Status?

[Guest]

Status

 

This is something I touched on a bit in this thread: click here and wanted to reiterate this topic/ word it better. No matter how much education there will always be someone out there with more "status" than you. I have no problem with this, I actually celebrate this, along with individualism. I think it's great when people have the dedication to go to school for 11 plus years to become a doctor or engineer. These dedicated people should be decorated and celebrated. What gets under my skin is when people try to use their or other peoples "status" to belittle or cut someone down.

 

Some people come from the school of thought that University is better than college, that going to school longer is better than the shorter more fast paced, condensed, courses. That this degree is better than this one and ultimately this job is better than that. Not taking in consideration that there's people out there that don't want to be Doctors or Engineers, no offence, I'm just using these two skill sets/jobs as examples. That they are happy with their schooling (whether they go to school or not) and chosen career path.

 

In my opinion, the only thing that should matter is that you truly enjoy what you are doing and that you are properly trained/have the right skill sets to preform properly. Sometimes "status" can be motivating, it makes you want to perform at a certain level, to get to a preferred place in your life. However, that preferred "status"level decision should be made by you and not others. I myself try to block out what I call "the white noise" as much as possible. It just reminds me of that bratty kid that stuck out his tongue and said I'm better than you because I have this toy. However, instead of toy place: degree, job, material items(a different type of toy). I think that this may be part of the reason why so many people live outside their means. I mean keeping up with the Jones is not new logic. It's sad and it sucks that we may even feel like we have to keep up to some unrealistic standard.

 

I write this here because I don't like to see the status logic being used in companionship. This companion is not good enough because she's uneducated, she didn't go to this school, she didn't take this course. Why should that even matter? Providing the companion gave the service she/he described. I'm scared that it just feeds into some of the stereotypes that are out there about companions. For example: we are on drugs, we may be forced into this, we are victims, we have no choice but to do this because we can't do anything else. Some clients forget that we as companions provide a fantasy, an escape and that they are not entitled to know what goes on in our personal life. When we share such things and they are judged it just makes us guarded and not want to share more. There are even times when someone will have a predetermined opinion of you and no matter what you do to get to know them; they will never give you a chance. I guess I don't understand why people who do not have a high opinion of companions come to see us anyway? I have never thought that anyone needed an education to be an interesting, intelligent person. In my opinion we are all beautiful, smart women/gentlemen and I just don't think we need to have a doctors degree to prove that or to gain respect. What makes seeing companions so interesting is the diversity in personalities and bodies. It's human nature to like certain people more than others. It's okay to have a favorite. What's not okay is to dehumanize others because they are not to your standards and or taste for whatever reason.

 

I just wanted to put this out there as I'm curious to read opinions on this.

 

[Mikeyboy 27133]

Well said.

 

I agree that people should not be judged on such things. I've known highly intelligent and articulate people with little formal education, and I've also known highly educated people who could not carry a conversation. Letters after a name mean very little to me in my personal life.

 

As far as prejudging in the sp profession goes, I have to admit that I was probably a bit guilty of this in the beginning myself. Hey, I only had TV to go by and that's never wrong right?

 

One of the first things I noticed way back when I found this site was that there were many very intelligent, articulate and insightful posts from some very interesting ladies. Some of whom who were quite highly educated I might add. (Again, not that the formal education matters, but it just helped to shatter all of my preconceived notions.)

 

Thanks for the great (intelligent, articulate and insightful) post.

[Guest]

Thanks, M.B. I think it's always important to break stereotypes about this industry. I'm not saying turn a blind eye to things and I'm sure there's unpleasant situations going on out there. However, there's happy, healthy, providers and no matter what, everyone needs/deserves to be respected.

[Guest st*****ens**ors]

Great thread and comments, Peachy!

 

I'd go even further. Education is only one mechanism we use to keep score of our worth. Economic status, occupation, background, association, location are others.

 

There is no measure of human worth greater than the individual. Everything else is peripheral.

 

In my admittedly brief experience with sp's and ma's, I have met some amazing people. Their backgrounds, ages, education, and personalities have varied widely, but not one has deserved less than my complete respect and appreciation.

