Ask a hobbyist

[NotchJohnson 214123]

What is the maximum amount of time that a lady should be texting you back by? (for discretion reasons)

Example: while I am with someone ,someone else texts me.I do not get your text till after when I am free.

I assume that most dates are average 1 hour length and I would not expect you to stop anywhere in that 1 hour length of time with me to answer a text from a potential customer if we are in the middle of something important. On the other hand I'm washing myself or I fell asleep(likely not) I'll accept you answer the text.

So now I'm the potential customer texting you the same applies, within the 1 hour frame time is good.

[Smirk 1920]

I usually respond with "Hey is for Horses", last week He returned. "well that's too bad, because I'm a Pig". I laughed at that one. He booked & it was fun. I'm only avail part-time, and I assume with "hey" they're checking to see if I'm around.

[jackiegilcrest 5152]

100% agree. There is no proper way to entice some who's first contact is "Hey", "How are you doing?", "how's your day?". It simply cannot be done, from my experience. They are looking to either ask crude questions or are not serious inquirers. My first few months, I would try different ways of responding to no avail. They are either not serious inquires or ask crude questions.

 

 

 

I honestly feel like there's no good way for us to respond to a new random guy who just sends us "hi" or "hey".

 

I've tried numerous things:

 

Also responding with hi or hey - mostly ignored or replied with "sup" or "avail?"

 

Asking - "hello what can I do for you today?"- either ignored or once I actually received "a sweet bj" in response [emoji19]

 

Sending an auto reply asking for their name, age, ethnicity, time and duration of request gets either ignored or they reply with "32 Caucasian 1 h" and can't even respond to all I asked

 

Asking "hi who's this?" - gets totally ignored

 

I feel like the excuse that they are sending out a feeler text and don't know if the lady is available or it's the right number is BS. This happens immediately after posting an ad, I am available and they should know what number they texted. Any time I try and engage with someone who starts off with a "hey" or "hi" or "avail" is almost always like pulling teeth and a waste of time because they can't be bothered to even type a sentence or what they want.

 

This is why I prefer email and hate dealing w text with new clients now. Regulars I don't mind but that's because I know who they are and don't suspect they're some 16 year old lol.

 

 

To book with me starting off on the right foot looks more like this at the very least:

 

Hi Charlotte

 

My name is Jim and I'm 43 years old. I'm looking for an appointment today around 3 for an hour. Thank you

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Additional Comments:

I usually respond with "Hey is for Horses", last week He returned. "well that's too bad, because I'm a Pig". I laughed at that one. He booked & it was fun. I'm only avail part-time, and I assume with "hey" they're checking to see if I'm around.

 

I'm going to have to try that one of these days when I'm feeling a little coy!

 

Additional Comments:

Just hang up the phone in that case, and block that number.

 

You don't need to explain why. Doing so will only invite an unnecessary discussion, whereby they will most likely try to force you to accept them.

 

The younger ones don't seem to grasp that our criteria for a client is not the same as our criteria for a real date, and take it personally... Next, in line!

 

That seems like it might be easy but that is not the way it works. That is why I am asking.

 

Blocking doesn't solve the text coming in. It doesn't stop the calls either as they network and inundate me with calls from friends they have communicated with. They call private caller or change their number (app) and try again. That is the drama, not the initial call.

 

And this is part of the reason I prefer not to see under 28's. So how do I handle it diplomatically the first time to stop the after-effects?

[NotchJohnson 214123]

Here is what I found after deep research on the "Hey" subject.

[nntsci 11076]

as a hobbyist, I much prefer making arrangements by email... in part because its much easier to type a message on my computer then on a tiny phone... I only phone to book an appointment if I want an appointment that day (which is very rare), and I only exchange text messages with two ladies I know well and most often on the day we've already arranged to meet... and its usually things like she says "I'm running 10 minutes late"... we switch to text because they don't have a data plan...

[nntsci 11076]

I would like to know: What does 'hey' really mean when contacting a sp? And what is the expected response?

 

Does anyone know?

 

Thank you

 

I was going through my older post to find something and came across the discussion about the meaning of "Hey"... and remembered that the last 5 email messages I've got from the beautiful lady I'm seeing next week have all started with "Hey" (well actually it was "Hey Love"). lol... I find that really funny.

[Luckyme 41401]

I was going through my older post to find something and came across the discussion about the meaning of "Hey"... and remembered that the last 5 email messages I've got from the beautiful lady I'm seeing next week have all started with "Hey" (well actually it was "Hey Love"). lol... I find that really funny.

 

Most of the emails from a fav lady and a regular of mine start with " Hey, U". I don't find it anything other than heart warming. It just reflects her fun-loving personality and her comfort level with me.

