Question for the ladies...

[Sensual Erin 33928]

First off, I am so happy to now be a part of an excellent board. I've been here a week now and have spoken to many nice people that are reputable and seem genuine. I had an experience last week. It wasn't necessarily a bad one, as I had seen this client a few times before and he was very anxious to see me again. I book by email and should have realized maybe that he didn't ask for my donation as most do when re booking, with me. I saw him anyway and noticed he was taking a little too long getting his things together as I walked him to the door. He reached into his wallet and only had change so I trusted that he would be back after going to the nearest bank machine. An hour past and I let him know that my day was being held up and he reassured me he would be back and gave me a story of how his friend was in crises. I emailed the next day in disbelief, and let him know I felt used and now knew he would not come back. I asked him to never contact me again and now wary of the fact he may use another email address to try again. It's bothered me ever since and was wondering about any similar experiences and how it made you feel? I fell used and violated as a result and would love to hear some input. I'm so thankful now that I am on this site as this is what happened advertising on CL.

 

Cheers!

 

Erin

[etasman2000 15994]

I'm sorry to hear about your experience.

 

General protocol dictates that compensation be taken care of first before all else. And yes he might contact you with another email but you also have the option of turning him away at the door.

[Winnipegcub 21293]

Erin so sorry to hear this. Agree with Etas, finances should be taken care of up front. After the initial kiss/hug and a few pleasant words I always provide the donation at the beginning. I don't wait for the lady to ask. Gentlemen will expect this and you should not see anyone who isn't.

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

Sorry to hear about this, Erin. Lesson learned: Ask for your fee upfront. If he is a gentlemen, he will have no problem doing this.

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

You should blacklist him...also not sure if you have access to the sp section but should let the ladies know who he is..if he's a cerb member and his email address is what we usually post and his number so it can't happen to another lady. he took advantage your your niceness and this isn't right.

hugs to you,

Emma

[Two Thirty 1422]

'Really sorry to hear this happened to you. I agree with the posters' comments: A gentleman WILL provide you with his consideration/donation upfront, no questions asked. I echo Emma's suggestion as well, which will not only help you but the other fine SPs in this community. Have a better day!

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Do not be afraid to ask beforehand. Most guys know the drill and take the money out of their pocket before anything starts. Most times I go to sit down and they realize to put the money on the table. Other times I have said "Shall we take care of business before we get comfortable?" There has only been one time a guy actually said no and I told him it's my policy and that he was free to leave. He paid upfront. Even people who will seem genuine and respectable may try to pull the wool over your eyes. I'm not saying not to trust anyone however most SPs are always on guard. Business comes first and then the good part for them.

[Sweet Angel 1838]

First off, I am so happy to now be a part of an excellent board. I've been here a week now and have spoken to many nice people that are reputable and seem genuine. I had an experience last week. It wasn't necessarily a bad one, as I had seen this client a few times before and he was very anxious to see me again. I book by email and should have realized maybe that he didn't ask for my donation as most do when re booking, with me. I saw him anyway and noticed he was taking a little too long getting his things together as I walked him to the door. He reached into his wallet and only had change so I trusted that he would be back after going to the nearest bank machine. An hour past and I let him know that my day was being held up and he reassured me he would be back and gave me a story of how his friend was in crises. I emailed the next day in disbelief, and let him know I felt used and now knew he would not come back. I asked him to never contact me again and now wary of the fact he may use another email address to try again. It's bothered me ever since and was wondering about any similar experiences and how it made you feel? I fell used and violated as a result and would love to hear some input. I'm so thankful now that I am on this site as this is what happened advertising on CL.

 

Cheers!

 

Erin

 

If it makes you feel any better I've also been there and understand how you feel when you say that you felt used and violated. It's only natural to feel that way when you feel you've been taken advantage of. It sure will bring you back to reality quickly. Don't worry though, it only gets better from here. :smile:

 

Blacklisting the man would be the best idea that I've heard. I doubt the same man will try to contact you, but if he does, let him know that you won't play until he pays you what he owes plus interest...lol.

 

Everybody here has such great advice. Always get your donation up front Erin.

[roamingguy 300292]

Bad enough for a client to do this. But a repeat client, not only to be stolen from (yes he stole from you), but betraying a trust which gets established over time, no excuse, just despicable behaviour on his part

It is a lesson learned, always get payment up front. I can only speak for myself, but I have no problem giving payment up front.

