Frustrated experience - advice pls

[HappyJay 154]

Hi everyone. I am kind of new here. Recently I have some frustrated experience and am wondering what I should do to enhance my experience or to avoid further frustrations. For gents with more experience, could u pls give some advice? Thank u very much.

 

The problem is some SPs (hopefully only a few) kept her clients waiting/kept postponing and/or then was not able to make the appt. Out of my limited 5 appts, 3 made me waiting more than half an hour (as opposed to the pre-agreed time), among them, the worst 1 is postponed again and again and finally she was not able to make it, but without notifying me before&after. (initially I had an appt with her yesterday, but she failed to make it. I was so determined to see her (she has quite good rec here, remember) that I booked her again for the time 5pm today. After many text messages back and forth, confirming availability. I was very hopeful, but when at 4:30, she said she could not make 5pm, but 5:45 4sure, which I agreed. she said she would txt me when she was ready, which she never did. Even after I txt her concerning her absence, still no reply.- I called her, she didn't answer/reply.) Very frustrated! I actually went to her address, but without her apt no., I could do nothing. :(

 

Don't ask me who she is. I decide not to tell. She must have her reasons. I don't want to put her into difficulty. Life is not easy for SPs, gents. I guess I am gentleman enough. lol. I do understand that emergencies do arise sometimes and either the client or the SP was not able to make his/her appt. But the most important thing, I think, is get informed/communicated well.

 

I am starting asking myself: Why this happened to me? Is it bcos I am a newbie/new client, so I am of not that importance? For those veterans, did u have similar experience in the beginning? what's ur suggestions/advices for avoiding such bad experiences? Thank u very much for anything u could say.

all the best.

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

Jay although your question was directed to the gentlemen here all I want to say is it all resumes to lack of respect, you being new to this should not influence in someone to have this kind of unprofessional behaviour, it that was the case she could just refuse to see you. All clients deserve respect and to be taken serious and I will not say new or regular clients should have a certain priority but one should make sure to do her best in satisfying both for them to have reasons to come back, just like it should be in any other business.

 

I am starting asking myself: Why this happened to me? Is it bcos I am a newbie/new client, so I am of not that importance? For those veterans, did u have similar experience in the beginning? what's ur suggestions/advices for avoiding such bad experiences? Thank u very much for anything u could say.

all the best.

[Guest s******ecan****]

I am starting asking myself: Why this happened to me? Is it bcos I am a newbie/new client, so I am of not that importance? For those veterans, did u have similar experience in the beginning? what's ur suggestions/advices for avoiding such bad experiences? Thank u very much for anything u could say.

all the best.

 

This type of things happens to all of us at one time or another. The best way to avoid such experiences is to book with ladies that have good Rec's. But this doesen't guarantee you won't still have this problem from time to time as things happen in life.

 

You have to make some personal guidelines about how many "second chances" you want to give any particular SP. Its a balance between how badly you want to see her and how reassured you are that the next appointment will be kept.

 

So long as you keep seeing SP's you will still experience missed appointments from time to time but repeat no shows with the same SP are only possible if you give her the second chance.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

... Why this happened to me? ... For those veterans, did u have similar experience in the beginning? ...

 

You are not alone, HJ. I hate this particular part of the hobby. There's plenty of threads and posts on CERB about various aspects (and both sides!) of the "no-show" phenomenon ... it's something that is a part of reality and is not a problem that can ever be "solved". It will not go away for you once you become a veteran. Nor is a lady's reputation here on Cerb a guarantee by any means. The unexpected will always pop up in everyone's life every now and then.

 

Having said that: as I've mentioned before on other no-show threads, I'm a firm believer in the Pareto Principle -- 80% of the no-shows are created by 20% of the ladies. So I do carefully remember exactly who has comprised my personal 20% (and their explanations). I judge my subsequent choices accordingly. Using this approach, your success rate in this area will improve.

[Guest f***2f***]

I would agree with all that has been said. The answer to your question to us "Vets" is yes we have all experienced this. It is very frustrating. My solution has been to be a repeater...that is when I find a lady who is reliable and hot I keep going there. There should be a loyalty program like Air Miles available for guys like me...lol.

 

I very rarely TOFTT anymore as that has ended badly any number of times...from just a plain no show to a real disappointment. I take good recos from vets seriously and if I have to book with a lady I haven't seen before I make sure she is highly recoed by Long time members whose judgment I respect.

 

I avoid "drama" like the plague that is usually a good indicator that things can go south pretty quick...if not the first time then the next. If there are too many excuses, delays, etc......meh I'm not interested.:roll:

[Cato 160314]

I agree with our veteran members here, though I've been lucky, and the times I've TOFTT'ed have turned out to be some of my best. It's part of the excitement to try the unknown.

