"Bad" Domination Experience?

[0000 1845]

It was my understanding that a client sets their limits and interests, particularly when said client is paying for their time.

 

Recently I had an experience that I don't think I'd ever want to repeat, but I'm still emotionally conflicted/exhausted from it, and I don't want to post any bad reviews yet when I'm in this state of mind.

 

I guess the first red flag was the lack of good reviews for this providers domination experience, plenty of good gfe reviews though, so I felt fairly confident going in.

Right from the beginning I felt a lot of emotional distance between us, almost like she had better things to do than listening to my preferences and limits, and it just got worse from there.

 

Soon enough I had to stop the roleplay after she made some derisive comments about my "capabilities as a lover". I politely explained that this falls under the category of verbal humiliation and that I was only interested in verbal domination.

 

She seemed particularly annoyed that I had dared to stop the roleplay at all with a safe word, and then she had the gall to argue with me about the difference between verbal humiliation and domination. It doesn't matter if I'm wrong about the definitions, I clearly explained what I do and don't want, that should have been the end of it.

 

So we keep on going with this and I was finding that I was rather enjoying her tone of command, submitting to a woman is something I had never tried before and under the right circumstances could be a lot of fun (if I could actually trust her).

 

Eventually she starts describing her intent to perform an activity that I didn't agree to beforehand, so I politely stop the scene to explain myself. This is right about where she really takes off the mask. She told me I should just shut the "f" up and enjoy it rather than using a safe word.

 

If I was smart I would have walked away then and there, but I wasn't thinking straight. We moved onto a different activity, which is right about the time she verbally belittled me for asking for a pillow, and verbally belittled me for my weakness/softness and previous use of the safe word.

 

We stopped the role play soon after this. I really was hoping that she might open up at that point, like it was all an act, but she remained cold, wouldn't except my thoughts on how it went, and just continued to explain how I was wrong to think the way I do and how I "wouldn't last in a real dungeon with my "little" safe word".

 

So I feel like this was a clearly bad experience, but it also left me with a lot of conflicted emotions. There were times that I put a lot of trust in her and was very vulnerable to her physically and emotionally during the roleplay. I can only imagine this is what stockholm syndrome feels like, conflicted emotions of love and hate, I just wish I could forget the whole thing and move on.

 

I suppose she did at least except my safe word, and never crossed any physical boundaries, I don't know maybe I'm overreacting , I'm just really confused right now.

[capitalCforcougar 16766]

I am truly.sorry you had an experience.that has left you this distraught.

You are most certainly correct in that it is the submissive in the scenario that holds the *actual* power, and that is a position that deserves the utmost respect and attention at all times.

I have seen a few people in my time (both as a sub and as a domme), who consider themselves 'dominant...but their actions/attitude shows they don't understand the difference between being dominant and being an @sshole ;)

Unfortunately they run rampant :(

 

 

I had mentioned in a previous thread I believe, that I have a wonderful reputation in my cities kink community...and as much as I enjoy that, it mystified me that nobody else (or very few anyway) look at a D/s scenario the way I do. I've been asked.to speak at an engagement on my ideals...haha which again, I find funny...but I digress....

 

Whether or not a person is paying for an experience, and it is one where safe words...do's/don't things. ...dis/likes have been laid out...there is *absolutely* no excuse.for not abiding by those guidelines.....and whoever the individual is who did this to you, purrrhaps should.look up the definition of both dominant....and...regrettably, @sshole. ;)

 

Nobody should be made.to feel insecure/uncomfortable about anything they seek s3xually/sensually and I find it deplorable that despite *several* attempts at clarifying from you, they not only kept.your money but continued with this behavior!

 

I had put a bit of a writing piece up on a site I'm a member on and I think it gives an amazing 'explanation' of how *i* look at this sort of relationship:

 

A person buys a puppy, mostly because it's cute and the person wants something to play with; )

The *instant* they take that puppy home...they become 100% responsible for every...single...thing that puppy needs...fresh water, food, clean dishes, toys, blankies, chew toys. ...*all of which are immediate needs....with noooo expectation of anything in return..

The personal also needs to learn how the puppy likes to be touched, stroked, scratched....*where* it likes/doesn't. ...what time it sleeps...when it likes to play...as well as a whole host of other things. ..

 

And these things. ..every one of them....are done *well before* the 'master' can make any demands/expectations on the puppy.

