Kilt Boy 29353 Report post Posted August 8, 2017 I was talking to one of my regular dancer friends and she mentioned something that troubled me. I've talked here about it before, which is why I probed her further for more information so I could relate her position. I had been in on a previous occasion and bought her a drink, as I usually do. I know what she wants and had it ready for her. She did her stage act and came to say hello quickly, took the drink and said that she'd be back. She never came back. I noticed her at the bar with another patron. She never left his side, nor went to the fun room. They both stayed at the bar, drinking and talking. It didn't make me angry. I figured she knew what she was doing and knew I was around if she had time for me. A couple of hours later, she had changed and left the club. We're pretty tight, so I know that she didn't suddenly decide that she didn't want to spend time with me. There was something else going on. I asked her about it the next time we were together and she explained that she wasn't sure what to do about the situation either. This was a regular customer who paid her for her time. It was "for sure" money. If she was walking the floor, that was "maybe" money. She remembered that I had bought her a drink and said that her patron had gotten upset that she spent those 2 minutes with me during his time. He was jealous of her when they were both in the same room. He watched her like a hawk when she had to go to the bathroom and made her stand outside the men's when he had to go so that she wasn't too far away. That's creepifying on a whole different level. I told her about another dancer friend I know who had to "fire" a patron and that that may be something worth considering. Refusing to take his money/business may be the best option available to her. That conversation would quickly turn ugly and could have some very predictable and nasty secondary effects: angry outbursts, violence, screaming, stalking, etc. Still, it is my position that if you are afraid FOR ANY REASON, you should break off an engagement/appointment. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Studio 110 by Sophia 150333 Report post Posted August 8, 2017 Wow ya! That is creepy. I am a former dancer and if anyone treated me this way I would fire him too! The money today is not worth the value tomorrow of it becomes a problem. Recently I had to gently remove myself from a client, as It was an uncomfortable arrangement for me. Although was a nice guy, other issues made it hard on me. I had decided it was worth loosing that income rather than me not respecting my own limits and boundries first. Hope she see's the possiably dangerous situation that may lay's before her. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarpeDiem 2514 Report post Posted August 9, 2017 Oh, that's bad. Sorry, at the club she's at work, and he's on leisure time. If he can't see that she has to maintain relationships with a number of men, for the sake of her business, he shouldn't be there. What if you (Kilt Boy) weren't the paragon of virtue that you are, and had justifiably gotten pissed off for buying her a drink and her disappearing? That could have lost her the income from dances for you today, and possibly future regular income (I'm running out of verb tenses for these conditionals!) When a dancer is gracious enough to spend time outside of the CR with me, I always make it very clear that if she sees a situation where she has the opportunity to make some money, she should go for it. From everything I've read from you, you act the same. I think that any man in a club has to have that attitude, sorry. These are not "exclusive" relationships. I can't see any way this isn't going to get ugly. He either needs to accept the facts of life, or I think she'd be wise to put some distance between them. If she prefers the income, on the other hand, (and this is NOT what I recommend), why not have the same relationship with him outside of the club? Meet him in a (very public) bar, he pays for her time, buys her drinks and meals, etc., and she keeps him company? No interference from other men (who after all have the right to approach a dancer in a club), cheaper drinks, and to be honest probably much better music! 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Regent 35404 Report post Posted August 12, 2017 He sounds dangerous. That is a level of controlling creepiness that's just over the top. Clients who don't seem to fully grasp that it's a business relationship and that they are one of many clients will often push all kinds of other boundaries. Firing him as a client would probably be the best course of action, but I also know that many workers don't have the financial security to fire clients, even bad ones who do scary things. I've been out of that industry for a while now, but I hear from almost all of my dancer friends that it's getting harder and harder to make good money. Financial precariousness is really disempowering. :( Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Charlotte Edwards 8590 Report post Posted August 23, 2017 Yikes this guy definitely sounds dangerous. I just haven't heard of someone expecting that they own a dancer for the night simply for giving her some money to chat while he's there. Additional Comments: Yikes this guy definitely sounds dangerous. I just haven't heard of someone expecting that they own a dancer for the night simply for giving her some money to chat while he's there. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