 

There was also a case where I tried to see a certain sp three times before we actually connected. Every time she had to cancel, for one reason or another, leaving me very, very frustrated. I persisted though, because she looked so hot in her pics, and we had a lengthy e-mail correspondence, in which she seemed smart and attuned to things that interest me. When we finally did meet, it was electric, and so worth the hassles I had put up with. Then she cancelled the next time....

I guess it comes with the territory.

[whatsup 11893]

HappyJay, I understand your disappointment in not being able to meet up with the provider of your choice.

 

I personally would not waste my time on this particular provider because of the facts you stated.

 

I also recommend that you do not go to her location without a confirmed appointment.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

She double books on a regular basis, has an air of flakiness to her and/or just doesn't give a crap about the element of customer service in this business. The fact that she kept you waiting and waiting indicates that she had probably booked appts back-to-back or double booked ( worried that one guy might not be a no show) or some other guy may have showed up late. Meanwhile, you lose out on your appt that you took the time to book.

 

As an SP, booking appts like this one after the other is very stressful because you cannot predict the outcome of schedules, whether or not the Sp is ready and prepared to see you, etc. Seeing client after client is like a mad rush ( I admit I've done it in the past when working for an agency) and can no longer do it. I like to have some time in between in case something happens. However, I don't always have this option but I always tell them when they are booking the appt that I need time to get ready which is about 20 minutes.

 

I don't think it is because you are new to this or are inexperienced. It is also difficult to tell how reputable someone is on a board because you can only see one side of it and you cannot determine what a person's behaviour is going to be like out in the real world. I would say on future visits that you perhaps engage the SP in conversation on the phone to get a vibe as to what she is like. You cannot be certain if an Sp is high volume or not or she may be someone who is in high demand. My advice is to take a chance on someone else and would chalk up this incident to being a fluke. You probably caught her on a day where she is busy as Fridays usually are but it's still no excuse for unprofessional behaviour.

[HappyJay 154]

Thanks all for commenting here. I appreciate them.

 

You are not alone, HJ. I hate this particular part of the hobby. There's plenty of threads and posts on CERB about various aspects (and both sides!) of the "no-show" phenomenon ... it's something that is a part of reality and is not a problem that can ever be "solved". It will not go away for you once you become a veteran. Nor is a lady's reputation here on Cerb a guarantee by any means. The unexpected will always pop up in everyone's life every now and then.

 

Having said that: as I've mentioned before on other no-show threads, I'm a firm believer in the Pareto Principle -- 80% of the no-shows are created by 20% of the ladies. So I do carefully remember exactly who has comprised my personal 20% (and their explanations). I judge my subsequent choices accordingly. Using this approach, your success rate in this area will improve.

 

Wrinkled, Thank u for pointing out this and ur suggestions.

 

I agree with our veteran members here, though I've been lucky, and the times I've TOFTT'ed have turned out to be some of my best. It's part of the excitement to try the unknown....

I do agree with u, Cato. This is an exciting part of it. Maybe I am just out of luck.

 

All the best to everyone!

[Jazzitup 5652]

HJ,

You have been wronged and it is up to her to make amends. If she can't be bothered to do that, then you shouldn't bother with her. Take your bussiness some where else where it will be appreciated. If she offers a good explanation and says how sorry she is, then you may want to give her that second chance. You should also ask the tough question "So how do I know this won't happen again?" and decide if you like the answer. Bottom line ... you shouldn't have to put up with this.

[fortunateone 156618]

Being put off a couple of times sounds like she is honouring a previous commitment who has not shown up but has confirmed and/or verified he will be showing up. As sps all we can do is set up an appt, and if we have one on the way, is provide an ETA based on the first appt's ETA. If that first one is off even by 15 minutes, it upsets the balance. That is why it is important for the sp to have a system that helps prevent having her time wasted, and having her waste other people's time.

 

So, if you make an appt, do whatever you have to do to confirm it, by voice, and don't accept any substitutes. When you allow texting, and someone is answering but saying she is not available what does that mean? She is textingyou in the middle of her appt with someone else? She is stuck in traffic and cant make it to the location? She isn't the one texting, and making these promises, someone else is? Who knows.

[Andee 220524]

She double books on a regular basis, has an air of flakiness to her and/or just doesn't give a crap about the element of customer service in this business. The fact that she kept you waiting and waiting indicates that she had probably booked appts back-to-back or double booked ( worried that one guy might not be a no show) or some other guy may have showed up late. Meanwhile, you lose out on your appt that you took the time to book.

