M.I.A. Missing in Action

[mrrnice2 157005]

Missing in Action

 

People who have been members here for a while know who it is that I am talking about. I myself plead guilty as I have posted very little in the past six months or more.

 

CERB or now LYLA was a place that I used to log into every morning with my coffee, and then again multiple times daily. Now I have become complacent and truthfully rather bored. I know now and always have known the basic premise of what this site was about but it used to be a place where one could engage in good discussions on all sorts of things, both inside and outside of the sex industry. I miss those discussions a lot.

 

I will not even begin to name the people who have stopped contributing to discussions here, but men and women members alike who are intelligent, well spoken, humorous, and who contributed ever so much more to this site than what I see here now, I miss you.

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

Glad to see you back again! It seems that some are slowly drifting back. xo

[drlove 37204]

The new law has certainly put a damper on things, hasn't it? Things just aren't the same anymore, so I've become somewhat of a lurker. I'll wait until such time as the Liberals see fit to repeal, or at least amend C-36, or a constitutional challenge is launched... whichever comes first.

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

Was it something I said? :)

 

I've noticed a marked drop off in participation as well and it's a shame. I too miss the exchanges and it was 90% of the reason I go here. I hope it's not c-36 that is keeping people from the discussion board. How is that illegal?

 

I always found this place to be a respectful forum where we could have heated discussions but still keep things civil. That's a rarity online. Hopefully people will drift back over time. I'd even like to see a few of my nemesis rejoin the discussions on here. Until then, I'll just assume they're afraid to engage my formidable skills. LOL

 

To the MOD, and others, is there something that can be done to bring new people here? Maybe refresh the look, change the name to "The Street Corner", "Coffee Shop" or something other than "General Discussions". Just thinking out loud. I'm not the most creative when it comes to this stuff.

 

Good post, mrrnice2. Thanks for hanging in there!

[NotchJohnson 214123]

Good to have you back mrnice2, I also miss those good old days. I was on both sides of the discussions, sometime on the defendant side or the opposition but it was all fun and I still talk to everyone who wishes to hear from me.

[mrgreen760 37785]

"To everything, turn, turn, turn.

There is a season, turn, turn, turn"

 

Everything has their day and folks look to something new and different. Like any business new blood is critical in order to survive. The challenge will be to give them a reason to participate.

 

 

Peace

MG

[MightyPen 67414]

Everything has their day and folks look to something new and different. Like any business new blood is critical in order to survive. The challenge will be to give them a reason to participate.

Thing is though, I don't think it's been a case of people growing disenchanted with CERB; it's the environment that changed.

 

Apple pies are delicious. But if apples were declared illegal and proclaimed to be the diet of "perverts", you'd probably see a lot fewer people eating apple pies or hanging out on apple pie forums. And those who were still there might adopt guarded language that badly hampered meaningful and spontaneous conversation:

 

- "Hello! I enjoy baked goods that include the flesh of certain types of fruit."

 

- "Hello back! I too sometimes partake of oven-exposed pastries inclusive of fruit-based fillings."

 

Changes to the laws forced limits on free expression, and together those two things changed the nature of the community. But it hasn't died; maybe it's just sleeping. Let's see what happens when the law changes again.

[drlove 37204]

Let's see what happens when the law changes again.

 

Indeed... yet when will that be? I'm sure it's frustrating for all of us to be on a 'short leash', so to speak. The question remains, when / if the government chooses to act, will they give the issues at hand a meaningful and introspective examination, or merely a cursory perusal at best? What will the changes be, if any? More to the point, who will be in power when actual real change does occur? Hopefully it is not another Conservative government. I hold out hope that a new court challenge will be launched in the interim and that things change for the better before too much time has passed.

[Grass_Hopper 18263]

Having seen CERB transformed to LYLA, I can see there has been very good changes made to the site. Also less good ones...

 

But in all. I would think that eventhough we can't all agree, on all the rules, with the exponential boom of new subscribers, the new laws, the new type of clientele (I have more and more fetish requests...), the censorship, the different tech. difficulties (remember the first times of the chat/ chat box) the new rules on here, in all, LYLA is still respecting its first goal: Keeping service providers and hobbiest well informed and safe in a fun and friendly website.

 

Sure, the new rules have change the face of LYLA (wich will always remain CERB to me), and some will always have a certain difficulties to accept rules, not mentionning a change in them (me being the first one).

