Keep em....or Leave him

[BarrhavenWoody 10776]

I had a professor in university (about a thousand years ago) that advised that we should never tolerate having a bad boss. Just move on. Now that I am self-employed I have expanded that to include bad clients. They bring us down and are never worth it. Dump them and you will easily replace them with more and better clients.

 

BTW, I agree with Mc Lovin. You are drop-dead gorgeous! WOW!!!!!

 

Best of luck to you alexg!

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

What bothers me about this man is that he has no manners or couth. I wonder if you knew him in any other manner if he would be as rude and hurtful. Just because we are in this industry doesn't give people the rigth to treat us less then what we are and deserve. We are women,strong women to have to put up with as much bs as we do. We are also loving and tender and there for then men that need us and want us,the Gentlemen. If he thinks so little of you he shouldn't have been seeing you. I would have passed on the second date the moment he said anything rude or hurtful to me. One chance only and that's that. We all should treat others as we would like to be treated. hugs to you.

Emma

[tiimde71 176]

He is playing a game and not very well he wins when you lose your self worth. Be strong and toss the fool if women dont accept his abuse he might have to learn how to be a man.

 

Dont play his game Hun. I wouldn't meet him again thought I wouldnt mind an introduction to the loser.

[roamingguy 300292]

Alex

To answer the question, "keep him...or leave him?", leave him

No job, or relationship is worth having someone demean and disrespect you...no matter how much money he gives you

Obviously his abuse (yes abuse) bothers you. No need to keep him as a client, lose him. He'll find the loss is his, not yours. You deserve to be treated better

RG

[Reddog01 30280]

Leave him. You don't need this crap, nor should you accept it....

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Good Day to my fellow Cerbites

So I was downstairs washing my dishes and just couldn't resist posting this.Those that know me will be surprised as I generally do not say much on here,but once and a while I just have to.

This is how it begins...I was seeing someone (a client)for quite some time.Make no mistake about it he treated my very well...except by his words which to me mean more than gifts.But i like gifts too:)Over the course of 3 years little things were said that really bothered me...now normally I would just not see this person any longer but remember he treated me well..but most importantly I tried to tell myself he didnt mean it or was unaware of how cruel his words were.We ladies do provide a service but that does not mean we have to take unkind comments.(this happens to me rarely,,,,99 percent of you would never say these things...I think anyway)

I will give you some examples of what was said because without me writing them I will not get my answer....I have waited over a year to write this.

1) If we had a duo with a couple of ladies I would be second fiddle

2) My scars are so bad from a previous surgery that if I chose to have another surgery alot of people would not see me

3)I would like a 3 hour appt but you will need to ice your pussy(to me that is a disgusting comment

Now ladies and gents I did speak to this person more than once letting him know that these comments hurt my feelings very much and even though you bring me nice things I wont take it anymore

So I ask you am I crazy.....I dont think I am but did I overreact?Please remember this person treated me well except by his words(and trust me there is more)I also refused alot from this person as if I choose to not see someone for whatever reason I dont want to feel I owe them.

Oh and the clincher this came from someone that apparently wait for it...."was in love with me"

Thanks for your time alex g xo

 

Please Hunni! I alwayus say that if you do not feel right about it , then it is not right for you! Remember, that you are a real person, and yo do deserve the appropriate respect! Even if they are a client. I am in the sort of same thing , and learned that self importance has to come first! xoxo Sophia Varoushka. Take car and hold your head high!

[Guest G***f******]

I gotta echo the sentiments of everyone else here.

 

Verbal abuse can leave deep and long lasting scars, especially when they co e from someone who says they care about you.

 

And you shouldn't feel obligated to be with anyone just because they say they love you, that's how I wound up getting married and it's taken me 10 years to work up the courage to get out. How YOU feel about them, and how they make YOU fell should be the determining factor. If someone hurts you, or makes you feel less about yourself, you've told them so and they don't change, they obviously care less about you than they say they do.

[Boomer 33202]

This is a guy with some self esteem issues. Obviously at times he seems to think he has to show his power and control by bringing you down a peg, as a master would treat a servant. It's obvious he goes away and realizes what a great service hes been receiving because he keeps coming back to you bearing gifts. He just doesn't know how to show the respect you wonderful ladies deserve for taking care of us.

