Request too explicit?!

[don1 120]

Recently i sent an email request to an SP ad on E.C. Her ad clearly stated "let me know your fantasies"....I'm not going to mention the name of the SP, but I replied as follows;

 

Dear .....,

Love your pics and your description of your services!! I'm a 40+ married man, 2 kids, squeaky clean, discretion a must for me! I'm very sensual and I enjoy using my oral and manual skills as well as any number of positions (miss., doggie are my favs) for the ultimate satisfaction of my partner. I can only truly enjoy myself if my partner is having lots of fun!! I get at least at much satisfaction from giving as getting!!! Also, the chemistry between us is so important for a good connection and satisfying encounter! If we feel comfortable with each other, I would enjoy an ongoing, long-term mutually satisfying intimate relationship with you as I find your physical and personality attributes to be very much what I would consider a perfect fit for me!!!

 

I am often free in the early afternoons on weekdays. There are also times when I could be free in the later evenings.

 

Some things that really float my boat!!:

 

- a warm, inviting personality, cute face, sweet smile, good sense of humor (you appear to have all of those, my dear, especially

after having read many wonderful things about you on review boards!)

- DATY (oral and manual plus whatever toys you like ....mmmmm...). Face-sitting a must!!

- your gorgeous, beautifully-shaped breasts which I would love to gently massage and suck on...

- a cute bubble butt (I'm imaginning doggie style and a nice, arched back to present your booty so elegantly....yummy!!..)

- miss., doggie plus whatever your fav. position is...

- bbbj

- sensuality, light touching/fondling/flicking of you with fingers, tongue, lips......

- multiple orgasms from you!!

- I'm usually a one-timer ssog, but I like to make it last and then finally explode!

 

I apologize for the "shopping list" above. Spontaneity is always the basis for a truly memorable experience. I just hought I should be up front at the start and let you know where I'm cumming from

 

Please let me know if I can proceed to arranging a time with you within the next couple of weeks.

 

Hugs 'n gentle kisses until then,

Don

xoxoxo

 

end of email.

 

I didn't hear back for a while. After 3 or 4 requests for a simple reply, she told me that my original request email was "far too explicit!!"

 

I'm not going to judge the SP that she "should" respond and feel ok about my request and the way I described my fantasies. I jut want to know if I'm way off base to have expressed my fantasies in the way I did (as per HER request on her ad). She also said that she no longer does Incall in Ottawa which is contradictory to what her ad says. I would never have bothered her if I had known that in the 1st place. More importantly, is there a certain etiquette for email enquiries or is it strictly a personal choice? I have sent similar emails in the past, never with any negative feedback. Thoughts, anyone?

[Guest JoyInOttawa]

Those types of things should be requested in person, not in a first email. I wouldn't reply either.

 

Another thing you guys should learn is the meaning of GFE...a GFE does NOT include facials

[don1 120]

Joy, I never asked for a facial! Why would you say that? And I also mentioned very clearly that I apologized for the "shopping list". What is the specific reason that an SP would be turned off by my email? Isn't it better to know certain preferences right up front from the start and avoid any disappointments after money has been paid?

[Guest JoyInOttawa]

Joy, I never asked for a facial! Why would you say that? And I also mentioned very clearly that I apologized for the "shopping list". What is the specific reason that an SP would be turned off by my email? Isn't it better to know certain preferences right up front from the start and avoid any disappointments after money has been paid?

 

 

I responded with the facial as a request that I get that just drives me nuts. You have to remember Don that with alot of the girls you are paying for our time and anything that happens during that time is between 2 consulting adults.

 

You have to understand our points, we get 50% of our emails from guys who have no intention of seeing us and are trying to get off through the email or in phone calls. Therefore direct requests for certain things can come off as what I call "Not so serious emails"

 

The best way to do it is send a first email to introduce yourself before getting to the eggs and bacon

 

"Hi my name is Don and I'm looking to get together with someone I am (so and so) years old and live in (wherever). I liked the way you present yourself and would be interested in discussing particulars for a meeting if it doesn't offend you"

 

Don

 

That email would get my attention right off the bat as someone that is serious and I'd want to hear what that person has to say. If the lady does not offer something on your menu, thank her for her time in responding to emails..do NOT insult her or demean her. I get this soooo often

 

"what do you mean you don't do greek, all the girls do greek..whats wrong with you!"

 

It's all about respect Don, the first email you sounded like you were getting upgrades for your computer rather than pursuing a potential encounter with a lady. As hard as this is for some guys to understand we are ladies and do appreciate being treated as such

[br512 100]

Well written, polite very descriptive, you position yourself well and respectfully. Possibly a bit long! :o) I share your views, idea of at least some connection but possibly not looking for the exact "perfect" person you are..LOL...but it is close!!.