 

I've also seen at least one really bad situation, and been victimized by it. Even there I mostly just feel concern for the provider involved, whose victimization was worse than mine.

[blacklabdog 3049]

anyone who has to belittle another person is the one with a problem. If it wasn't level of education, he'd use some other arbitrary indicator of status on another person.

Education has no correlation with what type of person they are and it is certainly no guarantee that they can carry on a thoughtful conversation.

[Guest]

anyone who has to belittle another person is the one with a problem. If it wasn't level of education, he'd use some other arbitrary indicator of status on another person.

Education has no correlation with what type of person they are and it is certainly no guarantee that they can carry on a thoughtful conversation.

 

You are so right! Remove education and add for example: looks, personality and my favorite, even breast size. Viola, there you have it, a reason why I or she is not good enough for the individual that is not quite happy with us. You can't please everyone. All you can hope for is to keep on pleasing the people who do like you and who do see value in you. Shrugs shoulders.

[50 Shades Raven 31380]

Great thread Peachy.

 

Status, or lack thereof, is the opinion of the one doling out that opinion.

I know people that have grade 6 education that are smart as a whip, congenial, genuine and caring.

I also know people that have PhD's that are arrogant, conceited, manipulative and undeniably narcissistic.

And vice-versa.

 

My respect of a person is in the way they portray themselves to me. It doesn't matter what school they did/didn't attend, what line of work they are in whether that be blue collar or professional, or how much money they make.

What matters to me is: are they respectful; do they care about meaningful things; are they trustworthy and can they hold a conversation.

 

Society's 'painted picture' of all providers being 'bullied into this'/on drugs/alcoholics' is just way out of proportion.

 

I'm sure there are those that are forced into this, but there are others that do this as a means of survival and those that do this just because they love it.

 

There have been countless incidences when I am asked for pictures to be sent because the potential 'client' has so-called "standards".

Well, my answer to that is, 'honey, if I don't have enough pictures for you to look at between my website and profiles for you to make a decision on, then you are not the client for me'.

(These requests usually come from the guys that swear up and down that they will be 'everything I have ever desired in a man', but that is their opinion, not mine when they get to the door)

 

If you are choosing a provider, you are choosing based on pictures, rapport with others, style and a little bit of curiosity.

Where that persons education or background comes from should NOT play a part in this.

 

Can you imagine if we went to a doctors office and when asking them where they went to school and how they paid for it, if the answer came back to a school that wasn't ivy league and they worked their way through school so you told them you were going to someone else as they didn't fit your standard? How would that turn out?

 

This is the same thing! If you like someone, like them for everything or don't see them.

 

There are no such thing as 'social classes' anymore, I believe that died in the last century.

 

My background, upbringing and education has zero bearing on what I do in providing. Would I still be as caring, compassionate and giving with no education? Of course I would.

 

To those that think we are lower than slime, just because we do this, why in hell do you seek us out for companionship?

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

This is a pet peeve of mine, how people treat others that they feel are not at their level.

 

In my line of work I can deal with presidents of companies and people who have next to nothing. I dread business trips where I'm spending a few days in the company of self made men as many(not all) of them tend to worship their creator. All they talk about are their trips, possessions, successes. They are so superficial, and the way some of them treat service people makes me want to strike them.

 

Contrast that with a down on his luck fellow that hung outside a coffee shop who asked me for money. I eventually got to know him a little over a few months and his insight into politics and life in general was uplifting. He had such a kind heart.

 

Your external status is not what counts. What counts is what is inside you. Are you kind, generous, honorable? Live for a purpose, not for status, and you will have lived a full, self aware life.

 

I wish more people were as introspective as you, Peachy. The world would be a better place.

[blacklabdog 3049]

PS Congrats on getting your diploma! 'Status' is easily trumped by courage and perseverance.

[Guest]

PS Congrats on getting your diploma! 'Status' is easily trumped by courage and perseverance.

 

Thank you! It really wasn't an easy journey. It was riddled with self discovery, anguish and at times heartache. However, it was worth all of that.

