Pooner Diaries: Running Up My Hill

[Birdboy 10482]

My mind was occupied by work, my fingers tapping, tapping away at my keyboard. As always, I had my tunes playing, filling in the white spaces where silence would reign otherwise. I found that my iPod served as a good talisman, warding off evil writer's block, and today was no different.

 

A new song started. Slow and mournful, trancelike. I stopped typing in mid-tap and looked up. It was a song that I knew well, though it had been quite a while since I had heard it last. It was the Placebo cover of an old Kate Bush tune.

 

It doesn't hurt me.

You want to feel, how it feels?

You want to know, know that it doesn't hurt me..

 

It was a song that I was introduced to by a lady that I used to see, and I had always associated it with her. It had been a long, long time since I had seen her last. I leaned back in my chair and lit a cigarette, and listened to the song play on.

 

You want to hear about the deal I'm making.

You, (If I only could, be running up that hill)

You and me (If I only could, be running up that hill)..

 

I remember our first meeting well. She was very pretty, and we'd traded a few promising e-mails. I called her one day on a whim and I soon found myself seated on her sofa beside her. That first conversation on the sofa was awkward, and not quite I would have expected from her emails. Suffice to say that there was no meeting of minds that day. Still, I thought that we might have a bit of fun for the moment. It disappointed me, but she might be a girl I would see just once and then forget about.

 

But when we got to the bedroom, it had become a different story. Our bodies spoke what our words could not. We moved as one, anticipating each other's desires and passions. We were in sync as I never would have believed possible. I lay back and looked at her with wonder. She smiled, got up, and went to the bathroom. I got up, got dressed, and left in a daze.

 

I was conflicted. Call me old fashioned, but I like to have a little chemistry. Inside the bedroom, to be sure, but a little while we were still vertical was always nice. For us, the chemistry was strong, but only once we'd stopped talking.

 

I thought that I'd forget about her soon enough, but I realized after a few days that she'd gotten to me. Got under my skin, rocked my world, floated my boat, whatever it was you wanted to call it. I knew only one thing for certain about her. I had to see her again.

 

You don't want to hurt me,

But see how deep the bullet lies.

Unaware that I'm tearing you asunder.

There's a thunder in our hearts, baby..

 

So I'd started coming by every once in a while. And every time, we'd have a very light conversation. Then we'd retire to the bedroom for some of that ol' crazy monkey sex, and I would leave an aching but ecstatic man and her with a satisfied smile.

 

Come on, baby, come on, come on, darling,

Let me steal this moment from you now.

Come on angel, come on, come on, darling,

Let's exchange the experience..

 

She was the quintessential nightowl, and I was ever the early morning bird, often waking before the sun rose and when she was settling to go off to sleep. She was young, and I was.. well, not quite so young anymore. I never thought that I would have so much difficulty verbally communicating with someone for whom English was their native tongue. She wasn't dumb, but we were just from different worlds. I found myself wishing that I could understand her just a little better, though we had little in common. Our coming together seemed so improbable, but seeing her thrilled me so much for a time.

 

So much hate for the ones we love?

Tell me, we both matter, don't we?

You, (If I only could, be running up that hill)

You and me (If I only could, be running up that hill)

You and me, won't be unhappy..

 

Kate Bush once said that her song was about the eternal divide between men and women, and how they were constantly misunderstood by each other. How it would be wonderful to truly trade places and live within the other's skin, if only for a moment. And how it would take a deal with God to make that happen. It summed up the way I felt about her, and it was a fitting anthem for that time.

 

And if I only could,

Make a deal with God,

And I'd get him to swap our places,

Be running up that road,

Be running up that hill,

With no problems..

 

Of course, no swap of our souls into each other's bodies and minds was ever going to take place. And that gap between our understandings gradually grew into a massive divide that eventually, inevitably, understandably, brought what we little we had to a close.

 

I glanced over at my cell phone as the song wound to an end. I thought about all the great times that we shared, and I smiled. I stubbed out my cigarette, had a last wry smile, and started typing. The next song's starting..

[Guest al****s]

You have the kind of heart that will always see the good in the people you choose to share your life with. One of the many things I like about you. :)

 

alexis...xoxo

[Birdboy 10482]

And I just love the delicious appreciation you give my tales, Alexis. Thank *you* for making me feel so welcome here at CERB.