 

Cut him loose! but if you ever do see him again make him beg, get down on his knees and kiss your ass. Thats meant as tounge in cheek, I'm sure you're way above that sort of thing.

 

Good luck, and chin up.

[tiimde71 176]

This is a guy with some self esteem issues. Obviously at times he seems to think he has to show his power and control by bringing you down a peg, as a master would treat a servant. It's obvious he goes away and realizes what a great service hes been receiving because he keeps coming back to you bearing gifts. He just doesn't know how to show the respect you wonderful ladies deserve for taking care of us.

 

Cut him loose! but if you ever do see him again make him beg, get down on his knees and kiss your ass. Thats meant as tounge in cheek, I'm sure you're way above that sort of thing.

 

Good luck, and chin up.

 

I don't buy into the self esteem excuse. Some people get off on control and humiliation and they leave damaged people in their wake.

 

No matter what he says or does and how much he begs he is playing for another chance to degrade you, don't let him. You are a person not an amusement park for a freak. Your clients should be good people too.

[Guest s***der01]

i have seen you alex and you deserve to be treated like a queen

 

studder01

[ottanon 2930]

Dear fellow Cerbites,

 

I am posting this only because Alexg has asked me to otherwise I would not have.

 

I can assure you that I dont have any self esteem problems, I am not controlling or abusive. I have been an active member here for quite sometime and I am sure many of the ladies here who have met me would say that I was a gentleman with them and very nice.

 

What you are seeing here is a women scorned and trying to vent. Which is fine by me as I have stood by and looked at all your posts. The information has all been very 1 sided and not very fair to me without knowing my side.

 

I would prefer not to get into too many details as I think this really should be a private matter between Alexg and myself. But after 4 pages of negative posts I really have to post something.

 

Its true that I did have strong feelings for Alex. After so manay years of being my constant SP how could anyone not. I viewed her body as a work of art as anyone who has seen her would agree. I have the upmost respect for her and would never demean her or abuse her intentionally.

 

I seem to have to address a few issues reluctantly.

 

Alex was having some self image problems as she started to sag where maturing women do. I always told her that she was beautiful and did not need any surgery to make herself better. I assume that she felt she really needed it so had a breast lift. When I first saw her after her surgery I was shocked. This beautiful work of art has been badly scared beyond belief. I am sure it showed in my face but what could you do. I see she did not take that well. Later on she admitted that the surgery went wrong and her doctor was going to give her another free because it was so bad. I tried to be honest with her and told her that she shouldn't do it as it might make it worse. Now I believe in honestly and I was trying to be a friend. Should I have lied to her? Should I have not have tried to be a friend and give her my real Opinion? I noticed that others have posted in her recommendations about her scars, I did not. I was concerned that men would not be able to overlook this as it was really shocking.

 

The second fiddle thing is a fabrication. I had mentioned that I was with another Sp VJ on many occasions and we were discussing pictures that Alex wanted to take. I said I could contact VJ and asked who did her pictures on her behalf to see if she could get the same photographer. I never mentioned a 3 way, it was Alex however who said she would not like to have to do a DUO with her as VJ was so Beautiful. I never even suggested a DUO for them with me.

 

The Icy comment is true. I had panned a special Birthday 3 hour session and gave a list of things I wanted to do and Alex agreed to them. We were texting and it came across all wrong. I said you better rest up because we might have to icy your pussy down from all the action we are going to have. This was intended as dirty talk and what not meant to be demeaning in any way. You ever text something and mean 1 thing and the other person takes it as another? well this was the case.. Sort of having an SP say I am going to ride you so hard your not going to be able to walk straight.. Do I take that as demeaning to me? No.

 

I tried to control her? This is just ridiculous.. She is in total control the whole time. I have no control over anything in her life and never tried to. I think we can agree that the SP in control.

 

Yes I brought her many presents but never asked for anything extra in return for them. I made this clear to her many times that I enjoyed giving her things.

 

I am sure there are other things that were said but its all to personal in my opinion.

 

I have said this many times and I will publicly. Alex I am very sorry if I said anything hurtful to you this was never my intention. I believe that most of what happened was a mis-communication on your part and bad humor on my part. As a good for instance when Alex told me she did not want to see me anymore I said that I wish her well and thanked her for the time we spent together and would always treasure it.