But....because the 'master' has gone to such extents...to learn about their pup...to make it soooo happy that...in turn, it *wants* to be the best puppy for its master...and responds well to the 'masters' needs/training ;)

 

....and it is never the dog that picks up...or puts up...with the 'masters' shit ;)

 

I truly hope you find a proper person to show you the bliss that is to be found at either end.of this sort.of thing :)

[0000 1845]

Yes, that's what I thought. I think at the very least I will make it clear to this person that I did not enjoy the experience. Perhaps it will be a wakeup call for them.

Not even going to try posting a review on Lyla, I know what happens to negative reviews here.

 

Some aspects were really enjoyable, I didn't expect to be doing a verbal roleplay at all, but it gave me an incredible rush to be referred to as "slave" during our initial contact, so I figured it was worth a shot. Little did I know what her idea of a slave is.

 

Maybe I will try again in the future, I know of a very popular provider in my area that offers domination, I've just been too cheap to go see her, and too lazy to go through her verification process :p

 

Evidently cheaper and easier isn't always better, and it would be better to get to know the provider in a regular session before trying domination. I now know that I really need to put a lot of trust in someone before I am able to submit to them and enjoy the experience.

 

Additional Comments:

Almost forgot something really important. It goes back to our discussion in the ask an escort thread about the stereotypical roles for doms and subs.

This girl was completely rigid, entirely set on the stereotypical angry dom performance.

She absolutely hated when I expressed any enjoyment of the roleplay as well.

 

I tried to explain to her that she can be controlling without playing the part of an emotionally void sociopath, but she just wasn't getting it, she couldn't understand how emotions don't make up the entirety of the domination roleplay. I think she really just wanted to see that fear in me all the time, and couldn't stand the thought that I might actually get some enjoyment from her control.

[fortunateone 156618]

I think someone who knows what they are doing would actually set up a question/answers form, along with an actual not a verbal contract to sign. And yes it does cost more. I think there are some providers who try to get on the role play/BDSM bandwagon, for an extra charge, who have no business doing that. just like there are some clients who try to get a non -dom/roleplayer to provide these sessions, when the provider isn't interested.

[0000 1845]

Interesting, I have heard of bdsm contracts, I didn't realize they were in widespread use though.

 

In this particular case the domination is the same rate as regular service.

They do have a list of domination services offered, and they do ask for specifics of the encounter beforehand.

 

I have engaged in certain domination services with escorts in the past, never roleplay though. Some providers don't go into specifics of what they offer so I have found there is no harm in asking them if they might be into something, I never expect anything of them though.

 

Additional Comments:

Also, seeing as I enjoy mixing domination services with "traditional" escort services, a pro dom wouldn't make much sense for me personally.

[capitalCforcougar 16766]

Most of us who offer this type of activity, are quote fine with a 'mix'.. perrrsonally I think that works best in most scenes.. save for those with a definite taste for it, as well as preferrrrence ;)

As for the 'contract' thing... I don't think something that 'serious' needs to be implemented between a client and their Dom/Domme.. but certainly going into great detail about expectations/limits et al.. is. Whether via email, or a formal form to fill out.. benefits anyone involved for sure.I have had several people simply say they are into 'anything'.. hehe and have to admit, I took a bit of perrrrsonal pleasure in asking them to clarify then for me.. about some very specific types of 'taboo'/bdsm things.. to which they looked at me like I was nuts and almost screamed NO hahaha so.. guess they have limits after all <grin>

 

Contracts between submissives and dominants have been around in all sorts of forms for centuries.. even today.. formal contracts are done up, outlining the expectations of (usually) both parties (or more if poly).. the date the contract was initiated, even the date (if applicable) that it expires. I have a few friends who proudly display theirs framed on living room walls :)

 

You might be pleasantly surprised at all the wonderful and strange things out there ;)

[0000 1845]

Think I have found a new dom who seems to be a lot more emotionally connected. I made the decision to spend a half hour session with her just cuddling up together and discussing my ideal domination scenario.

 

I feel like it is going to work out a lot better this time, I haven't trusted a woman this much in quite some time.

Won't have an update for at least a few days, I need to order myself a nice collar and leash before the fun can begin :D

[capitalCforcougar 16766]

lovely!! happy for you.. although I have always been of the school of thought that a *collar* is something 'earned'... took me ages to earn mine.. but I have a lovely titanium one...*sigh*.... but, I also know especially in theses circumstances.. a collar & leash are not only fun, but sometimes needed things.. helps one get into a proper 'headspace' ;)

 

again, so happy it seems at least to begin with.. that you have someone who is wise enough to understand it is *you* who runs the proverbial show :)

 

Enjoy the journey!

