Loan or advance payment

[leonup 220]

A SP contacted me asked if I can send her some advance payment as she seems to have a bit of cash flow issue. I sent her more than she needed without question as I have seems her multiple times before. I enjoyed her company and happy to help her out.

 

To make a long story short, we exchanged few messages but then all communication stopped. I sent her follow-up messages couple of weeks later but received no reply. I saw her postings in a review board so I know she is ok.

 

Obviously I am disappointed, not mad but felt a bit of betrayed. Well, life goes on and I wish her well.

 

However, I do wonder if something like this happen often and how do you deal with sitution when one of your regular ask you for a loan or advance payment?

[WhereIRoam 21825]

I went through something similar two weeks ago. A regular SP contacted me wanting to know if I could make an arrangement with her. She obviously doesn't claim her income and is struggling with being able to own a reliable vehicle. It's not a matter of having bad credit, she simply has no credit. It's not that I have no trust in her or feel she is up to no good in regards to this but I opted to not help at this time. I guess I wasn't willing to take the risk. I'm certain I was not the first person asked to this for an SP nor will I be the last. Perhaps I simply need time to get to know her a little longer.

 

WIR

[Guest Prufrock Cummings]

This has happened to me before. I prepaid for four sessions to help out an SP and she promptly retired shortly after. I never received a single session, but I certainly learned a good lesson.

[jafo105 39057]

I also had a similar experience a couple of years ago. A lady contacted me wanting to borrow money because she was behind in her rent and had recently broken up with her boyfriend. Since I had only met her once months earlier for an social date. I declined to help her. She continued to contact me off and on for about a year and talked about all the drama going on in her life. I am a nice guy (a gentleman) so it took a lot before I put my foot down and said "Enough!" I think she eventually moved away and her website is now gone.

 

As much as we want to get lost totally in the fantasy. We have to remember that this is a business arrangement. There are boundaries there for a reason. We have to find a healthy and safe balance and still keep it a fun and enjoyable experience for both people involved.

[Boomer 33202]

It's like any loan, I've lent money before to ladies in the business always with my belief that I could afford loose it knowing that not everyone is credit worthy. You indicated it was an advance so looks like her actions indicate she will not be honoring her part of the bargain. If the lady pays back as soon as she's able that is great, but if the repayment keeps getting put off it's a pretty good indication you should accept the loss and move on.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Clients come to visit to get away and relax not to be bothered with someone else's money troubles. Imo I find that very unprofessional to ask a client for an advance or a loan. Why is this a client's problem?

 

Sometimes people try to guilt other people into things when it's really not their place anyways. Clients are not atm machines at another's disposal.

 

You may as well cut your losses and move on.

[frednorth470 3830]

This happens a lot. You aren't the first and definitely won't be the last. The only question you have to ask yourself is, when another asks what are you going to say.

[mrgreen760 37785]

Been asked and responded..never..ever and moved on

 

MG

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

Never been asked by a lady I've met on here but if I was asked to help her out financially I would either say no or just give her some extra money, but not as a loan, and only a few hundred likely since I wouldn't expect it back.

 

I have personal loan experience outside this industry. I financially helped one person get a small business off the ground. Although my presence was a constant reminder I never regularly discussed the money as they were struggling. They would bring it up occasionally and I would say just do what you can. I was paid back 7 years later, no interest. Another was an employee who wanted money to buy a used car and would pay me back with her tax return. I patiently waited 5 years but eventually received all my money, no interest. I was prepared to let these loans go and consider them charitable acts. The thing is, both these people were decent and trustworthy but they rationalized why my loan could be postponed. It was also an interesting experiment in human behavior. I saw them regularly but I never brought it up on my own. I was fully expecting to eventually call this a gift when I "loaned" the money. After so much time went by I was surprised to be repaid.

 

I just loaned another employee money so she could buy her first home. I put a pay back of 5 years. She also is a valuable employee. We'll see what happens in 5 years. In her case I will benefit by keeping her on-board as an employee, at least until the loan is paid back.

 

FYI, I'm not wealthy but my house is paid for and I have savings/investments. Also, I knew these people well and wanted to make a difference in their lives.

 

In the end, any money you loan should ultimately be considered a gift. If you can't afford to do that, don't loan the money.

[leonup 220]

That is very nice of what you do for your employee Steve. You are a business owner, so from the employees point of view, you are rich. ;) I guess there was the reason of no interest. :rolleyes:

 

Never been asked by a lady I've met on here but if I was asked to help her out financially I would either say no or just give her some extra money, but not as a loan, and only a few hundred likely since I wouldn't expect it back.

 

....

 

In the end, any money you loan should ultimately be considered a gift. If you can't afford to do that, don't loan the money.

 

Agreed. I would be happy to help and give her the money if she asked. LOL

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

LOL. Good call, Leonup. I guess I sometimes need someone to put things in perspective. Usually it's my wife though! :)

[Katherine of Halifax 113932]

I would never ask a client for money if I had no food for a week. Clients visit for a fun and uncomplicated time. Usually they have enough stress in their lives . We should never bother them.

[clearlycanadian7583 1199]

Never been asked, but i have prepaid for the next sessions once. A few years ago an SP i had been seeing regularly for sometime (every month or two for a little under two years) was robbed in late August. She had bruises all over her upper arms and what look like a somewhat healed black eye. She is a single parent and late august is an expensive time. After the session i sent her an Etransfer. I was repaid and given an extra hour. It wasn't alot of money since she was giving me a very very generous discount.

 

We were also friends often she would ask me to move my appointment to later in the day so we could just hangout afterw. Often i would book 2 hours and stay for 3 or 4. We would just mostly chat over a glass of wine or a cup of coffee in our extra time.

 

Prepaying has crossed my mind once or twice in the past, my work is very seasonal and at the end of my busy season i often find myself alittle flush. I have considered paying for my encounters for fhe next few months. Never have but the thought has crossed my mind.

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[dread pirate roberts 4036]

I would never ask a client for money

 

Katherine, this made me smile when it reminded me of a visit with you where this was *literally* true! Only after I left did it occur to either of us that we had forgotten that particular part of the encounter! I had to make a special trip back, despite your protestations to the contrary.