[nntsci 11076]

Most of the emails from a fav lady and a regular of mine start with " Hey, U". I don't find it anything other than heart warming. It just reflects her fun-loving personality and her comfort level with me.

 

"Hey U" would work if she's a Pink Floyd fan. LOL.

[capitalCforcougar 16766]

"Hey U" would have actually been possible from my gal... because she's a big Pink Floyd fan (and so am I). LOL.

 

haha... nice!

and yes, with that sort of familiarity, i would also not have issue with the 'hey'.... or variation thereof... only one that always confounds me is this:

 

"Hey"...................................................................................................................................<huuuuuge silence inserted here please.................

 

no answer back.. no nothing.... odd ;)

 

or the usual:

 

"You available today?" to which I promptly answer yes/no.. along with available times and the request to let me know asap.... and again.... enter crickets..... lol

 

I suppose my question to a hobbiest... would be why do that? hehe why ask.. then not even reply back as to whether or not the times given would work for you? frrrrrustrating ;)

 

or (almost) worse... why ask without clarifying what it is you are after that day? (specific massage or....) really helps with booking if we know this right away ... just sayin ;)

 

something like "hey... do you have openings today around 2 for a full body massage/ 1/2 hr lingam massage?" is lovely ;)

[Guest st*****ens**ors]

I think there is a cultural shift taking place as most people move from telephoning to texting. The chief distinction is that on a phone call you have some minimal obligation to interact with the person on the other end of the line as a person. Texting lets you sidestep that, not just in this industry but everywhere. A hundred characters on a screen are not the same as a voice, and a hand holding a phone. Their reality doesn't signify the same way, nor does the obligation of a polite response.

 

The only way around is to require first contact by phone, but that obviously has its own liabilities.

[slipin-jimmy 1020]

hey there, noob question...when booking an appointment, do you give out your real name or a "hobbying name"? The reason I ask is because of privacy concerns...I know the ladies use their own creative names and I can understand them wanting to keep their work and personal lives apart but I have many reasons to want the hobby and other parts of my life apart as well. I know most would promise confidentiality, but so did ashley-madison and we all know how well that played out...just wouldn't want my name left on a client list on a lost/stolen phone, hacked or even a misplaced paper list...

 

I'm aware of the recommendation of getting a burner phone but I guess im just a bit paranoid...a healthy dose of paranoia never hurt anyone...in fact it probably saved my ass a few times...

[Guest payforpink]

I don't post much any more but happened to just check in tonight.

 

As to the first question, if you are interested in attempting to follow up, you could just respond with a simple "?" If you dealing with someone who is just a bit shy that might elicit more of an inquiry once they know you are paying attention.

 

And I always know what cologne I am wearing and it always suits the occasion. Problem is most people wear way too much.

I agree, but it can also work the other way around...too much cheap body spray on an SP can slightly dampen the mood too

[nntsci 11076]

hey there, noob question...when booking an appointment, do you give out your real name or a "hobbying name"? The reason I ask is because of privacy concerns...I know the ladies use their own creative names and I can understand them wanting to keep their work and personal lives apart but I have many reasons to want the hobby and other parts of my life apart as well. I know most would promise confidentiality, but so did ashley-madison and we all know how well that played out...just wouldn't want my name left on a client list on a lost/stolen phone, hacked or even a misplaced paper list...

 

I'm aware of the recommendation of getting a burner phone but I guess im just a bit paranoid...a healthy dose of paranoia never hurt anyone...in fact it probably saved my ass a few times...

 

I personally don't use a fake name. I use my real name. The lady I've been seeing lately knows who I am and actually where I work. She won't expose me and I won't expose her for pretty much the same reason. She doesn't want anyone to know what she does for a living. You got to trust some people.

 

But the email I use isn't used for anything other then hobbying... (and that's also true for the gal I see, she only uses that email for clients). If you are really worried you can get a separate phone for hobbying... I don't, but some of the ladies I've seen have separate phones.

 

Another lady I saw had separate phones, but at some point got them mixed up and exposed her actual name to me on facebook messenger... oopppss... (it was actually her second telecommunication goof). I politely pointed out her telecommunication goof and she removed the phone from facebook messenger account (and blocked me). For your hobby phone be wary of google plus and facebook messenger; synchronization can be a bad idea.

 

Personally I don't bother with a separate hobby phone if for no other reason then having to explain the extra phone or extra bill (looks a little suspicious to have 2 phones and two phone bills)... maybe I enjoy living on the edge... But I use a PIN number on my phone so that no one can use it when I'm not around and it is actually even illegal for your wife to read your phone without your permission or a court order (boy if I say that to her that will go down well I'm sure)... but clear all hobby related text message and emails ASAP just in case. Purge the deleted message as well. And if you keep the gal in your contacts, don't use anything that sounds like a ladies name. One gal I have listed at CATM which sounds like a business. Fortunately, my wife has so far never questioned what I do... and I pay her the same respect (tonight she is out visiting a friend... or so she says, lol).

