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Pooner Diaries: Secret

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Hey you. Yeah, you. I'm talking to you. You know who you are. I think we're alone now. I just want to tell you something.

 

I know, you're wondering why I'm talking to you like this. Why don't I just call you or email you, or send a PM. It's not that simple. I want so much to tell you what I'm thinking, but I just can't. It's not that easy.

 

I try so hard to be cool around you. I act so casually when we talk. I want you to think that I'm just your run of the mill horny dude. Just another guy on the board. Just another client.

 

We've known each other for a while. We talk, we joke, we whisper our secrets to each other. We have some laughs, have some fun. Simple, right?

 

Maybe not.

 

You see, I have this wild crush on you. My heart races whenever I see one of your posts, or whenever I see one of your pictures. My heart aches when I haven't heard from you in a while. I yearn to be in touch with you, and I curse the distance and the rules of comportment that divides us. I want more. More than I could possibly ask of you. More than I would ever have any right to, in this crazy hobby and business.

 

I just couldn't possibly really tell you the way that I really feel. I don't want to become another entry in your gallery of creepy guys. Someone who you might even think is bare inches away from being a stalker. Someone who might complicate your life, and distract you from being good at what you do.

 

This is why I'm telling you, but I'm not really telling you. It's easier this way. You might suspect, but you'll never, ever know for sure that I ever felt this way.

 

I know this crush will pass eventually, and I'll be back to my old self. But right now, I ache to be near you, to touch you, to hold you, to shelter you from harm.

 

Take care, my pretty one. See you soon. I can't wait.

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Guest al****s

The secret crush...the secret feelings that we think shouldn't be expressed...but those feelings are who we are. I for one, like who you are, so don't stop being you :)

 

alexis...xoxo

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Well it seems that the Birdboy has become philosophical and waxes on about an unrequited "crush" or dare we say the word "love". But does not his state of being, this frame of mind, occur to all of us at one time or another?

 

There are individuals we meet who are just oh so great at making us feel at home and relaxed. We could spend so much time together chatting and catching up on things. But is that the same as being in a "relationship". But then again what defines a "relationship"?

 

Oh well, let us just enjoy the musings of Birdboy and take enjoyment from his words without trying to psychoanalyze eveything.

 

Well done, Birdboy: another one for your book!

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Ahh, the torture of our private thoughts..... The things we would like to tell someone but can't..... Hopefully time will pass and all will be good....

 

Maybe.....

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This tale, this tale, of my secret crush, is a tale that cannot be told, for though it is unfurling it has yet to unfold. I think of the words of Natasha Bedingfield in the song she does so well. She says it much better than I ever could. And she's much better looking than I am, to boot! ;)

 

I am unwritten,

Can't read my mind

I'm undefined

I'm just beginning

The pen's in my hand

Ending unplanned

 

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words

That you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

 

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten, yeah...

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