 

Also, as service providers, we have the chance of hearing some ex-members justification as why they don't post anymore. But that shall remain beind closed doors...

 

In all, LYLA has changed, as we all did. But even with all those changes,LYLA will always remain my #1 refference for work, but will also remain the first site I log in when I wake up in the morning to start a fresh new day...

 

For all those that remain, I consider myself lucky to have the chance to interact with you...

[VedaSloan 119179]

Speaking for myself, I just have less time to post, in addition to the fact that I am now based in Toronto and in terms of advertising, Lyla is heavily Ottawa-based.

 

Things change!

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

I am posting on this thread against my gut feeling....allow me to explain why.

I have been an active poster for many years, ( sadly lost 1000 post somewhere along the way). Seems that year by year, we have actually less and less tolerance for other peoples points of view or simply jump on one another for either simple ignorance or even as silly as misspellings! I have witnessed an increased amount of " slamming" or belittling over simple mistakes. Trying to be smarter, wiser or more ethical than the last poster. Even right now.... I was going to post from my phone, but for whatever reason my phone will not show autocorrect, so I am using my laptop. Not that I am stupid or anything but with this post I have learned that if my spelling or grammar is not 100% perfect people will always point out any small mistake I may make! I had not realized that I was supposed to have an English major to post. I find this is unethical, and very distracting to the points I am trying to get across. Seeing backlash for simple errors is not lighting the room in a happy glow.

 

Also, I have witnessed many new Gent's and Ladies who are just trying to learn the ropes, only to get slammed by senior posters that it is a " dumb" question, or what not. These poor souls end up slinking back and afraid to post again for fear of being judged. I have many GF's that feel this way about Lyla ( CERB). And is sad to hear that as this site was always a great way to feel like we belong and not isolated.

 

I feel there is new era, " Dog Eat Dog" as the saying goes, where once we stood together. A person tries to post their views only to be told by a gang of people how stupid they are! I have seen some who have long term memberships say very extreme bulling statements here and yet no one stands against them , it is not reported or challenged cause well it was so and so and anyone who opposes them will get the wrath!

 

This only creates an unhealthy balance of equality for a community such as ours! Where some can get away with what ever they wish as long as it is sugar coated and fluffed with big words , and the straight up comments not nearly as vicious seem to get the wrath.

 

I agree fully that all posts and discussions should be performed in good taste and conscience, and when I see some who are obviously " baiting" another into an argument that can be seen as "hostile" that does not seem fair. It is our human nature to try to defend ourselves when so wrongly misquoted.

 

For these reasons, I simply do not post in any hot topics. We have lost the ability to speak with grace and understanding. Until we do, this site will only continue to become barren:(

 

I do not agree that our new laws are to blame. Who is to say that your not simply posting on your own " date life experience" ? I mean it is not like we ever stated... " when I spend an hour with....and I was unhappy" NO...our ADULT CONVERSATIONS always have been in GENRAL. Advice, topics, questions, have no identity as to whom or when or where.

 

Anyhow, thought I would speak up on this post for this time. But refuse to be "baited" inot yet another drama thread lol.

[mrrnice2 157005]

Thanks to those who have contributed to this thread and it's particularly nice to see some people who used to write some really good posts jumping back in.

 

Like Sophia who has perhaps analyzed this change more than I have, I don't see this as a legal question. Maybe it's as Berlin said that times change and people change and that time is an issue.

 

I do know that I have seen newer members ask a question or make a point to be directed by a long term member to a previous thread. Been there and done that and though I am at least reasonably intelligent I have never yet figured out the search function to any degree of satisfaction so my thoughts are to newer members to ask away, to contribute and to start new discussions.

 

This has always been a truly respectful site to me It's like an adult version of Facebook and those few times that someone has been trolling or disrespectful I simply have ignored and then all seems good.

 

Every single one of us on here, SP or client, has opinions and thoughts and beliefs on a wide range of topics and I think I can say that many of us enjoy reading about the variety of things that make our lives interesting. It's a dull day that one does not learn something new. Without the old Cerb there are a lot of things that I would never have appreciated or known.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Thanks to those who have contributed to this thread and it's particularly nice to see some people who used to write some really good posts jumping back in.

 

Like Sophia who has perhaps analyzed this change more than I have, I don't see this as a legal question. Maybe it's as Berlin said that times change and people change and that time is an issue.

