Stealthing

[Kilt Boy 29353]

Stealthing is described as surreptitiously removing a condom during sex.

 

This is deplorable behaviour, in my opinion.

 

You both agreed to have sex and one of the conditions was that the top wears a Jimmy hat (a complex device that can help prevent both overpopulation and intercellular war). Changing the conditions voids the agreement. No consent equals rape. Then, we're right back to all the issues that accompany bareback riding.

 

How would you, as a provider, handle this situation?

[Daisy Mae 2693]

Honestly that's not an easy answer. In the best situation, you end the appointment, kick him out, don't see him again.

 

But a man willing to sneak around your consent like that- you're not always going to end up with the "best situation". Maybe he won't leave. Maybe he wants the money back. Maybe things get physical. Maybe authorities need to get involved. Maybe you're scared and nothing happens. Etc etc etc. The trust is dead and your safety is immediately compromised- so many possible reactions to such a sneaky, vile deed. :-(

 

But ya, minus extreme circumstances- preferably, I'd just kick him out. And not to jinx anything, as here's hoping it never happens.

[Kilt Boy 29353]

I just found it hard to believe that it was so prevalent as to have a descriptive term associated. Here is a link to a transcript of a recorded interview with some young jerk who regularly does this.

 

http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/hack/why-i-stealth-most-of-the-time/8533822

[Daisy Mae 2693]

Oh- ya, we all knew it was a thing. I keep a heavy eye on it, lol, "re-adjusting" that involves a "stealthy" hand checking for any disposed of protection.

 

But the prevalence of it is likely stemming from what I said; nobody really wants to fight with a (likely stronger) guy who's already got them in a compromising position and alone, a situation that could easily turn violent. Guys know this. And on a simpler note, sexually inexperienced people may also not fully understand the extent of the risk they take without a condom.

 

TLDR it's sad. :(

[Guest st*****ens**ors]

I just found it hard to believe that it was so prevalent as to have a descriptive term associated. Here is a link to a transcript of a recorded interview with some young jerk who regularly does this.

 

http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/hack/why-i-stealth-most-of-the-time/8533822

 

Your reaction mirrors mine. I just learned of the term in a news article yesterday and was dumbstruck, not that the style of assault (because without question it is an assault) occurs, but that it occurs frequently enough to have acquired an urban slang name.

 

People don't shock me by being, on occasion, horrifying. When that horrifying behavior is normalized within even a fringe culture -- I understand some fraternities have made a hazing game of this -- that shocks me.

[MichMelle 1050]

I would consider that a form of rape, because you are violating an agreement and/or rights between two persons involving a sexual act. Another way of thinking is what if the violator were to just force it in the other hole without consent...

 

Maybe not the best comparison but i hope you get my logic lol..

 

Regards,

 

Michelle.Monet xoxo

[stewie15 310]

I would consider that a form of rape

 

No question about it, as soon a guy does this he is doing something his partner did not consent to. No different than continuing after a girl says "stop".

[Parker 19761]

How would you, as a provider, handle this situation?

 

I can't see any of the gents I spend time with (professionally or personally,) ever trying something like this..

Or any non-sociopathic & mentally sound person really.

Aside from chancing an unwanted pregnancy, people who do this are also chancing psychologically damaging the person who was kind enough to share their body with them.

 

(Since I don't think I'm suppose to comment on Lyla about anything intimate that may or may not happen between clients and myself, I'm simply commenting as a sexually active woman who has/has had casual sex with men. ;))

 

To answer your question;

If someone did this to me, I would have to do what I do any and every time there's a slipped or broken condom with someone who's sexual history I don't know/can't trust- A trip to the doctor's for prophylactic measures, (medications that prevent you from contracting viruses & infections,) Plan B and more testing in specific intervals.

 

Thankfully, I've only ever had to do all of this once since becoming sexually active.. and it wasn't because someone had 'stealthed' me.

[Kilt Boy 29353]

But the prevalence of it is likely stemming from what I said; nobody really wants to fight with a (likely stronger) guy who's already got them in a compromising position and alone, a situation that could easily turn violent.

Just to be sure, I'll try to make sure that there is at least one additional woman in the room at all times. For safety. Good idea.

 

I'm pretty sure that two of you could take me.

 

(Just trying to lighten up a pretty dour conversation a little bit.)