Taken advantage of by member

[diver9500 443]

Good evening folks,

 

It is with great sadness I write this message. Recently, my kindness and trust was misplaced with another member of this site. At this time, I'm not a liberty to disclose the name of said member but hope, with mod clarity I will be able to.

 

I guess I broke the cardinal rule, paying upfront. I was feeling compassionate for a situation that the provider disclosed to me and offered to pay for our meeting in advance to help out.

 

When it came time to book, several scheduling conflicts occurred but I finally thought I had something that could work but I was told said provider was going out and was finished for the night at 8pm.

 

Bummer, but I understood, and asked simply to be notified if that should by some chance change. About an hour later I was going to make an appointment with another provider when I came across a newly posted ad for this provider, making me suspicious the provider was in fact working and not done for the evening.

 

I jumped to my cell phone and contacted the provider by the number listed in the ad, of course, the provider not knowing it was me as all of our communications had been contained to this site. After a quick couple of messages it was established the provider was working and willing to see me a good 2 hours after apparently being done for the night. I never let on that I knew any different but I contacted the provider on LYLA to ask if I could make arrangements and that I had noticed a new ad was posted. This is where things went awry. I was accused of not believing the provider, and asked to not contact ever again and that a refund would be given to me, which didn't happen.

 

My money still up in the air, I replied, and apologized and agreed my money could be refunded or our arrangement could be upheld to which I was given a mod warning and subsequently told not to have any contact with said provider.

 

It is my hope and message that no one else makes the mistake I did, that I be given permission to name said provider so that no one else falls victim to the predicament I am in right now. If the provider reads this message I would hope you reach out and provide my refund as you had originally suggested to me you would.

 

Sorry for the long rant but I've been made to feel like I'm guilty until proven innocent and I don't have a voice looking out for my best interest in this matter.

[Leviathan31 8387]

I've given/"lent" money to friends who are providers and have always gotten it back, but a relationship was established beforehand.

 

I have also lent money to other providers and have been promised either cash back (ain't gonna happen) or some time, which never seems to pan out.

 

Being a "nice guy" should only happen when you know and trust the girl; otherwise, chances are, you will be screwed around from time to time.

[Guest]

This is extremely discouraging to hear, and I am so sorry this happened to you.

 

It is a cardinal rule not to pay up front on the hobbyist side, just as on a provider side it is a rule not to provide service before getting paid.

 

that said, it is incredibly disheartening that we (hobbyists and providers) have to be so suspicious, simply in order to not be taken advantage of.

 

it just goes to show that this industry is rife with scammers and those looking for an easy/free ride. It goes both ways: I have heard many a sob story from a client looking for discounted or even free service and these types clearly are not too dignified to use pity to try and get it.

 

having been susceptible to these situations in the past, I don't fall for it anymore, but it breaks my heart that

 

1) I have to be so suspicious at all times; not being able to drop my guard really inhibits the intimacy I can bring to an encounter

and

2) how there are good, human hobbyists and providers alike whose kindness and compassion gets taken advantage of.

 

I mean, it really hurts the rest of us because (refer to #1 and) keep that up and soon there will be no trusting people anywhere, and then what?

 

Sometimes we have to trust.

What would happen to this industry (just one example) if there was no trust at all? It would not survive as we know it. And that is devastating to me, especially when I think of all the wonderful, genuine connections and friendships I have built thanks in no small part to this industry.

 

As a provider, trust is what assures my safety and continued financial success in this business. Having even one client (or provider from that perspective) lose their trust in me is simply not worth the 'free' money, as far as I am concerned. My reputation is worth more than my hourly rate, and always will be. It really is worth it, having integrity.

 

PROOF: (not even making this up!) A client called me after our encounter two nights ago, 'claiming' (that's another story for another time that I think he was just pretending!) that he couldn't find his wallet. the peace of mind that comes from knowing I would never do such a thing and being able to honestly assure him to keep looking he will surely find it and call me when he does is ABSOLUTELY WORTH MORE THAN WHATEVER I MIGHT HAVE STOLE FROM HIS WALLET, were I such an unsavory type as that. I didn't have to panic or work to convince him I wouldn't do that. I just knew that because I did not take it, he would find it. Sure enough, the call saying he found it came only 2 minutes later.

 

It is simply not worth it for anyone who wishes to be successful. Perhaps that is why it is best to stick with providers who have a verifiable reputation as legitimate. those are the ones you can reasonably trust won't steal from you or try to take advantage of you because its not in their best interests. and those are the ones that (for the hobbyists) you shouldn't try to take advantage of, either. no ones deserves to be tricked, but the lesson is to be extra wary of anyone who doesn't already have a reputation that surely will be damaged by such a heinous act.

 

One way or the other, she will get her just desserts. Guaranteed, she lost more than you in the grander scheme of things! Especially since you took the time to post about it. I hope you are able to name her and post in the warning section so other's don't fall prey to her tactics.

 

Please don't let her treachery taint your good nature! just... allocate your kindness more warily in the future :) I hope you remain a good-hearted person while protecting yourself against anything like this again. People we can trust are paramount in this business (and this otherwise damnable world), on both sides.

 

thanks again for your post!

 

best,

[MelanieBunny 13390]

I told you I wasn't working, because I wasn't. All texts that I received that evening I told I was not working, but gave my donation rates.

 

Yes, you paid up front and then you continued to harass me for not being available when you were. I to have a life outside of working. Your messages were sent to MOD for a reason and if they didn't feel that they were an issue, you wouldn't have a warning on your account.

 

I told you that you would have your money back, and you will. There was no need for this post. You paid up front knowing my situation at hand with my sick pet, I used that money towards the vet bills as I told you I would be so I no longer have it handy at this moment.

 

Everything was fine until you were sending 2-3 messages at a time, you're now twisting everything around to make me look like the bad guy here.

 

I have a few loyal clientele on Lyla that will tell you I am not a scammer, nor am I one to take advantage of anyone.

 

I am very hurt by this post.