 

I do know that I have seen newer members ask a question or make a point to be directed by a long term member to a previous thread. Been there and done that and though I am at least reasonably intelligent I have never yet figured out the search function to any degree of satisfaction so my thoughts are to newer members to ask away, to contribute and to start new discussions.

 

This has always been a truly respectful site to me It's like an adult version of Facebook and those few times that someone has been trolling or disrespectful I simply have ignored and then all seems good.

 

Every single one of us on here, SP or client, has opinions and thoughts and beliefs on a wide range of topics and I think I can say that many of us enjoy reading about the variety of things that make our lives interesting. It's a dull day that one does not learn something new. Without the old Cerb there are a lot of things that I would never have appreciated or known.

 

INDEED! It was viewed by many as an Adult Facebook....and hope we can return to that!

Thanks for bring a well rounded and relevant topic to life.

My hopes are that new memebers may feel more comfortable with disscusion. NOT LECTURES...but merely adults discusing what we feel is important.

[conquistador 18487]

well said sophia, totally agree with you.

 

this was happening before c36 came to be law, well before. obviously, c36 hasn't helped the situation, and only time and new members will bring the site back to life, and hopefully old members will return.

 

onwards and upwards!

[Guest Prufrock Cummings]

well said sophia, totally agree with you.

 

this was happening before c36 came to be law, well before. obviously, c36 hasn't helped the situation, and only time and new members will bring the site back to life, and hopefully old members will return.

 

onwards and upwards!

 

And new members too, with new ideas and opinions.

[drlove 37204]

And new members too, with new ideas and opinions.

 

Yes. I just wonder how visible Lyla is on the overall radar. It seems a lot of ladies seem content with simply advertising, as Backpage seems to be the 'go to' site these days. Now for myself, I started on another board back in 2001, and in all honesty I never even knew this board exited until I came upon it quite by accident! Glad I did, though... :)

[Sassyash 150]

I'm still trying to figure out how this site works lol

[Phaedrus 209521]

I think a lot of people drifted away because they got bored. We lost a few regular posters at around the same time, and then C36 put a real dampener on everything as we all tried to figure out what we could and couldn't talk about... and at the same time, a lot of folks simply stopped posting. Some subsequently came back, some didn't. The fact remains that there are a lot of conversations we used to have before C36 that we just can't have now, and that remains a problem.

 

As for people being shut down as Sophia described... that's always happened to a greater or lesser extent. I don't think it's any better or worse now than it has been in the past. But it's good to eliminate it, and so if you see it... use this button!

Mod can't fix what he doesn't know about.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I miss Old Dog's witty and hilarious posts. :(

[PistolPete 61421]

I've dropped off quite a bit from here, had nothing to do with C36, simple fact is people move on, get busy with life (looking and working hard for early retirement) I have nothing to offer in threads. I do drop in time to time to read ads then look through the general albums.

 

It is.... what it is.... times change.

 

However I'm often more on another social media site which I enjoy for meeting other ladies when traveling state side or within the province.

 

Cheers ! ;)

[Honey Man 12759]

I post less because if I open a thread I have to click like crazy to get to the last post. and even reading the existing threads in a post is hard with the way this site is laid out.

[waterat 20911]

..... if I open a thread I have to click like crazy to get to the last post.

 

Whaaat? Just go to the last page (one click) and scroll down to the last post.

 

I usually log on at least once daily and I double click on the threads to mark them as all read unless I wish to read what has been added since my last login.

 

I tend to ignore the 'last purchase, next purchase, what you're doing, ABC's, underwear colour, story games, things that suck, etc.' threads - especially when someone has recently posted in each and every one of them.

I do view and appreciate the visual contributions provided by Notch Johnson, Cato, Touch and many other in the best bums, fripples, RHAG and other similar threads.

 

C-36 hasn't influenced me in any way but I'm not exactly a thread initiator though I will comment on any thread I find useful and interesting.

[Andee 220524]

I believe as a result of the new laws and the restrictions of what we can discuss here put a damper on things.

 

Also it seems some long time regular posters fell of the grid and there has been a lack of stimulating discussion.

 

I am glad to see mrrnice steering the boat to get us back on track.

 

Now if only we can get Old Dog, Phaedrus, Lee Richards et al to bring back some humour like the Fat Bastards thread, I think that would be awesome.