 

In her world I found out later that to wish someone well is like flipping them off. Who knew?

 

So my fellow cerbites, please don't judge me so harshly. I have the utmost respect for SP's and anyone who has seen me would a test to. Alex I believe feels she made a mistake and acted to quickly in telling me to go away and is now looking for affirmation for her actions. if this is what she needs then so be it.

 

I am humbly apologetic to you Alex and am incredibly sorry if in any way I hurt you or treated you in any manner than that which you felt you should be. I am sorry for any feelings I may have caused you and wish things were different.

 

There are 3 sides to ever story and this was a sample of mine. I hpe that I do nt have to answer any more on this and you will all left me feel some of the Cerb love also. I was deeply hurt also after 3+ years with this Sp and am saddened that we could not end it as friends. It is too bad that even more messages are going back and forth that are not very nice.

[alberta 222]

Dear fellow Cerbites,

 

I am posting this only because Alexg has asked me to otherwise I would not have.

 

I can assure you that I dont have any self esteem problems, I am not controlling or abusive. I have been an active meber here for quite sometime and I am sure many of the ladies here who have met me would say that I was a gentleman with them and very nice.

 

What you are seeing here is a women scorned and trying to vent. Which is fine by me as I have stood by and looked at all your posts. The information has all been very 1 sided and not very fair to me without knowing my side.

 

I would prefer not to get into too many deatils as I think this really should be a private matter between Alexg and myself. But after 4 pages of negative posts I really have to post something.

 

Its true that I did have strong feelings for Alex. After so mnay years of bieng my constant SP how could anyone not. I viewed her body as a work of art as anyone who has seen her would agree. I have the upmost respect for her and would never demean her or abuse her intentionally.

 

I seem to have to address a few issues reluctantly.

 

Alex was having some self image problems as she started to sag where maturing women do. I always told her that she was beautiful and did not need any surgery to make herself better. I assume that she felt she really needed it so had a breast lift. When I first saw ger after her surgery I was shocked. This beautiful work of art has been badly scared beyond belief. I am sure it showed in my face but what could you do. I see she took that not well. Later on she admitted that the surgery went wrong and her doctor was going to give her another free becuase it was so bad. I tried to be honest with her and told her that she shouldnt do it as it might make it worse. Now I beleive in honestly and I was trying to be a friend. Should I have lied to her? Should I have not have tried to be a friend and give her my real Opinion? I noticed that others have posted in her recommendations about her scars, I did not. I was concerned that mem would not be able to overlook this as it was really shocking.

 

The second fiddle thing is a fabrication. I had mentioned that I was with another Sp VJ on many occaisons and we were discussing pictures that Alex wanted to take. I said I could contact VJ and asked who did her pictures on her behalf to see if she could get the same photographer. I never mentioned a 3 way, it was Alex however who said she would not like to have to do a DUO with her as VJ was so Beautiful. I never even suggested a DUO for them with me.

 

The Icy comment is true. I had panned a special Birthday 3 hour sessiona nd gave a list of things I wanted to do and Alex agreed to them. We were texting and it came across all wrong. I said you better rest up because we might have to icy your pussy down from all the action we are going to have. This was intended as dirty talk and what not meant to be demeaning in any way. You ever text something and mean 1 thing and the other person takes it as another? swell this was the case.. Sort of havng an SP say I am going to ride you so hard your not going to be able to walk straight.. Do I take that as demeaning to me? No.

 

I tried to control her? This is just ridiculous.. She is in total control the whole time. I have no control over anything in her life and never tried to.

 

Yes I brought her many presents but never asked for anything extra in return for them. I made this clear to her many times that I enjoyed giving her things.

 

I am sure there are other things that were said but its all to personal in my opinion.

 

I have said this many times and I will publicly. Alex I am very sorry if I said anything hurtful to you this was never my intention. I beleive that most of what happened was a mis-communication. As a good for instance when Alex told me she did not want to see me anymore I said that I wish her well and thanked her for the time we spent together and would always treasure it.

 

In her worlsd I found out later that to wish someone well is like flipping them off. Who knew?

