Total disrespect and lack of judgment

[cumbychoice 1040]

Imagine this. You are waiting to be served at a local restaurant accompanied by your wife and a text comes in and you see ( hh special $80 bbbj included. ) Deleted instantly. Does anyone recognize this partial number. 613 902 7???. I am sure of the first six numbers , pretty sure of the 7 number and the last 3 digits something like 384 . area code is Belleville. please help me identify this caller

 

Additional Comments:

OK. Did a search on my phone records and bingo I found her number. Can I post her full number or am I looking for reprisal. On her BP ad she clearly mentions ( no blocked calls ) ////// will not make that mistake again, and I hope other SP MA read this and understand that some of us hobbyists require privacy also

[Phaedrus 209521]

This is one reason why it's good to get a burner phone for illicit activities such as this. I have one, and it's permanently turned off unless I'm actually using it... so this kind of thing simply wouldn't be a problem.

 

Reputable providers also understand that situations like this are a problem, which is why they won't respond to a text if they don't see it within some time limit (an hour or, maybe). Of course, sometimes they then get crap from clients because they didn't respond at all...

 

It's often good to say something like, "Please don't respond if you don't see this before 7", or "Safe to reply until 8:30" or something - that way there's no doubt on either side.

[drlove 37204]

That's unfortunate... As a rule of good etiquette, most providers do not send unsolicited texts, e-mails or call unannounced. In this hobby, discretion is paramount. Thankfully your wife didn't see it. I know it can be frustrating, but it could have been a lot worse...

[Guest Prufrock Cummings]

I recently received an unsolicited text from a provider I haven't seen in months (third one this year). I'm single, so it is of no concern to me, but what if in that time I had started to see someone? The text was full of suggestive talk and had I been seeing someone, it could have been damaging.

 

So, as Phaedrus suggested, a burner phone is probably the best way to go, and even though I am single, I am thinking that I should do the same.

[trout 1256]

I used to get texts out of the blue from the Asian agencies when they operated here and also from one SP who I'm guessing has retired. Annoying to see how stupid some people are discretion wise.

[cumbychoice 1040]

Thanks for the advise. looked into burner phone today. Seems to be my best safety nety

[Guest **ng***1]

I agree with Phaedrus, getting a burner phone is best, but then you may have to explain that if it's discovered. This is more common with SP's and MA's who are usually new. But if you continue to hobby, you will have to expect the possibility that this might happen. Maybe turn off your phone or at least put it on vibrate and keep it in the holster, not on the table. If you share your phone with your wife, then it's a smoking gun.

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

One suggestion if you don't want a separate phone is to get a pay as you go Sim card. Put the Sim card in when you want to play, take it out after. Easier to conceal.

 

The flip side of this, if in a relationship, delete your text history. It's an uncomfortable conversation when your wife calls and wants to know how long you've been seeing her man.

[NotchJohnson 214134]

Happened to me last summer, I live in the country and I have a big backyard with no neighbors close by, I come home one hot day after work and my wife is in the pool naked waiting for me to join her. I take my clothes off on the deck and jump in the pool, I'm enjoying my time with my wife. All of a sudden I hear a text come in, don't think anything about it, probably a customer looking for material(I get those often).

 

My wife is out of the pool and decide to check it for me. It's a traveling lady and she says something like this "I'm in Ottawa for the week come and see me I'm horny and I miss you" and her website attached to it. I have seen this lady many years ago and she does not come to Ottawa that often. Well my wife tells me her name and what is written on my phone, I act stupid like "are you kidding me, stop joking around, that is not nice", but all along I'm thinking here comes my balls and she can cut them off of me anytime now.

 

My wife goes ballistic with her and calls her all types of name that I can't repeat on here, I come out of the pool and try to calm her down a bit, she is wild but not mad at me, yet. She tells me that I should stop looking at porn on the computer and leaving my number on the internet, I accept this explanation and try to calm her down.

 

That girl starts calling me names too on texts and me like a sad puppy have to accept this until the next day were I emailed the lady in person and explain to her that what she did was not right and to not text me ever again. I learned my lesson and I'm more careful now with who I see and I will not see that provider anymore.

[Hukupp 1651]

Discretion SHOULD mean the same to any of us, but reality is that it doesn't, which ultimately leads me to think more carefully about my choice in provider. Best of all, wether one or two phones (or SIM as Meagan suggested), a time constraint window like Phaedrus mentioned is top notch (Johnson). Have a great day all!

[jg24 3708]

Well I use a text app now and it works well as you can mute it and still have reg phone or delete it and reinstall everyday if you want

 

That said this week I have had 3 reputable SP text 2 days after I text them ladies if you can't text sameday then please don't text 2 days later

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

Dammed if we do and fuc ked if we don't. ...

 

I'm not sure why this happened. I'm not in Ottawa. However I suspect this a universal issue. As a provider, I get texts of ....

 

Available?

 

Rates and services

 

Hey

 

And of course the dik pics.... oh please. Don't ever do that.

 

Of course those that inquire but don't delete their history and wives call to freak on me.

 

Discretion works both ways.

 

Cold texting without an inquiry is never ok. Even if it's a regular. Unless they specially asked to be put on a travelling schedule, I'm sorry for those that receive an unexpected text. It's not ok.

