Seeking feedback from those with wisdom...

[WhereIRoam 21825]

I am a Millennial. Although I have been in the industry for a few years now, nothing like this has happened before. I always enjoy visiting different women. When I meet someone that I connect and have chemistry with I will return to see them. Even though relations between punters and providers would be described as "superficial" by the normal public, I have to admit that with three women I have met as a punter that over time I have formed an unexplainable or undefinable bond with. Not feelings of love or anything like that but feelings of always wishing them well or that they are safe and that no harm will come to them, caring for them as a person.

 

There is a woman that I have seen many times over the past two and a half years. We are "friends" and have always been honest and kind to one another. Sometimes we even message each other just to hi and share in some small talk, about anything.

 

Getting to my point. I thought of her yesterday and realized that I haven't heard from her in over two weeks. I checked BP and noticed she hasn't posted her ad in just as long a time. When ever I message her she always responds within five minutes or if she's busy it's usually within an hour and a bit. I sent her a message this afternoon, "Hi ?. Haven't heard from you in a while. Hope you're alright." No reply. Sent another message over two hours ago, "Hi ?. It's been two weeks. Wondering if you're ok. Send me a message with "not interested" or "stop texting me" if this is the case. No reply.

 

I'm seeking feedback from someone who is more wise than I am in this matter. I am not sad if she has moved on, even would be happy for her, but concerned for her well being. This ever happen to anyone?

[Guest *tt**amal**]

I am a Millennial. Although I have been in the industry for a few years now, nothing like this has happened before. I always enjoy visiting different women. When I meet someone that I connect and have chemistry with I will return to see them. Even though relations between punters and providers would be described as "superficial" by the normal public, I have to admit that with three women I have met as a punter that over time I have formed an unexplainable or undefinable bond with. Not feelings of love or anything like that but feelings of always wishing them well or that they are safe and that no harm will come to them, caring for them as a person.

 

There is a woman that I have seen many times over the past two and a half years. We are "friends" and have always been honest and kind to one another. Sometimes we even message each other just to hi and share in some small talk, about anything.

 

Getting to my point. I thought of her yesterday and realized that I haven't heard from her in over two weeks. I checked BP and noticed she hasn't posted her ad in just as long a time. When ever I message her she always responds within five minutes or if she's busy it's usually within an hour and a bit. I sent her a message this afternoon, "Hi ?. Haven't heard from you in a while. Hope you're alright." No reply. Sent another message over two hours ago, "Hi ?. It's been two weeks. Wondering if you're ok. Send me a message with "not interested" or "stop texting me" if this is the case. No reply.

 

I'm seeking feedback from someone who is more wise than I am in this matter. I am not sad if she has moved on, even would be happy for her, but concerned for her well being. This ever happen to anyone?

 

Providers will step aside from the industry without warning for a variety of reasons. I wouldn't push it as I'm sure she has enough friends close to her that if they didn't hear from her they'd see if something is up.

 

If you keep texting her you may lose that connection you have as it may come across in ways you don't mean it to.

 

Sometimes life gets busy or circumstances change and you aren't available to this side of ourselves, whether clients or providers

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

This actually goes both ways! I get worried about people I haven't seen or heard from in awhile but I realize that they have people in their life beyond our great connection and I must just trust that they are being taken care of! I know it doesn't stop you from worrying but I am sure she has support. I am pretty sure we all do :) I hope this doesn't come off the wrong way!

[WhereIRoam 21825]

Thank you both for the feedback, much appreciated!

@Meg No, it didn't come off wrong. Point well taken.

[casey 2936]

My prayers are with you. She will come back...100% trust me! It's just a matter of time. The rule of thumb like you and me, SPs have their own privacy as well and whatnot, the other side of her world to handle. Would that be something for better or worse? Well, that really bewildered us at some point. On a side note, we get perplexed because we strongly feel that she should text us back and at least, tells us what is going on. Once we know, I believe the best we can do is to wish her luck and we stop right there. We are big boys after all.

 

A wonderful gent whom I got to know in lyla lately gave me wise words that we are here just to seek pleasure, but play safely and expect no more. For a newbie like me, it's kinda hard to do. The compulsion to show affection and to get emotionally attached is still very strong. And that potentially leads to, if not worse but the same complication as yours as well.

