Ask a hobbyist

[Charlotte Edwards 8590]

I honestly feel like there's no good way for us to respond to a new random guy who just sends us "hi" or "hey".

 

I've tried numerous things:

 

Also responding with hi or hey - mostly ignored or replied with "sup" or "avail?"

 

Asking - "hello what can I do for you today?"- either ignored or once I actually received "a sweet bj" in response [emoji19]

 

Sending an auto reply asking for their name, age, ethnicity, time and duration of request gets either ignored or they reply with "32 Caucasian 1 h" and can't even respond to all I asked

 

Asking "hi who's this?" - gets totally ignored

 

I feel like the excuse that they are sending out a feeler text and don't know if the lady is available or it's the right number is BS. This happens immediately after posting an ad, I am available and they should know what number they texted. Any time I try and engage with someone who starts off with a "hey" or "hi" or "avail" is almost always like pulling teeth and a waste of time because they can't be bothered to even type a sentence or what they want.

 

This is why I prefer email and hate dealing w text with new clients now. Regulars I don't mind but that's because I know who they are and don't suspect they're some 16 year old lol.

 

 

To book with me starting off on the right foot looks more like this at the very least:

 

Hi Charlotte

 

My name is Jim and I'm 43 years old. I'm looking for an appointment today around 3 for an hour. Thank you

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[TorontoMelanieJolliet 4458]

 

Perhaps it would help if you would tell us your ideal greeting would be... how would you prefer people contact you. What would you ideal client introducing himself conversation go like.

 

See, I don't really know. I would love a text that lets me know important info like time (range) but that will never happen. People decide for themselves what is their most important 'issue' and address that first before they go ahead and get specific. Can be a curse or a blessing.

[OceanMassage 5357]

For me Hey is a mean to enter in another person's space to establish first contact and not dump my story or needs on that moment. A hey back is an invite to continue in the approach

 

As for cologne I too like the old spice original. Most cologne make me sneeze very badly. Especially anything floral most women wear. I prefer prescious resins, woods, musk and citrus like bergamot.

[blacklabdog 3049]

what's the constant requests from guys looking for Asians?

 

I am must be odd as I am Chinese and its just another race to me

 

maybe because I am 3rd generation CDN

 

if only the ladies had same interest haha

[NotchJohnson 214123]

This happened to me lately. I send a text to a lady stating my name, asking if she is still visiting and asking for 1 hour. I get a text late that evening asking for a picture of myself...???? I ask her why she needs a picture and she replies by saying that she left town already. I still don't use the "Hey" but I'm starting to wonder if it might not be the new "My name is John Doe and I would like to see you for 1 hour around 2pm tomorrow if you are available" because for an old guy like me that hits 2 or 3 buttons with my big fingers on the phone it is so much easier to just type "Hey". Maybe I'm just ranting right now, sorry about all of this folks.

[Mikeyboy 27133]

what's the constant requests from guys looking for Asians?

 

A. They are hot!

 

B. They are relatively rare in this industry. (at least in my small corner of the globe.) Many of us entered the hobby simply for variety. It's the spice of life you know. ;)

[nntsci 11076]

A. They are hot!

 

B. They are relatively rare in this industry. (at least in my small corner of the globe.) Many of us entered the hobby simply for variety. It's the spice of life you know. ;)

Yes Asians are hot, and different; variety is the spice of life.

For me personally, once upon a time (over 29 years ago) I was working with a young lady (T) in Toronto who was originally from Hong Kong. T had just finished her social work degree. The hug congratulating her eventually lead to a brief affair... my wife caught me the first time... my wife and I eventually reconciled. I think we were both reluctant to tell our families it was all a big mistake less then a year after getting married. For ever after I think my wife is over confident in her ability to read my mind.

T was my only "affair" per se...

Anyway, every now and then I look for an Asian Lady SP to remind me of that brief encounter with T.

[TorontoMelanieJolliet 4458]

Question: How do I tell young men that I prefer not to see them?

 

Their view of the world seems to be rooted not so much in the realities of life, but more like from the movies. So they try to impose their perceptions on me. (of course, there is the whole stigma thing too). It makes it hard to impose boundaries and such.

 

What are their expectations when they announce their age to me? How do they expect me to react? How do I tell them when they inquire without a long explanation, and without messing with their sense of self? What would you want to hear if you had to be told your age was a problem?

[Emma Alexandra 123367]

Question: How do I tell young men that I prefer not to see them?

 

Their view of the world seems to be rooted not so much in the realities of life, but more like from the movies. So they try to impose their perceptions on me. (of course, there is the whole stigma thing too). It makes it hard to impose boundaries and such.

 

What are their expectations when they announce their age to me? How do they expect me to react? How do I tell them when they inquire without a long explanation, and without messing with their sense of self? What would you want to hear if you had to be told your age was a problem?

 

I just tell them-sorry i don't see anyone under 35.

[Guest st*****ens**ors]

I think Emma is exactly right. You don't need to explain your boundaries, you simply need to make them clear. Its kind of you to worry about their sense of self, but, frankly, it isn't your responsibility to safeguard.

 

State your restrictions clearly and politely, and if someone demands an explanation I'd not bother to respond.

