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Horrible Movies Let's Save Eachother Time!

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Guest Prufrock Cummings

I finally saw The Neon Demon last night. I really wanted to like it but I found it trying to force itself to be artsy (especially when the mountain lion was found in the hotel room).

 

At first it was a critique on the modelling industry and youth, then it became a little bit like Rosemary's Baby, then, I don't know what when it got into necrophilia and cannibalism. I didn't know whether I was supposed to laugh or be grossed-out when one person vomited an eyeball.

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"The Lobster"....ughhh. Why did I bother. I should know better than to take movie recommendations from my sister by now -_-

Don't be so hard on yourself Mia... Come on, you saw a movie called, 'The Lobster' I TOTALLY would've watched it too! I mean, who could resist! If you have time, tell me what it was about. (and don't say, 'A lobster' lol)

 

Additional Comments:

I finally saw The Neon Demon last night. I really wanted to like it but I found it trying to force itself to be artsy (especially when the mountain lion was found in the hotel room).

 

At first it was a critique on the modelling industry and youth, then it became a little bit like Rosemary's Baby, then, I don't know what when it got into necrophilia and cannibalism. I didn't know whether I was supposed to laugh or be grossed-out when one person vomited an eyeball.

 

LMAO!!! What genre is it considered?

 

I love a movie that leaves me thinking. I haven't seen this yet but couldn't help but ponder the horrific sensation of vomiting up an eyeball!

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Fifty Shades of Grey. This movie never interested me when it originally but decided to watch it tonight. I cringed at watching this. LOL.. Not my cup of tea.. I guess this is considered risqué for Hollywood but I found it to be predictable and slow. The leading male character is very manipulative in the beginning where he really puts on the pressure to do things she isn't 100% sure of. That's not what a dominant and submissive relationship is truly about. Consent is everything but this isn't reality so I suppose that's what makes a weak plot more exciting.

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Guest st*****ens**ors
The Watchmen ...bad superhero movie ,,,just plain SUCKED !!!

 

Oh, I thought it was a mixed bag. Excellent story, beautiful cinematography, but really uneven acting. It features one of the most awkward sex scenes ever filmed, so there's that to look forward to.

 

However the image you won't be able to get out of your head is the giant glowing blue cgi member on Dr Manhattan. You watch it swinging about and have to think that some animator had to write the code to give that thing physics!

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You watch it swinging about and have to think that some animator had to write the code to give that thing physics!

Yes, in the animation world it's known as Gainax physics or jiggle physics and usually applies to young ladies' breasts.

 

The old Billy Zane's Blue Dong conversation. I've had it many times.

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Guest Prufrock Cummings
Oh, I thought it was a mixed bag. Excellent story, beautiful cinematography, but really uneven acting. It features one of the most awkward sex scenes ever filmed, so there's that to look forward to.

 

However the image you won't be able to get out of your head is the giant glowing blue cgi member on Dr Manhattan. You watch it swinging about and have to think that some animator had to write the code to give that thing physics!

 

Agreed, it had some really good moments, and yes the sex scene was so awkward, hitting the flamethrower as they "got it on" was embarrassing. The movie was very faithful to the 1980's graphic novel, except for the last 30 minutes or so. The opening fight when The Comedian gets killed was almost frame by frame taken right from the graphic novel.

 

The opening scene as they rolled the credits to Bob Dylan's The Times are Changing is classic.

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Fifty Shades of Grey. This movie never interested me when it originally but decided to watch it tonight. I cringed at watching this. LOL.. Not my cup of tea.. I guess this is considered risqué for Hollywood but I found it to be predictable and slow. The leading male character is very manipulative in the beginning where he really puts on the pressure to do things she isn't 100% sure of. That's not what a dominant and submissive relationship is truly about. Consent is everything but this isn't reality so I suppose that's what makes a weak plot more exciting.

 

Nicolette: LMAO Thanks so much for this review. It was a pleasure to read. I haven't seen the film cuz I figured it was lame. I forced myself to get through the book (I'm an avid reader but knew this wasn't for me) and its pretty much what you described. It not only gives bad references to D/s & other kink relationships, its also greatly misinformed in vanilla sex as well! Putting some pretty bad ideas out there. Also the fact that the male interest is a 29 year old billionaire is just irritating and shallow AF (again imo). It was also poorly written as a matter of taste/personal preference (I don't enjoy present tense-1st person for fiction). I also found it overall cheesy, predictable etc. So I didn't see it and am not planning to but have been curious to hear some feedback, so thanks for this! :-) Cant say I'm surprised.