 

How about well-decorated veteran hobbyists out there? Mind to share some of your thoughts in handling this kind of situation? Do I need to poke my finger with a needle everytime (to keep me sane, so to speak) when I ever want to text my fav lady trivial messages? :icon_sad:

[Dave in Phoenix 753]

At least if you break up with a SP friend no one pays alimony.

 

More seriously, for me meeting SP is not all about sex but a connection for the moment that is more intimate than just physical sex. I have had zillions of these connections over the decade with SP's and some have become non-client friends. But often they move to another city (not to get away from me but in the U.S. cities like my Phoenix are very hard to work in due to all the LE stings). Or, if become close friends find they have issues I just do not want to deal with .. like drugs.

 

to the OP it is normal to be concerned about a SP (or Megs concern on the other side). But once you have made contact by text/e-mail you have to move on and release the emotions or you might be seen as a "pest". As "Shut up and kiss me" suggested (I love that title), she may reply later and surprise you and have a very good reason why she went "silent."

 

Sadly we have had that happen in Phoenix when a SP is busted and LE takes their phone and identity such as for P411 and pretends to be the SP to do verifications with other SPs as references to sting, answers calls from clients who solicit for sex etc... At least you don't have that risk in Canada.

 

Additional Comments:

BTW I had thought "shut up and kiss me" was female.. oops but still a good title.

[hank1364 576]

There could be many reasons why you haven't heard back from her.

Maybe she is just out of town, on a vacation or visiting family elsewhere.

 

Ladies leave for a variety of reasons. Some, that have been putting themselves through school working as an SP find a job in their field of study. Some meet Mr Right, fall in love and move on. Although some have been back if the relationship doesn't workout.

There could be many reasons as to why she hasn't replied. But you may just get a text from her tomorrow.

[WhereIRoam 21825]

This being the first for me, it just majorly sucks and not in a good way!

[blacklabdog 3049]

keep in mind that she may not have gotten your message. eg many carry a work and a personal phone. She could just be on vacation or want a break and this includes turning work phone off

[Parker 19761]

I am a Millennial. Although I have been in the industry for a few years now, nothing like this has happened before. I always enjoy visiting different women. When I meet someone that I connect and have chemistry with I will return to see them. Even though relations between punters and providers would be described as "superficial" by the normal public, I have to admit that with three women I have met as a punter that over time I have formed an unexplainable or undefinable bond with. Not feelings of love or anything like that but feelings of always wishing them well or that they are safe and that no harm will come to them, caring for them as a person.

 

There is a woman that I have seen many times over the past two and a half years. We are "friends" and have always been honest and kind to one another. Sometimes we even message each other just to hi and share in some small talk, about anything.

 

Getting to my point. I thought of her yesterday and realized that I haven't heard from her in over two weeks. I checked BP and noticed she hasn't posted her ad in just as long a time. When ever I message her she always responds within five minutes or if she's busy it's usually within an hour and a bit. I sent her a message this afternoon, "Hi ?. Haven't heard from you in a while. Hope you're alright." No reply. Sent another message over two hours ago, "Hi ?. It's been two weeks. Wondering if you're ok. Send me a message with "not interested" or "stop texting me" if this is the case. No reply.

 

I'm seeking feedback from someone who is more wise than I am in this matter. I am not sad if she has moved on, even would be happy for her, but concerned for her well being. This ever happen to anyone?

 

As mentioned by those who have already posted, there are so many reasons why you may not get a reply. From leaving the business to vacations, family emergencies and even new relationships.

 

But another common reason is feelings.

Not everyone is "out" when it comes to working in this industry.

For some, it's a totally secret, hidden and separate part of their lives- I could see how feelings going in either direction could seriously complicate things, (in a life that might already be full of complications.)

 

While I tell those I don't want contact with anymore why, some people just aren't good with confrontation.. and though I know you genuinely had the best of intentions, messages like "even if you don't want to see me, please reply" tend to make those who dislike confrontation even more uncomfortable.