 

That's why I posted this song,

, on my ad explaining to my regulars what I was up to because I really resonated with it.

 

You know that it was a friend that convinced me to go back to high school and then to college. He was understanding, kind, and inspired me; instead of making me feel like I was less than. That's what I want to be like. School is a safe place to inspire you to grow and that's the way it should be. In my opinion having an education is a jumping start to your future; not a spring board to hold someone else down.

[waterat 20911]

A welcome thread Peachy! As soon as I started reading it I knew you would enjoy a musical addition to it and low and behold you beat me to the punch (this is not the first time this has happened, lol)

 

As the fantastic Bruce Cockburn puts it: "Can it be so hard? To love yourself without thinkin' someone else holds a lower card."

 

Free to Be:

[bellafan 11341]

Dear Peachy,

 

Your insight is amazing! We are all here to do our best and to enjoy our lives :)

 

We are here to love and respect each other :)

 

Good for you!

 

Hopefully without telling tales out of school, I understand more and more, why my dear friend LM thinks so highly of you :)

[Guest]

Dear Peachy,

 

Your insight is amazing! We are all here to do our best and to enjoy our lives :)

 

We are here to love and respect each other :)

 

Good for you!

 

Hopefully without telling tales out of school, I understand more and more, why my dear friend LM thinks so highly of you :)

 

That's the thing Bellafan. If LM wants to like me and my companionship; he shouldn't have to come up with reasons or explanations to why he enjoys seeing me. Tales about school or not.

 

This thread is ultimately about respect. In the end we are not toys, we are woman/gentlemen giving our time and companionship. In my opinion we should be treated fairly no matter what the reason.

[roguebmw 180]

Very well articulated and heartfelt. All we should wish for in the people we meet is that they try to better themselves to reach their own goals and not try to do it on the backs of others.

[Guest]

Very well articulated and heartfelt. All we should wish for in the people we meet is that they try to better themselves to reach their own goals and not try to do it on the backs of others.

 

Well, us companions work hard to: run a business, keep in contact with our clients, we pay for own ads, we write our own ads, we pay for our own maintenance (hair, nails, cloths, ect, we have to look good), we answer our own emails, we answer our phone when we are available to, we keep our location clean which includes laundry, we keep our location staked with everything a client needs, we show up on time prepared (which means more items to think about and that costs money and it costs money to get there too). Did I forget something? Plus if we are attending school we have the added pressures of that. I think that it's suffice to say that if a lady or gentleman is doing all of that, they are living off no one's back. Trust me doing all of that is enough without the added pressures of school, or having another job/career, ect.

[mrgreen760 37785]

Not much of a status guy myself. Could really care less and as some one who chose the work world over the education world it was the right choice for me. Never chased the Jones and am happy to live the way I do, which is not complicated and very well compared to lots so I have no complaints.

 

I recall speaking to a graduating Master's class in Environmental Studies, I was the CEO of an largish environmental organization at the time and they were rapt with interest and attention, I clearly new my stuff and was an effective and engaging speaker. During Q/A the question of my education came up and they were more than a little surprised to hear I had no post-secondary education at all. Interesting that their tone and body language toward me changed and that I was sort of no longer worthy to listen to. I was used to this type of reaction and kinda relished the opportunity to engage with them. As I explained I didn't need to be an expert in this field or any other field.....I could hire all the experts I'd ever need.

 

What I can do is manage people and the organization......which isn't that common.

 

Peace

MG

[roguebmw 180]

Hey Peachy, I ran my own company for two decades and I can sympathize. Any small entrepreneur has huge demands and an overwhelming learning curve to keep up and hopefully prosper. People who have not tried it have little concept of the effort and determination required. You should be very proud of your accomplishments and don't let anyone tell you to the contrary.

[cinelli 22184]

Personal perspective here....

My dad was a scientist, published papers and did peer review for a journal in his field.

He did many experiments that required apparatus made by metalworkers, carpenters and even a glassblower. He always considered them equals, with a different specialty than his, and members of the team.