As Emma says, blacklist him. If he is a CERB member, I believe you can report this to the Mod. It is not a matter of vindictivness, it is a matter that if he does this once, he'll do it again

Sorry to hear that this happened to you

RG

[Sensual Erin 33928]

Thank you so much everyone for your advice and contributions in regards to this matter. I'm really touched by the kindness I have received from everyone on here. I do still have his email address and will forward it the MOD so hopefully, he will be blacklisted if he is a member of Cerb. He doesn't deserve to be a member of a fine community and possibly take advantage of anyone else.. He was a repeat and am very disappointed, but so much worse can happen and it's a lesson learned. With someone like this, he at the very least is a thief with no respect. A no show is a little annoying, but you can get on with your day....this is inexcusable. For now on the monies before the play, so everyone can relax and have fun. : )

 

Thanks guys!

xoxo

[AncientMariner 154]

Erin,

 

Given that you saw him last week, ie a few days ago, and he stilll has not made an effort to pay you, I highly recommend that you blacklist him.

 

I had a situation where I did not have enough money. After apologizing for 5 minutes, I left my driver's license and cellphone as collateral and ran to the nearest ATM. An easy solution to an honest mistake.

 

Cheers,

AM

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Erin, this has happened to me as well from a regular. I thought he had left it on the bureau and did not realize his omission until about 20mins after he had gone. I called him to let him know and he stated that since he was on the highway already, could I wait until Monday (it was Wednesday) I said sure. Then he texted me and asked if I could meet him somewhere because coming back was out of his way! Anyhow....long stoty short....never did get the donation or even a courtesy call.

[lipualipua 4704]

I can't believe what I a reading! How can some men be so devoid of common decency? To all ladies, do not be shy to ask for the donation should a client intentionally or unintentionally ignore to provide it without being asked.

[quick25 137]

I think if this was any other profession their would be some sort of legal action to this. But again I don't know what it's like to be a SP, so I don't really know what it feels like. I'm sorry this happened to you. Never happened to me but I think leaving a phone or something while you go to get the money is a great idea. I have actually had the opposite experience I was once with a SP, left more money then I thought I gave her and she told me about it. I was shocked, and that's when I relized the trust that you can build up with a SP is so important.

[CaptJaG 299]

Ick, thats a terrible situation. Sorry to hear how little recourse there is, hopefully you SP's have a review board on your side of the site as well.

 

It really is a shame since like so many have said that this is an industry built on trust and interpersonal relationships :(

[Soleil Sublime 38108]

It's too bad you didn't take his wedding ring/cell phone/wallet etc. for 'safe-keeping' while he 'ran to the ATM'. Sigh. Live and learn, eh girl? ;)

[Guest c*****t]

While i totally understand and sympathise with you and find it apauling, this isnt the first time i have heard about this in the past 14 years of hobbying. Unfortunately , it does go both ways as well, i have had the same done to me by 3 different sp's in the past and 2 of them were regular, that is take the donation and jet off.....

at the end of the day, one thought that i find is an easy way of accepting, is that something worse will happen to them at some point, to evey action, there is an opposite reaction, and for 2 , something worse could always happen!!! but hang in there erin, there are alot of honest cerb'ist out here so you dont have to worry!!

[cat 262460]

I have had this happen in the past and in order to balance my mental check book I put it in the tithing column. I simply listed it as a charitable donation, listed the guest on my DNS list, put procedures in place to prevent it happening again and moved on. Do not take it personally, he would have done it anyone. Just don't waste another moment of your precious life giving it negative energy as that only hurts you and he is completely underserving of your energy, attention and time.

cat

[Sensual Erin 33928]

Thank you so much everyone. It's happened to us all and it made me feel so much better to hear your stories. It definitely happens on the other side too for the hobbyists. I have been around awhile and now as an independent and this is the first time this has happened. I've heard so many stories from the poor guys that found girls on CL. There are absolute nightmare stories out there, and am grateful I have my health and sanity intact and it was only by screening, screening, and more screening to insure the clients I met were reputable. I managed to stay safe as a result and what happened is minor compared to what I have heard. However, I am so pleased to now be a part of the Cerb community and starting fresh.