 

Half of the point of being self employed is that you have the exclusive right to set the parameters of how you do business.

 

Or in other words, they're not the boss of you ;)

[TorontoMelanieJolliet 4458]

I just tell them-sorry i don't see anyone under 35.

 

I do. :) Although my cut off is 28. Because to raise it to 35 would negate a lot a good and decent guys. Also, I do see alot of more youngers than I do olders. But under 28's come in waves (and it's summer so I'm riding that wave now)

 

I get a responses like 'but Whhhhhyyyyyy?'. 'Can you just tell me....puleeeeze'. And I'm trying to end (text) conversations civilly now, and/or not just hang up on them when they call/text.

 

They announce their age like they are waiting for something. And I am wondering what that something is.

[Guest st*****ens**ors]

Anyone who responds "whyyy? Puleeeeeze..." has a problem with a sense of entitlement.

[Guest S****r]

State your policy and then just block them. Avoid the whole drama.

[TorontoMelanieJolliet 4458]

That seems like it might be easy but that is not the way it works. That is why I am asking.

 

Blocking doesn't solve the text coming in. It doesn't stop the calls either as they network and inundate me with calls from friends they have communicated with. They call private caller or change their number (app) and try again. That is the drama, not the initial call.

 

And this is part of the reason I prefer not to see under 28's. So how do I handle it diplomatically the first time to stop the after-effects?

[nntsci 11076]

The best answer I can give is just be honest and direct to the point. They have lots of options, so I don't see them suffering.

[Manluvsex 13731]

How about something like: "Based on my experience I find that I am more comfortable with older men and have therefore chosen to limit my services to men over the age of 28."

[Guest S****r]

Someone should merge these two threads. Lots of good stuff here.

 

:-)

[nntsci 11076]

How about something like: "Based on my experience I find that I am more comfortable with older men and have therefore chosen to limit my services to men over the age of 28."

and if you really want to be nice you could refer them to someone else (or to an agency)

[TorontoMelanieJolliet 4458]

and if you really want to be nice you could refer them to someone else (or to an agency)

 

I once tried to push someone onto a foot fetish service (because they want cheap) for the 40$ he was offering. (One day I searched one because of all the requests I was getting.) And then I had to deal with his texts all day about how there was a door fee, b&s and this and that. Only to find out he only wanted to pay 40$ to someone who would take it (not a professional foot fetish provider) even though he knew it was a ridiculous request and he was aware he was taking advantage. So no thank you to recommending. It's just another way to waste my time.

 

PS: I don't know a soul in this business. I work alone and have never been with an agency. I was a stripper for most of my adult life. This is new. And besides, do I really want to direct someone who I find not so appealing onto some other random girl? That's not very nice

[Guest S****r]

Sorry, my friends, I put in the wrong link. (blush)

This is the thread I was saying we should merge with this: http://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=167786

 

Lots of great info.

[capitalCforcougar 16766]

. So no thank you to recommending. It's just another way to waste my time.

 

PS: I don't know a soul in this business. I work alone and have never been with an agency. I was a stripper for most of my adult life. This is new. And besides, do I really want to direct someone who I find not so appealing onto some other random girl? That's not very nice

 

I'm not sure 'nice' would be the word I would choose hehe but certainly, if there are people contacting you for things you do not provide.. how is it a 'bad' thing for you to let them know of others who might... or...

..once you get to know a few of us, that is <grin> worst case scenario at least they leave you alone ;)

 

perrrrhaps best idea.. simply giving the name of a site (lyla, cerb, perb... bp hehe)... To each their own though .......<shrug>

[Guest Prufrock Cummings]

Sorry, my friends, I put in the wrong link. (blush)

This is the thread I was saying we should merge with this: http://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=167786

 

Lots of great info.

 

Yes tons of info there! I was at home with a cold a few weeks ago and read a million questions on that thread and the Ask an Escort thread, Helped to pass the time when I was sick, but both threads were very interesting!

 

Nice that someone started another, but yes, they should be merged

[TorontoMelanieJolliet 4458]

i'm in toronto ..... and i worry about my own business. unless i should send them to winnipeg? hmmm done here. know who? c'mon.

 

Additional Comments:

I'm not sure 'nice' would be the word I would choose hehe but certainly, if there are people contacting you for things you do not provide.. how is it a 'bad' thing for you to let them know of others who might... or...

..once you get to know a few of us, that is <grin> worst case scenario at least they leave you alone ;)

 

perrrrhaps best idea.. simply giving the name of a site (lyla, cerb, perb... bp hehe)... To each their own though .......<shrug>

 

read it again, and the implication. and the judgment behind it

[Raven Rain 10542]

What is the maximum amount of time that a lady should be texting you back by? (for discretion reasons)

Example: while I am with someone ,someone else texts me.I do not get your text till after when I am free.

[nntsci 11076]

What is the maximum amount of time that a lady should be texting you back by? (for discretion reasons)

Example: while I am with someone ,someone else texts me.I do not get your text till after when I am free.

If I don't get a reply, I wait. No problem. If I don't hear from her in a day and its the day were supposed to meet. Panic!!! Buts that has never happened. With one lady, we only text the day we're meeting or if we haven't finalized plans the day before... otherwise we exchange email for which usually get a reply in a day or two.