and state their profession who do a lot of damage while you, a person who if you are like the ladies I have visited, brings a lot of pleasure to others at a cost to yourself.

 

The lawyer who over bills the mother trying to get custody of her child, the accountant who pads his bill to cover the loan for computer equipment he never bought, the politician who does not stand for what is right, the teacher who will not help the struggling students. All of these people can proudly announce their careers while causing tremendous damage. All true stories btw.

 

If you are loved by those around you, if you do your business with honor and do good for those you interact with I would be proud to call you friend. There are many people who have great careers who would never gain my respect but I know ladies in your profession I would be honored to call friend. That is what truly counts.

[Birdboy 10482]

The subconscious truth is that you know that you have these ties. Invisible, indestructible, stretching infinite distance and undetectable by science yet as real and as concrete as the walls around you, the computer that you are reading this on. They are there whether you are thinking about them or not, no matter how far you are from your loved ones.

 

That is the first subconscious truth.

 

The second is that you can develop these ties for someone you've never met, never heard their voice, never seen their face. They may be disembodied words on a cold computer screen. And yet these ties may be as real as some that you have had with the people you have met in person, laughed with, loved.