 

Additional Comments:

The Watchmen ...bad superhero movie ,,,just plain SUCKED !!!

 

 

Awww sad to hear! And many seem to agree. I haven't seen it yet but was excited to as many told me its fantastic. Guess its a split, one of those you either love or hate. At least with your assessment, if I sense its lame in the beginning, I wont waste time hoping it gets better. This thread does save us time lol

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Guest Prufrock Cummings

I saw a movie today called Empire State of the Dead, a zombie movie that takes place in New York State. It was so bad that it almost fit into the so bad it's good category. It was fun to pick out the mistakes; they would flash a date at the bottom of the screen, for instance August 25, 08:45am, but then you see a clock on the wall and the time on the clock is 11:00, and it is dark outside at 8:45am in August, and well, the foot of snow on the ground seemed a little off for the time of year. Then when they flash the date and time, it is the next day, and ther is no longer snow, it is summer. The only good this about this movie was to pick out all the mistakes!

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Guest Prufrock Cummings
I really have to watch those sometime.

 

lol, I think the concept of this thread is to warn you not to watch these movies ;)

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Aim For The Roses.

It isn't likely that anyone else will even run into this one, but I feel I have to mention it anyway. A friend took me to the local repertory theatre to see this.

It is a film about a few different things, but with one theme: Ken Carter. He was a rocket car stuntman in the 70s who attempted to jump a car over the St. Lawrence River.

Then, some lunatic made an album about that. It's all done on double-bass, which I play, so was kind of interested. Plus, there's a lot of math thrown in to the musical theory.

Good lord. Watch the trailer. It will give you a pretty good idea. I mean, it was kind of entertaining all the way through, but it was just kind of kooky. Not in the way that I like.

 

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The Watchmen ...bad superhero movie ,,,just plain SUCKED !!!

 

I actually enjoy that movie a lot. It's a very accurate adaptation of the graphic novel and visually stunning. Even if the ending was slightly different from the source material, it reached the same conclusion.

 

But if you watched that movie dry expecting a traditional family friendly superhero movie, I can certainly understand why you were so turned off by it. I remember seeing a few families walking out, when watching it in theater. It was clearly written 18 ADULT on the ticket and I seriously questioned the judgement of parents bringing a 10yo kid to see this. If you took the time to read the source material or watch the "motion comic" version released in 2008 you would likely see this movie in a better eye. But if movies with social comment are not your cup of tea, I completely understand.

 

Movies I hate are the Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer spoof movies like "Meet the Spartans", "Epic Movie" and "Disaster Movie" to name a few. These two idiots literally killed a movie genre. The first "Scary Movie" was actually good, but what followed was a series of unfunny shipwrecks. And I think the same can be said about Adam Sandler movies. With the exception of the "Hotel Transylvania" movies, seriously WTF happened?

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Guest J**ck*9

The Movie "Mother" was extremely disappointing to me. I thought that the ad campaign shrouded in all of the mystery in not knowing a little about what this movie was about was genius. So I went and checked it out because I love the actors playing in it ( Jennifer Lawrence, Ed Harris, Michelle Pfeiffer...etc...).

 

What I saw was a very strange and sometimes disturbing. People were getting up and leaving part way through the movie with one disturbing scene where about 50 people got up and left.

 

I think the plot and story line was interesting. The problem was in how the story was told and displayed.....

 

All round bad ... IMO

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The Movie "Mother" was extremely disappointing to me. I thought that the ad campaign shrouded in all of the mystery in not knowing a little about what this movie was about was genius. So I went and checked it out because I love the actors playing in it ( Jennifer Lawrence, Ed Harris, Michelle Pfeiffer...etc...).

 

What I saw was a very strange and sometimes disturbing. People were getting up and leaving part way through the movie with one disturbing scene where about 50 people got up and left.

 

I think the plot and story line was interesting. The problem was in how the story was told and displayed.....

