Guest al****s Report post Posted January 1, 2011 ?A girl can dream??I?ve always said that. I?ve always believed that without dreams, the passion we have inside has nowhere to go. Without dreams, what motivates us to achieve our goals and be a better person? Without dreams, how do we look to the future with excitement and desire? Dreams are like stars?you may never touch them, but if you follow them they will lead you to your destiny. But what if that destiny isn?t your dream at all? What happens when you realize that your dream isn?t going to happen? What happens when something you?ve worked for and embraced as such an important part of your life can?t be part of your life after all? Denial doesn?t work so well. It can help prolong the inevitable, but in the end, the outcome is the same. How do you pick yourself up, put a smile on your face and pretend that the dream you had really wasn?t that important? Do you try to just ignore the fact that it helped to complete who you are and try to move onto something else? Shattered dreams are not for the weak, they are not for the passive, they are not for the faint of heart. Shattered dreams are a test, they are a way of opening a new door when another closes. I just wish I knew what I wanted to see when opening that new door. alexis?xoxo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moonshine 399 Report post Posted January 2, 2011 To me, dreams are like lovers. Your passion for them ebbs and flows while the old ones that are no longer attainable still leave a lingering sting that are slowly managable with time. Sometimes there are spaces inbetween where you lack a passion, a dream, a lover; you need to stay hopeful since life is always changing and the failures or disappointments shape you into a better person. A new dream will come, they always do. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Two Thirty 1422 Report post Posted January 2, 2011 Very insightful -- and appropriate, considering it's New Year's Day, which a lot of us use to mark new beginnings. Myself I certainly wouldn't discourage anyone from having or even following one's dreams. After all, when married with the right mix of ambition, and drive, and smarts, etc., you raise the odds of actually realizing the dream. Of course, the spread on those odds are measured when the outcome depends not only on what you do, but also on the actions and decisions of others upon whom your dream depends. Henry David Thoreau probably put it best when in writing Walden he said, "If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours." That said, he also put a condition on how to realize one's dreams i.e. doing the work necessary to put the right foundation underneath those dreams in order to realize them. 'Pretty smart fella. And what if it can't be done? That's when you gotta learn to let go, so that you can move forward and not carry the baggage that would go with a "shattered dream." 'Definitely not always the easiest thing to do, especially if that "dream" was about a relationship, which I should point out depended on the action(s) of a partner. But as you implied, going for it but failing in the process is just one more piece of our lives that makes each of us unique. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lowdark 5613 Report post Posted January 2, 2011 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4x27RgBysc&feature=recentlik Additional Comments: The link doesn't seem to work but it was a youtube video for a new rock song that I though may offer some perspective (Die Trying by a group called Art of Dying). There's one very telling lyric about preferring to fail and knowing then dying without having tried. Hope everything is good. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest W***ledi*Time Report post Posted January 2, 2011 ... link doesn't seem to work ... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lowdark 5613 Report post Posted January 2, 2011 Saved by WrinkedinTime! I hope the message of the songs is conveyed though. Sometimes it's worth it to hold onto that dream forever. It's part of my personal philosophy and the thing is about dreams, what do you do when you catch them? I can't claim to know the source of Alexiss' post, but just maybe your dream is a touch out of reason right now for a reason. But that's no reason to think you won't catch it. Again, I hope everything works out for you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SamanthaEvans 166767 Report post Posted January 2, 2011 This is such an important question, alexiss. It sounds like you're dealing with pain and disappointment, which is never easy. For myself, I've found that it's important to have a direction I want to go, but not to get too locked into some of the details. Life will happen in spite of my best plans; if I can be flexible everything will go more easily. If the dream involves other people, though, and particularly if it involves specific people, I don't know how to ensure that dreams will come true. Sometimes it's better for us if things don't work out the way we might hope. People change, or we get to know them better and can find that what seemed like a good thing at one point just isn't going to work. We need to be careful about holding onto situations and relationships where our dreams, hopes and needs never seem to work out or take priority. Those relationships are often depleting and can also be abusive. The thing is never to quit hoping. Hope is a powerful force. If we let go of it too easily, we may cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to see our hope be made a reality. If you're feeling hopeless, that life is bleak, that you don't find pleasure in the things that used to delight you, talk to your doctor, please. These are symptoms of depression and depression can be helped, even cured, particularly if you take action before it's gone on too long. