Question.

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

I'm not sure where to put this but here seems as good as any.

 

I have been asked by a friend to be the executor of his will. He is single but has kids. I do not agree with how he wants to distribute his estate as it seems unfair to one sibling vs another. He can do what he wants with his money but I don't want any part of executing those wishes as I know both siblings.

 

I don't think I'm being unreasonable by saying no thanks but he will be offended and want to know why. I'm inclined to spare his feelings and make up an excuse.

 

Am I being difficult? Would you do it? What would you say to this request?

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

I would say why you are declining to be his executor. It just might give him food for thought.

[Monstermash 583]

Do it as he wishes take your fee and don't look back!

[roamingguy 300292]

It is your friend's property/money that he is Willing to his kids. You aren't pitting one sibling against another, you are merely executing his Will. But who gets what from his estate is his decision, and he had reasons I'm sure for who got what

He asked you as his friend to be his executor. If it were me I would respect his wishes and be the executor. It wasn't your decision who got what. But it is your decision whether to respect your friend's request and be executor or decline the request

Like I said, if me, I'd be the executor

A rambling

 

RG

[Charlotte Edwards 8590]

If you feel that it would be awkward and cause problems in your relationships with these siblings just decline

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Guest j**tg***x]

Yes for sure, politely decline. No reasons need be given. Just say you would prefer not to and leave it at that. Some things better left unsaid, but don't compromise your beliefs

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I'm not sure where to put this but here seems as good as any.

 

I have been asked by a friend to be the executor of his will. He is single but has kids. I do not agree with how he wants to distribute his estate as it seems unfair to one sibling vs another. He can do what he wants with his money but I don't want any part of executing those wishes as I know both siblings.

 

I don't think I'm being unreasonable by saying no thanks but he will be offended and want to know why. I'm inclined to spare his feelings and make up an excuse.

 

Am I being difficult? Would you do it? What would you say to this request?

 

I would agree with you on this one. This should be a family matter and you do not want to get involved with that drama. As Meaghan said, tell him your thoughts about the situation from an objective point of view and it might give him something to think about.

 

If it were me in this position, I would tell them thanks for thinking of me and trusting me with such a matter but it's a family issue that I wouldn't want to be entangled with.

[Exotic Touch Danielle 31720]

You have every right to decline his offer if you feel uncomfortable with it...just be honest with him for your reasons and hopefully he will understand and maybe change his will to be more fair

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

If you feel this strongly about it, you should decline. As has been said, it is his will and his choice and he may have reasons unknown to you. I would be upfront with him about your reasons and say you don't wish to be in that position during an already difficult period. Perhaps it will open a discussion about things or may give a viewpoint that was not thought about previously.

 

Either way, it seems your gut is saying no and you should listen to it.

[Regent 35404]

I would decline and explain your reasons.

 

I would also be extremely reluctant to agree to be someone's executor even if there were no issues with how things are assigned. I've done it and it's a lot of work.

[mrgreen760 37785]

I'm currently an Executor of a fairly large estate. It's a serious job and time consuming. Be sure to fully understand the responsibility involved.

 

That being said this estate comes with a little bit of what some may view as controversy others wouldn't. When asked, I read the will and offered no narrative at all and agreed provided he sit down with the named beneficiaries and walk them through it so if there were issues they'd arise now and could be explained and not down the road when I could be left to explain them or be asked to explain them. Once that was done I was good to go. There could still be an issue but I can at least say......"you were told and had the opportunity raise concerns then"... now I am legally obligated to act on the deceased wishes as outlined.

 

Peace

MG

[Guest Prufrock Cummings]

I've been executor to two wills, and let me say it is thankless and very time-consuming. I've seen siblings and family squabble, hold grudges and bitterness for years.

 

Steve, I don't envy your position because you want to be there for your friend but the inequity of the terms of the will has put your mind at odds.

 

Not knowing all the details but feeling your trepidation I can suggest a couple of options:

 

1. Suggest to your friend that perhaps a law firm might be better suited to act as executor rather than yourself.

2. If honesty is the best policy in your world, then decline and explain why (and expect some hurt to follow)

3. Accept the task, keep things amicable between you and your friend, but when the time comes, as executor, I believe you can hire a lawyer to act as your representative and the funds come from the will. This won't cure the inequity that you see in the will, but it can help distance you somewhat to those affected by the terms of the will.

 

I don't know if that helps at all sir, but I wish you good luck, you are not in an enviable position.

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

Pistol Annies - Family Feud.

 

"Family Feud"

 

Fine china stacked by the kitchen sink

Aunt Tammy's in there claiming all the diamond rings

Uncle Bobby's holding up the TV set

The only thing they are grieving over

Is what they ain't gonna get

She's only been in the ground a day or two

I'm glad Mama ain't around to watch this family feud

 

Great gran daddy's shotgun started it all

She wasn't even cold

Before they ripped it off the wall

Wanda's fighting Angie over antique quilts

Nobody even waited for the reading of the will

If Daddy was here he'd beat us black and blue

I'm glad mama ain't around to watch this family feud

 

I'm watching it all go down in shame

Wish the whole house would go up in flames

Who gives a damn about a cedar chest?

When we just laid her soul to rest

She's only been in the ground a day or two

I'm glad Mama ain't around to watch this family feud

 

She's probably rolling over in her grave

'Cause the good lord giveth and the family taketh away

 

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

Lol, Meaghan. Thank you for your opinions, everyone. They helped me and I appreciate this community. You are a wonderful resource, even if I disagree with some of you from time to time. :)

 

I have politely declined and surprisingly, he wasn't too upset. I did suggest he may want to use a law firm.

 

I have learned a lot about being an executor though. It is a difficult job and once you begin proceedings with probate, you are obligated to finish, even if you become very busy with your own circumstances or work life. You have to execute the wishes as per the deceased with no deviating from his wishes. If the will is disputed, your duties could drag on indefinitely until the matter is settled.

 

It can really turn into a mess. Especially in this case as the one sibling is somewhat estranged from him and he has cut off communication with that son. I don't want to enable him as the executor. If he wants to lash out after death, that's on him, not me.

 

Mr. Green made a good point. Always best to let your beneficiaries know in advance what your estate plans are when you die. That way they know up front. My problem is he didn't plan to do that. I have accepted being an executor for some family members over the years, but those are straightforward and there is no animosity.

 

Thanks again!