Clients and excuses when attending a certain type of establishment ?!

[trout 1256]

I think a number of us guys want to avoid going home to the SO smelling like the perfume counter at Sears so we don't do the cr. However, stopping at KFC and bringing a bucket home can camoflage the heavy perfume odor and most SOs hate the chicken too lol

[TheDivaChanel917 6917]

Just saw this thread and it's a good one, keep them coming DivaChanel!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I haven't put out relationship status as an excuse but I have used the "waiting for a dancer" excuse. I don't mind being honest but I do feel like it either wouldn't come through in a gentle manner I would intend it to, or it may hurt a dancer's feelings/self image considering the highly competitive nature of the environment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If it's during slow time and there aren't many dancers, maybe the customer doesn't see anything that suits his taste? Also the view is quite different than at a normal bar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I agree with CarpeDiem, better to have some butts in the seats drinking beer than dancing for an empty club.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I actually want to have a conversation with a dancer for 5-10 minutes before asking her for a dance. You get a feel for the style of a dancer (being portraied or actual) and the dancer gets an impression of the client. I've found that awkward conversation leads to awkward dances and meshing well on the floor leads to a better time for both myself and the dancer in the CR.[/QUOT

 

I really like all your responses and thank you I will try to think of more things for discussions !!

 

 

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[Kilt Boy 29353]

I really like all your responses and thank you I will try to think of more things for discussions !!

If you show up at my table next time with a bunch of conversation cards, I'm going to laugh so hard.

[TheDivaChanel917 6917]

If you show up at my table next time with a bunch of conversation cards, I'm going to laugh so hard.

 

 

 

I promise I won't do that , well I mean if you want me to prepare some cue cards I can do that ?! Lol don't make me laugh it's way to early in the morning for me but I am in a good mood lately I think because my birthday is coming up and I'm having quite a good week. But don't tempt me on it , I may pass by and be like wanna have a discusión kilt boy? ;)

 

 

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[CarpeDiem 2514]

Don't be ridiculous, Kilt Boy, this is the digital age, DivaChanel'l have a teleprompter!

[ottawaloverboy 350]

I clap every time unless I'm busy paying for beer.

I do find it hard I clap sometimes as it's been a long time since I've seen anyone put on a decent stage show.

 

Note: getting on stage, twirling on the pole once or twice and then barely moving does not consist of a stage show.

[Kilt Boy 29353]

My momma taught me that if a woman is taking her clothes off and performing for you, you smile and clap. Good show or no.

[TheDivaChanel917 6917]

My momma taught me that if a woman is taking her clothes off and performing for you, you smile and clap. Good show or no.

 

 

 

Amen to that I don't think a lot of people realize that it takes a lot for some girls to do this job.

 

 

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[Guest pagypie]

its uncomfortable to be the rejector or rejectee

 

typically, i honestly have said i was waiting for someone. but sometimes i've lied and used that as an excuse as well. in my mind it's just easier and nicer than saying "sorry you're not my type".

 

as for those that go to the bar and not take dances, i feel its a gap between customers and dancers. dancers understand that private dances are their only source of income. i assume most customers don't know this and assume dancers are receiving an hourly wage...which i still feel is ridiculous that they do not receive a wage. the club is profiting off the fact that customers are choosing this club because of the dancers being there meanwhile the dancers are trying to make sales.

[ottawaloverboy 350]

Massage places offer only massages. No free shows on stage. Thus the reason for the name. Strip clubs offer stripping. The problem is they offer it for free and VIP room dances are not mandatory. This hurts dancers.

 

That being said I find it very hard to believe that a dancer will ever go a whole shift without making any money. There's always somebody willing to go for dances. If not then maybe the club isn't bringing in enough people.

 

Offer drink specials. Have a buffet. Keep the club clean and renovated. Improve on the quality of the entertainment. The club I go to regularly as taken a bit of a shit lately.

[MeganDancer 3675]

I have to admit : i hate when asked to sit down , talk , and the guy doesn't take me for dances . Because i hate talking too ... I feel like you took advantage of my time and efforts, talking to someone you wouldn't talk on the streets is exhausting, it's happening a lot lately ( why are you guys doing this ?)

 

I noticed this month is slow so guys are "playimg games" - what do you do when you dance - can i toutch your pu****- and asking ridiculously personal question ( this guy asked me if i have kids , and why not ? .... Another one telling me his sister couldn't have kids and she got in vitro etc ( this is suppsed to be sexy time wtf !?!)