 

The point I would like to make or ask to Joy is. If you wait until the door then in my 'short' but VERY expensive experience, without connection and especially without pics (which most SP?s have now) but for those who don? advertise are good to use especially even if sent after a connection is made. You set yourself up and I am sure it goes both ways, I understand, but I have set myself up for switch and bait (no companies or in dependants on this site I will say)..And you set yourself up for disappointment if at least some criteria are made or service identified beforehand. A connection for sure has to me one of my biggest ones and some "basic" expectations if advertised as a GFE and we know that is defined various yes and yes minus facials..Nice try!! :o) But YADTY I thought is a part of it yet that really differs and you don?t get that information until the door with SP?s. And I don?t paint a brush here.

 

So only some thoughts as the authors? letter caught my eye with his approach (minus the facial of course..sorry could not help myself..he is just trying to set up the best possible scenario for both parties. Ya this is hard thing to do with the various way some SP's work, various definitions of GFE, bio's not written by the lady themselves, personality can be wrongly promoted etc..

 

I guess as i close speaking of long letters, i realize i am writing because i have literally ripped through a lot of dollars (and no action cause of the points the writer makes.. I too am just looking ONE where i can have an arrangement where everybody is taken care of......I guess i have seen Pretty Woman too much. I don?t just want 1 hour, I am just not like the go getter?s here trying the buffet on this site..HEY no disrespect- I say that in fun and read your reviews with great interest and yes assistance. Thank you!

 

Thanks for the topic! I respect Joy's point for sure given phone and email privacy discretion issues.. but that is a bit extreme to have some of the most important points discussed when someone is already in the door.

 

sorry for going so long..

[don1 120]

Joy, I couldn't agree with you more!! It definitely IS about respect; respect toward the SP for sure (any idiot should know that....Quick, find me an idiot!!) but ALSO about respect for the client as in a quicker rsponse from the SP rather than waiting 3 or 4 emails later before finally responding. In my last attempt before she replied, I did ask if I was too explicit. Why did I have to drag a reply out of her? If she wanted to do a little research on me, she would have seen a couple of my reviews on CERB; ALWAYS with me showing great respect fot the SPs I've seen and offering glowing praise for their "attentions". Also, I wasn't too thrilled to find out that her ad was misleading as to offering incall when she no longer does. Where's the respect for the client there? That was a big waste of time for both of us for nothing. I asked her to see about changing her ad to accurately reflect her services (NO Ottawa incall); no change yet, I see. Either that, or it was a lame excuse to get me off her back. Unfortunately, it often happens that some of us clean, honorable, respectful guys have to suffer for the sins of others'. It goes both ways, too. I sure wouldn't like to see or be involved with pre-judging an SP without taking a bit of time to learn about where they're coming from on a personal level..That was all I was attempting to do.

[Guest HotStuffHeidi]

I don't see anything wrong with your email, really.

 

It sounds kind of hot actually.

:o

[suburb1 153]

Don, excellent feedback. Liked your letter, certainly captures my "would like " outlook. On balance, perhaps taking onboard all the feedback , especially Joy 's and HSHeidi's , a middle strategy would be to reserve explicit desires for the 2nd contact, once the SP indicates a willingness to explore potential fun stuff. Hi, it might just amp up the visit, if the SP is interested. A diversity of views certainly supports creativity!

[Alpha Male 177]

I agree 100% with your last post don1. Alot of these ladies demand respect but are slow in giving it in return. Also, common courtesy on their part would also be appreciated by the prospective client. Like answering the freaking email. Personally, if I don't get a response within 24 hours, then it is her lose and I move on to someone else. By the way, there was absolute nothing wrong with your email. Too explicit? She's a call girl for f**k sakes!! Give me a break!!! And to joyinottawa, "Another thing you guys should learn is the meaning of GFE...a GFE does NOT include facials". That was so condescending and rude. Maybe to you GFE doesn't include facials, but to another SP it might and often does. That's why these things should be discussed ahead of time and an email seems like the appropriate way to do it.

[don1 120]

Suburb1, thanks for your kind words....and you took the words right out....I agree with you and Joy (and, of course, HSHeidi!!)....there's nothing wrong with being explicit, it's just that the client would probably be best served and receive more replies by using Joy's initial email wording and hold off on the juicy details until the 2nd email (waiting in person is WAY too late, in my humble opinion!!).

 

Joy your wording,

 

"..I liked the way you present yourself and would be interested in discussing particulars for a meeting if it doesn't offend you"..