 

I'm a big fan of Megan's touch although we have never met, as well as Bethany. You are the top two ladies and my mission is to join you as an outstanding MA, with intelligent beauty, sophistication and integrity. ; )

 

My next post will be about any suggestions on pictures and will be playing with my camera tonight with a girlfriend to see what I come up with...: )

 

Cheers!

[JoyfulC 132299]

Do not take it personally, he would have done it anyone. Just don't waste another moment of your precious life giving it negative energy as that only hurts you and he is completely underserving of your energy, attention and time.

cat

 

Now THAT'S some truly excellent advice.

[Guest K****r De**xe]

Just terrible to hear! It goes against the grain of trust that both SP and hobbiests have devloped over the years. Business is business and should be out of the way so each party can enjoy the moment. No one has the right to waste anyones time as its the basis of the business.

 

Cheers

 

KD

[A***** A***** 510]

That sucks big time. Happened to me with a reg. Also had others show up and claim to forget their wallet. I ask them to show me, or leave a piece of ID, cell phone, watch etc for collateral. Most of the time they "confess" and pony up the money.

[fortunateone 156618]

If it makes you feel any better I've also been there and understand how you feel when you say that you felt used and violated. It's only natural to feel that way when you feel you've been taken advantage of. It sure will bring you back to reality quickly. Don't worry though, it only gets better from here. :smile:

 

Blacklisting the man would be the best idea that I've heard. I doubt the same man will try to contact you, but if he does, let him know that you won't play until he pays you what he owes plus interest...lol.

 

Everybody here has such great advice. Always get your donation up front Erin.

 

 

And even if he does, under a different email, well it won't take long for the OP to recognize him at the door and advise of the new pay-before-play policy. Plus this gentleman will be required to double the fee, to pay back for last time. It always comes as a shock to sps when a regular rips them off, but it shouldn't. Typically they do wait for the comfort level to increase before they play this game, and tho it is really NOT common, it happens often enough especially to new sps, that I sometimes wonder when the idea to allow post payment came along?

 

JUst curious, why had you made the habit of post payment. Did someone suggest this, or was this common in some way in where or how you were working? I've always been prepay, and know very few who are not. Even the envelope should be checked before the session, imo, since that is also a place where these disreputable guys will short change. Again, NOT commonplace, but it happens.

Also, never assume a board member of any forum is more legit or trustworthy than any other client. That is something a disreputable client will use to lure in unsuspecting sps.

 

'

Also noted a comment in post #19, "its happened to us all", and have to disagree. It has never once happened to me, giving service without payment, because I have never once done a session without prepayment. It is a simple problem with a simple solution -- as mentioned, sometimes asking to get the business out of the way, comes up with an excuse of forgot the wallet, in which case, you know if they don't then come up with some $$, then they intended to get the session without paying for it, going after the fact for the wallet and not returning. there is little incentive after the play for someone who is now no longer in need of attention to produce the compensation, lol.

[lovethegirls 127]

Yes, I have been ripped off twice. Should never happen. I know who the girls are and where to find them. But with the existing laws, our hands are (handcuffed) tied.

My father brought me up, to uphold my name. I don't hear that too often today.

I'm not going to ramble on about this, but it really does upset me to hear these stories. I just hope ALL the rip-offs get what's coming to them. Just wish I could hear about it. lol.

Let's all respect each other, and have fun, With no drama attached!

 

Additional Comments:

Yes, I have been ripped off twice. Should never happen. I know who the girls are and where to find them. But with the existing laws, our hands are (handcuffed) tied.

My father brought me up, to uphold my name. I don't hear that too often today.

I'm not going to ramble on about this, but it really does upset me to hear these stories. I just hope ALL the rip-offs get what's coming to them. Just wish I could hear about it. lol.

Let's all respect each other, and have fun, With no drama attached!

[VedaSloan 119179]

Well, at least you know it won't ever happen again because now you know to always get the money up front.

 

I think most of us have learned that lesson at some point. For me, it was a guy who I'd also seen before, and I forgot to get the fee upfront and then when I'm asking him for the fee before he leaves he tells me he only has enough for a half an hour, when he stayed for a full hour. I took whatever he had in his wallet (I think after all was said and done, I was out $60) and didn't book him again.