 

Guys who come to play games , and ask uncomfortable questions , and make it seem like its an interview : keep your friggin 20$ , you need it more than i do

 

So yes most of us hate talking , i know i do . I have questions that trigger me : who cares where im from where i live and if i have a boyfriend. When a guy ask too much questions , i leave . I spend maximum 5 minutes talking and if the discussion is leaning thowards asking extras or personal matters im done .

 

You might think : "oh why she rather be alone than sitting and talking to me : YES !

 

The best is : when they say theyre waiting for someone but you know they re not ... They dont take anyone in the back , don t eat , and leave . Then why are you here?

[TheDivaChanel917 6917]

Massage places offer only massages. No free shows on stage. Thus the reason for the name. Strip clubs offer stripping. The problem is they offer it for free and VIP room dances are not mandatory. This hurts dancers.

 

 

 

That being said I find it very hard to believe that a dancer will ever go a whole shift without making any money. There's always somebody willing to go for dances. If not then maybe the club isn't bringing in enough people.

 

 

 

Offer drink specials. Have a buffet. Keep the club clean and renovated. Improve on the quality of the entertainment. The club I go to regularly as taken a bit of a shit lately.

 

 

 

That being said about taking dances isn't mandatory I have been to fannys in the northbay area and it is at least a 3 song minimum of dances if you go in the champagne room which I liked but your right clubs aren't mandatory for dances although why is it that it is one drink minimum mandatory to be allowed to stay in the club ? I have seen clients order one drink and stay in there for hours ? How is that a fair deal I think all clubs should be dances mandatory requirement to be able to stay in the club even if you take one or two dances and or with one of the ladies you feel like spending on it ! I can't stand the newer generations of the strip clubs.

 

 

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[ottawaloverboy 350]

I have no problem saying no you can't sit down I don't want to waste your time

If I am not going to take any dances that day.

 

Some dancers appreciate that. Some get pissy and move on. Doesn't bother me.

 

I guess Megan's issue with customers getting personal affects everyone. Not just customers. When I'm upstairs. I don't wanna hear about the rent being due or your ex leaving you with tons of bills etc....all kinds of special people out there. On both sides. Dancer and client.

 

Additional Comments:

I haven't been there in years. It can be a good rule but not so great in some cases.

What happens if you get up there and the guy stinks or is rude. Then you're on the hook to give him 3 songs.

 

On the customer side: if the dancer doesn't dance well. Or dances 4 feet away. Or talks the whole time, I'm not interested in staying for 3 songs.

[TheDivaChanel917 6917]

I have to admit : i hate when asked to sit down , talk , and the guy doesn't take me for dances . Because i hate talking too ... I feel like you took advantage of my time and efforts, talking to someone you wouldn't talk on the streets is exhausting, it's happening a lot lately ( why are you guys doing this ?)

 

 

 

I noticed this month is slow so guys are "playimg games" - what do you do when you dance - can i toutch your pu****- and asking ridiculously personal question ( this guy asked me if i have kids , and why not ? .... Another one telling me his sister couldn't have kids and she got in vitro etc ( this is suppsed to be sexy time wtf !?!)

 

 

 

Guys who come to play games , and ask uncomfortable questions , and make it seem like its an interview : keep your friggin 20$ , you need it more than i do

 

 

 

So yes most of us hate talking , i know i do . I have questions that trigger me : who cares where im from where i live and if i have a boyfriend. When a guy ask too much questions , i leave . I spend maximum 5 minutes talking and if the discussion is leaning thowards asking extras or personal matters im done .

 

 

 

You might think : "oh why she rather be alone than sitting and talking to me : YES !

 

 

 

The best is : when they say theyre waiting for someone but you know they re not ... They dont take anyone in the back , don t eat , and leave . Then why are you here?

 

 

 

I completely agree. With every thing you just stated! The best is when they say their not taking any dances or they are just relaxing maybe later come and see me , and not even 2 mins after I leave their upstairs with another girl. That's how I realize I'm not their type or he's just a pure ass and can't be honest.

 

I've also tried approaching clients and not even before I get to the table the guys already telling me to talk to the hand and basically not interested but not even giving me a chance to introduce myself ... like WTF is that all about excuse my language but that's pretty rude.

 

With most clients I can tell when they like the chocolate ladies , and I'm pretty comfortable helping out one of them beautiful ladies. I have one client that actually compensates me for finding him a chocolate lady. And if he likes her dances afterwards I'm guaranteed more compensation for my time sitting and chatting but without dances even if the girl is making a lot of money from him I'm making a good amount too. Those were the days when clients were respectful and understood the job we have to do but I don't think these days they quite get it. I'm not sure if I'm making sense.