[fortunateone 156618]

Somehow cuddling and chatting doesn't really add up if she is actually a domme.

 

perhaps another interested amatuer, so i wouldn't get my hopes up if i were you. It sounds like another case of potential disappointment, especially if you still plan to be a submissive who is giving orders and directions? lol

 

contracts i believe are due to the client saying yes to things and then signing it so that later on, when there are marks, bruises and potential bleeding, he can't go back and say he didn't agree to those things that were done. i can't imagine agreeing to tie up and basically torture someone without getting the agreement in writing first?

[capitalCforcougar 16766]

As to the 'not a real domme if there's cuddling et al' comment....I dote on my submissives. ....very much enjoy doing so....as they enjoy being.doted upon....and have no intention of ever denying.either myself or.them that part.of things. I've always done that....and find it rather insulting....both as a pro-domme...and one who is very much immersed in that lifestyle and.culture, to have it inferred that I'm not (or those who may be like me)...a *real* domme.

 

Ask the man who's jaw I grip in my hand, whispering soft comforting thins to as I drive my knee.into his testicles hard enough in one shot to knock him to the.floor....if I am not real....

Or purrrrhaps the lovely little man who adores when I coo harsh words, call him names....while stuffing his @ass to the point of having him in tears....softly stroking.his hair the whole.time....if I am not *real*..... or...hehe the wonderful man who lives in new York, who sees me.when hes here...and who's every move I still control....while.referring.to him as 'My Beloved'....if I am not *real* (I could.go further hehe but....)

 

As many different people there are out there...there are as many different dommes/subs....and dynamics.....yours or your 'idea' of how they 'should' go...is likely.just as different. Does not mean they don't exist..or aren't *real*.... yikes.... no one person should (or can) say someone is wrong to be happy or.enjoy what they are obviously excited about.

 

As to the 'contract'....it is *not* the same.as.getting.something in writing outlining soft/hard limits....comfort. zones, expectations (from either party...not just one)....this would be what is more.known as written consent.....a *contract*...mostly.in the traditional sense....means you are *owned*....not what you have agreed.to and/or have previously.discussed insofar as how a scene is going to play out.... most experienced domme/doms would know that ;)

 

I he is pleased.and feels.comfortable with who he has found.....then again I have to say *yay*....and enjoy all that the experience can/should bring you *both*..no matter what the dynamic ends up being. Nay-Sayers be damned ;)

 

(Brief Internet access tonight so...hehe)

 

<....stalks softly into dark warm trees....under millions.of stars..... gone..... for now...>

[Parker 19761]

It was my understanding that a client sets their limits and interests, particularly when said client is paying for their time.

 

Recently I had an experience that I don't think I'd ever want to repeat, but I'm still emotionally conflicted/exhausted from it, and I don't want to post any bad reviews yet when I'm in this state of mind.

 

I guess the first red flag was the lack of good reviews for this providers domination experience, plenty of good gfe reviews though, so I felt fairly confident going in.

Right from the beginning I felt a lot of emotional distance between us, almost like she had better things to do than listening to my preferences and limits, and it just got worse from there.

 

Soon enough I had to stop the roleplay after she made some derisive comments about my "capabilities as a lover". I politely explained that this falls under the category of verbal humiliation and that I was only interested in verbal domination.

 

She seemed particularly annoyed that I had dared to stop the roleplay at all with a safe word, and then she had the gall to argue with me about the difference between verbal humiliation and domination. It doesn't matter if I'm wrong about the definitions, I clearly explained what I do and don't want, that should have been the end of it.

 

So we keep on going with this and I was finding that I was rather enjoying her tone of command, submitting to a woman is something I had never tried before and under the right circumstances could be a lot of fun (if I could actually trust her).

 

Eventually she starts describing her intent to perform an activity that I didn't agree to beforehand, so I politely stop the scene to explain myself. This is right about where she really takes off the mask. She told me I should just shut the "f" up and enjoy it rather than using a safe word.

 

If I was smart I would have walked away then and there, but I wasn't thinking straight. We moved onto a different activity, which is right about the time she verbally belittled me for asking for a pillow, and verbally belittled me for my weakness/softness and previous use of the safe word.

 

We stopped the role play soon after this. I really was hoping that she might open up at that point, like it was all an act, but she remained cold, wouldn't except my thoughts on how it went, and just continued to explain how I was wrong to think the way I do and how I "wouldn't last in a real dungeon with my "little" safe word".