 

would refer to a 2nd email, although you did mention waiting to see the SP in person 1st before describing wants and desires....not a good idea in my opinion. I'm also curious about using the word "offend". It kind of scares me as I think that, in the mind of the SP, she might receive something offensive or disgusting....NEVER my intention. How about,

 

"If you don't mind me discussing details in my next email, I would like to share my desires/preferences with you...nothing gross or demeaning..just good, traditional hot sex!!!" Would that work for you, Joy?!

 

I definitely wouldn't like to talk about it when I finally meet up...that's where and when the spontaneity is crucial!! And, of course, it's not like we have to go through a checklist as each deed is performed....lol!! If certain "activities" don't occur the 1st time but both partners are equally satisfied, then things can evolve naturally with each successive encounter. That's why I mentioned about a long term arrangement. Only then does the fun REALLY begin, when both are more comfortable and can truly express their sexuality!!! I sincerely believe that I worded my initial email respectfully (nothing, gross, demeaning, no profanity, etc...) but there may be some who would consider my 1st contact too detailed. Point well taken. As for Hot Stuff Heidi, I'm thrilled and definitely enticed by your reply....perhaps we can meet sometime and exchange ideas!!!!

[Cowboy kenny 50799]

GFE is a total ymmv option and you should always take that in to consideration. Cripes, I had a girl friend who hated giving blowjobs, and it wasn't just me I knew one of her ex's- same thing. It would take a lot of liquor or a special occasion; like the new phone book coming out, to get her to give in! Some girls LFK but believe it's DFK while other girls will tickle your balls, from the inside!!! (I wont name any names:wink:) ) Now that's DFK!!! Point being that, everyone is different.

 

GFE is also dependant on the chemistry between you and the lady and like real relationship as yours develops with the SP, the GFE can get better. Just don't always expect it on the first session,although it has been known to happen to the cowboy on occassion, but then of course YMMV !

[mrniceguy 110]

Something else to keep in mind... I believe it is technically illegal to discuss the exchange of money for sexual services (i.e. soliciting for the purposes of prostitution), and you will notice many SPs include a disclaimer on their web sites (e.g. "rates quoted are for companionship only, nothing sexual is offered or implied", blah blah...).

 

"Tell me your fantasies" could have just been her way of getting you to think she could help fulfill some fantasies for you; it wasn't an offer for you to describe them in detail in an e-mail. SPs might actually see such an e-mail as entrapment, if they agree to certain acts and quote you a price. That's why it's easier to discuss in person. And I don't think it's all that important to clarify absolutely everything beforehand... as Cowboy says, so much comes down to personal chemistry and how well you click when you actually meet.

[don1 120]

This YMMV term is totally valid, but why do both partners have to wait until meeting in person to find out how much they are incompatible because information was "undershared" in the initial email stage?! Seems to me it would be best to know ahead of time before a disappointing experience...unless the intention of the SP is 1st and foremost to get the money and the clients' interests are secondary...

 

As for respect, she said that she was in school and said,

 

"I'm not like other SP's that simply claim to be in school to sound better."

 

A bit judgemental, perhaps? Where's the respect for her fellow SPs there?

[don1 120]

Yes, MrNiceGuy, I did think of that, but nowhere did I ever mention money. If we as a society can't send emails to people in confidence, then wtf!!? She wouldn't have to respond in any sort of similar detail either, just a simple "sounds interesting and exciting...". That way I would know that I'm not way off base with the SP in question....after all, she mentions the sexual things she does on her personal website!!! Why can't I?!

[whatsup 11893]

Don1

 

I think that your original email was very well written, explaining your wants and desires. You laid it out on the line to your prospective SP and I think that in the end that what happens behind closed doors is only for you and the SP to really know.

 

If anyone has any different views please post.

[d*mm*y 887]

If I like the way they look I usually book a half hour. Then if everything was alright (it is always a little weird the first time hi nice to meet you lets f**K)

If I want a repeat I will be very specific about what I want and wirte something like this:

 

"hi thanks for seeing me I think your hot blah blah blah,

can you confirm what might be on the menu for future meetings, I am interested in but necessary require BBBJ, CIM, Swalow, Greek, 69, 71 DATY MPSOG, couples showering, a nice massage. Also if you have any specialties that I might not have experienced perhaps you can mention them.

I am free the following days and would like to meet for an hour."

 

This generally get 2 reactions

 

1. here is whats on the menu ... here is the best time for me in the dates requested.

 

2. I don't know what half those things are?

 

I think the key is to meet someone for the first time give them some space and let them do it the way they are used to doing it (they do it regularly they usually have a way they are most comfortable doing things) Then if things seemed OK and they weren't totally groused out by me, i felt there was something to build on I follow up.

[Guest HotStuffHeidi]

I really don't know why men are such big fans of greek sometimes though.

 

Being on the receiving end of it is extremely unappealing. I am not dure about the giving part but wow.