 

I had an Ashley-Madison account. Never used it for an actual date. I did received a couple of emails saying they knew who I was and would expose me to all my facebook friends if I didn't send them bit coins... I got a laugh out of it because the email was not associated with any Facebook account, or linked to anything else. I reported them as a phlishing scams... never heard back from them.

[Reddog01 30280]

When I first started this hobby I went to great lengths to use techniques I thought would be required to hide my identity. I used a "burner phone" and purchased sim cards under a false name and address. I created an email address I specifically used for communicating to agencies and independents. For a period of time, I even went as far as to only use "internet cafes" or terminals available in hotel lobbies or at the airport to communicate. If I had to use the phone it would be preferably from the hotel lobby or a local pay phone. If I was required to "phone-in" to confirm an in-call address or my arrival it was from the "burner" if I had no access to a none traceable land line.

After a while (a couple of years) I realized all this might be a bit of overkill and it just became very inconvenient. It was a pain to keeping my "burner" up to date and sometimes it was unreliable when on international trips. Using internet cafes are not practical any more and I have stopped using hotel business centres. Now I still use my "special" email address but don't include it in my personal phone email accounts list. I try to use my own phone for text and email only. I have alway used my real first name but never have I had to divulge my last name. However as trust grew and I realized this is really a "live and let live" industry, a couple of my favourite SPs know my last name, profession and some other personal details.

Like many SPs I have my own screening process based on my own comfort zone and I rely on my own instincts and gut feel when I see someone of the first time. It has worked so far with nary a disappointment or any "drama".

[nntsci 11076]

"Now I still use my "special" email address but don't include it in my personal phone email accounts list." yes... that's very true... Every time I read my special email on the phone the email service invites me to download the app for my phone to make it easy to access my email... say NO!!! Don't make it easy to access your special email... its more tedious but safer. Be wary of sites that save your password too. The safest bet is to always use incognito when you access your special email as well as LYLA and similar sites on your computer.

 

"this is really a "live and let live" industry, a couple of my favourite SPs know my last name, profession and some other personal details."

 

yes for sure... I agree... it is a live and let live industry... though it takes time to build trust... a couple ladies knows my name and profession.

 

Funny story... when I first started as a hobbyist, I used email and payphones... My wife decided we needed a cell phone plan and she suggested a joint phone plan (Rogers family plan or something like that), but then changed her mind and got her own phone leaving me without a phone... and with payphones getting hard to find... so she told me to get my own phone (implying I was lazy for expecting her to get me one)... I was annoyed and then realized that getting my own phone that she had no access to the bill or anything was a much better idea. Good thing I did... and it was her idea.

[FunElement12 974]

I use my real name (first and last) as well as my regular cell phone but I do have an email address I only use to communicate with the SP I see. In my case it's not to hid anything from my husband, he knows everything but I'd hate for my kids to grab my phone and see something.

 

I'm a pretty trusting person and I always see the same person, she is established and has a great reputation so for me to tell her my full name and talk about myself is really not a big deal. In the end we both make the choice of revealing what we want to or not to each other. I've also told her some things that I probably would not tell my best girlfriends for fear of being judged by them but yet I'm very comfortable telling her.

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

hey there, noob question...when booking an appointment, do you give out your real name or a "hobbying name"? The reason I ask is because of privacy concerns...I know the ladies use their own creative names and I can understand them wanting to keep their work and personal lives apart but I have many reasons to want the hobby and other parts of my life apart as well. I know most would promise confidentiality, but so did ashley-madison and we all know how well that played out...just wouldn't want my name left on a client list on a lost/stolen phone, hacked or even a misplaced paper list...

 

I'm aware of the recommendation of getting a burner phone but I guess im just a bit paranoid...a healthy dose of paranoia never hurt anyone...in fact it probably saved my ass a few times...

 

If you're seeing a reputable lady then there should be no problem using your real name. I have 2 phones. One for work and one personal. My work phone is locked so no one can get in. If they try I lose everything. We want to be safe too. People (men mostly) worry about their identity. What about us? If we don't ask for names and numbers we put ourselves at risk for many things including death. We only want the info to be safe. No other reason.

[Ice4fun 78407]

It's crucially important to do your homework and identify reputable ladies so that there is virtually no risk to giving your real name. As has been said by others here the wonderful ladies of LYLA want to protect themselves and protect you and your privacy.