 

So I feel like this was a clearly bad experience, but it also left me with a lot of conflicted emotions. There were times that I put a lot of trust in her and was very vulnerable to her physically and emotionally during the roleplay. I can only imagine this is what stockholm syndrome feels like, conflicted emotions of love and hate, I just wish I could forget the whole thing and move on.

 

I suppose she did at least except my safe word, and never crossed any physical boundaries, I don't know maybe I'm overreacting , I'm just really confused right now.

 

What sort of 'verbal domination' were you looking for?

And did you say as much?

 

I've never heard such a term before.. usually when someone wants verbal domination- they want exactly what you got.

[0000 1845]

Somehow cuddling and chatting doesn't really add up if she is actually a domme.

 

perhaps another interested amatuer, so i wouldn't get my hopes up if i were you. It sounds like another case of potential disappointment, especially if you still plan to be a submissive who is giving orders and directions? lol

 

contracts i believe are due to the client saying yes to things and then signing it so that later on, when there are marks, bruises and potential bleeding, he can't go back and say he didn't agree to those things that were done. i can't imagine agreeing to tie up and basically torture someone without getting the agreement in writing first?

 

I'm not sure what you mean? The girl I am seeing now is the polar opposite of the woman that I didn't get along with last time, which can only be a good thing as far as I'm concerned.

 

The cuddling and chatting is in preparation for a roleplay, building trust and establishing limits. Are you trying to say that someone can't be kind/caring outside of a roleplay, and dominant when the roleplay begins?

 

That sounds somewhat unhealthy to me, but then again there are people who are supposedly "happy" in 24/7 sub relationships, who am I to say whether or not they are just in a state of Stockholm syndrome.

 

I don't think I'll be doing anything extreme enough to require a contract at this time, but I'll keep it in mind.

 

Additional Comments:

What sort of 'verbal domination' were you looking for?

And did you say as much?

 

I've never heard such a term before.. usually when someone wants verbal domination- they want exactly what you got.

 

Verbal domination:

Providing commands/direction vocally.

 

Verbal humiliation:

Vocalized belittling remarks/comments.

Poking fun, calling names, etc.

 

Perhaps I didn't make the difference clear to her in the beginning, but I only had 5 minutes to do so and she maintained her exasperated tone during this time. I'm not particularly convinced that she was paying much attention to what I was saying before we started the roleplay, as she also missed several fun activities that I requested.

 

That doesn't really matter though, to anyone who may wish to argue with me on this topic, I'll make it perfectly clear in a way that leaves no room for argument:

 

I paid her for my desired experience. I politely stopped the scene only when it was necessary to explain to her (in a perfectly reasonable tone) that I did not desire a specific activity she was currently engaging in.

 

That should be the end of it, no room for discussion, no room for argument on her part. I know what I want from the roleplay, and I will not be told that I am being unreasonable, or that I should just "shut up and take it". My money, my rules, no exceptions (though I do of course respect the limits/boundaries of others).

 

/thread :)

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

Have you heard of the term "topping from the bottom"?

 

These sort of things need to be clearly communicated and negotiated before a session, otherwise, I can understand how this didn't go how you expected, and I can also understand how she would also have felt exasperated, if what you were doing seemed like you were trying to control the scene.

[0000 1845]

As to the 'not a real domme if there's cuddling et al' comment....I dote on my submissives. ....very much enjoy doing so....as they enjoy being.doted upon....and have no intention of ever denying.either myself or.them that part.of things. I've always done that....and find it rather insulting....both as a pro-domme...and one who is very much immersed in that lifestyle and.culture, to have it inferred that I'm not (or those who may be like me)...a *real* domme.

 

Ask the man who's jaw I grip in my hand, whispering soft comforting thins to as I drive my knee.into his testicles hard enough in one shot to knock him to the.floor....if I am not real....

Or purrrrhaps the lovely little man who adores when I coo harsh words, call him names....while stuffing his @ass to the point of having him in tears....softly stroking.his hair the whole.time....if I am not *real*..... or...hehe the wonderful man who lives in new York, who sees me.when hes here...and who's every move I still control....while.referring.to him as 'My Beloved'....if I am not *real* (I could.go further hehe but....)

 

As many different people there are out there...there are as many different dommes/subs....and dynamics.....yours or your 'idea' of how they 'should' go...is likely.just as different. Does not mean they don't exist..or aren't *real*.... yikes.... no one person should (or can) say someone is wrong to be happy or.enjoy what they are obviously excited about.