 

Just to be clear, I don't think there's anything wrong with caring about/for a companion, (I have clients I've become close friends with over the years.) I just feel that, in many instances, it has to be approached and handled different than with someone who you're not paying.

 

You might get a reply in the future with apologies for the delay and making you worry, or you might never hear from her again.. Either way, the best thing to do is try to not worry or dwell on it. /hugs

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Hopefully she is okay but it does sound out of the ordinary that she did not respond given the fact you would see her very regularly. There are gentlemen I have more exclusive arrangements with along with regular clients who I have grown to very fond of them and vice versa. If were going anywhere, I would certainly be letting them know because I wouldn't want them to worry.

 

Given her silence, from what I can gather speaking ONLY from personal experience and other ladies I have known in the business who I've seen come and go, this could be more of a personal issue they are probably dealing with.

 

It's probably best to leave it for now. I know that's not an easy thing but clients and SPs are only a small fraction of each other' lives and hopefully she has others in her life to support her. The possibilities are endless as to what's going on. If she has no ads, maybe she is worried someone has found out what she does for a living. Again, I don't want to speculate but...

 

It's a shame that you will have to wait this one out temporarily or maybe permanent as we all like closure when someone exits our life. I'm sending you good vibes that she will contact you. My telepathy skills are very well honed. Lol.

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

It could be as simple as having her phone off. I have 2 phones. If I'm going on a trip my "work" phone stays home.

If I want to take a break it stays off.

Please let us know if you find out she's ok. hugs

[Daisy Mae 2693]

While it's hard not to want to worry about her, it's likely your best option to sit and wait. Pressing for an answer may worry her about your intentions (not an insult to you or anything, just we SPs tend to always have our backs up) but the few messages you have sent, if she returns, will come across as kind and caring.

 

You have done all you can, at this point, just wait :)

[WhereIRoam 21825]

I haven't messaged her since the two yesterday and I won't send anymore. It is not easy to simply forget, I just need to let it go. I appreciate everyone's feedback.

 

I just had a good old friend take me out for lunch. I've had many calls and messages today wishing me a happy birthday and I'm thankful for all of them... Still I find myself wishing for a simple message from this person.

 

It's making me wonder how close I will allow myself to get with an SP in the future.

 

Additional Comments:

I know, I know. Rookie mistake.

[Hukupp 1651]

You see? You are already getting wiser with age ;)

[Claire Heavens 51771]

There really can be real connection's regardless of the profession at hand... client turned cli-fri turned friend turned boyfriend turned ex been there done that HOWEVER at the end of the day we are BOTH PEOPLE. 'HUMAN'

I have the most horrific track record of two girls in my life I shared this industry with- take their own lives, suddenly without any warning that wasn't met with being obviously oblivious.... so not to be the party pooper but you can't always cover shit up with sprinkles and hope people eat it. Life happens. Sometimes shit happens to life.

 

My most recent Absence was unplanned and even unbeknownst to ME - I had Amnesia (think movie OVERBOARD -Nobody claimed Me Hahaha jk..? Or did they.... Insert scary music here) Heaven sent me back. Over qualified, ya know?

 

But to undo my morbidity. .... I'd like to sell some sprinkles and say I'm sure she's fine - she just suddenly went awol as I do LOTS ....

[Guest Miss Jane TG]

How about honesty instead of wisdom?

 

Two words draw my attention: "friends" & "close". The perfect combo of misconceptualizing the whole state of affairs between sex worker and client.

[WhereIRoam 21825]

How about honesty instead of wisdom?

 

Two words draw my attention: "friends" & "close". The perfect combo of misconceptualizing the whole state of affairs between sex worker and client.

 

So, besides being kind and respectful, the two should never give two beans about one another? Got it!

[Daisy Mae 2693]

You're more than welcome to get close to an SP- sorry, I guess my advice was too basic. To agree with Claire-

 

On the one side; this sucks. You don't know what happened. You haven't heard what happened. You may never hear what happened.

 

We all know this game. I've had clients (known ones, even) drop off the face of the earth and never heard from them again. Upsetting. Did he hate me? Did he die? Did someone find out? Etc etc... all answers I'll never get.

 

But that's the nature of such a discrete industry- you don't get to know.