 

However, if I'm busy and see a text after. Is it OK 15 minutes after? An hour? 2 hours? 3 Hours? Next day? How do I know? I get replies of "I've been trying to contact you and you never reply".

 

Um... Maybe you contacted me outside of my business hours and don't want to disturb you. So I don't. Maybe I'm having technical difficulties and just now got your text. So I don't.

 

The reality is, if you want total discretion, you are responsible for setting the ground rules up front. Hobby phone, email address specifically for hobbying or call before set time. Let her know.

 

I'm sorry this happened. However, unless someone cold texted you.....I don't really buy the issue. It's an issue both ways. I get those that call or text outside my hours. I understand it and deal with it. I even had a regular show up at my place without an appointment. Can you imagine? Shit happens both ways.

 

Sorry for venting. Xo

[WhereIRoam 21825]

@MM No need for "Sorry for venting." It's good to let thoughts out sometimes and you didn't do it in a disrespectful manner. I get the "Shit happens both ways." this seems to apply to a number of things both sides of the industry deal with, it comes with the turf.

 

I would have to assume that Providers have a separate phone for the industry part of their lives. No, Providers being texted off working hours is not approved unless the Provider has given you the okay to do so. I agree that unless someone sending you a text and not mentioning a window of when the message can be replied to that Providers are "damned if they do and damned if they don't".

 

Prufrock Cummings mentioned Burner phones, these are great for both sides of the industry. Like him, I too am single but what type of reaction would you get if you received an obvious industry related text when you slipped away and left your phone for a minute, like using the bathroom for example, while in the company of a date or family and they should happen to see it? We need to be cautious, all of us. Punters need to be clear in regards to when a text can be returned and Providers need to not reply after a certain amount of time. What is that time if a window on return time wasn't mentioned? For me I'd say an hour but every Punter has a different time-frame so what is correct? I see the issue here for Providers.

 

Clarity is key!

WIR

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Awesome post! Meagan

[cumbychoice 1040]

Thanks to all for the advise. For now I will only deal with providers that accept blocked calls, and if they wont , move on to those that do, A hunting I will go

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

If I get a text whether it's from someone I know or don't know, I won't text back after 20 minutes. Sometimes I'm busy or not available and can't answer right away.

 

If you don't want a provider to text you back after a long time has passed or simply out of the blue, tell them you can reached until such and such a time and after that, please don't call or text back. If they can't follow those instructions, then that is a huge red flag right there.

[HarleyMay 2108]

Personally I broke my crystal ball long time ago...I get crap all the time for not answering text even if I mention in ad that I am not available 24/7. I do have a other job and a life. I got people power texting me or calling sometime even if I did not post in 5 days. Please tell us if you don't wont us to text back or to do so. I don't know if your single or not and personally my cell is lock and nobody touch it unless I give theme permission. So yes before I saw a few tread about this I did not really think about that. I kind of find it weird ... I don't go trow my guy cell unless he ask me to look up something or text will is driven ...but yes it open relationship so we have nothing to hide !

[Phaedrus 209521]

Like him, I too am single but what type of reaction would you get if you received an obvious industry related text when you slipped away and left your phone for a minute, like using the bathroom for example, while in the company of a date or family and they should happen to see it?

 

Who the hell goes to the bathroom without their phone these days?

 

In fact, what on earth did we do in bathrooms before we all had cellphones?

[WhereIRoam 21825]

Who the hell goes to the bathroom without their phone these days?

 

In fact, what on earth did we do in bathrooms before we all had cellphones?

 

Haha, is that said tongue in cheek?

I never bring my phone into the bathroom with me even when I shower, never. Too close to water and whoever calls or messages while I'm in there can wait 2-15 mins.

 

WIR

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Haha, is that said tongue in cheek?

I never bring my phone into the bathroom with me even when I shower, never. Too close to water and whoever calls or messages while I'm in there can wait 2-15 mins.

 

WIR

 

 

I'm guilty of doing that to the point where it could have gotten wet.. Sometimes I feel the phone is almost as though it's glued to my forehead. I am old enough to remember life without cell phones lol.

[Honey Man 12759]

Its very important to protect ones privacy. I have a password on my phone that kicks in after a minute. Very irritating but worth it for the safety it provides. Also my phone is set up not to display the first bit of any new txt that comes in. By default my phone would show say unknown number and then a txt message that perhaps I do not want anyone to read. I found the setting to turn that feature off and now it just shows up unknown number. And if I want to enter a number as a contact in my phone I use a coded system.

[NotchJohnson 214134]

The ladies that I keep in touch with do have a code on my phone, they have a male name that is close to their real name and because I communicate with them once in a while they know to ask a specific question and not "$*** for a bbbj and $*** for the hr.

 

That way I never have to worry about my wife finding out.

[ottawaloverboy 350]

You probably texted her at one point and deleted the conversation and she was just getting back to you.

[cumbychoice 1040]

More than likely, but 2 weeks later with an introduction like special $80 hh bbbj included. .I know her # and she better use better common sense

[WhereIRoam 21825]

After news was released this week of the recent assault and robbery case in Ottawa where a SP called in a male friend who committed the acts, maybe considering a Burner phone is a good option for those who don't already use one. Text apps can be traced if you know how. She has turned herself in.

 

What is stopping LE from going through her phone to view text history of other potential clients. Just a thought.

 

WIR