Guest *Ste***cque** Report post Posted May 24, 2016 Are they the same level of commitment, in your opinion? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Midnite-Energies 110563 Report post Posted May 24, 2016 Honestly I think the answer to that question lies with the people involved. many see it as a "trying on" situation to see if a longer term relationship would be a good fit. Then there are those who are very transient and it has no real commitment at all. I have known those who view any relationship as something committed and serious whether there is a legally binding document or not and others who believe it's not serious without the document. It all boils down to the decision to give a relationship/person the time, attention and dedication it deserves to make it work. Long term relationships aren't easy and require constant attention to make them work whether there is a piece of paper or not. Divorces have become much easier to obtain so many view it as living together may have been viewed before. I don't believe a certificate determines commitment, I believe people do. 6 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrgreen760 37785 Report post Posted May 24, 2016 30 years in, not married. Makes no difference as assets are co-mingled. A split would be just like a divorce. Peace MG 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ice4fun 78407 Report post Posted May 25, 2016 I agree with Midnite it's more about the people involved then the choice of marriage vs common law... there are people who will enter into either without any real commitment... people should just choose whatever works for them regardless if it's for the longterm or short. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Regent 35404 Report post Posted May 25, 2016 Totally dependent on the beliefs and views of the individuals involved. I'm also seeing more people these days living together and having a wedding but not getting legally married. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest *Ste***cque** Report post Posted May 25, 2016 I'm also seeing more people these days living together and having a wedding but not getting legally married. I'm not doubting you, Regent, but why would 2 people go for an expensive wedding but not get married? I admit, I am "old school" in my thinking around this. To me it seems people who get married are at least willing to make a serious commitment at the start. Of course, how long it lasts is up to the individuals. Mr. Green, my brother, and many, many others stay together far longer than many married people. I need to work on not being such a fuddy-duddy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boomer 33202 Report post Posted May 25, 2016 I'm in the marriage camp. Usually it's a ceremony that's performed solemnly with vows and promises in church, with family and fiends as witnesses. Today we seem to be loosing that link with faith. I think we only have to look at the PM taking the day off during his trip to Japan to show his wife a good time to celebrate their eleventh anniversary. Too often couples enter into an arrangement of living together with the idea that they can leave if it doesn't work out. It seems to me that the marriage commitment also sets a better example for children. But as stats show, many aren't willing to do the hard work it takes to be successful under either arrangement. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalCforcougar 16766 Report post Posted May 26, 2016 I am a child of a very nasty divorce... and one who has actually never been married myself.. I have enjoyed a few very long term relationships, without the *need* to validate it in a church with a piece of paper (one was 15yrs, out of which came my children, and the last one, which helped strengthen the marvelously confident beast you know and love.. was 13 years) I have seen so many people make that *promise* in church and seems to me to be the same as many other 'promises' made in church... *sigh* makes no difference to me.. and my parents.. who got married due to my mother carrying me <grin> DEFINITELY should not have even called each other the day after I was conceived hehe both are far happier apart ;) consequently, mom remarried, got divorced.. remarried.. dad remarried, divorced.. and has been common-law with a wonderful woman now for 11 years... <shrug> There are many ways to set examples for children, without a government document.. all mine ended up very well-rounded, successful, kind, contributing members of society and are not swayed by the opinions of others, which I think is marvelous :) strong parents = strong kids ;) There are pros and cons to each, i suppose, and as far as 'legal standings'... whether papered relationship, or common-law.. if/when the separation happens.. there is no difference... and there shouldn't be a difference with the commitment/promise one makes to another anyway.. hehe I do have to say I find it a bit funny, this discussion on this type of board ;) (yep.. that's me.. always the devil's advocate hehe) I mean I get it.. but.. hehe just sayin .. if we *all* kept that promise most of us have apparently made hehe well.... there wouldn't be lyla :( 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Regent 35404 Report post Posted May 26, 2016 why would 2 people go for an expensive wedding but not get married? Well my understanding is that they want to celebrate their relationship and commitment to each other with their family and community, but they don't want the state involved in their relationship. The people I know who have done this are also polyamorous which is a major factor, given that the state will only legally recognize one relationship regardless of how serious and committed your other relationships are. I'm sure there are other complex and personal reasons to choose this route as well. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
