What makes a person?

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

Yes Jabba I do have a reason to keep(not obscure) my nationality from strangers and that is discretion. As some have said in here by no means I am obligated to share that with anyone.

I was intrigued by your post for a couple of reasons - It sounds like you have reason to obscure your origins.

 

You are wrong here, and if you read my post in the first line I typed was this (Where are you from?) is a question I constantly get so if nobody cares why do I get asked? And from Annessa's post I see I'm not the only one. As for why am I concerned? I'm just curious on what leads the ones who ask to do so and how it influences in their decision to meet or not a lady.

Curious, because in this community , nobody really cares about anyone`s background (unless they`re someone like Idi Amin). I say this not to insult or disregard your concern, but, you brought the question up. Why are you concerned?

I do not think there's a 'background' with a prostitution phobia and that would be a cultural thing and a phobia is a mental thing. So my answer is no. Do you not tell others about you hobbying because you think they have a hobbyist-phobia? Don't think so!

Are you from a background that has a particular phobia about prostitution?

 

Again, if you read the entire thread you saw me saying who I share or not share this or any other thing depends of the level of comfort. and once again I tell you the reason why I started this thread was to know why is it you guys ask questions like this if as you said it they don't really care. So no, thank you for the advice but I have no issues about my culture ;)

If you want to share your personal background with us hobbists, that is totally up to you. If you are torn between cultures, I suggest you talk to someone to help you resolve it in your mind. Maybe that was what your were originally trying to do here?

 

Best of luck.

[Annessa 22743]

I dont think we should pick on the word phobia....dont worry Isabella, I'm still sticking up for you, I just think Jabba meant "morals against" when he was referring to east indian girls etc...

 

however I dont think paranoia was an appropriate choice of words for that type of situation...in some cultures, being a prostitute is not only frowned upon

 

in some cultures a lady can be stoned to death for having sex (or even having a boyfriend against the parent's arrangement) before marriage.....imagine if she was found out to be a prostitute! These cultures do exist in cities in Canada and are featured in the news occasionally. mercy killings, murder/suicides. Sometimes we like to think that because we live in North America these ladies are safe. Some are not.

just because we belong to this community does not mean that some are shielded from their family's cultural morals.

 

I heard a couple years ago a story about a son guilty of killing his own sister with the family's permission because he heard that she wanted to elope with her boyfriend. He was sure he had done no wrong....this happened in Canada...not across the globe somewhere.

 

its not about being torn between cultures....its about keeping a part of ourselves sacred. Maybe not the ladies in this thread but Some ladies have too much to lose. I really hope this changes someday.

 

Thats all I have to say about cultural "paranoia"...back to the rest of the topic, sorry if that was derailment of any type

[Andee 220524]

Interesting topic, Isabella.

 

I agree with the previous posters, don't ever feel obliged to disclose anything your not comfortable with, but keep in mind a lot of conversation during a session is just idle chit chat and not meant to offend you.

 

Kimberly

 

I agree. And for some, it's curiousity. I love meeting people from different parts of the world and I have been guilty of asking the same question. If someones generalizes the answer and says for example Europe or Middle East, I don't press further.

 

Also, as has been mentioned sometimes SPs will use their nationality as part of their advertising to promote their exoticness so to speak so perhaps some clients might expect that to be a fair question.

 

But in the end, yes, you are not obligated to answer any personal questions. But having a stock answer makes you prepared when those questions do come up.

 

Additional Comments:

Scott:

 

Maybe harsh, I guess but I do find the "not white" reference inflammatory.

Etasman calls it a "racial fetish" which also comes out a little strange to me when it is an open forum. I feel that they are a poor choice of words especially when presented in the context of IG's original post.

 

J

 

So how are we to refer to "non white" (as you put it) (or however one wants to term people of different nationalities or skin tone), without offending someone when we mean no malice, just stating a fact. I have a friend who is half East Indian and she finds it a compliment when a gentlemen comments that he likes the fact she is a mixed beauty. That is why some guys come to see her. So if it's a compliment, does that still make it racist. How is someone supposed to express what they are trying to say without it sounding negative or offending someone.

 

Perhaps we should all be "colour blind" and not ever mention it. Ideally perhaps we should, but we know it doesn't work like that. I do not believe Cap meant anything negative by it. Perhaps the choice of words could have been different, but the fact he booked her to begin with and didn't leave when he saw her, tells me he wanted to be there. He should not be faulted for being curious and asking the question and Isabella should not be faulted for not wanting to answer.