Once he had a team of foreign scientists visit for a joint project. Their team leader was from a society with a strict caste structure, and he would never speak to any tradesman, or listen to one. My dad had the task of dealing with people on his behalf. This was part of a major international project and there was a lot of pressure from cabinet. For months dad would come home all worked up because his visitor had once again insulted a co worker and pushed their project further and further behind schedule.

Eventually most of the key tradesmen simply avoided working on the project. They had other priorities or ran out of material or had to wait for parts. You get the idea. The project was abruptly halted and several visiting scientists had to go home. Because the head of their organisation was a jerk.

Moral: you get nowhere being arrogant, nomatter how important you think you are. Show a bit of respect and people will do almost anything. Everyone makes their own choice.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Going to college or university only shows that you have the ability to learn. While some may think it defines a certain social status, I have to disagree. I know many people who have university educations and are just floating by in life from one meaningless job to another and some don't have life skills. They may have had the ability to learn but when it comes to real life experience, it's something they can't grasp.

 

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and unfortunately women are going to be stereotyped in this business. The difference is I *know* who I am and many gentlemen have gotten to know me but not on the level that some others have who have shown the respect and consideration.

 

Don't get me wrong, I have great clients but I'm sure some have preconceived notions before meeting but maybe we all do. A job, a career or a degree is something we do or have accomplished, it's NOT who we are.

 

I don't care for the stuffy, pretentious types and when I used to market myself a certain way, I'd attract those kind of men and many of them I didn't care for. Over time as I felt comfortable in my own skin and didn't worry about what others thought, I came into my own being myself and started attracting really genuine, down-to-earth type of men.

 

Speaking for myself, I've learned to have a tough skin in this business so whatever anyone thinks about me now, I don't care. It's none of my business what others think about me. Again, it's what I do. Not who I am.

[Guest st*****ens**ors]

Going to college or university only shows that you have the ability to learn.

 

Actually, it only shows that you have the ability to PAY. Finishing a program might mean you had the ability to learn, or it might mean that you simply test well, or bluff well, depending on what you were studying. Or it might mean that you acquired a meaningful set of skills and knowledge. But you can also acquire those without going to University.

 

There's an old-fashioned term that has fallen largely out of popular usage, but which I still rather like.

 

A Good Person. Capital G, Capital P. I like to find Good People. I like to spend time with them, and learn from them and correspond with them. They make life better. They are the best friends, the best lovers, and, by strange coincidence, the best kissers ;)

 

I've found a few of them here, and think it likely I will find more.

 

Steve McQueen articulated the heart of it really well in his post when he asked, "Are you kind, generous and honourable?" You could probably add a few more characteristics in there if you like, but that's it at its essence.

 

For me, it doesn't even depend on being articulate (which a number of people have mentioned). Some people are good with words, and some, by inclination or training, went in a different direction. We'll probably have better conversations if you're articulate, but as long as you are kind, generous and honourable, I'm almost certainly going to admire and like you.

 

Everything else is arbitrary, or shallow, or fleeting, or foolish.

 

Just Friday afternoon thoughts.

[Guest S****r]

Actually, it only shows that you have the ability to PAY. Finishing a program might mean you had the ability to learn, or it might mean that you had the ability to pay.

 

And conversely just because somebody does NOT have a university degree does NOT mean that they are not able to learn.

[Guest Prufrock Cummings]

Actually, it only shows that you have the ability to PAY. Finishing a program might mean you had the ability to learn, or it might mean that you simply test well, or bluff well, depending on what you were studying. Or it might mean that you acquired a meaningful set of skills and knowledge. But you can also acquire those without going to University.

 

 

I have to wholeheartedly disagree with "it only shows that you have the ability to pay". I think that obtaining or completing any form of education be it high school, university, college, or trade school, shows great courage, discipline, hard work & effort, and not an ability to bluff over years/decades of study (how can one bluff their way through math, science, medicine, etc. for years, or decades?). The "ability to pay" for some of us meant taking on multiple jobs and 6 or 7 years to complete a 4 year program because the "ability to pay" just wasn't obtainable in 4 years.