 

As an SP, booking appts like this one after the other is very stressful because you cannot predict the outcome of schedules, whether or not the Sp is ready and prepared to see you, etc. Seeing client after client is like a mad rush ( I admit I've done it in the past when working for an agency) and can no longer do it. I like to have some time in between in case something happens. However, I don't always have this option but I always tell them when they are booking the appt that I need time to get ready which is about 20 minutes.

 

I don't think it is because you are new to this or are inexperienced. It is also difficult to tell how reputable someone is on a board because you can only see one side of it and you cannot determine what a person's behaviour is going to be like out in the real world. I would say on future visits that you perhaps engage the SP in conversation on the phone to get a vibe as to what she is like. You cannot be certain if an Sp is high volume or not or she may be someone who is in high demand. My advice is to take a chance on someone else and would chalk up this incident to being a fluke. You probably caught her on a day where she is busy as Fridays usually are but it's still no excuse for unprofessional behaviour.

 

I agree with you, Nicki, but maybe she's not double-booking. Maybe there are other mitigating factors. Maybe she's just terrible with time management, or maybe she is involved in a lifestyle where time slips away from you because you're either too wrecked or paranoid to keep the appointment - okay I'm going out on a limb here - but I've seen it even with so-called "elite" Sps who advertise here on CERB. Hate to sound negative, but it does happen. There can be maybe many explanations. Who's to know?

 

The bottom line is, as you say, totally unprofessional and basically unacceptable. We often hear complaints about clients no-showing, but when an Sp does it (consistently), to me there's no excuse. And that makes it look bad for the rest of us, which I personally resent!

 

Happy Jay: I would say, you deserve better and look elsewhere for a lady who will value you as much as you hopefully will value her. It comes down to good business practice and good manners! Please do not give up on hobbying because of this. This is not the norm, believe me!

 

Good luck to you and welcome to hobbying. I hope you get to experience some good times.

[Jim.Bean 241]

There have been a few girls that haven't replied to my e-mails but I have never been stood up. A few bait and switches. But even one of those was way better than what I was expecting.

 

I usually take a fairly business oriented approach.

1st e-mail. -An intro to who I am, What are your rates (if not posted) & are you avaialble on this specific date and time.

2nd e-mail -State my preferences (clothing) and confirm time and date.

3rd e-mail on the morning of meeting(or phone if that is her preference) -Confirm were are still on schedule

 

It's not just a hobby for the SP but a business as well. In my proffession meetings are considered a very valuable commodity. It may come across a bit cold but I find that if I keep the business part of our meeting purely proffesional than the pleasure part of our meeting can focus on exactly that

[hunknhot 1067]

What ever the reason is, you seem unhappy and frustrated and that is the total opposite of what you are looking for.

 

Just try someone else (hint: a few of the SPs that replied here :)).

 

Do your research here and other places.

 

Communicate well and your part. Could be just bad luck or it was not meant to be..

 

Hope you find you a better experience!

[Grass_Hopper 18263]

Jay, I'm sorry this happened to you, but you have to take at least two things in consideration...

 

1- You are fairly new to this, and are not considered yet as a regular by some of us... Being a regular (this means booking with the same girl more then 3 times, same time, same day, even if there is months between each appointment) brings some advantages...

 

2- The number of no-shows is hawfull, so, for myself, if I don't know you, I will not consider the appointment as serious if I did'nt saw you at least once before...

 

These consequences are very sad, but they reflect very well the bad business that was going on in the last years...

 

You guys have to talk to each others so it stops, the consequences with the no-shows...

 

XxXSabrinAXxX

[Guest Ou**or**n]

Sadly for most ladies they view their time in the business to be passing and thus do not take the same long term view as some of the ladies hear in this thread take. Rather they try and make the most money in the shortest period of time which means taking as many bookings as possible and then going through with the bookings as either they can or their moods strike them.

 

The hit and miss nature can either be interesting or frustrating depending on your point of view. If it is frustrating stick with established indy's or the better agencies. Nothing is guaranteed but it will improve your odds.

[HappyJay 154]

........

Happy Jay: I would say, you deserve better and look elsewhere for a lady who will value you as much as you hopefully will value her. It comes down to good business practice and good manners! Please do not give up on hobbying because of this. This is not the norm, believe me!

 

Good luck to you and welcome to hobbying. I hope you get to experience some good times.

 

Thank u Angela. She has lost one possible regular client, I believe. I have been out of the blue and am contacting a better (best, IMHO) lady here. :boobeyes::grin:

I feel very warm here in this community with a lot of mental support, encouragement and good advices. Thank u all! May all u happy and well!

 

Jay