 

 

Additional Comments:

Thank you Pete this is the kind of answer I was hoping to get and is my idea of what a person is. My heart feels a lot happier now to see there is people who still value that. You just made my day :)

 

 

 

Additional Comments:

I never asked not to comment on capitalman's post I asked to please leave out the Isabella - Capitalman situation as nobody has the right to comment on something that happened between two people unless they both agree and opinion is asked. I do not agree. He decided to publish something that should only concern us two and even then he just directed the message to me yes, I find he should have done that in a PM but still he did not end the message asking others what they think.

 

Yes, perhaps Cap could have been more discrete, but you did open yourself up by "putting it out there". You wanted to know what makes a person, but you emphasized the point about keeping your country of origin private, so he was simply chiming in.

 

Hate to sound harsh, but when you start a thread, you can't always expect everyone to give you the answers you are looking for. I think most people have said here that you are no obligation to give out that information, but that doesn't mean some clients won't find it important to them, or ask the question. What you think about yourself is the most important thing, not pleasing some client by surrendering your boundaries.

 

I just wish more people thought the way Pistol Pete does. The world would be a much better place.

 

It seems to be really important to you to assert yourself about wanting to be private with this information. That is fair, but now you have "exposed" yourself further by starting a thread which in a way has now is going to arouse even more curiousity, I believe. Just remember though, just because you have stated what your boundaries are, doesn't give you a guarantee that there still won't be idiots who will still ask the question.

 

I wish you well, Isabella.

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

Ok I thought this thread was already a cold case lol, since it was re-opened I will start by posting once more what my original question was just as a reminder that I never asked opinions on what others think about ME particularly not sharing this, it was a general question.

 

 

 

So, my question for the gentlemen here is How important is the lady's nationality in order to decide if meeting her? I know some of you have preferences but aren't her physical characteristics enough or perhaps her background? (European, Latin, Asian)

 

Angela yes, I by no means want or expect everyone to think like me or to tell me what I would like to hear, what I do expect though is whatever the response is to be done with respect as that is the way I have treated everyone here.

 

 

Hate to sound harsh, but when you start a thread, you can't always expect everyone to give you the answers you are looking for.

 

I do not understand what you mean by 'exposing' myself as I don't think it was a secret for anyone that I was not born Canadian, as for arousing curiosity and being asked my nationality I never asked not to be questioned about it but explained not to expect me to respond as who I share my personal information with is at my discretion.

It seems to be really important to you to assert yourself about wanting to be private with this information. That is fair, but now you have "exposed" yourself further by starting a thread which in a way has now is going to arouse even more curiousity, I believe. Just remember though, just because you have stated what your boundaries are, doesn't give you a guarantee that there still won't be idiots who will still ask the question.

 

I wish you well, Isabella.

I appreciate your comments and have no doubt of your good intentions.

[Andee 220524]

I do not understand what you mean by 'exposing' myself as I don't think it was a secret for anyone that I was not born Canadian, as for arousing curiosity and being asked my nationality I never asked not to be questioned about it but explained not to expect me to respond as who I share my personal information with is at my discretion.

 

I appreciate your comments and have no doubt of your good intentions.

 

 

What I meant to say is bringing the issue more to light or "out there". But I understand, it was to make the very point you explained. What I'm saying is, it's good that most have responded that knowing what nationality you are is not that important them. But as I said, for some it may be, and you need to prepared to assert yourself in that regard which sounds to me like you will be doing. Good for you.

 

Thank you.

[Annessa 22743]

After reading many replied in here to this thread, I think we all could try and educate many on the reasons we dont want to give our exact heritages out to strangers (as has been done many times already in this thread) BUT in the end all we have to do is decide that if our culture is the main reason a member books us or doesnt book us, then he is not worth our time if we dont want to be perceived as a stereotypical race.

 

that is, if we want to be appreciated for more than just the stereotype of the physical attributes that may accompany our heritage, then dont let the others bother you. In the end, it will be their loss for choosing not to see you via trying to base you on your cultural image and not what it has to offer.

 

Like a few members mentioned, those that want to book based on all our other great attributes might be more what we are searching for....the rest may find their ideal "___insert certain race___" and realize they may have to be less racially picky in the future if they are unsatisfied with their experience.

 

In the end its their money, let them waste it if they decide your racial discretion is a deal-breaker.