Just because nobody is immune to get into a wheelchair and still have sex!

[Loralee Reach 245]

Written by Tiffiny Carlson

?You mean your ass isn?t superglued to your chair?!? I always laugh when children ask (and even some really stupid adults) how I dress, bathe, shower, sleep, or . Sex and having babies is the last thing they?d ever think of asking, so that awkward moment never occurs (thank god). But if you haven?t guessed by now, I strongly believe these uninformed kids and ignorant adults really, truly think that the wheelchair is somehow adhered to our bodies, like it?s like somehow a third tiny baby arm that once belonged to your dead fetus twin and had to be removed at birth; as if it were superglued to you.

Umm?hello? I?m not superglued to this thing, people. I just sit in it because my legs don?t work. Honest!

And this is where the fun part (I mean ?having sex? portion) of this article comes in.

Use it or lose it baby, and ?Hells no!? to people reading this, this chair is not stuck to my ass. I can get out, sprawl out on my bed naked, and even get it on if I damn well please

 

 

I can get out, sprawl out on my bed naked, and even get it on if I damn well please

 

 

 

 

 

, thank you very much.

Just think of my chair as a very expensive, and albeit, strange ?accessory.?

Walking is not by any means underrated and I miss it like hell. Walking truly is a privilege, but in the meantime, you simply must, MUST, move on; and part of moving on and acting like a ?normal? human, is having a healthy sex life.

If having a disability is old or new news to you, know this: Many able-bodied people are going to automatically assume you really never leave your chair.

They might even think you sleep in it (rofl). So you?re now the stereotype breaker and as this - as a woman who uses a wheelchair - this needs to become part of your responsibility in life. And please, for the love of the gods, don?t get overly offended if some guy thinks you?re asexual, can?t orgasm, or that you?re infertile. Just use this annoying ignorant thought as a way to educate the public.

The Sex.

Having sex if say, your legs don?t listen to you (aka they?re paralyzed), or if you don?t have legs at all, can definitely be a bit tricky. I know you?ve seen your fair share of raunchy comedies making fun of amputee women or women who use wheelchairs having sex, and the audiences will laugh oafishly. But is this really funny? Umm?no. It?s called bad writing. It?s too easy to poke fun of people with physical impairments. Lazy writers in Hollywood trying to make a buck will resort to making fun of people with physical disabilities. As a writer myself, this makes me respect them about as much as that fingernail I just clipped off a second ago. They can bite me.

Women with disabilities are still beautiful no matter what kind of ?background noise? they might have going on. I could list off at least a dozen women with disabilities I know personally right now that are prettier than most women in this country. The point of all of this? Yes, we are still shaggable. Get used to it. Now onto some tips:

- It?s all about the positioning. Be prepared to know that it?ll take more effort (and may result in a softer penis as a result. Most men can?t deal, at first, with all the extra work) to find the exact position for (dare I say it?) ?entry.? It can be a lot of work. But also, if you stick to the ?Missionary? position, it may not be. Experiment. Oh, and pillows help too.

- Lube is your new best friend. After an SCI for example, female lubrication can be a harder thing to achieve. ?Astroglide? is a popular choice, but it?s far from the ?Holy Grail? of lube. KY?s ?Silk? is pretty spectacular too. Oh, and make the guy buy all of these things, k? Afterall, you?re letting him into your boudoir.

- ?Durex? condoms may be the thinnest and may feel the best for both parties, but they WILL much break easier than any other brand. So be careful. Rushing to get the ?Plan B? pill the next day is not a fun way to spend any morning. The ?Trojan? brand, I feel, is your best, strongest, bet.

- Hormones for BC. A lot of docs warn against SCI girls, or chair-using girls, using the ?Pill,? the Depo shot, or any other kind of hormone-based birth control because of our higher risk of blood clots. And they?re right. It can happen. But, it varies from woman to woman. I was on the ?Pill? for 10 years straight and had no problem. But I know another female quad who got a blood clot that nearly killed her because of the ?Pill.? Again, just use at your own discretion. - And yes (ok, most of you), you can still get preggers. So don?t think otherwise, have unprotected sex, and then end up paralyzed and pregnant like a friend of mine did (oops?and she had the baby btw, and kept it). Family planning if you have a significant disability needs to be taken much more seriously. Being in a chair AND being a mom can work, but believe me when I say this: It?s a lot harder. I?ve seen it in-person.

- And finally, be confident and don?t be afraid to dress sexy. Most men will tell you there?s nothing sexier than a woman with confidence. Even if you have to fake it, do. It?ll pay off threefold. I guarantee it.