 

As to the 'contract'....it is *not* the same.as.getting.something in writing outlining soft/hard limits....comfort. zones, expectations (from either party...not just one)....this would be what is more.known as written consent.....a *contract*...mostly.in the traditional sense....means you are *owned*....not what you have agreed.to and/or have previously.discussed insofar as how a scene is going to play out.... most experienced domme/doms would know that ;)

 

I he is pleased.and feels.comfortable with who he has found.....then again I have to say *yay*....and enjoy all that the experience can/should bring you *both*..no matter what the dynamic ends up being. Nay-Sayers be damned ;)

 

(Brief Internet access tonight so...hehe)

 

<....stalks softly into dark warm trees....under millions.of stars..... gone..... for now...>

 

My goodness that is some beautiful imagery, why does Winnipeg have to be so very far away from Nova Scotia :icon_sad:

 

Very good points as well, how incredibly insulting for someone to assume that emotional disconnect is what makes a "real" "professional" dominatrix, particularly since "professional" only indicates they require monetary compensation for their time.

 

Last I checked, I am very much expected to pay for the experience :D

 

Additional Comments:

Have you heard of the term "topping from the bottom"?

 

These sort of things need to be clearly communicated and negotiated before a session, otherwise, I can understand how this didn't go how you expected, and I can also understand how she would also have felt exasperated, if what you were doing seemed like you were trying to control the scene.

 

Either you agree that use of a safeword is nothing to be ashamed of when the sub believes boundaries have been crossed, or you do not agree with this. If you do not agree with this then you are free to find someone else to dominate.

Never mind the fine details, or how often I may have used the safe word, that wasn't my point in this discussion and that should be evident if you read my words.

 

I certainly communicated my desires and boundaries before the roleplay. It is ridiculous to expect the sub to foresee all of the possible activities the dom might choose to engage in, and to address them all clearly before the roleplay. I am not a mind reader, that's precisely why safe words exist.

Address the argument, don't try and twist the words and veer off into some other discussion, it is very much a black and white topic.

 

Perhaps if she had bothered to listen to what I had to say in open communication before the roleplay, then we wouldn't have had a problem.

I didn't halt the scene momentarily to demand that she do this, or do that. I very much submitted to her control throughout right up until she crossed the line (and even after the second time she crossed the line)

 

Someone who wishes complete control at all times and is not open to non coercive communication before or even during a roleplay is not a dominatrix, they would better fit the definition of a sociopath.

Discussing details of this encounter was probably a mistake on my part, so I will no longer do so.

It is obvious that personal biases are playing a role in some of the responses I am getting here.

[Daisy Mae 2693]

I think there's a pretty discernible difference between verbal 'domination' and verbal 'humiliation', being domination is easily terms of possessiveness, right? Eluding to the idea that you belong to her. Joking about your capabilities as a lover has nothing to do with her domination of you. Even if that had been a misunderstanding, she shouldn't have argued it with you after, instead she should have understood the position & power imbalance she had put you in and apologized... and absolutely never repeated that action.

 

Her apparently repeated efforts to ignore you consent and safe words is highly concerning, and dangerous for practitioners of BDSM. The first time someone openly disregards your consent is when you should immediately drop the session and see if you can obtain a refund (so you hopefully don't have to just cut your losses).

 

I'm so sorry you went through that, those experiences can be traumatic and can turn even worse so, so easily.

[0000 1845]

I think there's a pretty discernible difference between verbal 'domination' and verbal 'humiliation', being domination is easily terms of possessiveness, right? Eluding to the idea that you belong to her. Joking about your capabilities as a lover has nothing to do with her domination of you. Even if that had been a misunderstanding, she shouldn't have argued it with you after, instead she should have understood the position & power imbalance she had put you in and apologized... and absolutely never repeated that action.

 

Her apparently repeated efforts to ignore you consent and safe words is highly concerning, and dangerous for practitioners of BDSM. The first time someone openly disregards your consent is when you should immediately drop the session and see if you can obtain a refund (so you hopefully don't have to just cut your losses).

 

I'm so sorry you went through that, those experiences can be traumatic and can turn even worse so, so easily.

 

I completely agree, it certainly gave me some psychological issues to work through, as I did enjoy the activities and feel conflicted that I enjoyed domination from someone I couldn't put my trust in.