 

And while it sucks,

 

On side number 2- for starters, she could be fine. And about getting "close" to an SP... I'd say you should continue to do so. It's worth it. I worry about getting close to clients (I have many dear client friends) but I'd think it'd hurt me ( & you !) a lot more if we acted like this was something similar to purchasing carrots at the self check-out at loblaws. Let yourself feel the good and the bad. The good more than makes up for it :)

[Parker 19761]

So, besides being kind and respectful, the two should never give two beans about one another? Got it!

 

I don't think anyone's saying that..

But, generally, escorting is not and cannot make up for 'normal' dating or having an actual girlfriend.

 

Sometimes clients see me and it's clear that they aren't looking for a companion, they're looking for a girlfriend- and this is not the place to be looking for a girlfriend. Girlfriend Experience, sure.. but you can't start a real dating relationship based on fake names and paid for time and attention.

 

While we might do our job too well at times, it is still a job.

[WhereIRoam 21825]

I don't think anyone's saying that..

But, generally, escorting is not and cannot make up for 'normal' dating or having an actual girlfriend.

 

Sometimes clients see me and it's clear that they aren't looking for a companion, they're looking for a girlfriend- and this is not the place to be looking for a girlfriend. Girlfriend Experience, sure.. but you can't start a real dating relationship based on fake names and paid for time and attention.

 

While we might do our job too well at times, it is still a job.

 

I'm not looking for a girlfriend in this industry, nor in my life at the moment. Some kind of caring bond did come from knowing each other for well over two years. As for what the post said about mentioning "friends" and "close", I used the terms loosely as in within the realm of the industry, to describe the circumstance. I'm not a complete fool. As for this thread, I digress.

[Guest v**do****g]

She could be dealing with something very traumatic in her personal life or decided to split from the business and needs to distance herself from all clients and cut off all connections to that part of her life.

 

If she decides to come back I am sure that she would contact you if you had a such a friendly relationship prior to this.

[nntsci 11076]

Funny you should ask. My favourite lady switched off her cell phone for almost a month... just because she was sick of technology ... it made arranging a date tricky... .e.g., what if I need to get hold of her; what if I'm running late.

 

I have developed friendships with two providers over the years. Its nice of you to be concerned, but there is nothing you can do anyway. I assume you don't actually know her name or anything about her other than her work info... and don't try to find her real name etc.. or you might actually hurt her.

 

You compassion for her is touching, but I wouldn't worry about it... odds are she is taking a few days off. It could be she is on vacation, or if she is a student she has stuff to do (papers to write -- this is a busy time for students), or she could be visiting relatives... enjoying a last ski adventure in Banff, or enjoying the spring weather... the possibilities are endless.

 

Hope it works out.

[Claire Heavens 51771]

So, besides being kind and respectful, the two should never give two beans about one another? Got it!

 

With all seriousness aside for a few seconds - am I the only one who actually read this for the hilarious tone it is being said in.... ? I know I have erotic..... er. ... neurotic humor on top of memory loss but I can hear it and see it paired with a perfect grin. ... "ah yeah.. okay THAAAANKS" WINKY FACE GERBER.

LOL.

 

Ladeedah I swore I wasnt gonna get into trouble today damnit. Ah well.... technically THAT was YESTERDAY :)

RRRRRROARRRR

[NotchJohnson 214136]

I feel for you WhereIRoam, when I first started this lifestyle I met a gorgeous lady who stole my heart and we became good friends. We still communicate on here once in a while and I always love to hear(read) what she has to say. I can say that from the spring to the fall of that year(2009 if my memory does not fell me) was the most beautiful time I had ever had with a lady, beside my wife. My reason for mentioning this on your thread is simply because their might have been a year or 2 where we did not communicated and I thought I did something wrong but that was not the case.

 

Fast forward to 2016/17 I met a young lady and we have become close friends too. She is way too young to be a partner in life(27 years difference) but she is more mature then her age and prefers older man. We often find ourselves talking about anything and I love spending my time with her when we meet. She went on a vacation and I was not aware of it but I respect her even though she did it that way. It took 2 months before I got a text from her.

 

Keep calm and things will turn out fine.