[Hondius 1151]

It's not just this forum. I belong to other forums that have seen a decline in activity since about 2013. With Twitter and Facebook people have many other options to stay in contact with others online.

[Ice4fun 78407]

I am not so sure that the drop off in activity here is attributable to people changing their habits because of the new law... I think the impacts of the law on this site has been more driven by how the rules around what we can or cannot say have been imposed.

 

I totally get that at the start of all this the owners of this site needed to protect themselves so they acted to ensure their risk was managed and I assume they continue to do that and you know what that is certainly their right... I am just suggesting that these new rules have dramatically impacted the discussion here. Let face it this is a site about sex and the business of sex yet we can't actually talk about sex.

 

This restriction on speech has made the discussion way less interesting so clients have less interest in hanging out and participating and frankly the strict application of the rules by the MOD (just doing his job) has resulted in the suspension or banning of a number of ladies who in the past tended to... lets say invigorate the discussion. So i think it's fair to suggest that the fear of the impact of being suspended has caused many to step back and if the ladies are not engaging then us guys quickly lose interest... we might come in and check the ads but we don't contribute like we used to.

 

In regards to the way we treat each other and the impact that might be having ...I have been a member of this board for over 5 years now for most of that time I lurked in the background and listened and learned.. in fact learned a great deal.  About 3 years ago I decided to become more active and up to recently I have tended to post regularly  ...  Now given the fact that I tend to have an opinion on everything some might suggest that I was too active and a little less opinion from Ice4Fun might be a good thing.... and that may be fair and they are certainly entitled to their opinion too.

 

My approach has always been you post something people are free to agree or disagree ... comment on it or ignore it... kinda like if Ice4fun's posts bug you then don't read them or if you disagree with me I am fine with you

telling me that publicly in the thread or in a PM if that would be more appropriate. This should be an open forum with a few restriction put in place by council and the Mod so that everyone's voice is open to be heard but perhaps we just need to hear more voices.

 

I have found this site to be a great place to do research and to learn..  to chat .. and of course to meet amazing people and not just all the wonderful sexy ladies but people like Tom (the Liquor) who significantly impacted me with the way he approached the issues in his life.

 

This board has been and I think still is a very valuable resource that we should all cherish and protect but we should also all realize that its open nature and welcoming atmosphere is not a given and if WE the members don't stand up for its values then it can be lost.

 

It certainly would appear to me that since the new laws were enacted that the volume of posts have declined ... there are less unique threads and we are seeing a smaller group of voices being heard (mine certainly being one of that smaller group) and I am not sure that is a good thing. 

 

Now it might be that we still have lots of active members just more are choosing to lurk because of the new law or it could also be that many members, both new and old, have chosen not to post because they have seen

how a poorly worded post or an ill-informed comment can result in their being beaten up in post after post by some members either intentionally or unintentionally and sometimes because they have a personal grudge to advance and now see an opportunity.

 

For an industry that has amazed me by the individual tolerance levels for diversity that its members demonstrate each day I  have been somewhat

shocked by the lack of tolerance for diversity of opinion that we as a group often show here in our posts.  I said WE because i have taken some time over the last couple

of days to review a number of my posts and have seen occurrences when my eagerness to post "my opinion" has meant that I have not always considered

how the wording of my comments might be perceived by other on the board with different opinions. This is something I will have to work on personally and

I am certainly open to encouraging any member who takes offense to one of my posts to call me on it ...  pop me a PM ..if I screwed up I will be happy to reflect and correct it.

 

Many regular members on this board have had a good chuckle at me over the last couple of years because on a couple of occasions I have gotten frustrated by

some of the drama that I see here on the site and walked away only to return a month or so later... what can I say in my real life I am not much of a quitter so why be one here but I wonder how many people have just walked away or regressed into the shadows restricting their posts to the fun and silly threads because they feel if they express a real opinion the self appointed site police come out and bully them into silence.  

 

Lets face it the ladies on this site use it to generate income so they can't afford to get into a pissing match with others members and risk being baned or suspended so I think we are seeing lots of ladies who are biting their tongue and putting up with it to avoid drama... so they just place their ads... make a few frivolous posts and stay out of the Drama...  Somehow that type of atmosphere is not what I think we the members wanted or expected as this is after all the friendly community.    

 

Just my Opinion