 

I'm not a fan of the 19 to 25 year old guys , because they usually go for one or two dances and they are so rude and obnoxious when drinking. Although I have had a good share of young ones that actually know how to tip the dancers on top of the owning amount in champagne room dances which I like and quite surprised most older gentlemen don't even do that.

 

Think about it guys? You spend 200$ it wouldn't hurt to buy the lady a drink or if she doesn't drink and the drink may cost 10$ would it hurt to just give her the 10$ instead of the drink. And make that as a tip.

 

But MeganDancer I like your post !!! Thanks for getting involved in my discussion :) Happy Fishing today !

 

 

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[MeganDancer 3675]

Also a message to time wasters: we all talk to each other .... If you made me waste my time ill tell all the other girls , so you won't enjoy anyone's else free time

 

We are smart too lol , we don't and won't allow guys free good time , our company and bad jokes .

 

Additional Comments:

For me , its the older gentlemans that i find rude , over 60 some are entitled ( i can tell by their snobbing attitude nose im the air kind of thing ) if a guy DARES to shoosh me , ill be the worst leech he ever encounter. Don't ever ever do this to me or I'll accidentally spill your beer all over , ill also make sure you don't see my pu*** on stage

 

Trust me , we can make your day hard if you are hard to us lol ( spray you with heavy perfume , a big kiss on the cheek with red permanent lipstick)

 

The bad and cheap clients are well known ...

[ottawaloverboy 350]

Lol. The 19 to 25 crowd. Spending this week's grocery money 1-2 dances at a time.

The older guys seem to also brush off any dancer that isn't their regular girl. Or as they like to call them: my girlfriend.

[CarpeDiem 2514]

Mostly I agree, but I beg to differ on two of your comments:

 

The best is when they say their not taking any dances or they are just relaxing maybe later come and see me , and not even 2 mins after I leave their upstairs with another girl.

 

As I said earlier, I simply don't consider it polite to say to a dancer, "Sorry, you're not my type". So, I'm sorry if it ticks you off, but I WILL use a white lie of one form or another. I just don't like saying "Thanks for coming over, but I've got the hots for Gertrude, and you're not my type." Also, men don't think that much with our big head, so we change our minds a lot. I could really mean "come back and see me later", and then two minutes later be seized with a compulsion to go upstairs with Gertrude. Forgive me, I'm human! ;-)

 

I've also tried approaching clients and not even before I get to the table the guys already telling me to talk to the hand and basically not interested but not even giving me a chance to introduce myself ... like WTF is that all about excuse my language but that's pretty rude.

 

I hope I've never done this rudely, but on my part, I know you're there to make money, and I don't want to waste your time. I feel bad if I engage you in casual chit chat for two minutes, and THEN tell you I'm not taking you for dances. So I frequently tell ladies right away when they come up to me that I won't be dancing with them today, in the hope that they'll have better luck at the next table.

 

So on this one, I'm going to say that you ladies are being a little unfair. On the one hand, you're complaining that men are saying "no" too quickly. On the other hand, Megan is unloading on time wasters! Can I take away the impression that us men can't win?

 

I want all you dancers to have a big meeting, and decide on EXACTLY how long a man should chat with you to be polite, but then let you know that he won't be taking you for any dances. Let us know, and we'll bring stopwatches! ;-)

 

And last, on the topic of a "three dance minimum" to go to a club. I think this would be extremely unfair. There are times when I just want to have a couple of beers, and relax, and enjoy the sight of you beautiful women. On a couple of occasions a lady has even sat and chatted with me, although I've told her I won't be dancing. That immediately moves her to the top of my list for the next time I'm there for dances.

 

Any club that tries to force me to take ladies for dances before they let me in will definitely have seen the last of me!

[MeganDancer 3675]

Hearthbreaker megan : but guys , we have excuses too to refuse dances and to get away

 

Just like carpediem mentionned: white lies

 

I often "lie in white" to NOT dance or sit with guys i know that: they're so ugly that would give me nightmares ( shit did i said that yes i did) , they gross me out or we have "multicultural" desagrememts

 

And of course we have to lie "sorry i got someone waiting for me " as opposed to "darling ill need therapy after dancing for you "

 

So it goes both ways

[TheDivaChanel917 6917]

Lol. The 19 to 25 crowd. Spending this week's grocery money 1-2 dances at a time.

The older guys seem to also brush off any dancer that isn't their regular girl. Or as they like to call them: my girlfriend.