 

I wasn't about to try and negotiate a refund though, the law may not be entirely on my side if she were to get them involved, and I wasn't feeling in the mood to be standing up to a woman who is actually more physically imposing than I am :p

 

I'm not going to pretend i'm not partly responsible for this. I should have talked more to her on the phone, maybe I would have caught onto her tone and reconsidered before I even went to see her.

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

Either you agree that use of a safeword is nothing to be ashamed of when the sub believes boundaries have been crossed, or you do not agree with this. If you do not agree with this then you are free to find someone else to dominate.

Never mind the fine details, or how often I may have used the safe word, that wasn't my point in this discussion and that should be evident if you read my words.

 

I certainly communicated my desires and boundaries before the roleplay. It is ridiculous to expect the sub to foresee all of the possible activities the dom might choose to engage in, and to address them all clearly before the roleplay. I am not a mind reader, that's precisely why safe words exist.

Address the argument, don't try and twist the words and veer off into some other discussion, it is very much a black and white topic.

 

Perhaps if she had bothered to listen to what I had to say in open communication before the roleplay, then we wouldn't have had a problem.

I didn't halt the scene momentarily to demand that she do this, or do that. I very much submitted to her control throughout right up until she crossed the line.

 

Someone who wishes complete control at all times and is not open to non coercive communication before a roleplay is not a dominatrix, they would better fit the definition of a sociopath.

Discussing details of this encounter was probably a mistake on my part, so I will no longer do so.

It is obvious that personal biases are playing a role in some of the responses I am getting here.

 

...Like your own personal biases? If you didn't want a discussion, then you shouldn't have asked for one. But you did, in posting on an online forum, where people may disagree with you, and may have opinions that contradict your own. You yourself admit to being young and not very experienced, yet you are not open at all to hearing more than one biased voice -- your own.

 

[0000 1845]

...Like your own personal biases? If you didn't want a discussion, then you shouldn't have asked for one. But you did, in posting on an online forum, where people may disagree with you, and may have opinions that contradict your own. You yourself admit to being young and not very experienced, yet you are not open at all to hearing more than one biased voice -- your own.

 

 

Not at all Kathryn. I am happy to hear dissenting opinions, but you need to at least address what I have written and explain your reasoning.

 

It appears that you didn't take the time to read what I have written before making assumptions about my experience with this woman. You are quick to jump to her defense, and assume that I just didn't communicate well enough or that I just didn't enjoy myself and wasn't willing to submit to her.

 

Those assumptions aren't in line with my experience, nor the discussion I have started here. I didn't just have a bad experience, I had issues with establishing the line between consensual and non consensual domination. I didn't have my boundaries disrespected because I was unwilling to communicate with this woman beforehand, the line of communication simply wasn't offered to me beforehand (which is admittedly when I should have walked away).

 

Even then I do encourage experimentation in encounters of this type. I don't take issue with her working in fun activities that I hadn't considered, but if she is going to do so then she shouldn't be surprised when the immersion in the role play is occasionally broken, to establish boundaries.

 

You are correct in that it is wrong of me to think I can just stop the discussion now, and I do welcome your input, but you first need to understand my point of view by carefully reading what I have written, before you can provide a convincing argument for your own point of view.

 

My main point of argument here is that a safe word should always be an option and should always be respected. If a particular provider doesn't like having the immersion broken by use of a safe word, even when she is trying things that I haven't agreed to, then I'll just politely move on to someone else. Perhaps others will get along just fine with this woman if they do not feel the need to enforce their limits in the way I chose to.

 

I'm aware there are some who give up access to safe words and limits entirely, even choosing to enter into 24/7 dom/sub relationships. Personally I think they are insane, but to each their own right?

[Daisy Mae 2693]

I didn't skim much other replies past your direct reply to me 0000, so that in mind as I respond:

 

Granted, regardless of her 'tone' and all, I really honestly wouldn't say you have any fault here. Submission is a heavily altered mindset and a complete power imbalance, it's possible she was entirely aware of her manipulation of you which isn't safe.

 

In essence, there's nothing else you could have done, except LEAVE- but that doesn't put you at fault. The safe word was your way out. That deserved to be respected and it wasn't. She ignored your requests and did as she pleased in a power-imbalance BDSM play, and put you at risk. Etc etc. i.e; in personal experience, hearing a safe word just means IMMEDIATE stop of whatever was going on and checking in on my/the sub, right? To reduce any possible harm.

 

Again, sorry that happened. I hope you have good luck in your next session and don't have to go through that type of trauma again :(