 

So my fellow cerbites, please dont judge me so harshly. I have the upmost respect for SP's and anyone who has seen me would atest to. Alex I believe feels she made a mistake and acted to quickly in telling me to go away and is now looking for affirmation for her actions. if this is what she needs then so be it.

 

I am humbly apolegetic to you ALex and am incredibly sorry if in any way I hurt you or treated you in any manner than that which you felt you should be. I am sorry for any feelings I may have caused you and wish things were different.

 

There are 3 sides to ever story and this was a sample of mine. I hpe that I do nt have to answer any more on this and you will all left me feel some of the Cerb love also. I was deeply hurt also after 3+ years with this Sp and am saddened that we could not end it as friends.

 

I can't believe that you would post this half hearted apology in an attempt to set the record straight. In trying to justify your inexcusable actions, your callous comments have only succeeded in further demeaning this lady and validating her decision to discontinue seeing you.

After being told that your comments initially made her uncomfortable, you continued to the point where she finally ended your arrangement. And then to repeat many of those same comments in your post in an attempt to tell your side of the story and make yourself look better, with no regards as to how they might affect Alex, is inexcusable.

You still don't get it do you, respect is a two way street, if you expect it, you have to give it, and it seems that you give far to little.

[ottanon 2930]

Well, Alex read this before I posted it and asked me to post it... I am sorry you disagree with it . This was not a half hearted attempt at anything, I have already received many nice PM's from people who do know and met me. And now that they know its me they dont see things the same way.

 

Like I said there are many sides to a story... I don't really care what you believe, but felt I had to defend myself in someway. People tend to forget that I too was hurt by all this.. You realy have no idea what you are talking about.

[tiimde71 176]

Wow Alex good choice leaving this jerk. Come on man no one is buying your gentleman routine. It might work on women you play mind games with but not the rest of us. Ladies steer clear of this one and Alex stay strong.

[Guest ***nsut***jr]

Ottnon I think we should you at your word on this, it seems to me the right thing to do in light of the fact that Alex has asked you to or agreed to your post.

Alex has or will have the opportunity to read your post and maybe publicly ask to close the matter and you guys can work it out privately.

There must be some pain on both sides so I will wish you guys the best of luck in dealing with it.

 

I hope happier times are ahead for you both

 

J

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

I hope that this gives both of you the opportunity to heal. Only you two know exactly what happened and it appears that both of you were hurt in the process. I sincerely hope that by getting your feelings out in the open you can proceed to the next level be it together or apart.

 

Be well both of you!

[ottanon 2930]

Thank you john, it really is bad for both in my opinion. I am not trying to take blame away from myself as I obviously hurt her but did not intend to. I apologized and accept her wrath.

 

 

Ottnon I think we should you at your word on this, it seems to me the right thing to do in light of the fact that Alex has asked you to or agreed to your post.

Alex has or will have the opportunity to read your post and maybe publicly ask to close the matter and you guys can work it out privately.

There must be some pain on both sides so I will wish you guys the best of luck in dealing with it.

 

I hope happier times are ahead for you both

 

J

 

Additional Comments:

Thanks Meg, I do wish her the best and those that know me know this must be a mnis-understanding on both our parts. I in no way am trying to appear to be blameless.

 

I know that there are going to be posts from guys who are still going to lambaste me, but they probably dont know either of us or have ever seen her to be so judgemental. Its too bad so many guys on cerb are too busy trying to score points or boost their points ratio to try to help us both get through this.

 

 

I hope that this gives both of you the opportunity to heal. Only you two know exactly what happened and it appears that both of you were hurt in the process. I sincerely hope that by getting your feelings out in the open you can proceed to the next level be it together or apart.

 

Be well both of you!

[bucky501 923]

What do you say that we just call it a day on this and let the resepctive parties move on--whichever way they like? This is a terribly private matter that is better resolved without the microscope of this community.

[spud271 47779]

What do you say that we just call it a day on this and let the resepctive parties move on--whichever way they like? This is a terribly private matter that is better resolved without the microscope of this community.

 

I agree with you bucky, this is a private matter and should not be discussed in public like this. I would also say let's just call it a day on this and move on please!

[alexgrenyait 2186]

I have asked that this thread be closed

[ottanon 2930]

Thank you all to those thst PM'd me with your kind words. I understand why you can repost...