Thirty years out

[Kilt Boy 29353]

It occurs to me that the day before Christmas this year will mark 30 years since I was on stage.

 

A lot of bacon cheeseburgers have passed since then, and I'm not the same man I was. I've changed in just about every way that it is possible to change. Some for better, some worse.

 

Those 4 years I spent working as a dancer, a masseur, and as a live performer were some of the most chaotic and memorable of my life. It wasn't necessary that I go into that life, but it worked for me at the time. I made good money, but the 80's were a different time in the industry. It was like the Wild West, but out East. And polite. Like a velvet glove in a mailed fist. When everything is going right, life is grand. When it isn't, get out of town quickly.

 

That time allowed me to do a lot of thinking regarding what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I knew it was just a stepping stone to something else. Kind of like working at McDonald's. Some people can make it into a career, but most people just want to make some money.

 

I just wanted to say that I'm not one bit sorry about the things that I've done to get where I am now. I never screwed anyone over who didn't fully deserve it. I was as honest as most situations would allow. In my mind, I've done mostly good and very little harm. Things have turned out pretty well for me since then, and I'm really enjoying remembering a lot of that time.

 

Remember, you can't paint everything with the same brush. What works for one person may not for another, or even ANY other. Be who you are and judge only yourself. This is the path that I've set myself and I seem to be quite happy.

 

I'll never dance for anyone again. Nobody wants that.

I've asked. ;)

My days as a live-performance artist are long gone.

See above.

I still keep my hand in doing massage. Mostly for friends. Never for any gain to me.

I'm just getting on with my life the best way I know how: being happy

[Kilt Boy 29353]

It's interesting how supportive all of the dancers I've met are. Almost all say that they'd love to see me dance sometime, not realizing what an absolute horror show that would be. It would take an awful lot of work to undo the last 30 years and rollback far enough that I'd feel comfortable with stomping the boards again.

 

I decided last week to finally retire my lucky nickel. I got it the first day I danced, and have kept it in my wallet ever since. It wasn't from my first paid dance, but when an older lady wanted to pay me with a handful of change, I wanted a reminder. I picked a fairly new coin with the right year on it.

 

It has been a constant reminder of my past every single time I've rooted through my change to pay for something. I put it away on December 24th and I can't believe how my stress has decreased. Just keeping it in mind not to spend that nickel has obviously been a heavy weight that I have finally shed.

 

Whew!

 

 

Ah, the majestic Canadian beaver. So inspiring.