 

I would be happier to have a neurosurgeon with bad social skills tinker with my noggin, rather than a cool dude who dropped out because he acquired awesome social skills at parties and learned how to be a doctor from watching soap operas!

 

Tongue-in-cheek aside, great thread Peachy! The school of hard-knocks can also be a great school in the long run. I feel a Bill and Ted quote coming on about being excellent to one another (which is the true intent of the OP's thread) so I feel I should exit stage left right now...

[Helena D'Orville 33237]

I recently did a survey to which 17 anonymous gentlemen using the services of escorts responded. One of the questions was about the criteria considered by gentlemen to make their decision regarding seeing a companion or not. "Education" ranked last upon 14 criteria. "Her personality" ranked #1, "Her sensuality" ranked #2, "The city where she is located" ranked #3, and "er intelligence" ranked #4. Although I am aware that 17 respondents is a very small pool within the population, it was still very much interesting to discover the results.

 

As I often say, since I have been a private companion, I have learned a lot about myself, about men, about women, about society, and about humanity. And what I am learning is priceless. Until you are a private companion, you can never really understand what this occupation is really about. Even if you think you do, you don't. Fascinating. There is no diploma for that.

[Guest]

Let's not make assumptions about students/graduates. We don't know how each individual has paid for their course, how hard or easy it was for them, and if they truly gained anything from it. I think it does take dedication and determination to see something through to the finish. Education does have value in today's society in regards to being properly trained for the career of one's choice. I for sure wouldn't go for an open heart surgery if the surgeon wasn't accurately prepared. However, not all drop outs are partiers, druggies and we don't know what their background history is either.

 

Interesting post Helena and I couldn't agree more. I think any companion in their own right deserves some kind of recognition. I mean to put yourself out there in such a personal, intimate way, takes courage in it's self.

[Guest st*****ens**ors]

Hello Prufrock. If you track what I was saying to the original quotation from Nicolette Vaughn, you'll see that the assertion was that, "GOING to university or college," only shows that you have the ability to pay. FINISHING, a program might mean more, depending on the program.

 

As a one-time professor myself, I can ascertain that many Canadian universities view first and second year students as cash cows.

 

And yes, there are disciplines in which testing well, bluffing well, or a combination of both can see you through to the end of a program, albeit with less than stellar grades.

 

Fortunately, maths, hard sciences, and medicine are not among those disciplines.

 

Not to mention neurosurgery. :)

 

In the end, my point is the same as Peachy's. "Let's not make assumptions about students/graduates." Letters after your name do not necessarily signify capacity or status. I've known some deeply silly, boorish and incompetent people with doctorates, and some remarkably wise, clever and accomplished people who never finished high school.

 

That doesn't, however, mean I believe education is meaningless. It can be profoundly important. It simply isn't something I'd trust as the measure of a person.

 

Actually, it only shows that you have the ability to PAY. Finishing a program might mean you had the ability to learn, or it might mean that you simply test well, or bluff well, depending on what you were studying. Or it might mean that you acquired a meaningful set of skills and knowledge. But you can also acquire those without going to University.

 

 

I have to wholeheartedly disagree with "it only shows that you have the ability to pay". I think that obtaining or completing any form of education be it high school, university, college, or trade school, shows great courage, discipline, hard work & effort, and not an ability to bluff over years/decades of study (how can one bluff their way through math, science, medicine, etc. for years, or decades?). The "ability to pay" for some of us meant taking on multiple jobs and 6 or 7 years to complete a 4 year program because the "ability to pay" just wasn't obtainable in 4 years.

 

I would be happier to have a neurosurgeon with bad social skills tinker with my noggin, rather than a cool dude who dropped out because he acquired awesome social skills at parties and learned how to be a doctor from watching soap operas!

 

Tongue-in-cheek aside, great thread Peachy! The school of hard-knocks can also be a great school in the long run. I feel a Bill and Ted quote coming on about being excellent to one another (which is the true intent of the OP's thread) so I feel I should exit stage left right now...