Dumbest questions ever

[50 Shades Raven 31380]

ladies & gentlemen,

 

for a bit of entertainment (for myself lol), I thought I would ask what are some of the dumbest questions you have been asked or that you have asked someone?

 

Here are some of the dumbest questions I have been asked:

- how much for the $200 encounter? (kinda like asking what's the number to 911)

- I know you said incall but can you drive out to me? I'm only 90 minutes out of town?

- what does $15 get me? (me answering my door and taking the money for a starbucks!)

- I'm so good you'll want to pay me, is that ok?

 

If you have asked, or been asked a dumb question, let others know .... could be a great form of entertainment.

It doesn't have to relate to providers (but those are funny), it can be anything you have asked (or been asked) that you find weird.

[jafo105 39057]

We used to get this one occasionally when I worked security at a bank or a hospital or jewelry store:

 

Polite thief says: "Do you have any free samples?"

 

Not a wise thing to say. Unless you can afford to have a criminal record.

[Guest n*gu**6]

I was on an accident scene where a car was on its roof in middle of the trans Canada hwy. We had traffic stopped and an impatient motorist got out of his car and walked up to me, looks at the car and asked "was there an accident or something?" I replied "no... the car just thinks its a turtle..."

[JessyCeleste 14078]

Not unique to the industry but Ive always found;

 

"Can I ask a question?" to not only be silly but rather ironic. I don't have a problem with it of course. I just think its funny. I do appreciate it as it is intended; the courtesy of warning someone to mentally prepare that a question is on its way. I just thought this thread wouldn't be complete without it, so I had to chime in. :-)

 

Good thread BTW.

[Guest *na*****69]

I've actually had an experienced sp ask me a threesome was .....

 

what ?!?!?!

 

I was little caught off guard by the question , so I didn't get to reply in my usual sarcastic manner ..

 

oh well

[Guest n*gu**6]

Contractor reviewing the tender drawings for a project.... Calls me. "We don't actually have to build it like this do we? We can do it differently right?"...... My reply.... "of course... Just don't tell my client that he just spent thousands of dollars for me to design and prepare drawings that I didn't need to do, because you can just make it up as you go. And don't tell the City because they think you WILL build per the drawings and that's why they gave us a permit. And don't tell my parents or they will be pissed that I wasted those years and a tonne of money at University learning how to do this when you can just make it up on the spot. But sure..... If you have a better idea!"

[JessyCeleste 14078]

I've actually had an experienced sp ask me a threesome was .....

 

what ?!?!?!

 

I was little caught off guard by the question , so I didn't get to reply in my usual sarcastic manner ..

 

oh well

 

I once knew an SP who escaped a Christian cult she was raised in so there was a LOT she had to learn. She said she only had learned a few years prior to working that counting days of your cycle wasn't a reliable form of birth control, that the earth wasn't under 6000 years old and that HIV wasn't a punishment from God for homosexuals (the only ones who can catch it). She didn't know about lesbians, despite having played with girls. Luckily, she did a lot of research prior to entering the industry, knowing 'if I didn't know this common stuff, Id best educate myself' and did a fine job. :-) This is an extreme example of course. But the point is, SPs come from all sorts of backgrounds and yeah some things they haven't heard of can be very surprising.

 

That was tactful of you, not to answer by reflex. :-) I know when its so shocking, you gotta give yourself a shake. My jaw was on the floor as she told me the things she thought and didn't know about.

 

Additional Comments: Omg I just saw you said she was EXPERIENCED. Oh... wow... that's even more shocking.

[Guest st*****ens**ors]

Reminds me of a couple my parents knew who were raised in a cult. After two years of marriage they couldn't understand why they weren't having children, and were persuaded to seek a doctor's help. The doctor asked how often they slept together, and they responded every night.

 

And they meant sleeping. Neither had ever learned even the slightest hint of the mechanics of intercourse, and thought that proximity, while sharing a bed, created children.

 

Sorry. A bit OT.

[Skyeisthelimit08 1010]

It's funny I get dumb questions like this all the time, "is $50 okay" lol or what's your location when the first word on my ad in big capital letters read "OUTCALL" drives me nuts everytime.

[Guest n*gu**6]

Love it when someone calls me at home, on my landline and then asks "Are you home?"....

[WhereIRoam 21825]

Growing up I often played hockey outside on the driveway.

Over the years, cars would stop and ask for info about how to find a certain street or things of the sort.

This happened more than once, where they start with...

"Hey, you live around here?..."

 

Often felt like answering with, "No, I randomly pick a different driveway everyday to play on."

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I wouldn't say a dumb question but I consider it silly..."Are you available right now?" I understand what they mean but right now at this moment are they going to teleport themselves? Lol. I just laugh when I get texts like this from people I don't even know.