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted January 2, 2011 Everything I want to say is in this song. xoxo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Goldenboy 237 Report post Posted January 2, 2011 It is extremely difficult to pick yourself up and keep going. May I make a suggestion? Read this book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho It has sold millions worldwide and its all about set backs and picking yourself up to follow that dream. You can read the book in 3 or 4 hours and it is a gem. I have read the book at least 4 times.:-P Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kubrickfan 12836 Report post Posted January 2, 2011 Alexiss -- there is a lot going on in your initial post here. And there is a lot of good advice so far by the other posters ... take it seriously. You are obviously at a low point, but some thoughts that might assist a bit: 1. There is no one on this board, or in the world, that hasn't gone through what you are going through, so you are in very good company (smile). Having those feelings, or dreams and goals in your life that are never satisfied is part of being human. What makes life so interesting is that it is a roller coaster of sorts; you can't have the highs without the lows. 2. On Samantha Evans' post, if the dream involves another person, you might not have the level of control, or ability to achieve that dream, as you thought. And things will improve, probably faster than you think, as usually it is your own state of mind, rather than the outward facts, that really make you feel bad. Not always, but usually. And, notwithstandign the facts, you cant get out of that rut, please follow Samantha's advice and speak with someone who can help. 3. You can call them "shattered dreams," but they are most likely things that happen that you feel really strongly about and that are close to your heart. A number of people have commented that if you generally advance in the direction of your goals in life, you are doing the right thing, and that's absolutely correct. 4. I've taken some time to review a lot of your posts and you are obviously a very bright intelligent person. Dont forget to appreciate your own good qualities and what you have to offer. Keep your chin up as things are not as bad as they probably seem right now. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest al****s Report post Posted January 2, 2011 Thank you to everyone who posted and sent me PM's. I appreciate the support more than you know. I am doing well. Sometimes life has a way of trying to bring us down, but I've never been one to shy away from a challenge. I don't stay down for long! I'll figure out a way to deal and move on. My CERB friends are awesome! :D alexis...xoxo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest e**m***h Report post Posted January 2, 2011 For this and many other reasons you are an inspiration, beautiful Alexis. I admire your strength greatly. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pipercub 795 Report post Posted January 3, 2011 Alexiss it is obvious by the responses to this post and the comments on your messege board that you have made a lot of great friends. Your beauty, intellect and sincerety have inspired many. The friends one gathers through life's journey is a testament of ones worth and you are truly worthy. In the short while that you've been with us you have inspired many of us but none more than me. Your frienship was one of my highlights in 2010 and I look forward to seeing what is in store for 2011.:):):) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
newinwinnipeg 100 Report post Posted January 5, 2011 You ARE NOT your thoughts, your dreams, your emotions, your feelings. They are YOUR thoughts, dreams, emotions, feelings. That is a great difference and recognizing the difference is a great step to see that shattered dreams - are shattered dreams, not shattered you. When pilots are trained to deal with emergencies, instructors nail into them, "do not forget to fly the plane". There are countless examples of incidents which ended badly, because pilots started dealing with the blinking lights and stuff, and forgot to actually fly the plane - so don't forget to live your life. There is a nice book by a Buddhist teacher Taizan Maezumi, "Appreciate your life". The book is heavy on buddhist teachings, but first chapter is a gem for everyone dealing with great life transitions. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest al****s Report post Posted January 5, 2011 Life can be cruel...it keeps testing us. How we choose to deal with it is what matters... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PistolPete 61421 Report post Posted January 5, 2011 that life can be so cruel, in past I've been to too many funerals seeing loved ones buried or seeing another loved one battle through illness. I sometimes keep it bottled up inside, or at times open up and discuss about it. Either way is how each individual chooses how to deal with it. I find that these cruel invents in my life make me stronger and open my eyes to others that are also unfortunate, or even perhaps much more unfortunate in their life in different circumstances. Strength to you Alexiss, as you are awesome, passionate loving lady. Life can be cruel...it keeps testing us. How we choose to deal with it is what matters... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest jake_cdn Report post Posted January 12, 2011 Life can be cruel...it keeps testing us. How we choose to deal with it is what matters... As it has been written; "Life is what happens to us when we are busy making other plans" I know that it sounds like a cliche but the more that you think of it the more it is true. Life and goals are something that everyone has and needs. It is okay to be disappointed when your goal has yet to be achieved or if life throws you a curve. The point is life is about living it to the fulliest and taking the risks that it presented. Someone once said to me "Time heals all". I can't stand this saying but it unfortunately it is true. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