 

Sorry this might be off topic and I am not trying to offend anyone at all by this.

 

I just don't really get it. Some people are huge fans, and then others are really not so into it.

[Alpha Male 177]

Different strokes for different folks Heidi

[Guest HotStuffHeidi]

Word.

 

 

There is truth to that.

[loneskater 25635]

There has been many good comments on this one. Somewhere there has to be an acceptable middle ground. Maybe it was too much for a first contact but waiting until meeting in person, open the doors for giving some sp's the excuse to not perform as advertised.

 

There is always the YMMV, however there are sps who are known for never providing anything close to GFE. Wow does this mean they never have any chemistry with any of their clients.

 

Respect is a 2 way street. Personnally, I have the outmost respect for the SP's. They provide a service whcih is great in most cases and I am sure they often have to put up with disrecpectful clients. Put that is no reason to put us all in the same group and there are some of us who also deserve to be treated with respect. There are some ladies who advertise GFE and from the reviews they get here, I would say they constantly deliver. Others seem to push the YMMV option. I have been with an SP lately who was far from GFE and this was not the first time, as there has been previous reviews about her sevice being limited. The common excuse is that she was sick the past few days and maybe she started work to soon. What if a client shows up sick??? If exchange of money is not mentioned in the e-mail why not discuss details before hand. I think those SPs who are consistent providing excellent service as they advertised won't mind.

 

for Heidi; I am not sure about the Greek issue either. Personnally, it is not a priority. I prefer being well taken care of for the time that has been arranged and not being rushed out the door than insisting on Greek.

[Cowboy kenny 50799]

Being on the giving end of greek can be pleasurable, but only more so if both parties are into it.

 

Anyways Heidi, your bum is much more enjoyable to bite, kiss and grab! Yes' those are likely my teeth marks on your gorgeous bum!

[Guest HotStuffHeidi]

Thank you,

 

My bum loves you too Cowboy Kenny haha.

 

I am still trying to adjust to the teeth mark thing.

 

But hey, theres nothing wrong having it rough?

 

Anyways lol, even though my bum might be exceptional in a few peoples eyes (I am NOT trying to brag girls, I am sure you have really nice aspects too. I AM NOT COMPARING TO ANY OTHER GIRL IN THIS INDUSTRY. I am not condescending on you whatsoever, I have just gotten quite a few compliments on my bum personally, thats all.)

 

I just want the girls to know that I plan on doing all I can to stay out of your way, I dont want to make any enemies with any girls. I know my ways of doing things. I won't discuss or talk with anyone else about how you do them.

 

I respect y'all. Everyone has something nice to offer.

 

Kim is really tall from what I can tell, like a model. Thats a very good aspect to have. I'd know. I am short stuff. Short Stuff Heidi. haha.

 

Pot.Of.Gold is realistic, she doesn't f**k around. lol. She also has a gorgeous avatar. I haven't talked to her personally but she seems like an interesting person.

 

Caden, where to end with this girl? She's one of my babygirls.

 

And Chloe, we all know she helped me learn about this industry and guided me through it. She's a really kind and sweet girl.

and yeah, those are the only girls I have really seen on here.

 

Now that we got that out of the way.

 

I know you might like my bum, but exit only.

 

haha.

 

 

OH and I totally agree with the middle ground stuff, but I also think that you should be careful about what you wish for.

 

She titled her ad, tell me all your true desires.. and he did. It could have been toned down a little bit, but they still would have discussed it at some point anyhow.

[d*mm*y 887]

Gees HotStuffHeidi if the Greek was the only thing you found difficult to take than maybe I underestimated u!!!

 

And if a woman has an ugly ass I am into the Greek thing, see if asked it's cause I thought it was nice.

 

I did make the statement a little on the edgy side to get the readers attention and make a point about being to graphic. And I forgot to mention the spanking thing.

[don1 120]

The more I read of you, Hot Stuff Heidi, the more intrigued I am!!! As for Greek, I would never, in my words, assault a woman in that manner unless a woman expressed an interest in such an activity as adding pleasure to her encounter....after all,nerve endings are nerve endings....if treated with respect and sensitivity...it can add to the ultimate pleasure of the encounter, right?!..a gentle probing with a finger, tongue...but , different strokes for different folks...that's why honest communication is so valuable...

[Guest HotStuffHeidi]

I don't know about other girls nerve endings! But mine are like wired opposite to like greek or something. Believe me, I've tried. I mean, being in this kind of industry and not being able to offer something kinda sucks.. because you know another girl might be able.

 

But then again everyone is differant and special in ther own way.

 

I think some things should be dicussed in the email, but some shouldnt you know?

 

Just keeping things basic. I think he did a good job though for the most part.