 

"Right now" in their world means 20-30 minutes that it takes for THEM to get there. "Right now" in my world for someone I don't know is about 30-45 minutes and for someone Im already acquainted with could be in as little as 10 minutes. For my regulars I'm good with right now if I'm available to accommodate them.

[Guest n*gu**6]

When the phone rings at 345am and the caller asks... "did I wake you?" ........'nah you moron.... I'm not at all like 95% of the people who sleep at that hour....'

[Guest 1***otd**]

I was sitting on a bus with my newspaper folded and tucked under my left butt cheek. The man sitting across from me asked ... "Excuse me sir ... Are you reading that paper?"

 

My outside voice wanted to say "why yes I am as my ass has 20/20 vision". However, I'm too nice a guy and kept it to my inside voice and handed him the paper

[Guest n*gu**6]

Went into the restaurant last night and the sign said "wait to be seated" so we are standing there patiently waiting. Finally the hostess comes up and asked "would you like a table?" I felt like saying "no we'd rather eat on the floor, carpet for 3 please..."

[WhereIRoam 21825]

When waiting at a service counter or waiting for service while standing at a cash register, when someone working there arrives and asks, "Hi can I help you?".

 

One time I will just want to reply, "No.".

[Kilt Boy 29353]

I was sitting on a bus with my newspaper folded and tucked under my left butt cheek. The man sitting across from me asked ... "Excuse me sir ... Are you reading that paper?"

 

My outside voice wanted to say "why yes I am as my ass has 20/20 vision". However, I'm too nice a guy and kept it to my inside voice and handed him the paper

There is another joke where the guy takes the paper out, turns the page and sits back down on it again.

 

When waiting at a service counter or waiting for service while standing at a cash register, when someone working there arrives and asks, "Hi can I help you?".

 

One time I will just want to reply, "No.".

"It's unlikely, but let's give it a try."

[Guest J**ck*9]

When someone asks you a question, but before you can answer, they answer with another question.

 

Example:

I was eating chicken with veggies last week and my brother-in-law walks in and watches me eating the chicken and says "what are you eating? .... Chicken?"

 

There are quite a few more, but you get the idea ... Lol

[Gregsand 6116]

Dumb question from an SP after I paid: "I'm having my period, does that bother you?"

 

I think I already mentioned this in another thread, but that time I gave her the option of giving me my money back and get out or cut it to a 30 min session at a much lower rate. She took the latter.

[Kilt Boy 29353]

"Don't you want to fuck me?"

 

Duh.

Of course I want to fuck you. My god, have you seen you? You're the most fuckable thing I've seen in a long time!

 

I'm not going to, though. I'm not ruled by my base emotions or my id.

 

Seriously. There are so many reasons to NOT fuck you. But, yeah; I still WANT to.

 

It's like people who ask me if I'm cold when I'm wearing a kilt in -30°C weather. Of course I'm cold. Don't be an idiot. I'm not insensitive to climatic change. I just handle the cold better.

[Kilt Boy 29353]

Am I staring at your ass? No, I'm not staring at your ass. That's where I normally stare. You moved your ass into my Staring Space.

[Amanda-Lee 11094]

When the phone rings at 345am and the caller asks... "did I wake you?" ........'nah you moron.... I'm not at all like 95% of the people who sleep at that hour....'

 

Thank you for the laugh.

 

I remember I left my phone on (this was a long time ago) and some guy called me if he could come over, it was very early and I told him that most of Ottawa is sleeping and told him to call when the sun is up and awake and smiling. Thankfully, I don't give my SP number out anymore, so my sleep is peaceful and quiet.

 

I volunteer a lot and I was on security duty and a lady read a sign, "no pets allowed on the carpet" she then looks at me says, "oh I can't go on the carpet." I had no time to process anything she said until she moved away and then yelled, "wait! I am not a pet! I can go on the carpet!" She walked by with this huge smile on her face.

[Gregsand 6116]

Love it when someone calls me at home, on my landline and then asks "Are you home?"....

 

In their defense, it's not unusual for landlines and mobile phones to be linked under a same number or via call transfert. I see it as very valid question.

 

In term of dumb questions, "are you clean?" is definitely one. No matter if you ask a woman you met in a bar/online or hire an SP, the question is pretty pointless and only serve as a way to deflect responsibility if you contract an infection. Even if she shows a note from a doctor, it doesn't show everything and shouldn't be a green light for unsafe sexual practices.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Haha funny thread!

" so what happens in the bedroom?" well we take a nap silly!

"Whats a happyending?" It means I wont make you sad!

"Will you have an O?" I cant predict the future and I dont know....will I??

On A Saturday.. " what are you work hours?"

" Monday to Friday"

"So Can I book you today?"

Well today is Saturday dear!

 

Ohhh man I could keep going! Lol

[Gregsand 6116]

Was asked twice :"Are you a cop?".

 

Wanted to answer: "yes, but left my gun, badge and handcuffs at home because it's my day off."