 

All round bad ... IMO

 

 

I haven't seen that movie because I made my homework. This movie was directed by Darren Aronofsky, the man behind movies like "Black Swan", "Requiem for a dream" and "The Fountain"(to name a few). He's known for heavy symbolism and religious undertones, and from I read on this movie he cranked both to 11 for this one. The entire movie is an analogy for something else and I won't spoil it here.

 

Like often the case with this type of f..ked up movies, it's hard to sell to a mainstream audience. So, the studio's marketing department got creative and pretty much sold it as an horror/mystery genre, creating mixed reviews from critics and moviegoers. Most fans of Darren Aronofsky's work enjoyed the movie. But if you went blind, your reaction to it is a bit normal. Every directors got their own visual style and ways to tell a story. Once you know who's behind a movie, it's often easier to know what you're getting yourself into.

 

I'm not disagreeing with your assessment but just making the point on how a quick research can save you from a bad movie experience or provide a good heads up for what you're gonna see without spoiling it.

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Guest J**ck*9

Thanks for the insight Gregsand ... Will be more aware of his movies in the future

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Thanks for the insight Gregsand ... Will be more aware of his movies in the future

 

Your welcome. And can pretty much say the same for many directors. Like a few years ago, I introduced my mother to Quentin Tarantino with Kill Bill. Before watching the movie, I explained her the rules of his movie universe with the language, cartoonish violence, Asian influences, nonlinear story telling and the insane amount of blood. With that knowledge she had far more enjoyment out of the movie was curious enough to see others like "Pulp Fiction" and "Django Unchained". If it wasn't for the soft introduction , she likely never would have appreciated the genre.

 

The same with Kevin Smith movies. There many great little movie like "Clerks", Mallrats" and "Dogma". But if you start with "Tusk" or "Yoga Hosers" made for a very limited audience, you'll likely get a very bad first impression.

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"Baywatch" is not just a horrible movie, but just plain obnoxious. Contains gross-out sex jokes only young teenagers would find "entertaining", even if clueless about the source material. The same could be said about "CHIPs" who used the same formula and had nothing to do with the popular TV series. With the first barely making a profit and the second that bombed hard, hope some producers are getting the message.

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Guest Prufrock Cummings

I'm a huge Darren Aronofsky fan (Black Swan and The Wrestler being two all time faves), but like Jrock99 said, the film "Mother" was a disappointment. It was a wannabe Rosemary's Baby that, well, just fell flat.

 

I think I will go watch "The Bad Batch" again and "Raw" to lift my spirits.

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As a fan of the two first "Alien" movies(and consider some of the others like guilty pleasures) I was looking forward to see "Alien: Covenant". And the movie was not only bad, but plain insulting.

 

To put things in context, Ridley Scott who directed the first movie in 1979, returned to the franchise with "Prometheus(2012)". That movie was not perfect with a messy script and a confusing marketing. It was advertised as a separated story in the "Alien" universe but also kind of a prequel. The result was a visually stunning movie with an intelligent sci-fi story with themes of creation and evolution. But that was only in the first half. For the rest of the movie it became pretty dumb and confusing. But it was different with minor story problems a proper sequel could fix. And this is where "Covenant" pretty much f.. up the franchise.

 

Without going into spoilers, "Alien: Covenant" tells a completely different story and only answer some questions through a convoluted plot, flashbacks and one-liners. And if throwing the previous movie under the bus was not bad enough, they created a completely stupid and unnecessary origin story of the xenomorph(a.k.a. the alien creature). It's not only dumb, but sucks the mystery that made it such a terrifying monster. And for the rest of the movie, it becomes a cliché slasher without any creativity. Unacceptable coming from a director like Ridley Scott.

 

If you're unfamiliar with the franchise and want to see great sci-fi thrillers, watch "Alien" and "Aliens". As for that cinematic turkey, simply avoid.

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[/size]I grew up loving the Men movies but that Last one I just CHALK"d up to "eye Brow" war/S ... the ones with real THICK eye brows don't move their face & the ones with Less eyebrows are FULL of MOTION & angst.

 

the one with NO eyebrows comes up with HORRIBLE ideas to kill everyone X-}

 

 

I can relate because my eyebrows have been through so much but MOSTLY I do them a kindness by not touching them more then twice a day... I try not to break MY eyebrow rule/S. when I was in school I did so many weird & unbecoming things to them (x-}

 

but I still move my face= TRUE STORY

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