 

 

 

That's the term I like to use with the regular gentlemen that come for their regular girl lol girlfriend they think I'm quite funny when I use that term lol

 

 

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[Kilt Boy 29353]

To sum up:

 

Dancers dance with whomever they want and discourage the others. Unless they don't. Some dancers are less restrictive than others and will dance with anyone.

 

Patrons choose who they want to dance with and should discourage any dancer they don't want to waste the time of. Unless she just wants to chat. Unless you don't want her to.

 

Etcetera.

 

It isn't black and white.

 

You can't say what will work or what is the best method because it is all about the interaction. No 2 people are going to interact the same. People are people, not machines. Emotions are a huge variable as well as each person's goals and ideals. None of this is news.

 

What I've found works the best is to look the other person in the eyes for a full second to make a clear connection and take your time while making a deliberate and measured, polite response.

 

If you really are waiting for someone, say so. If you are just in for a beer, say so. If you think you might get some dances later, say so but don't make any promises. If you want to be left alone, say so politely. Let her know if you're interested, offer her a drink, and let her know if it doesn't look promising.

 

If he says he wants to be left alone but dances with someone else, don't be upset. He changed his mind or was simply MORE interested in someone else. It could be preference, it could be that her kung fu is stronger than yours. It could be her choice of footwear. It doesn't mean he LIED to you. I mean, maybe he did, but is it worth it to you to stay angry and ruin your whole day? Shake it off and try again.

 

I have a preference and will turn down ladies who I find very attractive, but just don't feel like taking upstairs. However, if the third non-preferred girl asks me and the girl I want is really busy with someone else, I might say yes. I might track/flag down one of the others. Who can say? Not everyone is like me. Some restrict themselves to one girl only.

 

I just don't think it's productive to try to make a flowchart out of the possible scenarios. The variables are too many and too unpredictable.

 

However, be polite, respectful, and put on a fucking smile. You have no idea how much love I get with just those few things. That goes for both sides.

 

I actually believe in honesty. Not BRUTAL honesty, but the truth of the moment. I may say, "Sorry, but it just isn't in the cards for us today" instead of, "Jesus, back off the body spray a bit".

 

Oh, and maybe try some deodorant.

[emoji13]

[Boomer6570 1050]

And yet I have encountered dancers that like to talk with me--as well as those who definately do not.

 

I have spent hours in conversation with one well reviewed dancer on this forum. The reason is we have a particular interest in common. That is one trick, find a subject that the dancer is interested in. Yes , I have bought dances from her and drinks for her, several times.

 

Some dancers have or are taking college or university courses. I have too and that can be lead to interesting discussions on what we have learned.

 

Most convos I have had with dancers take place during slow times at the club. Early on I mention two things, 1) if I should ask a personal question that you do not wish to answer-say so . No offence taken and we will just move on to something else.If you ask me something I do not want to answer, the same rule will apply. 2) Even though the club is slow now, if you spot someone who has come in and you want to approach to make money, break off our conversation and go check him out. We can resume another time if we both want to.

 

Another tip for guys--do not offer advice to the dancer unless/until she asks for it. Men see themselves as problem solvers and tend to jump in with unasked for advice. Women don't like that. Women will seek advice only from someone they have grown to like, respect, trust.

An example. A well known veteran dancer that I have engaged at clubs for a couple of years (talked to, bought dances from and drinks for) has done well. She has now started to put money into the stock market. She knows I am a long time DIY investor. I have never ever suggested that that I can or want to give her any advice. I am not a pro and not qualified to give pro advice. Yet twice in the past month she has approached me, told me what she has done so far, and asked me to explain a couple of things to her. I did not ask for this confidence.

 

Chat up dancers? Men should read. Books such as "Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus" or "He Says , She Says" . They are eye openers and explain how men and women use language differently and how that leads to endless misunderstandings; some of which are avoidable if you know the rules.

 

Try to be a gentleman and never a drunken lout.

[CarpeDiem 2514]

No, I want the dancers to have that big meeting, sort it out between them, and let us men know the results. Hop to it! :-P

[Kilt Boy 29353]

No, I want the dancers to have that big meeting, sort it out between them, and let us men know the results. Hop to it! :-P

Are we talking about Jell-O wrestling again?

 

Because I'm all for that.

DIBS ON BEING REFEREE!

[CarpeDiem 2514]

Okay, you can ref, but I want to coach one of the teams. I pick "skins".

[Guest pagypie]

if I'm not interested and a dancer asks to sit I will answer that she can join but I was waiting for someone/just staying for drinks.

 

most of the time they appreciate. a couple times they sat anyway and I enjoyed the conversation. only once I can recall that she sat anyway and was still annoyed when I didn't go for dances but I have to plea innocent that time.