 

I have been seeing ladies for a long long time and have never had a problem with confidentiality with a reputable lady. That said the challenge is of course being sure the lady is reputable and frankly someone has to roll the dice whenever a new lady enters the industry... reputation can only be built with experience so do your homework... has the lady done the things that will reassure you that she is approaching this from a professional perspective... website... registered on sites like this...safe professional locations etc.

 

The bottom line is there is absolutely no guarantees in this business if you want total safety then you better skip this lifestyle. Everyone has bad days... anyone can get their email or phones hacked (just as Hillary Clinton) everyone's opinion of what's reputable is different. Look after yourself if you are a client or a provider.

 

There has been lots of discussions about texting apps and frankly I think the ship has sailed on that... with burner cell phones and the fact that you can often not tell it is a texting app the requirement by some that they don't take bookings from apps is becoming somewhat symbolic as unfortunately it does not afford the ladies in this industry the same level of security it did in the past.

 

My approach is twofold when it comes to texting and calling... if I am texting someone I have not met before I use a texting app as it does two things for me... it provides me with a small element of security in case my initial contact is with someone I can't trust... I will text and start the contact through the app but am very willing to provide an actual number to the lady if requested to finalize the booking. The app also is great because it is password protected on my phone so it's not possible for someone to stumble across the records of my contacts either on purpose or by accident (did I mention I am married). The second thing I do is I maintain texting program on my cell phone that allows me to text from my main number but have both th outgoing and incoming texts remain hidden in the app and not in the phones text log. This allows me to share my real number in situations where it is safe but not worry about the text history or someone seeing the incoming texts. This system has served me very well in the lifestyle for a number of years but to be honest I have not been as active in the year and half.

 

Just my opinion

[nntsci 11076]

My approach is twofold when it comes to texting and calling... if I am texting someone I have not met before I use a texting app as it does two things for me... it provides me with a small element of security in case my initial contact is with someone I can't trust... I will text and start the contact through the app but am very willing to provide an actual number to the lady if requested to finalize the booking. The app also is great because it is password protected on my phone so it's not possible for someone to stumble across the records of my contacts either on purpose or by accident (did I mention I am married). The second thing I do is I maintain texting program on my cell phone that allows me to text from my main number but have both th outgoing and incoming texts remain hidden in the app and not in the phones text log. This allows me to share my real number in situations where it is safe but not worry about the text history or someone seeing the incoming texts. This system has served me very well in the lifestyle for a number of years but to be honest I have not been as active in the year and half.

 

Thanks. What's the app called

[Ice4fun 78407]

Thanks. What's the app called

 

The texting app is "text Plus" and text hiding app is "Secret SMS"

 

But there are lots of them.

[Charlotte Edwards 8590]

Thank you for the thoughtful posts here. This topic comes up time and again on every board. And it seems like this is the only one in which people can talk civilly about it without insulting escorts who ask for screening information and using scare tactics.

 

I will say though, I don't expect a client to use his real cell phone, a burner is ok. But I don't accept text apps because anyone can text and delete the app and get a new one in seconds and pretend to be someone new. The worst messages I've ever received come from text apps because they are overconfident about their anonymity and have nothing to lose being rude or abusive. So just be mindful that if you come across as too paranoid or sketchy the lady you want to see will then be worried what's wrong with you and why you are doing it. We just want to ensure you are real and not a fake booking and that you won't hurt us or harass us if we do book you.

 

Yes do your research and support reputable ladies. It's always a shame when really nice clients are terrified of us and act erratically when booking because they don't know what to do. If you're too paranoid like I say you will send off warning signals to us and then it's not comfortable for either of us.

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

Thank you for the thoughtful posts here. This topic comes up time and again on every board. And it seems like this is the only one in which people can talk civilly about it without insulting escorts who ask for screening information and using scare tactics.

 

I will say though, I don't expect a client to use his real cell phone, a burner is ok. But I don't accept text apps because anyone can text and delete the app and get a new one in seconds and pretend to be someone new. The worst messages I've ever received come from text apps because they are overconfident about their anonymity and have nothing to lose being rude or abusive. So just be mindful that if you come across as too paranoid or sketchy the lady you want to see will then be worried what's wrong with you and why you are doing it. We just want to ensure you are real and not a fake booking and that you won't hurt us or harass us if we do book you.

 

Yes do your research and support reputable ladies. It's always a shame when really nice clients are terrified of us and act erratically when booking because they don't know what to do. If you're too paranoid like I say you will send off warning signals to us and then it's not comfortable for either of us.

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Yes. I don't accept calls from text apps either..or google numbers or payphones. You have our number why can't we have yours?