The bi-curious

[Guest S****r]

Do you think most who present as heterosexual are also bi-curious? Not just curious in the intellectual sense, but also in the physical sense. I just wonder if you think most heterosexuals harbour a secret desire to experience a same sex encounter at least once.

 

I know I held that desire as a secret all my adult life, until I became an escort. I wondered about feeling the curves of a woman's body,to slowly caress her soft, warm skin, to experience kissing soft lips, and tasting a woman's warm, smooth skin --- and to see how it would affect me.

 

What about you? Do you hold that secret desire, too? If you prefer to answer that privately, feel free to PM me.

 

I love Lyla. There are not too man places where you can have an honest discussion of this topic.

 

:-)

[capitalCforcougar 16766]

I agree.. this is generally, a pretty decent place to let one's hair down.. so to speak ;)

 

Myself, I consider myself bi... (dated a woman for just over a year actually), and enjoy the difference a woman offers...

I find lately though (last few years) it really depends on the woman... I used to have a 'type' .. and still preferrrr a more 'alternative' looking girl (rockabilly chicks always get me grrrrowling hehe) but now it just seems more a set of circumstances, a person's vibe.. their personality...

 

I have a woman who I have topped for a few times.. I enjoy the scenes we get into (she's much more heavily BDSM oriented than anything else hehe) and she absolutely adores me.. is a wonderful friend.. but I am not in any way shape or form, even remotely attracted to her that way..... and yet I am very good friends with a completely gay man.. who, is likely the single most gorgeous human being I have ever laid my bright blue eyes on.... and we both flirt with each other.. have spent the night together (I got to be the little spoon hehe) but that's as far as it goes... *sigh*

(I have an amazingly eclectic bunch of people in my crazy life hehe)

I also have an incredibly beautiful man who is a stunning cross-dresser.. who I have known for a few years.. hang out together, go to bars et al... and had no idea he *wasn't* gay.. until .. well.... <grin>

 

I think most people, whether straight.. admittedly bi.. or bi-curious.. harbor some thought as to what it would be like...... seems only natural to me :)

 

With myself.. and most of the people I know.. they are either poly (in long-term, fully poly relationships.. one just celebrated 13 years of marriage!) gay.. gay but straight curious (if that makes sense)... or whatever they are.. it's all good to me.. people are people.. are people.. and if I find myself attracted to them.. it mostly doesn't make a difference what is between their legs.. I'm usually more into what's between their ears ;)

 

only thing I have no tolerance for is @ssholes ... (in the 'bad' way hehe)

 

I do most definitely have a preference for men though.... <grin>

[FunElement12 974]

Interesting topic. :) Up until my 40s I didn't think of myself a bi or bi curious. I went to an all girls high school and can't recall being attracted or curious about other girls, not even in the gym locker! I do remember having many dreams about having sex with women during both my pregnancies but I chalked that up to crazy pregnancy hormones.

 

In my 40s the thought of being with a woman started to pop up in my head much more. At first it was here and there but that increased with time. It was also kind of fun because I would tell my husband some "stories" about being with a woman... He really liked story time!

 

As the thoughts became more frequent I also became more miserable. I kept thinking that I was missing out on something important. Now that I see an escort on a regular basis I'm far happier in my head and I figured things out for myself. I really have no desire to be in love with a woman but I am clearly very attracted to a woman's body. My biggest problem now is that I'm so much happier knowing who I am but I can't really talk about it because I'm not sure most of my friends would accept that I see an escort.

[Toper 635]

I think a lot of people who identify as heterosexual have some level of bi-curiosity. We're raised as children to fear anything not hetero but fetishize lesbianism. As men we watch pornography and imagine ourselves as the male porn star up to the point of timing our orgasm with the his. Once you realize that you can separate love from the sexual act, you expand the confines of how you achieve that pleasure.

 

Personally I'll seek pleasure and companionship when, where and with whomever I find a connection with. Some of my happiest days have been spent in threesomes and foursomes of consenting and liked minded individuals.

 

Toper

 

Additional Comments:

...I've always wondered about how many people who identify as gay or lesbian are secretly bi? Gay friends who are my age (40s) would consider this question as potentially offensive. But the younger people who I've met really don't see themselves as being rigidly gay but much more fluid.

[Guest S****r]

But the younger people who I've met really don't see themselves as being rigidly gay but much more fluid.

 

 

That is soooo true! I think most young people today hook up with either sex, as the opportunities arise.

[kmwq 5477]

You may be right on this one, I've always been with women and never had thoughts of being with a man. However, when the opportunity of being with MF couple presented itself, I didn't hesitate to experience that. I stated up front that I was not interested in having the male and I engage at all. Once the action started, I was okay with him touching me, then I was okay with him using his mouth on me while she and I engaged, then she joined him down there with her mouth, when he started going to town down south all bets were off and I was okay with him entering me while she continue to use her mouth on me. As I replay that encounter back, my regret is that I didn't take the last step of reciprocating with giving him some attention.

[dread pirate roberts 4036]

I suspect the answer to "are most people who present as straight actually bi" is probably no, but I say that based on conversations I've had with escorts. I AM bi-curious - in fact, I probably can't really claim merely to be "curious", since I've had experiences with a couple of handsful of men (alone or in threesomes) or males transitioning to female. In those experiences I have given and received in pretty much every way possible, have enjoyed it immensely, and would do any of it again. I don't feel romantically bi, in that I don't feel drawn to have a relationship with a man, but I definitely enjoy al the physical activities.

 

BUT - I've had many discussions about exactly those facts with escorts, while visiting them, since the majority of my partners and experiences have been with women. And those escorts always seem to suggest that my proclivities are relatively uncommon.

 

We certainly are moving to a society which doesn't see sexual desire in such a binary fashion any more. There's also, probably, less stigma to being gay these days, and you would think that Lyla in particular is an accepting place. But even so we see very few recommendations for the various transitioning providers who come to town (I have posted some), and I can't recall seeing any for male providers. Is that a fear of outing oneself on Lyla, I wonder? Or does it reflect that relatively few of the male members here have an interest in those experiences?

[Guest st*****ens**ors]

An interesting thread.

 

I'm not even a little bi-curious, though I firmly believe that the sex act is mostly friction and pressure and one could probably become accustomed to a range of activities.

 

It's simply a matter of lack of interest. I find women absolutely, intrinsically fascinating. I have male friends, and can enjoy some time with the guys, but from the age of five or so have always preferred the company of, and had more meaningful relationships with the opposite sex.

 

It may or may not also be relevant that I am fairly vanilla in my tastes. I'm willing to explore, but don't have any compulsive fetishes.

 

Not sure if that adds anything useful.

[piano8950 32577]

Not in the slightest bi. I kinda wish I was, more people to be attracted to!