How to survive the office party

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By Jo Bryant, REUTERS

 

 

Don't end up soused in front of co-workers. (Shutterstock)

 

LONDON - The Mad Men-esque days of over-the-top office parties where co-workers got roaring drunk, and ended up wearing lampshades are out of style.

Fortunately for everyone, the office party has matured, by and large, into a more relaxed event where workers can actually socialize and enjoy the holidays without thinking about deadlines, or getting hit on by Bob from marketing.

Plan early.

If you?re in charge of scheduling the office party, start planning as soon as possible. Send invitations or let employees know the date, time and location at least one month in advance so they can plan accordingly. Also be sure to let co-workers know if the invitation includes spouses and significant others or even children.

Spouses.

Make sure they feel included and comfortable. Let them know what to wear, and give them a heads up on the names of bosses and colleagues who are likely to be there. At the party, don?t ditch them. Make sure you introduce them to your important workplace family. If there is a seated dinner, this is one event when couples are seated together.

Gift exchanges.

Avoid purchasing a gift for your boss, unless you go in on it as part of a large group; otherwise, you look like you?re currying favor. If your office is holding any type of gift exchange, come prepared. Keep your choice office-appropriate (hand lotion, yes; perfume, no), and stay within any rules, especially regarding price. Be a good sport and participate in the exchange; it shows you are a team player.

You?re going to have to talk to someone.

If the thought of party small-talk makes you sweat, don?t panic. People who blather on are usually the ones who embarrass themselves, not the quiet type. Simply think before you speak. Provide a frame of reference when you introduce yourself, ?Hi, I?m Sarah; I just joined accounting this summer.?

Have a list of potential topics in mind that will help you get a conversation going: current news, pop culture, and sports are all good places to start. Try to avoid yes or no questions. ?What are your plans for the holidays?? will generate a more detailed response than ?Are you traveling for the holidays?? And remember, the wallflower near the buffet is probably looking for a conversation just as much as you are.

Be present

Though this is an office party, leave your work at your desk. Switch off mobile devices or set to silent. If you must take a call or check an e-mail, step away from the party. Give your attention to those you are chatting with ? don?t look over their shoulder while you look for someone more important to speak to.

Was photocopying your backside ever a good idea?

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The Mad Men-esque days of over-the-top office parties where co-workers got roaring drunk, and ended up wearing lampshades are out of style.

 

Now you tell me.

 

Mind you it wasn't so bad. I discovered that when everyone gets rip roaring tipsy, many of our inhibitions disappear. That's a good thing.

 

I was able to go to work on the following Monday with only a trace of alcohol remaining in my system from Friday.

 

My very attractive 30 something boss did booty grind me vigorously, so I can't be responsible for the fact that I didn't move when it started. I have a new fondness for my boss.

 

The new girl from Montreal did give me her phone number and said that she would cook me breakfast. I have a new fondness for the new girl.

 

The recently divorced west coast girl likes to hug. I like the recently divorced west coast girl, she smells nice.

 

The hot Asian girl told me in no uncertain terms that she had yet to find a man that could satisfy her orally. Then she smiled. Then she winked. I like the smiling, winking, hot Asian girl.

 

Now if only I remembered the lampshade trick....